https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 26 Apr 2026 13:22:59 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/3#post-1290719 Sun, 29 Jun 2014 14:19:55 +0000 Archer 1290719@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So true Gaylene. My lovely husband is an ESFP. I agree MBTI does have its uses and misuses- mostly by magazines etc but not only.<br /> Knowing a loved one's preferences allows for forgiveness of self and others which I find is its most powerful effect- used well. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/3#post-1290366 Sat, 28 Jun 2014 20:56:23 +0000 Alassë 1290366@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Very interesting thread. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/3#post-1290209 Sat, 28 Jun 2014 17:19:11 +0000 MsLuna 1290209@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow! I can't believe I'm learning a bit about MBTI here in YLF. Aside from fashion and style, personality and people have always been an interest of mine. It's really good to read what both Gaylene and Archer wrote, given that they're both MBTI practitioners! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/3#post-1290179 Sat, 28 Jun 2014 16:41:35 +0000 Gaylene 1290179@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks, Archer, for re-emphasizing those points. This INTJ also gets bugged by all the quick and dirty assessment tools, and misinterpretations of MBTI, that float around. MBTI traits are better thought of as inherent preferences, like right/left hand dominance, that stay with us for our entire lives; what changes as we grow older is our ability to understand, adapt, and "work against type".</p> <p>MBTI theory has its limitations, to be sure, but I think it can be a useful tool in understanding human behavior. My pet peeve, though, is the tendency to unconsciously celebrate and elevate one's own personal trait preferences and downplay the strength and value of the opposing trait. My husband, to whom I've been happily married to for 40 odd years, is my exact opposite--ESFP. Being around him can be exasperating and exhausting, but he brings out the best parts of my INTJ personality because I have to moderate my instinctive tendencies and see things from an alien viewpoint. Together, I like to think, we are both better off than we would have been if we had married our similar types. Thanks to him, I have a fairly active social life and a wide circle of friends--and he gets a chance to reflect and meditate in a quiet setting--but it took some major adapting for both of us to get to this point. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/3#post-1290103 Sat, 28 Jun 2014 13:47:17 +0000 Archer 1290103@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ditto everything Gaelene said. I too am an MBTI practitioner. Our hand dominance doesn't change- unless forced by external factors.<br /> Properly debriefed you'd know that it's not a reflection of 'how much' T or F or any of the dichotomies one is. On a full scale assessment administered 1:1, if you are an F by a small margin- you are an F. Sorry Mary- the fence sitting comes from being a good learner, adapting easily and that makes the forced choice instrument different to sliding scale assessments. It is just that a forced choice Y/N bit like buy or leave in the shop. ENTP Me. We don't erroneous info floating around.:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/3#post-1290086 Sat, 28 Jun 2014 13:20:26 +0000 MsLuna 1290086@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wish I had checked this thread sooner! I'm back in school for counselling at the moment and I've been studying personalities/typology on my own. Eventually, I'll be qualified to administer assessments (once I get my diploma). I actually also did a job search workshop on networking for introverts as a final project, so I have done quite a bit of research in the area!</p> <p>So one thing I learned in my research is that introversion and shyness don't usually go hand-in-hand. Shyness is more of a social anxiety bug introversion is a way one operates. Shyness is "fixable" but introversion is something one shouldn't fix - it's just indicative on how a person gathers their energy. I'm no expert (but eventually I'll get my Myers Briggs certification) </p> <p>You mentioned that you tend to recharge by spending time alone. Generally, that's an introvert quality. However, there are some extroverts who are that way as well. Everyone has both sides for instance, I'm almost an abosilute 50/50 (52% extrovert) and I'm an ENFP. Apparently, a lot of ENFP's (based on what I read) need some downtime as well just to feel centred. I used to get soooo weirded out by this but I've learned to accept and respect my need to be alone (usually to engage in my creative hobbies).</p> <p>I haven't read the rest of the thread but it would be really cool what others have to say :)</p> <p>ETA: Gaylene, that's very interesting stuff you posted! Good way to see the Myers Briggs as preferences! Thanks so much for sharing your knowledge! I always find this stuff interesting! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/3#post-1289505 Fri, 27 Jun 2014 18:14:11 +0000 DonnaF 1289505@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just picked up from the library Susan Cain's Quiet -- in audio CD format.