https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 21 Apr 2026 00:06:55 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications/page/2#post-1953514 Wed, 05 Sep 2018 23:18:18 +0000 Laurie 1953514@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think I already recommended this, but if not&nbsp; ...the book&nbsp;<u>Crazy U<br /></u>is an excellent read.&nbsp; Written by a journalist, it chronicles his and his son's experience during this period.&nbsp; &nbsp;It made me both laugh and, unexpectedly - on a plane - cry.&nbsp; You will so see yourself and everyone else you know whose kid is applying in this story.<br /><u><br /></u>And after all this work to get in and make the big decision, you will just not even believe how fast the entire 4 years of college goes!&nbsp; Continued good luck to you and your tuba player.&nbsp;<br /><u></p> <p></u> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications/page/2#post-1953224 Tue, 04 Sep 2018 20:51:00 +0000 Glory 1953224@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow I had no idea of the complexities on American universities. I have one child in Uni and another at college here in Canada. They each applied to 3, submitted a transcript and that was it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications/page/2#post-1953112 Tue, 04 Sep 2018 13:00:25 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1953112@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gryffin, when my son talks about going to college in New York, as he sometimes does, NYU is the school I think of. I didn’t realize it was super international. That sounds good for him. </p> <p>But really, I hope we can skip the entire chapter. Not college—I think he will love college! But US applications are so crazy these days. You are doing all the right stuff, which is very intimidating to me. Seriously, I’m the worst at hiring people-I’d probably get a counselor that would make bad choices or something. </p> <p>Germany’s process (as far as I know—Joha, Astrid, and others who know better can certainly correct me) seems a lot more sane. If you go to a school on the college track (it is entirely possible not to, and go to trade school or whatever), then there is a test at the end of secondary school that determines where you can go to university. Within that, you have some choice. The test itself, and the prep leading up to it, are very stressful, of course, but I don’t believe Germans put in the kind of hours with evening classes and tutors and late night studying, etc you hear about in East Asia. There is school, where you do your best, there is a prep period, and there is the test. All fairly orderly, rational, and transparent. </p> <p>My kid hates not knowing what’s happening. The stress of the US decision process, where you really aren’t sure if they’re going to even look at your essay, much less what they’re looking for, or whether you need to do an interview, and some kids have really great, well-connected private counselors who “get” them and others don’t, would just about kill him, and his stress would drive me nuts. If he wants to go back to the US, of course he may do so, but my hope is that we’ll be happily enough settled here that he won’t. </p> <p>Good luck to you and your son through this process! It sounds like you are doing all the right things for him. Knowing Mama’s got his back is key. I wish him much happiness where ever he lands. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications/page/2#post-1951629 Tue, 28 Aug 2018 01:12:44 +0000 gryffin 1951629@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rachy - there’s always regret. We couldn’t see “the big picture” at that age. Considering how difficult being a teen is at any age, I think we all did great to survive it at all!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications/page/2#post-1951500 Mon, 27 Aug 2018 15:56:01 +0000 rachylou 1951500@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am just so glad I’m not a kid today. The process is so much harder and stupefying... and I was so dazed and confused in my own day. Thank god for my one teacher who just came and got me for the AP English test. I never would have thought of signing up for that on my own. My dad wanted me to do O Levels (and I suppose A levels) and I rejected them out of hand for not being American... more stupidity on my part... sigh. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1951486 Mon, 27 Aug 2018 14:26:34 +0000 gryffin 1951486@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ummlila - I feel your pain.&nbsp; I live in NJ.&nbsp; Driving into NYC is a nightmare.&nbsp; Fortunately my DH is a native new Yorker.&nbsp; They are a different breed of driver.&nbsp; Marching band is high up on the wants list so that pretty much ruled out every big city school.&nbsp; I was not unhappy.&nbsp; I'm just praying he gets a good tuba teacher who is a good fit.&nbsp; The rest is fine. That's my big worry.&nbsp; Glad you daughter likes NYU, academically it's an incredible school with so much international diversity!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1951466 Mon, 27 Aug 2018 12:20:02 +0000 UmmLila (Lisa) 1951466@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>College applications period is so stressful for the kids, and it doesn't make it any better that well-meaning people are constantly asking them about it. My daughter did all good efforts on hers, didn't get into the school she most wanted to attend and ended up going to the school I disliked the most on her list (NYU.) And you know what -- it's perfectly fine, she likes it, and is doing well academically and socially. Except for driving to Greenwich Village for college drop off day. That is not so fine. (My next Sunday.) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1951463 Mon, 27 Aug 2018 12:02:58 +0000 gryffin 1951463@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Nancy - thank you for your wise advice.&nbsp; Our music dept recommended taking a lesson.&nbsp; It's a done thing at least with brand and, as you know, good fit with the professor is the most important thing!&nbsp; Also it gives him a chance to form a personal connection and appropriate correspondence with those professors.&nbsp;My son is working with both his teachers, his teacher from middle school till present, and the principal tuba of our&nbsp; state symphony who also teaches at a conservatory and several colleges.&nbsp; They are choosing from the recommended solos/etudes and of course sight reading practice, scales etc.&nbsp; Thank god my son is very confident but it's still&nbsp;stressful.&nbsp; We have private guidance counseling so they will practice the interview part.&nbsp; On the music, my son loves to&nbsp;"perform" as soon as&nbsp;he starts to play he goes into&nbsp;"the zone."&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>Joy - other than our state school everything is 3.5 to 8 hr away.&nbsp; My son wants to go far enough to feel independent.&nbsp; I did this also and it was an excellent experience.&nbsp; I'm hoping for the 3.5 hr ones since we won't make it to many games (marching band)&nbsp;or concerts if he's 8 hr away.&nbsp; The cartoon dates to the late 80's.&nbsp; Squirrel pancake on the road labeled "poor squirrel decision" - PSD.&nbsp; My college friends spotted it on a dorm door at our 5 yr reunion.&nbsp; We thought it was hilarious.&nbsp; Up there with "bummer of a birth mark" - the target on the animals chest.&nbsp; We still refer to questionable decision making as "PSD's"!</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1951423 Mon, 27 Aug 2018 05:35:27 +0000 Anonymous 1951423@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Griffin, I love the Far Side but do not remember that cartoon<br /> Gryffin, I lovevyourvwriting and have been there tearing hair out over those college applications. We spent big bucks for out -of -state tuition but all ended well. My father., a true intellectual, always said that if you go away for college go far enough away that you can not come home on weekends. This is wise adivce and means a dependency on campus lif.e. You learn to be your own person. My sons and I chose colleges where we knew no one. It was a test of ability to make new friends. A good thing to realize in life. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1951403 Mon, 27 Aug 2018 02:30:08 +0000 NancyW 1951403@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gryffin, my husband has been hearing Conservatory auditions for decades. Students there do not always take a lesson with faculty - but he is a string player and does not know if the brass department does things differently.&nbsp; He advises that your son work with his present teacher to make sure that he is using his practice time effectively and that he practice as many hours a day as possible/healthy. He also learned, through his own auditioning, to never look over his shoulder at the 'competition'.Your son should walk in prepared to play his own audition, show that he knows his instrument and that he understands the music he is playing. These are the things that are truly in his hands. If he feels it would help,&nbsp; or if nerves are an issue (thank goodness for the blessed Type Bs) perhaps his teacher can help to arrange a 'mock audition' or an audition coaching with another local player. Good luck to you ALL - as you said - it feels so deeply personal. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1951321 Sun, 26 Aug 2018 15:00:07 +0000 gryffin 1951321@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Joy did you ever see the far side cartoon about “poor squirrel decisions?” </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1951234 Sat, 25 Aug 2018 22:17:50 +0000 Anonymous 1951234@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think students apply to CU for the cute bears that climb the trees. One bear toured the Stanley Hotel in Estes Park this week. They probably have the cute squirrels for snacks. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1951183 Sat, 25 Aug 2018 18:09:40 +0000 gryffin 1951183@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>BrieN - yes that’s exactly it. I don’t know of any other college applicant group, outside of the arts, where the admission process is so personal. Win or lose, you are personally chosen or rejected. They meet, teach you, looking to see if the potential for that special “bond” is there and it’s all filtered through how good you are. Yes or no, is deeply personal. In regular admissions it’s about the application. But in music or the arts it’s totally about you. The emotional stakes feel higher. On the flip side, no where else do you work one on one with the faculty all four years. You can’t get lost in the music department. Like your house in hogwarts it’s your home.<br /> That’s very astute about the safe school. There is one program which is rolling which does not require audition. Although, as you know, we need to set up a lesson to assess fit. In the end, that’s all I care about for him. If the fit is good he will be happy.<br /> Kudos for getting through it with your daughter!! Many thanks for the sage advice. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1951165 Sat, 25 Aug 2018 15:32:08 +0000 BrieN 1951165@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I remember the exciting and anxiety provoking days of college applications and acceptances. The performance piece of it adds a layer of cost/complexity/and yes anxiety that the regular admissions process doesn't have. It felt a lot more personal and competitive. </p> <p>The best piece of advice someone gave me was have your kid apply to a safety school that 1) they could be happy at and has good programs in the subjects they are interested in 2) you can definitely afford and 3) has rolling admissions. And possibly 4) where your child could play the tuba without having to audition for a spot. </p> <p>That way your family knows early on that your child has a good option--not the one he is dreaming of but a good option. </p> <p>In our case it helped us immeasurably to know in October that she had a solid "yes" in her back pocket. And when she was slogging through auditions in Jamuary (or whenever they were) it helped keep the anxiety down. </p> <p>Parents and well-meaning adults start asking your child in November "so where are you going to school next year". Maddening. </p> <p>These kids continue to change and mature all through senior year, so it can feel a little like chasing a moving target to find a "good fit" school. </p> <p> Sending you peace!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1951135 Sat, 25 Aug 2018 12:06:06 +0000 gryffin 1951135@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Donna&nbsp; - thank you.&nbsp; I've been on collegeconfidential and tubanet and everywhere else I could find.&nbsp; My son is only applying to 7 schools because he will need to audition in person at each.&nbsp; And you are so right, going, meeting the professor, taking a lesson, meeting the kids, seeing the facilities - there is no substitute.&nbsp; We crossed one school off the list after the visit.<br />Jenn - I think for most kids,&nbsp; as Barbara Diane points out, there are a lot of schools that would be a good fit.&nbsp; For my DS it's all about the relationship with the tuba professor.&nbsp; That needs to be a good fit.&nbsp; That's my big anxiety, every university has a good psych program.<br />Lisa - thank you.&nbsp; You are a total sweetheart as always.&nbsp; I'm so glad Canadians have college "in perspective."&nbsp; It seriously makes me want to move!!&nbsp; I've been told this is a total american gig, the big freak out!&nbsp; Oh well being type A does not help.&nbsp; Fortunately my son is a huge Type B extrovert......"what ever......."</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1951057 Fri, 24 Aug 2018 20:37:05 +0000 Anonymous 1951057@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hope it all works out, gryffin! &nbsp;I'm so thankful this isn't a Canadian "thing". My biggest problem (and only involvement ) is paying the tuition , lol. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1951052 Fri, 24 Aug 2018 20:28:17 +0000 Jenn 1951052@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hah! My son hasn't even decided for sure where he wants to apply yet. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1950988 Fri, 24 Aug 2018 15:39:43 +0000 DonnaF 1950988@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>For sanity go to collegeconfidential dot com. Especially the parents forum. Avoid the chances forum. IIRC people recommend music auditions at the school vs regional ones. Many kids decide their school based on the cuteness of its squirrels. . . </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1950926 Fri, 24 Aug 2018 11:56:19 +0000 gryffin 1950926@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Joy - applications are online now.&nbsp; Most of the portals open sept 1 or so.&nbsp; The goal is to be ready to submit when the gate opens.&nbsp; Only then can we access the supplemental music school applications.&nbsp; Auditions are late, the earliest is November and most are January 2019.&nbsp; Tuba is considered a "scholarship instrument."&nbsp; Both merit based and there are, if you can believe it, athletic scholarships for the marching band.&nbsp; I'd be thrilled if he just gets into his top picks, but hey money would be way nice!!</p> <p>Style Fan - thank you.&nbsp; That's a whole other issue.....recommendations!!&nbsp; Like popping the question at the high school level!!&nbsp; As much as you think or know the teacher loves you, it's always tough to do.&nbsp; That must be very difficult, waiting to hear where your favorite students are going, but being both unable and afraid to ask.&nbsp; Yikes!!</p> <p></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1950896 Fri, 24 Aug 2018 09:08:06 +0000 Style Fan 1950896@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good luck to your son gryffin.&nbsp; Stressful times indeed.&nbsp; Wise words Barbara Diane.&nbsp; There are many paths in life.</p> <p>I have written many references letters for students applying to graduate schools (I teach in a graduate program and some of the students go on to Masters and Ph.D. programs).&nbsp; I never ask them if they got in but I am very happy for them when they are accepted.&nbsp; Anxious times. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1950863 Fri, 24 Aug 2018 03:11:59 +0000 Anonymous 1950863@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I had heard that the tuba is considered a "rare" instrument and can bring a big college scholarship if they need one. I am amazed that all this is happening during the senior year. My sons had to meet deadlines and make these decisions their junior years. Senior year was too late. This was 15-20 years ago. The summer before the junior year was spent touring colleges and writing those essays as many application deadlines were that fall. If unsure, a good community or junior ( 2-year) college can be a good way to start. The drawback is that most students are locals so no campus life.<br /> I want some valve oil for softer hands and feet. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1950856 Fri, 24 Aug 2018 02:45:25 +0000 gryffin 1950856@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Runcarla - yes exactly. It’s a well kept secret that no oil is as luxe and emollient as valve oil. Except “space filler”. Have you tried it on your cuticles?<br /> Windchime- I have only one word for you “man-bag” ok maybe “murse”. I’m still hoping DS will be trending next fall!!<br /> Best of luck to you and your son!! I hope he finds the perfect fit and here’s hoping we can maintain or sanity and sense of humor!!<br /> Pat - congrats to you and DD!! IKR I agree it will all work out for the best. But from one who reads the last chapter of a book first....it’s a long wait!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1950853 Fri, 24 Aug 2018 02:37:56 +0000 gryffin 1950853@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Danusia - thank you. It’s scary but this is taking so much time it’s cut into my internet fashion browsing. If that sacrifice is not love, then I don’t know what is!<br /> Kerry - thank you. You are such a sweetheart. Enjoy age 8! Such a perfect age -so delicious!!<br /> Efbgen- yes that’s exactly it. It’s become so much more competitive. It’s extremely competitive for performance majors because so few spots. But no kid has it easy. Very tough.<br /> Barbara Diane - very wise words!! My son has many friends and their plans are very diverse. As you so insightfully point out, life is all about finding your perfect fit - jobs, passions, spouses. Life is full of surprises and all the better for it!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1950852 Fri, 24 Aug 2018 02:03:14 +0000 Pat_P 1950852@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can relate- we just went through it last year. Lots of anxiety through the process, including dd applying to two schools at the last minute that she'd never even seen. In the end, they were two of the three schools she liked the best and she will be attending one of them next month. So there's a lot to be said for trusting your gut. Good luck as you move through your son's senior year! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1950838 Fri, 24 Aug 2018 00:26:58 +0000 Windchime 1950838@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gryffin, thanks for the laugh! College application as this year’s IT bag. I can relate to that but don’t think my DS 18 would. </p> <p>Good luck to your son. Everything will work out as it should, but it’s hard for high school kids to see that. </p> <p>It’s college application year for us, too. It’s certainly going to be an interesting year! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1950818 Thu, 23 Aug 2018 23:18:44 +0000 Carla 1950818@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Can valve oil be used as a beauty product?</p> <p>(Wise words Barbara Diane.) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1950766 Thu, 23 Aug 2018 18:59:09 +0000 Barbara Diane 1950766@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So funny! And true.</p> <p>First of all, this is for those with kids planning on going away to college. Not going to college, going to trade school, going to local junior colleges, serving our country, etc are all valid choices. </p> <p>For all of those not trying to study with a specific teacher this is what I have learned.</p> <p>1. There are many wonderful colleges out there. Try to get a great fit for your kid, not necessarily the most prestigious name.<br /> 2. If the college isn’t the right fit, they can change schools.<br /> 3. Students often love the schools they didn’t have their heart set on.<br /> 4. The best essays have their unique voice in them.<br /> 5. If necessary bring in help. One of my kids was so over the process but could not see the major problem with one of his essays. When someone else besides us insisted he couldn’t send it in, he listened.<br /> 6. The numbers game is rigged and based on fear. Each college wants to show how selective it is by it’s small acceptance rate. So everyone applies to more colleges, the colleges reject more applicants, rinse and repeat.</p> <p>Senior year can be hard. Pressure, anxiety and stress. Waiting for responses is hard. Having your future up in the air is hard. Having everyone ask you about your college choices, acceptances, etc. is hard. Try to be your kid’s port in the storm. Take time to breathe and get fresh air.</p> <p>Do not assume everyone else’s kid is going to college. It is better to ask if they know yet what they are doing after high school. That way everything from yes to not yet is an acceptable answer.</p> <p>Ok. Off my soapbox. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1950763 Thu, 23 Aug 2018 18:38:52 +0000 Anonymous 1950763@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Too bad you are only editing. With your talent for writing...........<br /> Don’t envy parents and students these days. Back in 99 my DD was total package but only wanted 1 school- early decision meant no money. The wait was horrendous.<br /> Now you can be the total package and it still won’t be enough.<br /> Good luck to both you and son. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1950754 Thu, 23 Aug 2018 18:06:31 +0000 kerry 1950754@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That is hilariously written. Thanks for the laugh and I’m sure I’ll remember your sage works when years from now I’m helping 8 yo DD with applications! Good luck! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/anyone-else-losing-it-over-college-applications#post-1950752 Thu, 23 Aug 2018 18:06:05 +0000 Anonymous 1950752@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I feel for you! I am glad those days are over, though DD was pretty good with her application and essay (she also proofread her friends' essays).</p> <p>I highly recommend shopping as therapy! </p>