https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 05 Apr 2026 08:38:46 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard/page/2#post-2029458 Wed, 22 May 2019 20:22:29 +0000 LaPed 2029458@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm not sure I even own enough accessories for it to feel like too much! I have one watch, which I only wear while I'm teaching, never on the weekends; four pendant necklaces of varying sizes (I choose based on the neckline of my top); a handful of scarves which I wear if none of my necklaces work; one good pair of sunnies and one back-up pair for when I misplace the good ones; a few small bags for weekend use and two larger tote bags for weekday use. My ears aren't pierced, I don't own any bracelets, I can't maintain a manicure to save my life, and the only rings I have are heirlooms in weird, unwearable sizes!&nbsp;</p> <p>The only time I take something off is when I decide to wear a headband and it competes with my sunglasses. Winter accessories often feel like too much from an organizational standpoint rather than an aesthetic one, but they are a necessity for a good part of the year.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard/page/2#post-2029452 Wed, 22 May 2019 19:57:14 +0000 karen13 2029452@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thought-provoking question and responses! I am nodding along - on the rare occasions I photograph WIW, I often have add an accessory, because I'm trying to consciously "dress" but then I take it off over the course of the day, or before I leave the house. &nbsp;I love Liz's question and will also take The Cat's "what can I add" to heart. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard/page/2#post-2029409 Wed, 22 May 2019 16:05:16 +0000 Marilyn 2029409@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm like that as well when it comes to jewelry.&nbsp; I don't think it's a fear issue for me though.&nbsp; I tend to be a minimalist when it comes to fashion.....and in life in general.&nbsp; So for me, a pile of accessories ends up feeling like too much.&nbsp; I never wear earrings and a necklace at the same time....they're close together and feel like too much.&nbsp; I can do earrings OR necklace.&nbsp; I like to wear statement&nbsp; rings.....I generally don't pair them with bracelets but occasionally I will. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard/page/2#post-2029322 Wed, 22 May 2019 05:27:40 +0000 Jenni NZ 2029322@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I did read somewhere that Coco Chanel’s very accessorised style was partly WHY she said that. And for most of us, we don’t wear anywhere near that many anyway. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard/page/2#post-2029314 Wed, 22 May 2019 04:51:49 +0000 Gigi 2029314@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've heard this often: "trying too hard." But I'm not really sure what "trying too hard" would look like. So I don't bother myself with it. I just make sure that my outfit is cohesive and that everything works together. I think that when an outfit contains a lot of pieces that fight against each other, it can look more "busy" than stylish, which is maybe what is meant by "trying too hard." </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard/page/2#post-2029293 Wed, 22 May 2019 01:41:01 +0000 hereforthecake 2029293@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>All of these responses have been super helpful and I'm giving them all some thought.</p> <p>I am NOT an Uber casual person, in fact quite the opposite. I always have makeup, earrings and wedding rings on. My hair and nails are always done. I coordinate my clothes, and plan them out... But then I put on a necklace or bracelet and I feel like.... I don't know... Too much?</p> <p>Gonna keep thinking on this. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard/page/2#post-2029280 Tue, 21 May 2019 22:50:57 +0000 taylor 2029280@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I like What The Cat has said.<br /> “ some manage to look gorgeous LOADED in accessories . Others without “<br /> Wise words . It’s all personal style . </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard/page/2#post-2029279 Tue, 21 May 2019 22:49:00 +0000 Brooklyn 2029279@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I always think it’s interesting that Chanel is responsible for that saying when she wore outfits like this. </p> <p>I’m at the other end of the spectrum. I feel “under-done” without accessories. They are my favourite part of an outfit. </p> <p>I think this forum leans minimalist when it comes to jewellery. I look at WIW outfits and the first thing I think is “you need more accessories”. But that’s my style preference and others are right to follow their own. But I do think it’s important to experiment with new looks and try not to second guess how others will react to that. That’s how we change our style over time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard/page/2#post-2029258 Tue, 21 May 2019 21:38:23 +0000 The Cat 2029258@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Liz' comment (with suggestions on how to finish the question about "trying to hard to ...) is food for thought.