https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-using-she-in-a-persons-presence Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 10 May 2026 01:54:58 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-using-she-in-a-persons-presence#post-75491 Sun, 28 Jun 2009 16:59:45 +0000 tarzy 75491@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am a lover of words and language too (although I fear my public school education was not the greatest.) </p> <p>The internet has invented a whole new language that doesn't follow the "normal" rules of grammar (2 be sure, LOL! u know?) </p> <p>As Kristen pointed out so well, there's a big difference between speaking in person, and words on a page (website). People cant pick up inflection or body language when they read read words, and so many times you think you're posting something hilarious, but your readers don't "get it," and it comes across as mean spirited (or just flat and dull - which for a writer is almost worse!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-using-she-in-a-persons-presence#post-75487 Sun, 28 Jun 2009 16:46:46 +0000 Kristen 75487@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh gosh, of course you didn't offend me, Angie! I'm glad you made me stop and think about why I had said in that way. I don't actually recall ever using "she" in a forum setting like this before, and it made look back at why I did. </p> <p>I'm a bit of a language-nut too, so I understand your fascination! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-using-she-in-a-persons-presence#post-75483 Sun, 28 Jun 2009 16:33:15 +0000 Angie 75483@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No worries, Kristen. I'm not offended at all, and I hope that I have not offended you. Once again, I find the language variation between American-English and British-English fascinating. YLF is a global place so I’m comfortable discussing subtle nuances in language and behaviour between all cultures. It’s all good :0) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-using-she-in-a-persons-presence#post-75450 Sun, 28 Jun 2009 11:02:00 +0000 Kristen 75450@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Since I was the originating, er, "offender" of using the term in the thread (I know, Angie, you didn't mean it to criticize) I thought I should explain how I thought I was using it. In my mind I wasn't as much speaking about Angie *in front of* Angie, as I was making an aside comment to Shiny. I suppose I should have put it all in parentheses to better depict my intentions, which can be tough to get across online. </p> <p>Hunh. I've been thinking over when I do this, and I do use "she" in aside comments while "she" in question is there, but it's usually done for comical effect, which is what I was going for here. In a face-to-face conversation, I would have exaggeratedly put my hand over my mouth, fake-aiming my words to Shiny, knowing full well that Angie was right there and probably looking at her while I did it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-using-she-in-a-persons-presence#post-75436 Sun, 28 Jun 2009 05:38:53 +0000 Angie 75436@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it’s a cultural thing. My nephew who is 10 goes to school in London and he is not allowed to address anyone by a pronoun at any time. For example, he has to refer to his “Opa” (which means grandfather in Dutch, and that’s my Papa) as “Opa” at ALL times, whether Opa is present or not. It’s just the way the language is taught – the same way it was taught to me. It’s very interesting. </p> <p>I don’t whether it’s changed in Dutch, but when I learnt Dutch, the same language etiquette applied. No pronouns when you were a child, and no pronouns in anyones presence. Perhaps it’s not like that anymore. When I ask my Dad about it, he says in utter disgust that Dutch has become extremely informal, but he doesn’t know how it’s taught in school at the moment. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-using-she-in-a-persons-presence#post-75363 Sat, 27 Jun 2009 22:10:56 +0000 Ana 75363@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Marlene, my husband (British) has given up on ordering hot tea in a restaurant. :D</p> <p>I never thought about referring to someone as "she" in front of them. I'm not sure if I do it or not. I probably do, although, I do think that even in America, it is considered to be more polite to talk about someone who is right there by name. It might be one of those grammatical/manners things that is changing in modern times. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-using-she-in-a-persons-presence#post-75323 Sat, 27 Jun 2009 19:00:21 +0000 Anonymous 75323@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My grandmother, from England, used that same expression all the time...since we offspring were CONSTANTLY using "she" in front of the referenced person! She, my grandmother, also was in a constant tizzy about how no-one could make a PROPER cup of tea. There were lots of moments where my grandmother would be instructing some poor waiter in the way she would be recieving her cup of tea. Grandma would also not allow us to wear jeans in front of her. Growing up, I was in a constant cultural clash! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-using-she-in-a-persons-presence#post-75322 Sat, 27 Jun 2009 18:49:49 +0000 tarzy 75322@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just posted the same thing in the original thread. My mother, who was English, used to say that all the time to me - "'She' is the cat's mother." </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-using-she-in-a-persons-presence#post-75319 Sat, 27 Jun 2009 18:44:46 +0000 April 75319@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>(Didn't want to hijack the "let's challenge Angie" thread with this response to your comment, but I find these linguistic differences interesting as well.)</p> <p>I was also taught never to use a pronoun to refer to a person who was present. In my family, that was almost as punishable an offense as using bad language to an adult. </p> <p>I hadn't thought about it as a cultural thing, but perhaps it's because my grandmother was British that that's how she taught my mother. My grandmother's response, should anyone use the word "she" in front of the person in question, was to ask rather tartly, "Who's 'she' ? The cat's mother?" (Is that a known expression or just an odd thing my grandmother used to say?) </p>