https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 28 Apr 2026 03:03:15 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward/page/2#post-1110233 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 00:50:39 +0000 Carla 1110233@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love this story, because I always like to believe the best of people. </p> <p>Now, I want for nothing financially, and would not blink at the cost of a bit of postage to return a lost item to its owner. If I got a handwritten thank you in response, I'd be chuffed. Being a fan of Starbucks, a $20. Gift certificate would be a bonus, and each time I got my fave coffee...maybe 3 or 4 times, it would be a reminder to me of the fact that my good deed was appreciated.</p> <p>BTW, the guy including his business card might have just been a way of him reaching out to connect. If he travels a lot, he could be a lonesome guy...on the other hand, he could have walked into his office and tossed the item to his assistant and asked him/her to take care of it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward/page/2#post-1106230 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 17:01:08 +0000 Isis 1106230@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Don't over think this Mochi. He included his contact number in case the package didn't reach your husband, or if your husband had further questions. &nbsp;Perhaps this info is added automatically to his email to.</p> <p>Something similar happened to me once. I returned an iPhone I found in a comfy chair at Starbucks. &nbsp;I turned it in to the counter, and continued to read in the chair. &nbsp;Sometime later, the owner tracked me down and handed me a SB card for a nominal amount. &nbsp;I thought it was sweet of him. &nbsp;Didn't feel like a reward, but like a token gesture, which was perfect.</p> <p>Send off the note and cards, thank the world for kind people and you are&nbsp;done. </p> <p></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward/page/2#post-1106149 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 14:58:22 +0000 Janet 1106149@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think the gift card is a good way to sidestep the "cash reward" idea. It's simply a gift -- a small token of appreciation. The thought that counts, so to speak.</p> <p>Oh, in response to your question about my husband getting things back that are left on planes, in hotel rooms, etc. -- he doesn't. I shudder to think how much money we have spent on replacement phone chargers, headphones, etc. He's even left jeans, cashmere sweaters, etc. in hotel rooms, although it should be said this happens when he's traveling without me, since I am a bit OCD about double checking before leaving. He can just be so absent-minded! Somewhere in our world there is a pair of expensive size 13 men's shoes (worn for his grandmother's funeral a year ago) that I am hoping turn up in one of his uncles' homes or something. Sigh. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward/page/2#post-1106120 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 14:27:47 +0000 Mochi 1106120@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't feel like it works that way for most people, Archer. But to continue with the overthinking I was mulling on why the sender included his contact info (including cell phone number) when he emailed my husband to say he was mailing the headphones back. But anyway, the hand-written note and Starbucks gift cards are ready to go out in the mail today. Thanks again, really, to everyone who thought this over sincerely and gave their own insights and opinions.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1106063 Fri, 06 Dec 2013 13:12:19 +0000 Archer 1106063@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Of course there is always taking the giving of rewards to people for acts of common humanity and seeing how as a practice it actually leads to the decrease of this kind of behaviour. Eventually what we encourage proliferates. i.e. How many rewards did you collect on today?</p> <p>&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104913 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 03:02:38 +0000 Anonymous 1104913@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ack, no need to feel stumped. I think the Starbucks cards are a great idea. You put thought in to this because you care. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104846 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 02:02:47 +0000 Anonymous 1104846@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mochi, I think you had hit on just the right solution. &nbsp;Lovely handwritten note + gift cards. &nbsp;I wouldn't make him respond to me about a donation. &nbsp;He's already gone out of his way. &nbsp;</p> <p>You are thoughtful and generous. &nbsp;Rock on! &nbsp;:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104831 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 01:32:13 +0000 Mochi 1104831@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, I did ask for everyone's thoughts and now I'm stymied! I think I will still send him the Starbucks gift cards (which are nice, easy things to regift if he wants) and mention in the note that I'd like to send a toy donation in his or his company's name to a friend's toy drive.</p> <p>It's so complicated! But thanks, and I'm finding the different thought processes absolutely fascinating.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104819 Thu, 05 Dec 2013 01:05:36 +0000 Anonymous 1104819@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A thank you note will suffice. I would personally feel insulted if I found some monetary retribution attached to my good deed. When I do something good for someone, my payback is the joy of have altered someone's life in a positive way. Not everything needs to be paid back in kínd. Pay it forward by doing something good for someone. It is not like you wrote on the case " If found, please mail for a monetary award", you know? lol. CEO or not, I think he would have probably spelled it out if he wanted his shipping money back. If you feel weird, I would add something on the note, along the lines of " I would like to reimburse you for shipping, would that be okay?"