https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 28 Apr 2026 01:20:25 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1115214 Mon, 16 Dec 2013 02:38:59 +0000 Janet 1115214@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think that's a great compromise. I hope you're feeling better about all of this very soon. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1114908 Sun, 15 Dec 2013 19:40:26 +0000 Louise 1114908@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I decided to decide on the day and go with my gut. I'd had an emotional weekend as he was best man at his friends wedding which we would have gone to together. I'm not that close to the friends but am Facebook friends with them so couldn't help but keep checking out the photos! It's like a sore tooth you can't help but keep poking with your tongue!<br /> In the end I posted a message on his Facebook wall. It seemed less personal than a text message and more 'oh look Facebook reminded me it's your birthday' I kept busy on the day and spent the evening with my nan who shares the same birthday x </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1112086 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 18:53:31 +0000 minimalist 1112086@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just seeing this now. How did this work out, Louise?</p> <p>XH used to send me birthday cards, started right away. He seemed to need to do that, to feel like everything was civil and ok and he was being the bigger person, while acting otherwise.</p> <p>It's a day you used to share with your ex, so maybe you can honor that by doing something especially comforting for yourself? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1107295 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 21:28:38 +0000 rae 1107295@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I <i>completely</i> agree with MaryK. No no no no no. Cut those strings and focus your energy on the future!</p> <p>There is nothing "wrong," no, but it is not moving you in the right direction. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1107138 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 18:05:02 +0000 ManidipaM 1107138@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I do rather agree with MaryK. If you think you can resist without dwelling on it, keep your distance virtually.</p> <p>However, if you think the thought will nag you like a sore tooth, send that text. Weirdly, in my experience, it can be a lightener.</p> <p>It really depends on how you FEEL. Either way. There is no other right or wrong. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1106754 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 03:10:13 +0000 celia 1106754@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Another vote for not doing it. Let's be honest, you only want to send a birthday message because you are still attached to him, if you were over him you probably wouldn't even remember.You will be expecting am answer from him that whatever it might be will open the door to a lot of heartache on your part. At this point why would you expose yourself to it?</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1106620 Sat, 07 Dec 2013 01:06:56 +0000 LACeleste 1106620@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Louise,</p> <p>Please don't. &nbsp;It's too soon.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1106493 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 22:53:01 +0000 crutcher 1106493@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If you were close enough for birthday wishes, you wouldn't be divorced..I agree with Mary K...leave Mr. X alone... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1106454 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 21:30:53 +0000 Anonymous 1106454@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree completely with MaryK.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1106437 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 21:19:10 +0000 scorp76 1106437@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with others. I wouldnt do it either </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1106420 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 21:02:41 +0000 Suz 1106420@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am with Mary -- you are too recently separated and this will only complicate things. Unless you do see him regularly already and have managed to be on cordial terms, I say let it be for now.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1106356 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 19:23:34 +0000 MsMary 1106356@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>In the early stages of a breakup, the developmental task in front of you is to break the attachment to your former partner.&nbsp; The easiest, fastest, and least painful (although still very very painful indeed) way to do this is to have no contact at all beyond that which is absolutely necessary to take care of any business matters that need to be resolved.&nbsp; </p> <p>Be strong.&nbsp; Don't do it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1106338 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 18:50:02 +0000 Anonymous 1106338@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have never sent my ex a birthday card. Just sayin'</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1106336 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 18:47:47 +0000 rachylou 1106336@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Only if you're still "doing business" sorting out financial matters or something. Otherwise, I'd chuck the ball and chain. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1106247 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 17:14:54 +0000 bj1111 1106247@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>skip it...it hasn't been that long since he broke your heart.&nbsp; do not send a "i want to get back together" message.&nbsp; this is per my husband...the guy perspective. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1106202 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 16:18:52 +0000 Diana 1106202@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmm, I think I might actually send an actual paper card - a generic one that just says "happy birthday", no funny, emotional, or personal message.&nbsp; There's less expectation or even ability for a response there.&nbsp; </p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1106189 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 15:58:13 +0000 ironkurtin 1106189@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>There is nothing wrong with sending someone a "wishing you a happy birthday" message, so long as you meant it and there are no strings attached. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1106155 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 15:08:29 +0000 Janet 1106155@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmm. At first I thought, "how bad could it be to send a simple happy birthday text?" but I see Zap's point. I think a lot depends on where you both are emotionally. If either one of you might be construing more into a message than a simple "I'm thinking of you on your birthday" (or the resulting responses or lack thereof) then maybe it's better left unsaid. </p> <p>It's so hard for me to say, because the longest relationship I ever had before I met my husband was two years, and that was when I was barely into my 20s. I definitely lacked the emotional maturity to have casual contact with my ex back then, but it may be very different for you. </p> <p>I think you need to be really honest with yourself about your motivations and whether you're still feeling raw enough that it's better to avoid contact. If both you and he are capable of viewing a text as a simple HBD wish and nothing more, then maybe it would do no harm. </p> <p>Either way, good luck to you. I know this is a hard time of year when you've experienced such a loss. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1106150 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 14:59:54 +0000 Anonymous 1106150@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No, bad idea, especially if you are heartbroken. Why put yourself in a situation where you might be upset if he does not respond or whatever.<br /> You can wish him Happy Birthday next year, when you will be OVER him </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1106145 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 14:54:29 +0000 Irene 1106145@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it's a nice touch in a 'I remember you' kind of text, but it does depend a lot on what terms you broke up, how long since that happened and how long your relationship lasted (which I recall being a very long term relationship).</p> <p>But if you remember him fondly, in a 'It didn't work out for us but he's a great person and has meant a lot for me for years', I think it's nice to say happy birthday. Just keep it a bit cool and nonchalant, lest he thinks you are going for something different. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1106069 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 13:18:55 +0000 Archer 1106069@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A text?&nbsp;&nbsp; On his birthday!? &nbsp;I wouldn't. &nbsp;<br />too dangerous....<br />&nbsp;It might lead to talking and then your friends would get sick of having to vote all the time wouldn't they? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1106030 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 11:24:46 +0000 Deborah 1106030@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it depends on what state your relationship is in. If you are on good terms then I think it would be a gracious gesture to wish him Happy birthday. In fact really, it's a nice thought regardless.n of you feel you would like to send him your best wishes, then do so:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-the-exs-birthday#post-1105987 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 08:31:42 +0000 Louise 1105987@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's the ex's birthday next week and I have a dilemma, I'm thinking of dropping him a text to wish him a happy birthday? So far friends and family have been evenly matched for and against, what do you guys think? X </p>