https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 29 Apr 2026 02:35:56 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons/page/2#post-984109 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 18:50:21 +0000 AviaMariah 984109@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks you Ornella! &nbsp;I'm GF and am always looking for a good recipe. Maybe we should start a thread "fabulously GF". &nbsp;;) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons/page/2#post-984029 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 17:40:31 +0000 Ornella 984029@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>LOL Gaylene, I'm always here if you need&nbsp;GF inspiration </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons/page/2#post-983983 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 17:15:47 +0000 Gaylene 983983@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ornella, talk about perfect timing! My gluten-sensitive friend and her husband are coming to dinner tonight and I was searching my computer for something that would work for our dessert. <i>Summer Layered Delight</i> it is! </p> <p>Just another way to be inspired by YLF.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons/page/2#post-983929 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 16:41:50 +0000 Marley 983929@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm back - got a good night's sleep - have had my first cup of coffee.&nbsp; Feeling good.&nbsp; O - I completely agree with and understand the intent of your thread - diversity - YES!&nbsp; That's it - and there are many different ways to get inspiration from YLF!&nbsp; <br />And now, I'm going to have myself&nbsp;a slice of that delicious looking Summer Layered Delight!&nbsp; Yum! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons/page/2#post-983856 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 15:25:07 +0000 MsMary 983856@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Team Angie!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons/page/2#post-983840 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 15:12:06 +0000 Angie 983840@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Not at all, Zap. I enjoy your lateral thinking. You know that </p> <p>That looks perfect, Ornella! The almond and coconut base has my mouth watering. I'm in with a cuppa with Zap! </p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons/page/2#post-983832 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 15:06:48 +0000 Ornella 983832@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>O's Simple Summer Layered Delight</b><br />(gluten-free, no baking, as-you-like-it quantities)</p> <p> <ul> <li>Mix ground almonds and dissected coconut and sprinkle at the bottom of the serving dish.</li> <li>Layer frozen berries on top.</li> <li>Sprinkle with brown sugar.</li> <li>Mix double cream. Add greek yoghurt. Ratio 1:1 approx. Add vanilla essence and some icing sugar.</li> <li>Cover the berries.</li> <li>Leave for several hours (the cream will cool down, the berries will start melting and soak the coconuty&nbsp;base)&nbsp;and enjoy. Don't forget to leave one serving for yourself as the whole thing&nbsp;may be gone before you've had your share - learnt it the hard way.</li> </ul> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons/page/2#post-983816 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 14:53:26 +0000 Anonymous 983816@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You are right Angie. I am sorry if I ended up being too intense on the topic.<br /> Tea and cake it is! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons/page/2#post-983802 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 14:41:07 +0000 Angie 983802@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I vote lets just have tea and cake. </p> <p>:) xo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons/page/2#post-983799 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 14:34:11 +0000 Anonymous 983799@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think the issue is not IF paying a compliment is exclusionary. That would be bananas in my book. I think the issue is with threads that go in the vein of naming style icons or inspirational members. They are bittersweet to some, and you know what? I am no one to judge if such a reaction is immature or childish. </p> <p>Truth be told, those "name your style icons" threads never go well. They just don't.</p> <p>And Sona, I agree. One should never attempt to find validation outside of self. That is a recipe for disaster. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons/page/2#post-983769 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 13:58:30 +0000 ironkurtin 983769@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Traci and Sona - I agree! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons/page/2#post-983751 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 13:49:27 +0000 Sona 983751@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>my 1 cent:<br />I think everyone is made to feel included on this forum with Angie at the helm. People are also awesome about giving constructive criticism when asked. Sometimes I have an odd thought like - something about that does not look right to me. But if I don't have&nbsp;an alternative idea to offer -i.e&nbsp; a potential solution, a 'construct' if you will I keep quiet and usually some bright bulb will pick up on what it is that can make a wiw look off.