https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 21 Apr 2026 05:35:13 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-691643 Sun, 12 Aug 2012 02:11:10 +0000 velvetychocolate 691643@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I hate to bring this back up again, but I just wanted to say that I think this was just a matter of a thread being closed down only because the discussion got a bit uncomfortable or heated, and that it's nothing more than that. </p> <p>Everyone gets a bit passionate about things once in awhile, and I'd like to think that this is really all there is to it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-691285 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 18:14:10 +0000 Kate 691285@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm very sorry LaF is gone. I enjoyed reading her comments. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-691018 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 13:19:44 +0000 Janet 691018@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>IK, I couldn't agree more. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-690852 Sat, 11 Aug 2012 03:35:15 +0000 ironkurtin 690852@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am not convinced LF was a troll (I work in games and our trolls are so much worse rhan LF ever was) and as Angie points out LF is no longer online to defend herself. My spider sense was triggered by various statements as well, but it is certainly possible that not everyone who posts on YLF is mentally or emotionally balanced. I suggest we err on the side of kindness, since LF is gone? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-690523 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 21:09:51 +0000 DeniseP 690523@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is first time I've witnessed such a thing on a forum, and somewhat confused.<br /> Was LF not a real person,but a fake one? This is wild to me...who would think up such nonsense? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-690158 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 15:40:19 +0000 mrseccentric 690158@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>rachylou said: " My spidey sense was going off too. But I drew a blank for responses."</p> <p>Well, since Rule #1 of forii is 'Don't Feed The Trolls', you did the best thing But you can always send a pm to the mods - that's what they are here for.</p> <p> Lord knows i am utterly shameless when it comes to singing the praises of Angie and Greg But even they can't be everywhere on the forum. And trolls can be very smooth in their presentation, to where a person could easily miss the one or two comments where they contradict their story, for example. You don't have to accuse someone outright, just saying "this thread seems to be getting overly emotional to me? maybe take a look?" or whatever can be enough to tip off sensible mods, and A &amp; G go way beyond sensible.</p> <p>Like Traci, i've seen boards crash and burn over this type of thing, and i've seen people swindled too. So i was very impressed by how many forum members stepped up to the plate and really acted as 'mods' themselves in this situation. I can't begin to name the number of members who took the time to let LaF know that she was welcome, that the board welcomes thoughtful discussion of controversial or difficult topics, that she was welcome to participate at whatever level she felt comfortable with, etc.</p> <p>Also, bear in mind that mods take actions which they cannot discuss publicly or privately with other forum members. If you don't know the full story, the health of the board is the best indicator that the mods are doing a great job. Yay!</p> <p>Here are a couple of good intro articles on avoiding this kind of unpleasantness on internet forii:</p> <p><a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/TechFaqs/What-is-an-Internet-troll.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.fertilityfriend.com.....troll.html</a></p> <p>another good intro - i disagree with calling out a board member as an agitator on the forum, but otherwise good info:</p> <p><a href="http://www.webroot.com/En_US/consumer/tips/you-cant-win-an-argument-with-a-troll-" rel="nofollow">http://www.webroot.com/En_US/c.....h-a-troll-</a></p> <p>Many thanks again to Angie and Greg and Rosie too! steph </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-690086 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 14:45:48 +0000 marianna 690086@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I missed most of the LF happenings but I did read a few of "her" forum posts and I was instantly suspicious and nervous. I am relieved that Angie and Greg were able to handle this so seamlessly before it spiraled out of control. Well done, dynamic duo! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-690067 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 14:32:12 +0000 Jonesy 690067@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A troll is someone who enters an online community solely to stir up trouble and cause a lot of conflict. Typically the person isn't a "real" person at all, but a character that someone is playing. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-690065 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 14:31:00 +0000 Anonymous 690065@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Spidey sense is just riffing on Spiderman, his Spidey sense warns him of danger or trouble.</p> <p>A troll is something who lives under a bridge and demands payment....no, really, a troll is someone who likes to incite and foment drama on message boards by being inflammatory or causing trouble, and escalating from there. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-690062 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 14:28:40 +0000 Isabel 690062@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ok. I didn't know what a "spidey" sense was and I don't know what a "troll" is ? Anyone ?please ? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-690025 Fri, 10 Aug 2012 14:05:28 +0000 lynne 690025@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you J for asking the question. I wondered,too. I read the first page or so of the thread and when my spidey senses started tingling I quit. I'd never seen a troll before on YLF. Thank you Greg and Angie for closing the thread. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-689180 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 17:37:02 +0000 MsMary 689180@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=spidey%20sense">Spidey Sense</a> = radar meter. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-689167 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 17:20:21 +0000 Anonymous 689167@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My spidey sense wasn't working apparently. Usually I can spot a troll from far away. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-689154 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 17:16:01 +0000 DeniseP 689154@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm out of the loop, Coco. What is spidey sense?</p> <p>I think I know, because my radar meter was spinning.</p> <p>Angie and Greg are wonderful examples of patience and kindness. Thank you guys. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-689068 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 16:16:11 +0000 rachylou 689068@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@Traci - My spidey sense was going off too. But I drew a blank for responses.</p> <p>@MaryK - Most concise! You're my role model now. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-688802 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 11:55:17 +0000 Anonymous 688802@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think the decision to close that thread was a wise one. The discussion was no longer productive, and some of us felt LF's tone came across as harsh and seemed as if she was looking for controversy. I don't think anyone attacked LF, though several of us pointed out that her tone was offensive. I actually got the feeling that nothing short of full and complete agreement with her views would have made her happy. Some people do like to feel like they're victims, even if they're actually not. I hope that nothing I posted was offensive, because that was never my intent. I tried to choose my words carefully. That said, I so very much want to move past this and go back to talking about fashion and style. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-688790 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 11:32:13 +0000 Traci 688790@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My Spidey sensors were going off as well. I had a little mantra of "don't feed the troll" running through my head for the last week. It's always a fine line between deciding to respond and feeding into the drama and ignoring the behavior which can also feed the drama. I'm proud of how this community and moderators handled everything. I was very distressed because I've seen situations like this destroy a forum. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-688719 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 06:55:40 +0000 CocoLion 688719@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I enjoyed reading La Francaise's thread about keeping to your budget, and has made me think once again about the quality vs. quantity question. At the same time, my spidey sense was way up. I didn't follow the latest, only up to page 4 of that thread. Even though I did not contribute to the thread, I felt a little badgered about my purchasing behavior, style, and taste in functional lingerie.</p> <p>So thank you Angie and Greg for closing the thread. I feel like being at YLF has not only given me better style and countless hours of happy entertainment and socializing ... it has also made me a better person! I am less judgmental, and more thoughtful because of YLF. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-688681 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 04:46:23 +0000 Nadya 688681@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Kari,<br /> Thanks for sharing that tip- both for crafting a written message and for receiving one. That's a really helpful tool! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-688675 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 04:24:10 +0000 Jamie 688675@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm so glad this has come up. I have not been a member for very long, but I love this place, and I was becoming increasingly distressed at what was happening, especially over the last week. As one of the "final few," I do apologize if my comments were offending. I had no issues with the topics of discussion, just with the way we were all being treated. I got a little riled up.</p> <p>Thank you, Greg and Angie, for making this a safe and comfortable place to be.</p> <p>Now, back to the fun stuff...fashion! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-688649 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 03:22:58 +0000 Kari 688649@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>While I only read the original thread but avoided commenting on it, I just wanted to say a couple things, and please know that these are just general comments not aimed as a criticism towards anyone.</p> <p>First of all, thank you to Angie and Greg for really striving to create a positive space where we can openly discuss on-and-off topic issues - especially for modeling respectful communication, and making sure to quell anything that crosses those boundaries. Part of the reason I've stuck around so long is because I'm amazed at how the YLF community works so well to encourage positive interaction and foster supportive relationships. </p> <p>I've seen an awful lot of other online forums that are rife with personal attacks/drama, or where the moderators have to be VERY heavy-handed to avoid negativity from spiraling out of control. While I know the two of you do a lot behind the scenes to make YLF work as well as it does, your IN-PERSON work of interacting with community members and modeling the type of communication you hope to see here is really effective. From my perspective you really are very careful about only closing threads that truly cross those boundaries - I can probably count the number of non-spam threads that I remember being closed on one hand.</p> <p>Second, just a tidbit I learned from a former life as a college "peer tutor", when some of my feedback was given via email instead of in person: It's very, very hard to convey tone accurately online. People generally tend to read online documents quickly and skim content, and sometimes can misinterpret an innocent word or comment as an attack.