</p> <p>In my opinion, the old Chanel rule (about removing one item before you leave the house) are among the rules we no longer need to follow. It might have made sense in her circles and time, when she and others wore a lot of accessories. Today, many of us wear just a few, perhaps too few. A modern rule (if we need any at all) perhaps should be: "Before you leave the house, take a look in the mirror, and consider to add at least one great accessory!" :-)</p> <p>However, personality is a very important ingredient in personal style. Some people manage to look gorgeous LOADED in accessories. (It wouldn't make sense to ask Iris Apfel "remove one item" ...) Others manage to look stunning practically WITHOUT accessories. Most of us are somewhere in between.</p> <p>You simply have to experiment to find your own accessory style. And this can be an exciting journey. Please don't be too afraid of others' opinions. Rember to have fun with fashion. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard/page/2#post-2029247 Tue, 21 May 2019 20:34:54 +0000 Suz 2029247@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a great question and such thoughtful, insightful responses.&nbsp;</p> <p>I relate to what several people said. Sometimes something feels like "too much" to me when it's new to me and I'm trying it out for the first time.&nbsp;</p> <p>I really like the idea to probe further when the "trying too hard" phrase comes into your mind. What is the deeper fear?&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard/page/2#post-2029240 Tue, 21 May 2019 19:56:48 +0000 Bennett 2029240@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would say for me, it comes from veering into inauthentic territory, which happens when I admire someone else's 'look' so much I want to attempt it. The reality is, I am only comfortable with a certain amount and a certain type of jewelry. There are only a couple of hat styles that I feel like me in. Painted fingernails, while I LOVE them on others, feel over the top on me. I accept that there are areas where I am worse off when I try to change lanes, and areas where I am only happy when driving against the traffic!</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard#post-2029109 Tue, 21 May 2019 12:58:59 +0000 ChristelJ 2029109@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So much food for thought here.<br /> Accessories can be purely practical, but many of them are designed to call attention, in varying degrees. I am thinking of suntiger's post today on low contrast versus high contrast. Some folks are more comfortable calling attention to themselves with ornamentation. It can come down to what feels natural to a person.<br /> For me, I appreciate when someone makes an effort to present some visual interest to the world. It's like being invited to share in someone's individual celebration. But that does not have to be in the form of accessories, or even apparel. Like Isabel, I have never actually thought anyone was trying too hard, and at the same time enjoy the range of ways people present themselves. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard#post-2029107 Tue, 21 May 2019 12:53:29 +0000 lyn67 2029107@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It it feels&nbsp; you "too much" than probably it was so:- too much for your personality, your mood, the image you wanted to project, the&nbsp; environment or event you dressed for, the weather ...and so on...on THAT SPECIFIC DAY-you can try again with better results. I rather please myself and be confident by all aspects of my view and style than confront or conform anything. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard#post-2029080 Tue, 21 May 2019 11:23:27 +0000 Bijou 2029080@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No, but I embrace a maximal style and love statement pieces. However, they do attract attention. Yesterday I wore some statement shoes (in finds) and about 10 people at work commented on them. To me they are pretty and fun and wearing them does not detract from my professionalism. However, I can see why others would dislike that attention.</p> <p>Minimalism is elegant, so just dress in a way that makes you happy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard#post-2029059 Tue, 21 May 2019 09:30:51 +0000 Mainelady 2029059@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is a great question. Trying to decide upon the answer to “Trying too hard to........” is tough. I really have to give some thought to when, or why I might try too hard. In general, I was raised that effort and trying your best was highly valued. Of course, a lot of that had to do with standards or expectations of others. Hmmmm..... I don’t know how this relates to accessories just yet.<br /> I am now wondering if others view me and think I am trying too hard to.......do what? Polish an outfit? Sprinkle on some happiness? Be me? Be noticed? Other? I don’t know. I guess if people are going to judge my use of accessories, I hope they will start with my smile. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard#post-2029057 Tue, 21 May 2019 08:57:50 +0000 Liesbeth 2029057@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Such an interesting thread. As you know, I'm also not very adept at accessorizing but trying to get better. This question made me realize that I too, have some hangups. E.g. I can be happy with an accessorized outfit, and then never reach for it again because it felt more like an experiment than a signature look. But how do you develop a signature look? By experimenting probably?</p> <p>There are so many ways to look at this. I probably too think accessories (especially the 'useless' ones like bracelets and necklaces) make me look like I'm trying too hard, to be fancy, or what Jenni said, like a frivolous person. I don't want those hangups to stop me from putting in the extra effort. Because in a way I AM always trying, it's just who I am :).</p> <p>Then again, a signature style does not HAVE to include many accessories. Personally, I always wear statement glasses and own many pretty earstuds. I also love my wedding ring which I always wear. I have a seasonal handbag that matches my color palette (at least I try to: currently not finding my perfect handbag). Scarves are regularly in rotation even if I sometimes take 'em off indoors. All in all, that's hardly minimalist. So&nbsp;<i>should&nbsp;</i>I change this up? (Sorry if this is too navelgazing.)</p> <p>For now, I'm sticking with experimenting a bit more, in inexpensive ways, to wear the accessories I do own more and try and 'finish' my outfits thoughtfully. This will no doubt bring me greater insight :).</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard#post-2029050 Tue, 21 May 2019 06:00:21 +0000 Alicewonderland 2029050@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it is a matter of making sure your accessories have a clear purpose in your overall outfit. —is it complementing a neckline, or tying colors together, etc. They should look like a natural but enhancing part of the outfiit, If added to the outfit without thought to how it affects the balance of the outfit then it can draw the eye in a jarring way, which is what I think most of us think of as “trying too hard”. It’s an art i guess. In conclusion, I would say that it is possible to wear lots of accessories and not look like you’re trying too hard, yet wear few accessories and look like you are. It just depends on how it’s done. It helps a lot to take a full body selfie of your outfit with accessories to see if you like it. Focusing on useful accessories (hats, watches,) might be easier, just give them a little flair. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard#post-2029037 Tue, 21 May 2019 03:50:23 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 2029037@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Such a good question. I've often heard this phrase, not wanting to look like we're trying too hard, and I've often felt it's something I want to avoid, too. But not knowing exactly what it means makes it a difficult thing to avoid! I love Liz's advice to finish the sentence. And Nemosmom gets at a point that seems relevant to me, personally: if I'm wearing an accessory that is new or different, it can feel like I'm trying too hard. . . perhaps to look like someone else. But then, really, how do we ever move beyond what we always wear, if we criticize ourselves for trying something different? I am going to take Liz's advice and examine what I think I'm trying too hard at, the next time I throw that comment at myself! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard#post-2029031 Tue, 21 May 2019 02:28:27 +0000 Gretchen 2029031@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wonder if the "try hard" feeling might also be about size or style of the accessories?&nbsp;</p> <p>For example, today I'm wearing:&nbsp;<br />my wedding ring<br />my Riva ring<br />Silver/green earrings<br />silver necklace<br />green/gray scarf<br />specs</p> <p>It's a lot listed out, but all are aligned in that they are smaller, more delicate pieces, which aligns with my preferred style. If instead I were trying for a layered boho style, or lots of big chunky pieces, I would feel like I was trying too hard... to achieve a look that isn't natural to me.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard#post-2029028 Tue, 21 May 2019 01:44:02 +0000 Jaime 2029028@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I completely relate to this. In retrospect I think I avoided makeup when I was younger for a similar reason. Liz's question is brilliant. Trying too hard to what indeed!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard#post-2029004 Tue, 21 May 2019 00:02:30 +0000 Anonymous 2029004@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ditto Liz To me the whole uber casualization "it's cool not to care" feels forced to me. The whole notion of having to "dress down" everything-with sneakers or such. For some people, I'm sure it feels natural-but it seems a lot of effort to me, with the result of feeling like a poser!