https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Thu, 14 May 2026 09:39:06 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition/page/2#post-1409969 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 19:32:04 +0000 Bea 1409969@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, this is so interesting. I think I (and many people in general) are a Russian-doll hybrid. That is, from a macro perspective, we are all very similar looking, indistinguishable. For someone more ensconced in the culture, I definitely stand out. I have crazy hair. Within my social group, I try to fit in - that is, keep up with the style/fashion/trends of my peers. Finally, deep down, I know and hope that I am a unique snowflake. &nbsp;So would that be rice &gt; wheat &gt; rice &gt; wheat? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition/page/2#post-1409918 Fri, 12 Dec 2014 18:11:50 +0000 AnnieMouse 1409918@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a cool concept.&nbsp;<br />I think, in my perception, I'm a rice grower - I think the building blocks of my clothing are firly mundane, and I do not like having my attire/ presentation remarked on, as a rule. Having said that, I think I am&nbsp;<i>perceived</i> as a wheat grower, because it seems my perception isn't conistent with the way others interpret my presentation.&nbsp;<br />I wear what makes me&nbsp;<i>happiest,&nbsp;</i>but I don't like when it draws attention. I just want to wear what I want to wear - it's not about others, it's about the colour/ texture/ shape/ construction makes me feel good. And I don't realise that it's unusual until someone comments on it -- it's all mall-type store wear, for the most part, so it doesn't seem like it's that far outside the norm. And yet, it often seems to get that sort of feedback of being unusual, despite being from J Crew or Express or whatnot.</p> <p>I don't know what that means, overall.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition/page/2#post-1407977 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 03:49:00 +0000 Jaime 1407977@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The asker/guesser thing definitely adds another layer of complexity to the situation. I will add that Israel has a lot of rice growing tendencies culture but is also&nbsp;a strong asker culture. I don't think the rice/wheat grower maps that well with the guesser/asker thing now that I think about it. Hmm.<br /><b>Alexandra</b>, I am not an asker, but when asked I am quite forthright with my opinions. Perhaps there needs to be another category for non-initiators like me.<br /><b>Deb</b>, yes I see asker/guesser might be more problematic than wheat/rice.<br /><b>Rachy</b> you are equal parts wisdom and humor.&nbsp;<br /><b>DonnaF</b> my reticence is more personality than culture driven, but it is actually a handicap in an asker culture. You are straddling the two and it is challenging.<br /><b>Amy</b> you are fascinating.&nbsp;<br /><b>Angie</b> you made my day, as always!<br />&nbsp;<br />Thanks everyone for the thought provoking discussion! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition/page/2#post-1407910 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 02:25:35 +0000 amiable 1407910@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The more I think about this, the more complex it is. &nbsp;</p> <p>I'm a rice grower. &nbsp;But I'm rather well disguised as a wheat grower. &nbsp;My family is culturally strange - we generally just live to the beat of a different drummer. Even among our church and homeschool groups, we're generally quite different (quirky? eccentric? &nbsp;I'm not sure what word to use). &nbsp;But I personally do a lot of things with a rice-motivation. &nbsp;I try to fit in with the group I want to fit in to - both fashion wise and other wise. &nbsp; &nbsp;At the same time, in some small ways I try to rebel against the same system - so in that sense, I'm a wheat grower... aak.</p> <p>Thanks for the introspective question. &nbsp;It's fun to think about!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition/page/2#post-1407810 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 00:13:00 +0000 catgirl 1407810@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><a rel="nofollow"></a>Interesting!&nbsp; I’m a rice grower in personality but a wheat grower in fashion.&nbsp; I mostly dress for myself and take the consequences.</p> <p>&nbsp;I attended a workshop on decision-making where they asked people to start all bunched up in a group, then take a step to the left or right depending on which one of several pairs of “value” words applied to them.&nbsp; For example, independence or interdependence; fairness or harmony; thoughts or feelings, etc.&nbsp; Not a Myers-Briggs thing, but along those lines.&nbsp; At the end, when the room was split up, each group was asked what their stereotypes of the other group would be.&nbsp; On one side were the “sissy commie hippie liberal patchouli-wearing tree-huggers” (the rice-growers in Shevia’s example) and on the other side were the “cold-hearted militant selfish narcissistic opportunists” (or wheat growers).&nbsp; The intent was to show how we judge people based on how much they share our own values.</p> <p>&nbsp;<span>Nothing to do with Shevia’s point, sorry!