</p> <p>The thing that is really interesting to me is that none of us are gen X most of us are older. As someone who worked extensively with medical students we were taught the 'sandwich' method. start with something good to say, then enter the constructive criticism that is specific and then end with something good again.<br />This is because this generation has grown up with validation at every stage of their life.&nbsp; Even the losers in the soccer match get a medal and a 'great job'. I always tell my bebe well played but&nbsp; you guys can do better.</p> <p>Come on guys, we are all fabbers in our own mind ( or should be), external validation is icing on the cake but being happy with your own style is the ultimate goal. And that is something no amount of external validation can help with . it's one's own inner sartorial journey. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons/page/2#post-983666 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 12:34:42 +0000 Suz 983666@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Traci, I really like your last line. Thanks for that insight.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons/page/2#post-983644 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 12:00:33 +0000 Traci 983644@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think this is teetering on the type of politeness that can be more stifling than friendly. &nbsp;To me, this is&nbsp;taking the step beyond i<i>f you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all&nbsp;</i>&nbsp;to <i>Don't call out a list of people to say nice things to because you will inadvertently be saying something not nice to the ones left out. &nbsp;</i>We also know that it does not go without notice when we don't receive many positive comments (or any comments at all) when another member does. &nbsp;To save those feelings should we not give any public praise? &nbsp;or should we not comment? &nbsp;or should we start counting responses and doling them out based on fairness rather than based on how we feel moved by what we see? &nbsp;</p> <p>I think that this forum is one of the most thoughtful and most kind groups of women I've ever seen on the internet or anywhere really. &nbsp;I want to echo the sentiments of others that I've seen over the years on this, and other forums, who say if you aren't getting what you need or want out of a forum you need to look both at what you're putting in and what you're expecting. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons/page/2#post-983640 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 11:54:12 +0000 Anonymous 983640@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ack, this thread went sour.<br /> Florence, don't think that at all. This is not the first time we end up hashing this one out, nor will it be the last.<br /> Marley, junior high does sound like such a great idea... I wish I could do that :)<br /> Zap over and out! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons#post-983615 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 11:11:04 +0000 Ornella 983615@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>FF, there was a specific thread but this is&nbsp;not addressed at you personally at all, there were other random comments within other threads too.&nbsp;These sort of "style icons"&nbsp;things happen every now, it's natural, and&nbsp;the whole purpose of this thread, from my POW,&nbsp;was to clear my head&nbsp;and say once again that one of the biggest values&nbsp;of the community is the diversity and that people here inspire in more ways than one.&nbsp;</p> <p>Please don't feel bad in any way and don't let it get in the way of being happy for&nbsp;finding this group and having&nbsp;extra fun with what sounds like a fabulous wardrobe we're all eager to see. </p> <p></p> <p>ETA: One thing that was a real eye-opener to me was when I figured out Angie's KILLER ratings. At first it was "how can person X and person Y BOTH get K-rating when one is obviously skilled in layering/proportions/(non)matching/whatever and the other swapped summer sandals for ballet flats in yesterday's outfit of shorts and tee". That was it - everyone's space, scope, ability and stage of style journey. Learning to 'read' through that has meant I can take everyone as inspiration.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons#post-983535 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 06:33:50 +0000 Marley 983535@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't think that a thread where people are talking about their 'style icons'/mentors/inspirations is a problem at all - and I've been surprised that some people would feel bad about it - and/or - that some people are <i>worried </i>that people might feel bad about it.&nbsp; This is an on-line forum that is pretty darn open-minded, welcoming and positive - and if we can't mention each other as inspirations at times (for fear of hurting someone else's feelings) then I really think we should all go back to junior high and form our cliques and not talk to those that hurt our feelings.