&nbsp; Listening while driving is the only way I can finish a *book* in a timely manner.&nbsp; Thanks for the recommendation y'all! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/3#post-1289426 Fri, 27 Jun 2014 16:46:17 +0000 rachylou 1289426@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>gardenchick - </b>that sounds an interesting book. I'm very curious to hear more about the centrovert.</p> <p>Having placed in the middle myself, on a tangent, I've noticed something: Depending on *my work,* I lean one way or the other. When I was busy fundraising and organising people - well, that's the only time in my life I hosted dinner parties. As a tech writer in cubeville, I have no desire to do things like that. I can practically hear the "kerchunk" when I switch "neural pathways." It's like a railroad switch and as clunky too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/3#post-1289069 Fri, 27 Jun 2014 04:43:41 +0000 gardenchick 1289069@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great discussion! </p> <p>A long time ago I tested as an ENTJ. But it's confusing: I'm in the middle. I like talking to people and am curious about them. But if I need to be on with people, especially those I don't know as well, for a lot of hours, I feel the need to recharge with a quiet activity like reading, cooking, gardening, etc.</p> <p>I read a book recently that I found helpful: Networking for People Who Hate Networking: A Field Guide for Introverts, the Overwhelmed, and the Underconnected. The author used the term "centrovert" to describe people like...me, and a lot of you from the way you describe yourselves. One if the main points was that our society does value extroversion over introversion, but introverts will be more successful/balanced if they just utilize their own strengths in social situations -- for example, trying to connect with a small number of people at an event rather than pushing oneself to meet everyone. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/3#post-1288332 Thu, 26 Jun 2014 15:26:31 +0000 deb 1288332@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A few more sites.</p> <p><a href="http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp" rel="nofollow">http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp</a></p> <p><a href="http://www.acreated.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.acreated.com/</a></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1288249 Thu, 26 Jun 2014 13:43:35 +0000 Janet 1288249@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'd like to take M-B again, too. It's been quite a while. </p> <p>Stacey and Ceit really touched on some of my experience so well. I'm an introvert who apparently somehow does a darn good job of "performing" as though I'm not. After all, I've been a radio announcer for how many years? And I surprised myself in college by becoming a decent public speaker. But I am definitely *working* and I have to be *on* to be in public mode, even as an artist, when I have an opening or give a presentation. After five hours of receiving guests at an open studio day, I am wiped out and rarely want to socialize that night.</p> <p>Actually, I think radio can be well-suited to the introvert. We can talk to a big group of people without being surrounded by them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1288099 Thu, 26 Jun 2014 06:40:00 +0000 CocoLion 1288099@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.16personalities.com">http://www.16personalities.com</a></p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.personalitypathways.com">http://www.personalitypathways.com</a></p> <p>However, I would not put too much stock in these… I did some more tests on myself (just for fun, LOL) and the results came up wildly different. &nbsp;Each time. &nbsp;For example INFP to ENTJ. &nbsp;So I'm sticking with the original test I took 7 years ago which was INTP. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1288092 Thu, 26 Jun 2014 06:18:13 +0000 Deborah 1288092@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Loving reading this thread.&nbsp;I haven't done any of this testing for such a long time.&nbsp; Does anyone have a link to an online one???&nbsp; I think I was an extrovert who is now an introvert lol </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1288003 Thu, 26 Jun 2014 02:51:45 +0000 CocoLion 1288003@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What an interesting conversation. &nbsp;I feel as if I'm getting to know everyone better. &nbsp;Like others (Mo, Greg, Ambergreen and Ceit) I am an INTP. &nbsp;I tested that way before and again did a quickie test tonight, still INTP. &nbsp;However in the past I was also closer to the "E" preference than I feel I am now. &nbsp;When I took the test with a career counselor 7 years ago, I was coming off a long period of unemployment. &nbsp;The lack of human contact forced me to seek company through friends and activities; it turned me more into an extrovert. &nbsp;Now that I work in an intensely social environment, a restaurant, it is pushing me back to my truer, introvert nature. &nbsp;Like others I need a break from all of the socializing both in front and back of the house,&nbsp;that comes with food service.