&nbsp; But&nbsp;a lot to do with the Asker/Guesser dichotomy.</span></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition/page/2#post-1407784 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 23:26:40 +0000 DonnaF 1407784@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My mother, a nisei (Japanese American - born here), is totally a Guesser and it drives me crazy because I am not a mind reader.&nbsp; If I want anything, I can't ask; she has to bestow it on me.&nbsp; When I lived in Japan for a bit during college, I knew it was a guessing culture and I knew my language, incl. body language skills were too rudimentary to figure it all out.&nbsp; :(</p> <p>IMHO, the U.S. is too diverse to be a guessing culture.&nbsp; I tend to be reticent and have a hard time being an Asker; cultural conditioning I suppose.&nbsp; :(</p> <p>I am mixed on being a rice grower vs. wheat grower.&nbsp; I am okay with sticking out a bit, but I don't want to stick out too much.&nbsp; I've received many comments about having upped my style quotient (since joining YLF btw), but haven't yet received snarky comments from my mother which indicates that I haven't gone too far out on a limb.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition/page/2#post-1407749 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 22:17:56 +0000 rachylou 1407749@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Guessing culture raises my blood pressure, but I do feel there are probably some things out there that should not be asked for. Like $5000 out of someone's last $10,000. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition/page/2#post-1407654 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 19:40:38 +0000 deb 1407654@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am both Asker and Guesser depending on the situation I think.&nbsp;It depends on the person/persons I am dealing with. In the place to stay situation I would ask for a recommendation and if the recipient suggests their place I can say yes or no. So, under these circumstances am I an Asker or a Guesser? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition/page/2#post-1407617 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 18:23:29 +0000 Angie 1407617@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>And I so enjoyed reading your reply, Jaime. Thanks for the kind words, and I'm reporting for Team Wheat duty at your request. xo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition/page/2#post-1407552 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 16:40:55 +0000 Alexandra 1407552@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm an Asker. Guessers drive me crazy. Interactions with them feel like a total minefield, take far too much energy, and at the end I still don't know if the answer is yes or no. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition/page/2#post-1407488 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 13:48:13 +0000 Jaime 1407488@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmm <b>MsMary</b>, the weird thing is I am pretty sure I am a guesser. And I am pretty sure you are a wheat grower through and through! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition/page/2#post-1407355 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 04:34:11 +0000 MsMary 1407355@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am a wheat-growing Asker.&nbsp; LOL</p> <p>That said, it is important to me to be appropriately dressed, even though I like to stand out within the confines of appropriateness.&nbsp; (So wait... does that make me a rice-grower after all?&nbsp; If appropriateness is one of my main goals?)</p> <p>And when I ask, I always preface it with "I'm going to ask, but I want you to know it's totally okay if the answer is 'no!'" </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition#post-1407316 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 03:16:14 +0000 Jaime 1407316@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Suz </b>you are one smart potato! I think it is clear that everyone is on the continuum from wheat to rice (and potato). I guess the question is whether your first impulse is to express yourself or to fit in. We then as individuals living in societies normally temper that impulse one way or the other.<br /><b>Staysfit</b> you are definitely wheat! Dressing to create an impression is different than dressing to fit in I think. Although both show awareness of the social structure. Interesting.<br /><b>Thistle</b> exactly. The ideal rice grower prefers a uniform I suppose.<br /><b>Elly,&nbsp;</b><b>Alexandra </b>and<b> E</b>&nbsp;I think you are wheat. Wheat does not have to stand out, it just has to do its own thing.<br /><b>Diana</b> you are also wheat imho. Wheat with wisdom to adapt.<br /><b>Angie</b>, I so enjoyed your answer :-). Yes, indeed, a lot of dressing to code in Israel. But I think I am going to pull you off the bench. Despite having grown up in a rice growing part of the world, I think you are definitely wheat. Part of your self-expression is being sensitive to others, that is just how you are.&nbsp;But you do not follow group norms - you set them!<br /><b>Aubergine</b> I think you are wheat too!