<br /> I am glad you got your stuff back. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104741 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 23:16:52 +0000 carter 1104741@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mochi, cross-posted on the pay it forward idea. I like it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104740 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 23:15:48 +0000 carter 1104740@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>In addition to a handwritten thank you note and whatever else you decide to send, I would check his company website to see if there's a place for testimonials. Even though this is personal rather than about the company, a comment on the top guy's integrity can be a great thank you.</p> <p>The other thing I would suggest is that rather than send the guy a "reward", send that money to some (local for him) charity on his behalf as a "pay it forward". If it were me, I would appreciate this more than a reward. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104737 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 23:10:47 +0000 Mochi 1104737@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for all your compelling thoughts on this. I went to Starbucks and bought a pack of five gift cards, and programmed in values of $5 for each. So if the gentleman wants to keep any or all of them, or gift some of them, there's some flexibility. Of course I'll go out and buy a card tomorrow too, and write him a nice thank you note. To me this feels like a decent response. Plus, I'll try to pay it forward somehow, probably by donating some toys to my friend's company gift drive or something like that.&nbsp;</p> <p>It's fascinating how fraught these things can be! And we're not even dealing with intercultural issues. Japanese people, for example, have coded/calibrated appropriate&nbsp;behavior around gift-giving, but it's complicated here too.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104585 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 19:05:15 +0000 Claudia 1104585@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would be put off/disturbed and refuse a cash gift for directly helping someone like the injured person&nbsp;as you did Gaylene, but would you feel any different if the young woman found out who you were and sent you a thank you&nbsp;card and floral arrangement or a pretty scarf&nbsp;after the fact? Somehow the latter is acceptable and gracious --&nbsp;and different than "rewarding" or paying someone off&nbsp;for their small acts of kindness.</p> <p>If someone at the airport ran after me to hand me back&nbsp;my forgotten property I would warmly thank them, not hand them cash. But if what happened to Mochi happened to me, I would want to send a card and an appropriate gift. To me, for the return of an expensive&nbsp;electronics type thingy like the headphones,&nbsp;which are prime targets for theft, I sure would want to show my appreciation with a nice gift and card.</p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104539 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 18:13:59 +0000 Gaylene 1104539@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm finding the responses on this thread fascinating, Mochi, and can now see why you wanted to ask the question. I'll admit that my first reaction was that the concept of giving someone a substantial "reward" for behaving graciously seemed a bit odd. To me, a heartfelt thank you still seems like the most appropriate response, but I think I now can see why a young woman who I drove to the emergency room after she fell on an icy sidewalk offered me $40 "for my trouble". I refused her offer, but felt disturbed by the sight of the two twenty dollar bills in her outstretched hand because I'd hope that she would have done the same for me if our roles had been reversed. The money seemed to turn my desire to help someone into a commercial, profit-driven action--sort of like a taxi service. </p> <p>Is it now common to give people money as a "reward" for small acts of kindness? Does the value of the item returned to its rightful owner influence the amount of "reward"? If I'm relatively well off, should I still take the $40 from a young student as my rightful compensation? The thread has given me a lot to think about... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104500 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 17:24:13 +0000 Claudia 1104500@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just don't understand how a thank you card and gift&nbsp;equates to a "reward." Someone was&nbsp;kind enough to make the effort to personally ensure you received a lost&nbsp;item back. After all he could have just&nbsp;dropped them off at airport&nbsp;lost or found, or&nbsp;left them with a security guard near the luggage&nbsp;and been on his way without a second thought after hoping that you'd get it.&nbsp;</p> <p>I also don't think a person's job title or the assumption of&nbsp;whether they can afford something or not&nbsp;should have any bearing&nbsp;as far as the gift card amount at all. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104470 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 16:50:40 +0000 Debbie 1104470@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think a $20 gift card and a note is great. It was a very nice thing to do. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104444 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 16:26:38 +0000 MsMary 1104444@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'd say $20.&nbsp; Enough to pay for his mailing costs, rounded up by the price of a cup of coffee or a magazine.&nbsp; You want to avoid any suggestion that you are, in fact, giving him a "reward."&nbsp; I would even phrase it that way in the note -- "here's twenty bucks to cover postage and&nbsp;a coffee at the airport."