</p> <p>Just doing the quickie test tonight I was surprised to see I am becoming more Sensing as I get older. &nbsp;Along the lines of Gaylene's comment, that these are preferences and can be changed, I am finding that my work and environment shape me. &nbsp;My work is about remembering the precise details around me, and taking in cues. &nbsp;Who ate what, does it look like they need a drink refill, a box, etc. &nbsp;All very small details but&nbsp;constantly forcing me to take in specific facts rather than intuiting a bigger picture. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1287205 Wed, 25 Jun 2014 04:34:29 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1287205@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've always tested as a Myers Briggs INTJ, although I suspect I've become more of a P as I age. I've also learned how to be more comfortable in social situations, although I think I'll always be an introvert in the sense that I find social situations draining. I was a shy kid, and awkward, and so all of that fed into the introversion. Now I can prioritize better, and set limits, but I still dread certain situations and get really thrown off when things don't go as planned. When I was on antidepressants the way they changed how I dealt with social situations was really interesting. I think at its base they decreased my anxiety level in all sorts of situations - sometimes for good and sometimes for bad. Anxiety exists for a reason, you know!</p> <p>There are books by psychologist Elaine Aron about what she calls high sensitivity - it's been a while since I read them but it's basically the amount of stimuli that you prefer. You can be a high sensation seeker but still introverted, or highly sensitive irrespective of your introversion or extroversion. A lot of what y'all are talking about is about the overlap of stimuli preferences and intro/extroversion. Lifestyle makes a difference, too - when I worked in an office I wanted mellow nights after work but now I work at home I often want to go out and do something in the evenings. My poor husband gets barraged by my conversation when he first walks in the door! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1287150 Wed, 25 Jun 2014 03:02:52 +0000 Jeanie 1287150@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I haven't taken this test in a long time and I think I have changed a lot. &nbsp;This is really an eye-opener! &nbsp;I am now a ENFJ. &nbsp;I really thrive around people and love to share ideas&nbsp;but I still need down time. &nbsp;I think we all need down time like <b>Gaylene</b> mentioned. &nbsp;As much as I like people there are times, like running a meeting, that feels, like putting on a show, like <b>Ceit</b> says. &nbsp;This has been an very insightful discussion. &nbsp;I am a bit late but glad I read it over. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1287132 Wed, 25 Jun 2014 02:34:36 +0000 Ariadne 1287132@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Another INFJ here. &nbsp;I've tested consistently as an INFJ for over 10 years, in fact.</p> <p>I love people and can socialize well if I'm in the right mood, but I need tons and tons of quiet, solitary recharge time. &nbsp;This is the most challenging part of parenting little kids, for me. No alone time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1287079 Wed, 25 Jun 2014 01:04:27 +0000 kerry 1287079@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>INFJ but moderately so across the board. This doesn't surprise me because I often think I both ends of just about any spectrum.</p> <p>As a teacher, I know that I'm an introvert. I look at the other teachers around me and, except for a few, see how they are extroverts and we operate sooo differently. I think my introversion, and a little HSP, is the main reason for my recent switch from middle school math teacher (150 kids a day) to a kindergarten teacher (30).</p> <p>My husband is an extrovert and will sometimes call me antisocial. It's hard for him to understand that while I love people and love to engage in deep conversations and make significant connections - it's all very exhausting! Do introverts need to recharge because they've been with people or because of the WAY they've been with people? The most enjoyable social situations for me are when I can talk to one other person in a meaningful way. </p> <p>I read Marin's comment with interest. My daughter is 4 years old just finishing JK. I think she might be an introvert and maybe a little shy but I don't want to label her too soon. So I am watching and waiting.</p> <p>I could also relate to L'Abeille's comment about her two kids. I have a friend who was on maternity leave just after me. When we compared notes on how we spent that year - it was totally different! I called it my mat leave bubble and loved it. She joined all kinds of mom groups and was out and about constantly - clear examples of an introvert and an extrovert.</p> <p>I think I measure moderately for introversion because I'm a people pleaser. I want people to like me so I become more extroverted to be more pleasurable to others. I think the world sometimes sees introverts as downers. I also have this weird belief that introversion is socially weak. Not that I really think that it is. I think it's so much more interesting to relate socially to the world as an introvert (of course I would, I'm an introvert!) but believe in the age of the Personality as Cain refers to, extroverts seem to get ahead faster in many domains. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1287016 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 23:13:10 +0000 deb 1287016@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It took me years to not total shut down when somebody raised their voice to.at me. Well, shut down then tear up. In fact, just a few months ago at a dinner party, a friend raised his voice at me because he did not like something I said. I said hardly a word the rest of the evening. He even told me it was ok for me to talk. I know he did not mean anything by it and it is just his way. Later at home I looked back at the discussion And was so surprised by my reaction. I really thought I had my old reactions under control, but I guess I was wrong. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1287002 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 22:57:58 +0000 Gaylene 1287002@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just another thought about MBTI for those interested in the theory. Hands down, the part of the workshop participants found the most valuable was when participants were divided into opposing types and asked to list what they liked and what they found most challenging when dealing with people whose type preference was opposite to theirs. Most introverts were stunned to find the extroverts thought introverts often acted like unfriendly snobs, while the extroverts were chastened to think their friendliness was often seen as rude, loud, and pushy. Intuitives were asked to please stop trying to re-invent everything and to quit jumping from idea to idea, to which they responded by asking sensors to stop being so concerned with picky details and so stuck on routines. Feelers were seen as challenging because they could be so sensitive and easily hurt, while thinkers were told they lacked tact and were too blunt. Perceivers were asked to quit dithering and make up their mind, while judges were seen as being too critical and unwilling to consider other viewpoints. </p> <p>The real lesson, of course, is that each trait has its sunshine and shadow sides. One of the biggest hurdles most of us have is to value the opposite preference as much as we value our own, and to recognize the difficulties that our preferences pose for others who have to deal with us. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1286931 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 21:15:56 +0000 L'Abeille 1286931@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm an INFP. Love being around people, but really need my alone time to recharge.</p> <p>Story time: my son is INTP. My youngest daughter is ENFP. SInce we became empty nesters (yay!) each of them has had a stint living back home with us, in our new place in a remote seaside town (from which we both commute for work).</p> <p>When DS was staying with us, he would be alone during the weekdays, with no car, for two weeks at a stretch before he craved actual human companionship beyond his parents. (Although when the Internet cut out, that was a different story.) But when DD was at home, and I had a night on call followed by a music lesson, and topped that off with a trying-on-clothes-at-a-sale spree, I got a desperate series of texts "WHERE ARE YOU? I HAVE NOT TALKED TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING FOR 12 WHOLE HOURS! i AM GOING OUT OF MY MIND!" </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1286736 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 17:19:41 +0000 Angela K 1286736@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Chiming in late but WOW! how fascinating--I thought maybe I was crazy but I have to echo what many of you said regarding liking to socialize but needing quiet to recharge.&nbsp; I just (quickly) took the Myers-Briggs test and found that I am an ISTJ (and Ms. Mary we can be judgey together!) Unfortunately, my score was pretty high for that--I need to think on that some.&nbsp; I also want to take time to reread the replies in this thread--I think I can learn a lot from them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1286676 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 15:46:04 +0000 Marlene 1286676@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have done the M-B test many times over the years (did I change?) and I am always a INFJ. &nbsp;Observation: &nbsp;Introverts do well "socializing" on internet boards. &nbsp;We can make friends from the comfort of our quiet homes. &nbsp;Probably why there are so many here on YLF. &nbsp;Also, introverts are more likely to express themselves with clothing since we don't do as well with our spoken word. &nbsp;</p> <p>I had the most interesting discussion with a friend&nbsp;after church last week. &nbsp;Coffee hour is perhaps the most stressful time of church. &nbsp;All that socializing and large group dynamics. &nbsp;I had to retreat to the quiet of the foyer. &nbsp;As I stood there regrouping, another person came out. &nbsp;I blurted out...I'm an introvert and need some quiet space. &nbsp;And she said the same thing! &nbsp;So we regrouped together and chatted about the challenges of being introvert within such a social environment.