<br /><b>Laura</b> I agree the article is reductive to a fault, but it does have a grain (;-))&nbsp;of truth and&nbsp;it does make a fun quiz. I live in a culture that has strong tendencies toward both wheat and rice like norms, and my American upbringing makes me bristle at some of the ricier aspects. I actually first thought of the connection between wheat and rice tendencies in terms of individual personalities, whereas people in&nbsp;my family on the autistic spectrum&nbsp;have extreme difficulties in situations where rice growing is required. I will check out the article you posted!</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition#post-1407083 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 21:01:25 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1407083@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think this is pop science at its worst (the linked article). Every culture may lean to one direction or the other, but every culture has a mixture of people with different tendencies and if we didn't have a combination of individuality and concern for the group we wouldn't be able to function as a society.</p> <p>That said, I think I'm a rice grower by training who struggles with living in a very wheat-y place (Silicon Valley). I grew up in a small town and learned that it was only considerate to be aware of other people's needs and reactions. And I think a lot of people who say they're being independent are actually just trying to look edgy and get reactions from other people - which is the opposite of actually being an individual. </p> <p>This discussion reminds me of this article about guess vs ask culture; have you guys read it? <a href="http://www.thewire.com/national/2010/05/askers-vs-guessers/19730/" rel="nofollow">http://www.thewire.com/nationa.....ers/19730/</a> Is a good summary and links to the original metafilter conversation. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition#post-1407020 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 19:31:31 +0000 Anonymous 1407020@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Both? Neither? Somewhere in the middle so I can have double the yummy carbs? I have no idea.&nbsp;</p> <p>I think I'm with Elly and E in focusing more on other considerations when figuring out what to wear and not being too concerned with either fitting in or standing out as long as I like the outfit and it works for me. Although I'll pay more attention to trying to blend&nbsp;in if there's some good reason to.</p> <p>Like Suz, I'd also choose the green pen just because I like green better than orange&nbsp;and think the train makes complete sense grouped either with the bus <i>or</i> the tracks. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition#post-1406985 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 18:32:59 +0000 E 1406985@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've been mulling this over and have decided that in everyday life I'm neither. I dress based on my mood or inspiration, in clothes I've bought because they're lovely or interesting or somehow 'me'. When I wear my full skirt 'formula,' I definitely stand out from my environment. But if suddenly my style became popular and everyone was dressing like a storybook gamine, I wouldn't change so as to stand out from them. And another main formula of mine involves skinnies, which are certainly mainstream around here. I won't say I completely blend in, because I still don't really look like the other women I see in mu neighbourhood, but I'm fairly similar, which doesn't bother me. I think I must wander about in a bubble in my daily life. ;)</p> <p>When I go to events or social gatherings or on international trips, I add a dose of rice growing to my approach; I still dress from my closet but aim to suit the occasion or in the case of travel the cultural mores. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition#post-1406944 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 17:16:19 +0000 Alexandra 1406944@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am me and I dress like me. Whether I blend in or stand out depends on who is around and how they're dressed. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition#post-1406930 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 17:05:01 +0000 Angie 1406930@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fun thread, Shevia. You are Team Wheat all the way. And I understood&nbsp;what gradfashionista is saying about Israel, having visited twice before. What you wear in Israel&nbsp;pegs you ideologically and politically right away&nbsp;- oh my goodness. That is soooo true. You are definately Team Wheat.&nbsp;</p> <p>Having very short masculine hair in an era&nbsp;of long feminine locks&nbsp;puts me onto Team Wheat.&nbsp;</p> <p>Choosing specs to hide my eyes&nbsp;when my eyes are actually a&nbsp;prominent feature of my face puts me onto Team Wheat. Most would choose contacts to accentuate their eyes. I choose to mask them under specs.&nbsp;</p> <p>The fact that I'm always dressed up - even in casual attire&nbsp;- is so not the norm here in Seattle, or in America in general. I wear white-out&nbsp;in the middle of a wet and cold&nbsp;Winter when most are in dark neutrals. There is Team Wheat again.