https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1 Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 29 Apr 2026 15:58:34 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1/page/2#post-1545815 Wed, 26 Aug 2015 04:58:28 +0000 elpgal 1545815@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes to<br /> - you look sophisticated<br /> - you will be perceived as being older than your age<br /> - that is just fine </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1/page/2#post-1545637 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 23:42:24 +0000 Caro in Oz 1545637@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Agree 100% with Gaylene. You are beautiful :)</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1/page/2#post-1545597 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 22:32:24 +0000 Anonymous 1545597@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bella, you are a beautiful woman. I think that you are strong enough to do what you want. Just a story: A neighbor went completely grey very young with young children and another on the way. She kept her grey color but was unhappy when taken for her children's grandmother rather than their mother even though her face and body were young. You may run into the same thing. Know that you are supported here and will probably also be supported by your family and friends when they get used to it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1/page/2#post-1545572 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 21:56:50 +0000 MsMaven 1545572@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Re comments of others who say someone looks older, would it be too rude to say, "I'd rather look older than dead!"</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1/page/2#post-1545523 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 21:01:01 +0000 kerlyn 1545523@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with everyone here that your color is beautiful! &nbsp;But I understand completely about having to spend time styling it to make it look its best. &nbsp;That's where I'm at too. &nbsp;I'm only about 10% gray right now, and I'm sort of wishing it would come in more dramatically. &nbsp;My grandma had a gorgeous silver streak right in front that framed her face. &nbsp;</p> <p>Right now I'm just focusing on keeping it healthy and trying out different styles. &nbsp;I of course like it best when blown out straight and sleek or curled into soft waves. &nbsp;But that doesn't happen every day, so I'm trying to find some pretty, casual styles that don't require too much work or heat styling.</p> <p>Good luck on your journey. &nbsp;There's quite a few of us here who can relate and hopefully provide some support and ideas!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545499 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 20:00:18 +0000 Gaylene 1545499@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>First of all, you are a beautiful woman--no doubt about that!</p> <p>Second, as an adult woman, YOU, and ONLY YOU, get to make the decisions about your appearance. Dye your hair, get a tatoo, wear mid-thigh skirts, chop off all your hair--or do the exact opposite--it's your decision and nobody else's. Friendly advice is fine--as long as the speaker realizes you are under no obligation to follow it--but criticizing your choice is not--and that extends to family, significant others, friends, and bosses. </p> <p>Finally, to anyone who comments that your chosen hair color or style makes you "look older", i suggest "Great! Better than looking juvenile" as a retort. Ageism, even disguised as "helpful advice", is still ugly and those who adopt it need to be made aware of it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545458 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 18:36:25 +0000 deb 1545458@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bella, your hair is absolutely stunning. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545426 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 18:03:12 +0000 JAileen 1545426@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Your hair looks great, of course. I went grey two years ago, but I'm older than you - my baby is in his 20s! Almost everyone was supportive, especially my husband. The only exception was my husband's family, oddly enough. My sister in law who is just slightly older than me said she did not like it AT ALL, and my mother in law said she thought I was embarrassed by it. It was a strange comment for sure. I think people's negative comments are actually a reflection of their own insecurities. My hair is practically white in front, so far greyer than most people my age. But I like it, and I joke about it too. When I see another person with grey hair I say I've joined their club and they're the president and I'm the vice president. I also say I have highlights, but they're free! Anyway, just brush off those negative comments knowing that you really do look fab. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545396 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 17:12:50 +0000 Echo 1545396@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I absolutely agree that your hair is beautiful. The salt and pepper combination is just what many people wish they had while greying. You look fabulous.</p> <p>And I also agree that the comments that other people make say more about them than they do about you. Many people are threatened by greying hair - either because it reminds them of their own age or because you don't conform to whatever standards they have in their head for who or what you are (mother, woman under 50, daughter, wife, etc.). Many women are delighted to tear down stereotypes in other ways, and I think the more women with natural hair there are, the less judgement there will be overall for women in general. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545380 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 16:40:09 +0000 MsMaven 1545380@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Your hair looks great with your coloring. I hope you continue to do whatever it is <u>you</u> want to do.