<br /> That said- sometimes accessories can be in the way, especially if you have an active job/life! Even a simple pendant will get in the way if you need to bend a lot. Scarves get caught on things. Etc... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard#post-2029003 Tue, 21 May 2019 00:00:48 +0000 SarahD8 2029003@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I relate to this a lot. For me the added wrinkle is that I work at home so I am not putting on/taking off accessories before I walk out the door...more like before I walk over to my writing chair.</p> <p>I think it's definitely connected to the Puritanical view that <b>JenniNZ</b> mentions. Like just who do I think I am, putting on earrings and lipstick to spend the day home alone?&nbsp;I have somewhat been able to overcome that with regard to clothing, because I know that I'm more productive if I put on "real" clothes. But somehow accessories just seem a bridge too far... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard#post-2028998 Mon, 20 May 2019 23:39:07 +0000 rachylou 2028998@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmm. My mum is like Katerina in that she effortlessly wears brooches. I only sometimes effortlessly wear a brooch. There are definitely times when it’s trying too hard on me. A tack-on. I have a lot going on clothes and hair wise normally and I also don’t have a great collection of them to choose from... so it can look forced. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard#post-2028969 Mon, 20 May 2019 20:25:16 +0000 Sal 2028969@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting thread and I can relate to the feeling - I get it when wearing heels during the day sometimes. </p> <p>I think Liz’s comment is interesting- and I think that is worth pursuing. And I maybe just pushing through the feeling and see how you get on. You May find fine silver necklaces are an easy solution- or maybe earrings with no other jewellery. I find bracelets the most natural to wear - and earrings/ necklaces the hardest especially during the day when I might wear sunglasses. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard#post-2028960 Mon, 20 May 2019 19:44:04 +0000 hereforthecake 2028960@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So many good and thoughtful responses here!</p> <p>I'm particularly struck by the question of how I would finish the sentence, "Trying too hard... to do what?" need to give that some thought. </p> <p>Also, laughing about the concept that looking effortless requires a lot of effort! Of course it's the truth. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard#post-2028959 Mon, 20 May 2019 19:41:08 +0000 Jenni NZ 2028959@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Liz’s thinking is great! I wonder if there is some lingering thought around that fashion is not for “serious” people, that it’s a frivolous thing? Sort of a lurking puritanical view?<br /> Large numbers of people put a lot of effort into their look. They even mark their bodies with full sleeve tattoos etc.<br /> I have banished the puritanical thought from my brain. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard#post-2028932 Mon, 20 May 2019 18:27:28 +0000 Anonymous 2028932@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm familiar with the phrase and I understand the concept but I have never, ever, thought this about anyone's styling. In extreme cases I might think that someone's style is over the top, elaborate, or very indicative of a particular lifestyle, but honestly, I really enjoy the wide range of personal expression and I feel lucky to see it.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard#post-2028919 Mon, 20 May 2019 18:04:42 +0000 Helena 2028919@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love what Liz said!</p> <p>The nice thing with accessories is, you can easily take them off part-way through the day if the 'trying too hard' feeling persists. I'd follow your feelings on it - no law saying you have to accessorize, especially as you note that you're looking pretty good without them! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard#post-2028899 Mon, 20 May 2019 16:59:43 +0000 smittie 2028899@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maybe you just don't like wearing extra stuff and you have a more minimalist style that doesn't need accessorizing?</p> <p>I think you have a very dramatic look and could easily wear large jewelry, but maybe just start with 1 thing per outfit.&nbsp;</p> <p>I often feel like I'm trying too hard. The feeling is always related to a new experiment I'm trying out. Sometimes the awkward 'trying-to-hard' feeling goes away, and the new item becomes part of my core style, and sometimes the feeling doesn't go away, in which case I chalk it up to a fail experiment (but valuable learning experience). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/accessories-vs-trying-too-hard#post-2028898 Mon, 20 May 2019 16:58:41 +0000 fifthandfinest 2028898@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting realization! Maybe challenge it by wearing more accessories this week and see how you feel? </p>