</p> <p>That said, I also think it's important to "blend in" so that you make your audience feel comfortable. I've posted about this before. Within the confines of my own style,&nbsp;I do dress to suit my audience so that I'm more relatable to them:</p> <p><b></b><a rel="nofollow" href="http://youlookfab.com/2014/03/20/adjusting-my-outfit-to-suit-the-audience/">http://youlookfab.com/2014/03/.....-audience/</a></p> <p>For that reason I am benched with boiled eggs on toast and a hot cuppa tea.&nbsp;</p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition#post-1406917 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 16:30:25 +0000 Diana 1406917@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wheat in my everyday life, although I'm more likely to dress to blend in if I am somewhere unfamiliar, particularly alone. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition#post-1406904 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 15:53:11 +0000 Elly 1406904@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>IDK--- I do think about getting negative attention for my clothing choices (i.e. making others around me feel uncomfortable because of the price or inappropriateness of my clothes or getting sexually harassed)&nbsp; but I don't usually think about dressing to get positive attention on my clothes from others--- either because I fit in or stand out. I want to look good and feel like me and be happy in my clothes-- I'm totally comfortable in my out of the social norm red boots, but feel self-concious in my pink top. People comment on both and both are bright and not as expected but one is more me. I'm also totally happy wearing something everyone else has if it makes me happy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition#post-1406880 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 15:12:11 +0000 Thistle 1406880@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wheat grower here. Surprise, I am American. :)</p> <p>Really, though, somewhere in between I am not looking for overt attention from my clothes. But I actually donated a sweater once when myself and a coworker had the same one. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition#post-1406874 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 14:37:23 +0000 Staysfit 1406874@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wheat for sure. You don't get to be me or where I am personally or professionally if you are rice. When I came up with my style statement "Composed Creative", the creative is definitely the individuality, independence, and the side that stands out. Composed doesn't mean fitting in, it means gentle, approachable, calm, put together, organized, etc. </p> <p>I am the person who walks into a school building where everyone else is dressed in casual attire, and I am wearing a leather pencil skirt, chambray shirt, and high heels. Is that chambray shirt a nod to the casual? A step towards "rice"? Maybe? However, it also goes with my general style tendencies which are casual and comfortable. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition#post-1406852 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 13:42:22 +0000 Suz 1406852@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ha! I want to say potatoes!&nbsp;</p> <p>Does that make me a wheat grower?&nbsp;</p> <p>Not necessarily. Potatoes need to be well irrigated, like wheat...but they also require "hilling" or support. You have to protect them from getting sunburned. ;)&nbsp;</p> <p>Oh, and while I'd grab the green crayon, that's as much because I prefer green to orange as because it is "different." And asked that question about trains, train tracks, and buses, I would not have been able to answer without saying "it depends on your criterion!!!"&nbsp;</p> <p>Okay, with that out of my system, I think my dressing actually reflects this. On the whole, it's "wheat based" in the sense that I like to dress for me and don't mind looking different from my peers. OTOH, I also do try to blend in, in certain contexts -- where another person is the centre of attention (or should be); where it would be disrespectful or unkind to others to stand out too much; where others might be made uncomfortable.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition#post-1406839 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 13:22:35 +0000 Jaime 1406839@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for so much wonderful food for thought (haha :-))! I think there is always some tension between one's individual expression, which cannot ever be completely erased as <b>approprio</b> notes, and our existence as social creatures (we all do wear clothes after all).&nbsp;<br /><b>Linda</b> glad to have company on team wheat!<br /><b>Sara </b>and <b>Adelfa</b>, I think we all like to fit in to some extent - I consider myself wheat but not to the extent that I want to make a spectacle of myself.&nbsp;<br /><b>Rachy</b> I think you might be wheat unnoticed amongst the rice paddies.&nbsp;<br /><b>Caro&nbsp;</b>ha! So you are a hunter and gatherer sort of dresser. Hmm, I identify with that too!<br /><b>Sharan</b>, you dress with a lot of individuality within the range of what you consider appropriate. So maybe you are also wheat trying to work with the rice!<br /><b>Sarah</b> interesting observation about your split personality. I guess the question is which part do you most identify with - or both.