</p> <p>The last couple of years before I began to stop coloring my hair was dry and the ends broke off. Worse, I would get terrible tangles and snarls in my hair despite conditioners. I still have some highlighted hair to grow out, but the condition of my hair is much better, back to the silky shiny way it used to be.&nbsp;</p> <p>I do think part of the problem is from aging--I suspect that older hair doesn't have the same strength to hold up to coloring and hair drying that younger hair does. Still, it's getting to be nice to get my real hair all the way back.<u></u> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545294 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 14:57:32 +0000 texstyle 1545294@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bella, I think your hair looks lovely this natural color - in fact it's much more interesting than when you were coloring it in my eyes. Your skin and eye coloring are so well suited to it too. </p> <p>Coloring hair often leads to a sort of one shade unless you can spend a lot of time/money with special highlights and low lights. </p> <p>I can't imagine what I'd feel like if my DH and others didn't "approve" of my natural color. I've never had anyone suggest I should cover my grays so I'm not sure what I'd say or think if they did.&nbsp; I think I might be tempted tell them exactly what I didn't care for about their own style choices. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545284 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 14:40:00 +0000 catgirl 1545284@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bella, you and your hair look 100% amazing. The grow out process and the comments are tiresome, but I rarely care now because the benefits and ease are so nice. I see your greys are a bit wild like mine! Enjoy that little one. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545275 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 14:28:00 +0000 Word Lily 1545275@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You are beautiful, and I love your hair! I'm sorry you're not getting support for your decision from those around you, though; that's frustrating.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545259 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 14:13:43 +0000 Vix 1545259@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bella, I have to run to work but as a brunette who just decided to stop coloring YOU'RE INSPIRING!!</p> <p>You may need to add/change a few products to maximize it but it looks beautiful to me. Heat styling is tough on more fragile grey hair (as it is for wavy/curly hair).</p> <p>More later, sorry you're not getting IRL support. <b>I do think young baby/young face/grey hair freaks people out a bit </b>but lots of things freak people out. ;)</p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545246 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 14:00:01 +0000 Angie 1545246@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great to see you, Bella. Don't be a stranger!&nbsp;</p> <p>I'll reiterate what I wrote in my post:</p> <p><i>"You shouldn’t feel pressured to colour your greying hair if you don’t want to. Just like you shouldn’t feel pressured to stop dyeing your hair if you prefer sporting a colour other than your own. Personal style is exactly that: Personal. And thanks to modern fashion, grey and colour are now both equally viable options".</i></p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="http://youlookfab.com/2015/07/13/beautifully-grey/">http://youlookfab.com/2015/07/13/beautifully-grey/</a></p> <p>I get angry when others look down on either hair strategy. People need to stop their unfair judgements and get on with it.</p> <p>Your grey hair looks lovely - no doubt about it. There is room for a spunkier 'do though. I've met you in person and you have spunk! I'm going to be a spanner and suggest a cheekier cut to accompany the gorgeous water colour of grey and brown. That will provide a more fashionable juxtaposition with your ladylike and modern classic style (if that's still the same?). You have enviable cheek bones and BEAUTIFUL big brown eyes - and the way your hair waves at the moment seems to cover up - even over power - those stunning features.</p> <p>Bella, I'm the only one who has this opinion, so do take it for what it is worth to you. And much love to you too. I miss you on YLF.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545236 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 13:43:19 +0000 Beth Ann 1545236@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Love your new hair, Bella.&nbsp; I do my own hair color at home, to help with the expense.&nbsp; As I'm mostly grey in the crown, this is still working (It's hard to get the back very well on my own), but it is a messy pain to work with, and I'm limited in shades.&nbsp; Your grey is well distributed throughout your hair, and looks soft and "deliberate" in the same sense that autumn leaves grow brighter "deliberately."</p> <p>As for your mom:&nbsp; I think parents have great difficulty with their children growing older.&nbsp; My usual positive mom had a negative reaction to the bob you see in my profile pic -- she seems to really want me to remain long haired, as if preserving the sense of me being a "young" woman.</p> <p>This look is flattering and interesting.&nbsp; Salt and pepper is a multidimensional look that adds softness and interest. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545219 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 13:08:52 +0000 BethT 1545219@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Your family and friends are nuts...your hair is Gorgeous! &nbsp;That's exactly what I want my gray to look like, but it doesn't even come close. &nbsp; Honestly, I just think it's gorgeous!