&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104432 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 16:06:06 +0000 Mo 1104432@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The reason I would not do $30 is that it might be going beyond the 'covering one's cost and thanking with a fancy coffee' limit. &nbsp;This man is a CEO of a company, money is not hard for him to come by probably. &nbsp;It is ALL about the thought behind it here, in my mind. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104335 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 13:26:08 +0000 donnat 1104335@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Definately in the $20.00 to $25.00 club. What a nice,honest person. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104275 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 10:27:53 +0000 Claudia 1104275@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm in the $30 club, or at least the $20-$25. Of course the handwritten thank you note is most&nbsp;important, but the gift card is a very&nbsp;nice token of his efforts and your appreciation&nbsp;and the airport&nbsp;Starbucks idea shows some thoughtfulness on your part.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104264 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 09:45:48 +0000 Debra 1104264@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a great story I think a thank you note, and enough to cover postage and buy a coffee is perfect. He is obviously a good person and returned them to you because it was the right thing to do. He just needs to know you appreciated his thoughtfulness. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104238 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 07:53:05 +0000 Archer 1104238@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Mochie- it's hard for people from different contexts on these. I would say, without doubt, just a lovely card. I can see the dilemma is because I hope, like you do that we all just want the world to be grateful and kind and more altruistic. But it's hard to know which actions lead to this end if it could be based on ever so finely balanced social nuance. I'd like to hear what you do after all and why you chose that way. Pretty sure you will find your own best way.... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104134 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 03:57:04 +0000 Anonymous 1104134@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with lyn*. &nbsp;Thirty dollars for the win! &nbsp;;) &nbsp;He can always regift if he chooses.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104124 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 03:45:38 +0000 minimalist 1104124@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Which model headphones? Mine are the 15s, and were a present from bf, so if you returned them to me, $50 is the least I'd send, on top of your shipping costs. Compared to what replacing them would cost me, plus the horrible feeling of having misplaced something of that value ...why skimp? I can think of several arguments against sending a cash reward, though.</p> <p>What Gaylene said about a token of appreciation is at least equally valid, so a Starbucks card for $20 would cover postage; he'd likely give it to the assistant who sent them to you.</p> <p>More importantly than either of those is what Suz said: a hand-written thank-you note. </p> <p>Glad you have them back! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104104 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 03:10:54 +0000 Mochi 1104104@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes, I've had stuff returned to me much more often than not. &nbsp;</p> <p>Janet, how do you get the stuff back then without ID? Or am I asking a touchy question &nbsp;In this case it was all my fault. I felt so careless. And I just assumed, Boston, forget it. But even in New York I've had my faith in humanity restored.&nbsp;</p> <p>Thanks, again, everyone. lyn*, you sure do make an excellent point, too. I'm grateful to this person. He will rack up some good karma </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104092 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 02:53:16 +0000 Janet 1104092@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I like the gift card idea. $20 is a nice amount for a thank you. How great that he sent them to you! Nice to know this still happens in this day and age. I am now going to make sure I put my husband's name and contact info in his headphone case because he leaves stuff on planes. All. The. Time! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104059 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 02:28:50 +0000 Karie 1104059@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think the card is appropriate, and I would send a $20-$25 gift card. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1104014 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 01:52:23 +0000 Suz 1104014@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am with the $20 to $25 club -- but the thank you note is the most important thing!&nbsp;</p> <p>And wow - what a nice story.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1103999 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 01:35:31 +0000 lyn* 1103999@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think I will go against the tide and suggest the $30 - those headphones weren't cheap; I gave a reward of $200 for the person who returned my iPad (around $600 to replace) - mostly because I was relieved! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/advice-on-a-reward#post-1103937 Wed, 04 Dec 2013 00:36:02 +0000 Gaylene 1103937@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with Mo that the thank-you note is the real "reward" for the person who found your headphones. The Starbucks card is just a token to enclose with a "Please let me pay for your next coffee to show my appreciation" kind of comment; staying under $20 (around the cost of the shipping) keeps it in that category. What the person does with the card is his business...</p> <p>I know I'd feel odd if someone insisted on giving me a monetary reward for something I did because I felt it was the right thing to do. But showing your appreciation by sending me a thank-you note would be a nice gesture. </p>