<br /><b>Deb </b>you know yourself sartorially and gustatorially!<br /><b>Vildy</b>, I did relate to a lot of things you say. I am both very introverted and occasionally very talky, and I do not dress to invite conversation. I do wear a hat almost all the time I am outdoors, and this more than anything has invited unsolicited comments - so much so I would consider dropping the hats if they weren't just so good for sun protection and keeping my head warm!<br /><b>Approprio</b> I agree that the extremes are rare and would probably be considered deviant at best.&nbsp;</p> <p>ETA: <b>bettycrocker </b>you sound like my kind of wheat grower!<br />Thanks again everyone for the interesting conversation! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition#post-1406834 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 13:05:13 +0000 Anonymous 1406834@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm most definitely a wheat grower. I was raised to dress myself to get noticed - not to blend in. I think this explains why although I'm a Classic at my core, I always feel the need to do something a little different to stand out - different accessories or whatever. I never want to look like a carbon copy of anything. I draw inspiration from this forum and elsewhere, and then try to create my own way of wearing those outfits and ideas. I don't think being a wheat grower means my self expression on clothing needs to be extreme, though I admire those who can pull off looks that don't work for me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition#post-1406831 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 12:41:38 +0000 crutcher 1406831@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great post...I am a wheat thank you..I dress myself with lots of experience figuring out what works for me...That doesn't mean that I don't care what other people wear, its just I know what I like and that usually works for me... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition#post-1406830 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 12:40:33 +0000 Vildy 1406830@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>aproprio</b>, I was trying to explain that I *didn't* want people approaching me - much like that Thursday links article about the Japanese wearing masks in order to discourage that. :D&nbsp; </p> <p>What I wear to blend in is a pair of jeans. Most women wearing jeans around here are wearing a skinny fit, if not actual leggings as pants. I don't care for wearing skinnies, as they feel too intimate to me. And I would wear some kind of jacket that was casualized, not fitted to the figure, and the color would be an unremarkable neutral.&nbsp; </p> <p>I did find out this summer, when I experimented with it, that I could take an old faded orange baseball cap of my husband's and I could wear anything I pleased, as dressy as I wanted, otherwise. People seemed very comfortable with me and I tested it out by going to a local tiny flea market. Usually when I go to a yard sale - which is infrequent because I don't like how dearly people value the goods they will be throwing away unbought at the end of the day - I am with a friend. <br />If I do see something I'd like, I ask her to inquire about the price. She always gets a lowball price or the same price everybody gets told but I've often had the experience of hearing other customers told that everything in that category is, say, fifty cents, and they buy one for that but when I pick one up, "Oh no, That's five dollars". Well, with the baseball cap, I get the same prices as anyone else walking up! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition#post-1406822 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 11:38:19 +0000 approprio 1406822@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is a fascinating question, and one I think we're all dealing with on some level.&nbsp;</p> <p>There's a huge difference&nbsp;in my opinion&nbsp;between dressing appropriately for the occasion, and looking the same as everyone else. In other words, distinguishing yourself and fitting in are not mutually exclusive.&nbsp;In fact,&nbsp;I don't know if it's&nbsp;really possible for anyone to dress according to a norm, even when wearing a uniform, because it seems&nbsp;inevitable that individual identity is going to express itself somehow,&nbsp;through hair style,&nbsp;grooming, jewellery,&nbsp;piercings, body art and what have you.</p> <p>So I'm very intrigued by Vildy's cloak of invisibility that she uses to make herself approachable in her day to day life. I'm reminded of a scene from Mad Men early in Season 1, where Don is leaving the apartment of his beatnik girlfriend, knowing that the police are outside. One of Midge's flatmates tells Don he can't go out there, the cops are waiting.... Don replies "No, *you* can't go out there" and very&nbsp;calmly,&nbsp;leaves the room in his perfect businessman drag, greets the cop on his way out and goes on his way.</p> <p>One of the paradoxes of women's wear is that we're always supposed to dress correctly, but we're given almost unlimited choice in how we should do that. I always feel this is both a blessing and a curse. I love the creative expression I can do perform with&nbsp;clothing, but I'm almost neurotically afraid of getting it wrong.