</p> <p>One method I used when I was crafting my feedback - as I wanted to be positive and encouraging, even if I was writing about suggestions or strategies for improvement - was to read everything I wrote in a moderately "angry" voice before sending it out. Now, I mostly read my writing in my head, but sometimes I used to even speak it out loud. </p> <p>It sounds silly, but for me this was a filter for identifying potential innocent remarks that might be taken as super harsh criticism. I can't say for sure that it always worked, but it helped me feel like I was at least trying to create a neutral tone when discussing something that could be improved. I wanted to balance professionalism and helpfulness with wanting the person I was working with to have a positive experience - and want to come back.</p> <p>I use the opposite strategy sometimes when I read terse communication online - blunt, one-line emails that a coworker forwards by cell phone; a "No thank you" letter from a potential employer. If I am feeling sensitive, I try to read the message instead in a more upbeat voice rather than in a flat or angry tone. It helps me from keeping my hackles rising too much - most of the time! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg/page/2#post-688630 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 02:58:26 +0000 MsMary 688630@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>And Angie and Greg? Are awesome! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg#post-688583 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 02:14:51 +0000 Gaylene 688583@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No apology needed, Zap. We all get riled up when we are defending something we love. But it has been an interesting week Now back to what we do best-- fashion and style! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg#post-688570 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 02:01:52 +0000 Anonymous 688570@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene, please allow me to apologize directly to you, if my comment was one of those that shocked you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg#post-688565 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 01:59:28 +0000 Gaylene 688565@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Jonesy, thanks for the response. While I had reservations about how she went about it, I did think that LF brought another dimension to the forum which I found interesting. She was provocative, but I was a bit shocked at some of the final comments on her thread before Greg shut it down. But, as Angie has requested, let's all move on. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg#post-688561 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 01:55:30 +0000 Aziraphale 688561@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Now I'm wildly curious and wish I'd read it, along with the comments! I did open the post in question this morning, but after a couple of sentences, I saw that it exceeded my maximum word count tolerance and stopped reading. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg#post-688552 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 01:47:14 +0000 Jonesy 688552@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene, I'm sorry if you felt like there were personal attacks against LF. I truly don't believe any longtime posters were trying to attack LF. As members who have made, typically, almost daily contributions to this forum for 2-3 years (or longer, in Laura's case), we do have an investment in it and want to help foster an open, warm community focused on style and fashion. As Isabel points out, we certainly do not shy away from political discussions related to fashion and style, but we do value certain norms of communicating. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg#post-688545 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 01:41:29 +0000 Jenniferblue 688545@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you all for your responses and for filling in the blanks about this out of the ordinary situation.<br /> While I respect decision to close the thread, I would be completely dishonest to if I didn't say that LF raised uncomfortable but important and serious issues. I won't soon forget this poster.<br /> OK on to fashion and trends......... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg#post-688544 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 01:39:00 +0000 velvetychocolate 688544@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I didn't read much of the thread in question - but I think it's normal that once in a (hopefully rare) while, a thread has to be closed. It's really only because a discussion has become a bit too heated and uncomfortable, and that's all it really is. Somehow, the discussion gets de-railed, people get hurt feelings, and things go a bit haywire. It doesn't sound like anyone got "banned" or anything of the kind, just a smart decision to close a thread that was going a bit weird. </p> <p>I think it was very wise to just close it. I don't think this means people can't talk about these issues in the future, but it was just this one particular thread where it was getting a bit too heated. </p> <p>I'm glad it was closed, and *not* because I didn't like the general idea behind the discussion, but because sometimes these things need to be done to keep things positive and helpful. </p> <p>Anyway, none of my business really - but I wanted to say "smart move" to Angie and Greg for closing that one particular thread. </p> <p>In the meantime, it was an excellent discussion topic - and I'm sure that we could all learn a few things from each other - it's just that sometimes a thread will go a bit weird, and sometimes it's necessary to close it. </p> <p>I wanted to post to that thread, but when things got a bit funny, I didn't feel comfortable. Like I said, great discussion and all kinds of interesting things to talk about ...but I think it helps to keep an open mind? </p> <p>Never mind all of that - suffice to say - good job on closing that thread - it was the right thing to do, given the circumstances. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/angie-and-greg#post-688543 Thu, 09 Aug 2012 01:38:58 +0000 Janet 688543@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just assumed she removed herself from the forum. It's a shame, since people weren't really disagreeing with her overall points, it's just that her tone was overly confrontational, and it seemed no answer except unqualified agreement would make her happy. </p>