</p> <p>I do understand about having to upkeep it more so it doesn't look frumpy because that is where I am with my crazy grays. &nbsp;But maybe if you stay gray you can play with it and find that weekend hair that is casual and easy, but not frumpy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545217 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 13:05:32 +0000 Thirkellgirl 1545217@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you look absolutely lovely. It's still counterculture to let your hair be its natural color, which is partly why I'm into that. As for your mom... I read a book called something like "Are You Wearing That?" which was a sociologist's take on the mother-daughter relationship. The author posited that mothers have a vested interest in their daughter's presenting themselves the best possible way, and that that is why the hair issue is legendarily fraught between mothers and daughters. Your developmental task at this juncture is to do what you think is best for you, and let your mom's opinion go. Easier said than done, I know. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545213 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 12:58:23 +0000 Janet 1545213@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bella, it's so great to see you again! I hope you are having a wonderful time with your baby. :-)</p> <p>I think you look gorgeous with your natural hair. You have beautiful features and skin, too. If I let my hair go undyed, I think I might have just a little less grey than you do, and my hair is also naturally wavier/frizzier than yours. But I'm comfortable with continuing to dye for now. I'm also a bit older than you, so if I let my hair go, it would go a lot further in making me "look older" unfortunately. ;-)</p> <p>But as I said in Viva's thread on this topic, I am dismayed by how many people think it's appropriate to voice disapproval of someone's decision to stop dyeing their hair -- especially a busy, new mom! I'm sorry the people in your life are not being more supportive. I know it would make me mad if someone told me "I don't like your hair dark like that -- you should stop putting chemicals on your head." It's my head, I'll do as I please with it. I know I'll feel the same if I face criticism when I decide to stop coloring my hair. </p> <p>Bottom line: you need to do what you feel is best for you at this stage of your life. I agree with Aliona that it's a good idea to listen to the feedback of a boss and/or life partner, but ultimately the choice is yours. The more women who choose to buck the standard of chasing the grey away, the more the societal norm is open to change, and that's a good thing. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545207 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 12:46:47 +0000 Jaime 1545207@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bella you look beautiful and I include your hair. But it is not easy being grey haired when the society around you and your close family is not supportive and not really used to the idea of grey hair as a legitimate style choice. People judge each other at a glance, and a glance of grey hair will give an older impression than (successfully) dyed hair. There is no question in my mind about that.</p> <p>In my limited experience, younger (than me) people are more likely to be fans and older (than me) people are more likely to be threatened by my hair. Your mileage may vary :-).&nbsp;</p> <p>But I do agree with all of Claudia's points - as they apply to me. My hair grows fast, tend to be dry and dye irritates my scalp. Running around with grey roots, hair too warm for my complexion, and dry, unhealthy hair was not fab at all. But I do have my moments when I wonder what it would be like to be a bit more conventionally haired. Hope this helps! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545198 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 12:33:37 +0000 Anonymous 1545198@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow! Your hair is *beautiful*. Stunning in every way--including its gorgeous wave. You have the perfect shade to go grey gradually with style. And paired with your beautiful skin tone: well, you're a head turner. </p> <p>All I can say is, you have some rather rude people in your life (family members excepted, they have a right to speak their minds because we have a right to speak back and not listen to their 'advice'). i agree with the points made above that their comments are about their feelings and perspectives, including how they feel it reflects on their own age. There are probably just as many polite people around you who are admiring your look but feel it would be rude to say something, so they keep their admiration to themselves. </p> <p>There are 2 people I'd listen to in your situation: a boss at work and a life partner. My own DH was very against my going grey, so I promised I'd revert to colour if it didn't look good. After all, he looks at me a lot more than I do. Well, he loves it. However, if I were looking for a new job, I'd probably colour again. </p> <p>One last point on your final pic: it is possible to achieve this look, but it does require bleach and that can be damaging. I think your hair looks great, so I'd leave it and love it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545194 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 12:28:22 +0000 Mona 1545194@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Here is my honest opinion. I think you look gorgeous in grey and from what I could gather from your WIW's, you have bucket loads of confidence to carry it. Now, the question of whether it makes you look older than you are? I think, grey hair does make a person look older than they are. Are you ok to accept that? If you are, then go ahead and rock that beautiful hair. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545190 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 12:22:52 +0000 Suz 1545190@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bella, your hair looks beautiful, and so do you. I agree with the earlier comments. I'm sad that those around you are not supportive, but I respectfully beg to disagree with their views. I think you look glowing and fresh, and your natural greys complement your dancing eyes.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545183 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 11:59:27 +0000 viva 1545183@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Your hair is beautiful! I love the color(S!) and the cut, and it really suits you. It's so hard when those around you aren't encouraging ... but I love it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545173 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 11:47:53 +0000 LucyRose 1545173@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Dear Bella, I really appreciate your decision to go grey gracefully. It is really nice to see a woman who is confident to do that. I just like the natural look which accepts the change and makes it beautiful.