</p> <p>I know I'm growing wheat. But part of me&nbsp;loves to grow rice as well. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition#post-1406816 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 07:36:21 +0000 Vildy 1406816@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My mentality is such that I would see choosing one of the orange pencils as "safer."&nbsp; Safer not to stand out too much. My instincts are to stand out and be noticed but from a close up distance, not from across the street or the room. <br />I definitely make conscious choices about how I might best blend in, in order to be taken for granted enough so that I can do what I want and be who I want. <br />Many periods of my life I have been alone on the street or attending some venue. Whenever I have companions or am able to travel by car, I am going to wear exactly what I want and ignore fitting in. In my neighborhood, you don't see people and especially women walking the streets to get anywhere, though occasionally out for exercise. The people who are out in the street alone, look like they're looking for trouble or have already found it. Women tend not to wear skirts here. I do wear them but am cautious about it. Other women who are wearing skirts are going to work and are only glimpsed entering their car in their driveway or in front of their rowhouse. </p> <p>But more generally, I used to live on the other side of the river in the neighboring state and when I went into Philadelphia regularly, decades ago then, would often notice that I was the only woman alone - who wasn't clearly mentally ill - and not with a male or female companion, whether shopping or&nbsp; attending any venue. I once attended an academic conference with my then boyfriend and spent a lot of time on my own exploring Baltimore. When I was in the hotel lobby, having been introduced to a professor from Italy, he quietly remarked to me, "Always alone."&nbsp; </p> <p>When I came to Philadelphia to go to college, I used to go into the center of town regularly to shop and go to movies. I used to attend many campus events. I was pointedly told that other women would not go anywhere alone. Women did not want anyone to think they hadn't a date for the event or were friendless. When I grew up in Southern California, we lived out in the sticks. I went to the larger city every weekend by myself as a teenager. I couldn't get any other girl to go with me because it involved riding the bus that traveled Route 66. My parents had lived back East and were familiar with public transportation but other girls' parents were very suspicious of it and worried that their daughters would be bothered or endangered by the other passengers. I think, though, that whether for weekend excursions or for school life, I dressed like an oddball - even though I had close friends, many acquaintances and a boyfriend - because my influences were mostly the old movies I watched on tv or the magazines I read. I longed to be grown up because I only saw the side of it where I imagined that people would stop interfering with me for my own good and I could do what I wanted to. :D&nbsp; So I dressed like the grown up I wanted to be. If I went to a larger social event for teens where I didn't know anybody, I would be pretty much shunned by the boys and I think it was because my manner of dressing - overformally, too grown up - was intimidating and I wasn't a "regular" girl.&nbsp; I didn't look friendly.</p> <p>In high school, those of us who rode the bus were deposited at school quite early. Some of us would find our friends and there were tiny groups of girls who would walk the campus together before classes. My friend, from a Southern family, would say Hi to everyone we encountered. I asked why she said Hi to all those people she didn't know. She countered, Why not? So I learned a lesson from her and started then to speak to strangers. In college, girls in my dorm demanded to know how I got all those boys to walk me home from classes. I said I talked to them in class when they were sitting next to me. They were shocked that I would talk to someone I hadn't been introduced to. In later life, I was introduced at a community meeting as "the friendliest person in town who can get anybody to talk to her."&nbsp; At an icebreaker exercise within the school district where I was a community activist, we were to be interviewed briefly by the person next to us and then we would stand up and introduce that person, emphasizing perhaps little known facts. When the fellow introduced me and said, "She says she's shy," the room burst out laughing and some people actually slapped their knees. But there's a difference in how I dress and how I behave. I don't dress to encourage people to approach me - I don't aim to look friendly - but I am proactively "friendly" and chat them up first as a way of disarming them. I am what I recently read in an article : an extremely prepared introvert. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/are-you-a-rice-grower-or-a-wheat-grower-not-about-nutrition#post-1406804 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 06:27:19 +0000 deb 1406804@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I grow wheat here but have a hard time eating it. I much prefer brown rice. </p>