&nbsp; I told her about the challenges of parenting an introvert. &nbsp;Next thing I knew, my son came out to the foyer so he could regroup as well. &nbsp;We also chatted about the challenges of being an introvert married to an extrovert! &nbsp;</p> <p></p> <p>ETA - Gaylene, I agree that its about PREFERENCES. &nbsp;I have trained myself to be more extroverted since it does help with my daily life and to fit in with society in general. &nbsp;But its not my preference. &nbsp;And I get worn out quickly</p> <p>Best meme ever: &nbsp; Introverts UNITE! &nbsp;By yourselves. &nbsp;In your own home!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1286562 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 13:22:10 +0000 Anonymous 1286562@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene, you make an excellent point about adaptability. Because we live in a world that values qualities often associated with extroversion, many of us true introverts <i>do</i>&nbsp;learn to stretch ourselves, whether it's for job expectations, culture, family, friends, or any number of other circumstances. Like you said, it's important to remember that we're talking about <i>preferences</i>, not capabilities. Even as an introvert, I still crave social time with close friends and families. I also know that when I go to a crowded concert or festival, I can have a good time but get wiped out much faster than my more naturally extroverted loved ones.&nbsp;</p> <p>Ceit, I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. I know exactly what you mean when you talk about having to put on a show. I always feel like that when I run a training session. I'm told that I'm actually good at it, and I even enjoy it, but it takes me a long time to come down from being "on."&nbsp;I think being a parent of young children can have some extra&nbsp;complications for introverts. Your personal time dwindles down to practically nothing, and that can be very stressful for someone who craves alone time to recharge and be at her best.&nbsp;</p> <p>Aziraphale, I've probably given way too much thought to how my natural introversion affects how I present myself. ISTJs are known for living inside their heads a little too much. :)&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1286371 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 04:06:38 +0000 Aziraphale 1286371@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Deb -- I like the term "closet introvert" too -- although I think I was maybe the opposite. My mom used to say that as a child, I was quiet and bookish at home.&nbsp;I would never ask to play with other kids, but was perfectly happy and very social if <i>she</i> invited kids over for me. I still feel that way. I don't tend to&nbsp;initiate social things, but I happily go along for a lot of rides. (It could also be laziness).&nbsp;Also, I remember my mom&nbsp;describing her astonishment when, at the end of the first&nbsp;month or so of preschool, the teacher described me as "kind of aggressive". Turns out I wasn't accustomed to having other children snatch my toys away, and I had been solving&nbsp;the problem by&nbsp;walloping them over the&nbsp;head. So, not shy -- not even as a four-year-old. Clearly introverted does not equal shy.</p> <p>Gaylene -- thanks for the long explanation. Totally makes sense. It's probably not a bad idea for any of us to venture into territory that doesn't come easily. I don't intend to go back to teaching high school, but I value the experience. Getting up and giving a presentation no longer holds any fear for me, and it's because of those hours and hours of teaching.</p> <p>Stacey, this comment you made: "I often think my introverted tendencies tend to show up in what I wear. I just cannot handle a lot of stimuli without my brain shutting down" -- I can relate to that. I prefer simplicity and muted colours. Maybe you're onto something.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1286331 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 03:08:10 +0000 deb 1286331@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene, when you mention the 'depends' about the questions I remember that was the response in my head as I navigated through. I truly like to be alone and 'hide' but as the oldest&nbsp;child&nbsp;could not do that. When my teachers told my parents how quiet and shy I was they were so surprised so I guess, to my parents I am a closet introvert. I love that term. As a child if you gave me a closet, a flashlight and a book, I was in heaven. Thank you for such a good explanation.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1286250 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 01:37:20 +0000 Anonymous 1286250@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>INTP here. I loved your post Gaylene, I can totally stretch and be social and outgoing in my teaching but it is hard work! I feel like I am performing, complete with endorphin rush at the end and feeling fizzy and too hyper. I then always need time alone to recharge.</p> <p>I found the infant stage with both kids really hard. To have something hanging on me or touching me all the time was so draining. Even now I sometimes unthinkingly deflect the kids when they come over for a hug/clamber all over me. I have to consciously open up and initiate touch, and all those little intimate gestures do not come naturally at all. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1286143 Tue, 24 Jun 2014 00:10:33 +0000 Suz 1286143@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a great explanation, Gaylene. Makes perfect sense to me. I also think it can be a good thing to stretch ourselves to work in our "non dominant hand," so to speak. As long as we don't do it to the point of negative stress and as long as we are consciously doing it for growth, it's a good thing. You're right, though, that we are often pressured to behave in specific ways and can completely lose track of our deep preference as a result.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1286116 Mon, 23 Jun 2014 23:48:28 +0000 Gaylene 1286116@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>As a certified MBTI trainer in my distant past (along with a foray into conducting workshops on Riso's Enneagram types), I think that there is a lot of confusion about the concepts of introversion and extraversion as descriptors of human behavior. Introverts can be quite outgoing and social, while extraverts can be quite happy spending quiet time alone with a book or being in an intimate setting with a few friends.</p> <p>MBTI is really about <i><b>preferences</b></i> rather than how a person actually interacts with others and with his/her environment. I used the example of right/left handiness to explain the concept in my workshops. Most of us have a preference for using one hand over the other--our dominant hand--<b><i>but </i></b><i><b>that doesn't mean we can't perform tasks with our non-dominant hand</b> </i>if we are required to do so--for example, a person whose dominant hand is immobilized in a cast. The catch is, for most us, working in our non-dominant hand requires more concentration and effort, our movements are slower and often more awkward, and the end result may not be as good as if we had been able to use our dominant hand. With effort and practice, though, many <i><b>people can train themselves to become ambidextrous to the point where a casual observer might not be able to detect any difference</b></i><b>.</b> The preference hasn't truly disappeared, but a person isn't as affected by his/her preference as is someone who has only ever worked with his/her dominant hand.</p> <p>If you think about introversion and extraversion as preferences, rather than labels, it makes sense that many people actually do train themselves to be ambidextrous, especially if they are in jobs or environments where a particular preference is considered to be "better". Generally North American society is geared towards extraversion, so those who have a preference for introversion often choose to be "closet" introverts and learn from an early age to display many of the extravert preferences. In other cultures, or circumstances, an extrovert might learn how to "tone down" his/her preferences to fit into a set of family or job expectations. </p> <p>And just a couple more points. Strange as it may seem, figuring out a MBTI preference isn't always that easy; it's like trying to figure out one's style preferences--I should know how I want to dress myself, but the more I think about it and explore options, the more confused I get. Many of the statements on tests of extroversion vs. introversion could be truthfully answered "<i>it depends</i>" because most of us have learned to morph and adapt to different circumstances. It can take quite a bit of thought to differentiate between what I can <b>do </b>from what<b> I </b>might actually <b>prefer.</b></p> <p>It took me quite a while to realize that I was a "closet" introvert because I felt much more comfortable being an extravert professionally and socially. Most of the descriptors on popular <b>E</b> vs.<b>I</b> tests place me squarely in the extravert end of the continuum, but my true preferences lie at the opposite end. For most of my life, I worked and played "in my other hand" since performance always trumped preference for me--and I've come to realize that I'm not alone in doing that. As I used to tell my workshop participants, though, learning that about myself was much more useful than trying to figure out which label I ought to put on my forehead. </p> <p>ETA:&nbsp; And just one more thought: My sister is a true MBTI extravert but even she needs time alone to re-charge from her public, demanding job. She lives alone and loves being able to retreat back to her place at the end of a busy day. She also is choosey about her friends; she wouldn't be happy sharing a room with someone she didn't like or know very well. I guess my point is that all of these characteristics that seem to point towards introversion actually are more about an individual's personality, circumstances, and tastes than about extraversion or introversion. As I said, it's complicated.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-know-anything-about-introversionextroversion/page/2#post-1286109 Mon, 23 Jun 2014 23:44:50 +0000 Kristin L 1286109@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yup, I'm an INFJ as well. I've heard it's the rarest personality type I'm not sure how that translates out. I'm amazed how many of us there are on this thread. :)</p> <p>Like Diana and Suz said, I have to prepare myself when I know I'm going to be around a large group of people. Looking back, that's probably why I dreaded going to conferences. I'd have to be "on" for several days at time and by end of it, I'd be exhausted.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p>