&nbsp;</p> <p>Thanks for sharing about your journey. I remember trying to convince my own mother to stay grey. In the end she began to colour and I love it, but I would have thought her beautiful any way she chose.&nbsp;</p> <p>Also, I am so glad you have a baby! How exciting!</p> <p>Thanks for sharing these thoughts.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545167 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 11:36:17 +0000 Claudia 1545167@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hello, Bella. I hope that you keep your natural hair. I have <b>always</b> thought in seeing you on YLF that you are beautiful - pre baby and today. I think you have a beautiful head of hair that will only get better and better with the passing of time, just like your mom's. In another ten years or so I am confident that you will be the secret and open envy of your slave-to-hair-dyeing peers that wish they could stop and/or had never started covering the grays. You will have already weathered the hard transition from dye job to natural color; your hair and scalp are, and will continue to be, healthy; and you will look completely "purposeful"* and genuine. As Gaylene wrote on another thread:</p> <p><i>I think I'd prefer a "too young a face as compared to my hair" comment than a "too old a face for my hair" one. </i></p> <p>Think of all the money and time you will have saved and continue to save.</p> <p>Avoiding toxic chemicals absorbed into your body and flushed down the drain into the environment.</p> <p>Dark dyed hair with gray roots showing between appointments.&nbsp;</p> <p>Chemically damaged hair, that is flat in tone, dry and lifeless compared to one's untreated locks.</p> <p>* The "on purpose" thing cracks me up, along with needing to be a certain percentage gray thing to carry it off. I think it is something that hairdressers say to hook women into starting the expensive need to start coloring, because once you start, it is so much harder to stop. Most men would never buy into that "logic."</p> <p>I agree with the other replies that the negative comments are about what's going on internally with those people.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545165 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 11:25:57 +0000 Sheila 1545165@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Bella </b>your hair is <b>GORGEOUS</b> ! How could you ever get such a unique cool color in a salon. It is a lovely cool mix that is impossible to get either from a box ... AND if you get it from the salon it is faded in 2 weeks. </p> <p>I think it is lovely as is... I would NOT add blonde to it- I think the yellow with clash with the current color(s)- to0 warm.</p> <p>Positives: Nice wave, Tons of Hair, Great Color- perfect for your skin</p> <p>Negatives : None</p> <p>You might try playing around with some of the curly girl no-poo methods. Also a pro blow out can last for days... weeks even. When Julia Roberts gets her hair done ... she leaves it for TWO WEEKS ! You have enough hair that it is not going to look greasy. Use a shine spray... </p> <p>Lip is perfect... even if you are wearing disposable clothes.. wear colors that make you pop...&nbsp;Wear color...&nbsp;Silver jewelery...</p> <p>I know this... people say " I'd stop coloring if my hair looked like yours", "You can get away with it, not everyone can". My sisters have told me that they hate grey hair. Whatever... I see great gray and unkept gray and I see great color and color that I would not&nbsp;put on my dog...</p> <p>Enjoy your baby...keep your smile on... life is good and you&nbsp;look fab !&nbsp;</p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545161 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 11:08:04 +0000 Belladogga 1545161@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You look lovely with your salt and pepper hair! &nbsp;You don't look old - you look like a woman who is very confident in her own skin. &nbsp; I agree with Jeweled that your critics' reactions have more to do with themselves and their hair choices than with you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545148 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 10:24:07 +0000 Helen11 1545148@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Bella. Congratulations on your baby! I'm newer here and I know what you mean about parenting being a time consuming business.<br /> I think your hair looks fab. You have beautiful thick hair and i personally love the salt and pepper look. I have a friend who has never coloured her hair, and she's had grey strands since her early 30s. (I still colour mine, no idea how much grey there is)<br /> I'm sorry to hear you haven't had any support for your decision.<br /> I really don't know much about hair, but surely you have done the hardest part of the transition to natural hair.<br /> Natural hair well cared for looks far better than regrowth.....<br /> If you like it, keep it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/another-going-gray-post-1#post-1545145 Tue, 25 Aug 2015 10:05:07 +0000 Ankita 1545145@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi there Bella, I love your name...I honestly do... I think it's one the prettiest names out there... and match that with this gorgeous face of yours and you have a killer combination...so ya, there you go! ☺</p> <p>I think grey hair suits you and no I don't think it's aging you. I like how it looks against your skin &amp; complexion... and I also love love love the minimalistic makeup you have on with that pop of color on the lip - veryyyyyyy beautiful! ❤ </p> <p>Congrats on the baby...enjoy motherhood and don't let people's criticism bother you - that's what I suggest in all honesty.</p> <p>And I agree with Deborah, maybe look for a haircare product that nourishes your hair. Maybe even try a few hairstyles here &amp; there, experiment with looks and lengths ☺</p> <p>Bottom-line...You are beautiful! ❤ </p>