&nbsp; <br />Good grief women - come on!&nbsp; We're grown ups here - aren't we?&nbsp; (Yes, its past my bedtime - yes, I'm grumpy - but, really - I'm kind of <i>over it</i>.) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons#post-983379 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 02:25:15 +0000 MsMary 983379@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just want to say that in my view there's not a thing in the world wrong with being a copycat.&nbsp; I am the biggest copycatter in the world, and proud of it!&nbsp; I even have a Pinterest board called <a href="http://pinterest.com/mrskpasadena/outfits-i-have-copied-and-in-which-i-have-actually/" rel="nofollow">Outfits I Have Copied And In Which I Have Actually Left the House</a>!&nbsp; ;)</p> <p>And high five for Team Pattern Mixing! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons#post-983370 Thu, 18 Jul 2013 02:14:20 +0000 FlorenceFearne 983370@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ack. I think I was the new person that put my foot in it and started this debacle. :(&nbsp;</p> <p>Really, Suz is right. I was excited because fashion feels like a very lonely thing to me&nbsp;sometimes. So when I look at my closet full of clothes, and I feel at a loss, it helps me push outside my comfort zone if I try to imagine what Angie, or MakyK, or Zap, or anyone else here might do if they had to combine the same items I'm looking at. Just today, I wore an outfit I've never worn before because I figured, "Hey, MaryK can make 6 patterns look good - surely I can wear just one bold scarf!" And I did, and I loved the way I looked.&nbsp;</p> <p>I was really hoping to hear from fabbers about who they considered a fashion mentor because it's not always easy to be sure when you've crossed the line from "inspired by" to copycat, and&nbsp;I was looking forward to seeing examples of&nbsp;how people learn from someone else's look but still make it their own. Something like, "Well X wears a lot of this, and I love that look, but I always swap in boots for flats, so you can see my signature style, but you can also see where I pull from her."&nbsp;I guess I was unrealistic to think that everyone would magically realize that what I was looking for was almost more of a side-by-side, or a how-to.&nbsp;</p> <p>I have already worn outfits inspired by numerous members I didn't mention, and I do believe I can learn something from everyone. The folks I mentioned are simply those people I overlap with most, or those who are good at things I feel most insecure about. I'm feeling entirely&nbsp;crappy about this whole thing, because I was excited to be part of the community, and it seems to have snowballed into this awful feelings-hurting pseudo popularity contest.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons#post-983141 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 22:19:43 +0000 Angie 983141@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you, Ornella. I am on Team EVERYONE ON YLF IS INSPIRING - just like you, Suz and Shannon. </p> <p>Thanks for the kind word, Jules. </p> <p>Dana, Rachy, Zap and Gaylene, I'm glad you're here. I love your lateral perspectives. </p> <p>Our goal is to create a place on the internet in which<b><i> everyone </i></b>feels safe to share their thoughts on fashion and style respectively, diplomatically and constructively. Our forum is extremely engaged because of it. I hope that it continues to thrive and make people feel happy, healthy and welcome. </p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons#post-983114 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 21:42:30 +0000 Suz 983114@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene -- this particular thread is in response to another thread that was about naming style icons on the list. So that is the context.&nbsp;</p> <p>PS Speaking of style icons and helpers,<a rel="nofollow" href="http://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-supporting-todays-blog-for-glory"> here is my recent homage to </a><b><a rel="nofollow" href="http://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-supporting-todays-blog-for-glory">YOU.&nbsp;</a></b> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons#post-983069 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 21:05:34 +0000 ironkurtin 983069@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I often feel left out of YLF because I feel like much of the dressing here isn't my cuppa.&nbsp; But I don't blame anyone for that!&nbsp; Most of my RL friends don't dress like my cuppa either.&nbsp; And if I'm not anyone's style idol, and if no one here is mine, I think that is A-OK.&nbsp; I'm sorry to hear that others feel left out or have their feelings hurt, but I think they might be loading the forum with value it may not need to have.&nbsp; I might be more pragmatic about this because I'm used to ducking stones (when you work in games, forums get nasssssty!), but I really advise everyone to take feedback or lack of it with a dash of salt.&nbsp; Just to mix metaphors. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons#post-983026 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 20:28:39 +0000 RoseandJoan 983026@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Nobody likes the idea of being censored or cajoled into thinking and behaving in&nbsp;a certain&nbsp;way. The tone of this community has been set by the example of Angie who is always truthful but respectful, Sometimes feelings will be hurt on this forum but I very much doubt it is anyone's intention. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons#post-983014 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 20:09:54 +0000 Gaylene 983014@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OK, obviously I've a lot to learn about forums.. I'm still working on the thought that someone indicating that they are particularly drawn to XXX's style makes others feel unappreciated and excluded. Being around the ruthless comments students regularly make about their profs has obviously deaden my sensitivities in this area. </p> <p>Seriously, though, I'm getting a bit uneasy at the implications for forum discussions. A support group is great, but is that the main purpose of the forum?<br /> *cranky old prof wandering back to her books--unsettled at the thought of being cut off from important discussions about shoes and slouchy pants* </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons#post-982977 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 19:38:09 +0000 rachylou 982977@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think the ideal response is for YLF'ers to demonstrate everyone is everyone else's role model. That's a YLF value in my mind.</p> <p>If someone does happen to have been inspired by a particular member and gives a shout out, I think to myself that gratitude is always good.</p> <p>I don't know why anyone would be my groupie. I am very quirky, and let's be honest, it's embarrassing to be a hipster. Esp. at my age.</p> <p>Bad idea: electing a clique of Queen Bees and then letting betas run amuck rolling out the red carpet for 'em. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons#post-982947 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 19:04:02 +0000 Anonymous 982947@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>... and Ornella, I agree with you in all accounts.<br /> Gaylene, it is the "naming stars" as Mo eloquently puts it, what is the primary contention here. All of the interactions you are describing are not what's bothersome to some. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons#post-982944 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 18:59:49 +0000 Mo 982944@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think there is a difference between actively participating in the forum in all the varied ways by responding and complimenting&nbsp;versus basically naming 'stars'. &nbsp; Yes, we are all responsible for our own feelings and reactions, but we can also be mindful of what could seem exclusionary. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons#post-982943 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 18:58:29 +0000 Ornella 982943@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mandipa :: I agree, describing things through someone's take on them is, if you like, handy. What i'm saying is that listing names inevitably means someone will be left out, which is the last effect any of us want. And I'm sure we actually all agree on that one, but it's just sometimes worth saying it.</p> <p></p> <p>Suz :: great point about "style icon" threads being a reflection of someone's excitement about the world of YLF in general.&nbsp;</p> <p></p> <p>IK :: I coudn't agree more, however numerous threads show that the self-esteem does get a significant boost from the appreciation on the forum and it does spill to other areas of life. Everyone here is mature enough to have a healthy idea of virtual and real.&nbsp;</p> <p>But, I was aiming more at the feeling of being left-out from the community that matters to everyone. I think it's only human. If we did not care about belonging here, we would not put our time and effort into participating.</p> <p></p> <p>And I'm just saying how I feel. This is a big prom and we are all Prom Queens.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons#post-982926 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 18:45:36 +0000 Gaylene 982926@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've been a bit bemused by all these threads lately about who is inspiring whom and who feels under appreciated by a lack of comments on their threads.</p> <p>One of the reasons I don't post WIW pictures is because I've never been quite sure of what <b>I'd </b>be looking for in the responses. My vanity tells me that I'd love a chorus of "wow, you look fabulous", but I'm not sure my ego needs any more inflating. I can get behind the idea of having others give me suggestions, but, to be honest, if our tastes and lifestyles don't align, I'm still likely to go my own way. As for inspiring others, I know what works for my job and my style but, unless the forum is populated with 64 year-old university profs, I can't see myself in the style icon role.</p> <p>Personally, I'd hate to see the WIWs take over the intelligent discussions and fashion advice that drew me to YLF in the first place. I enjoy looking at the WIW threads because they represent what real women wear in their daily lives, but I've never thought of them as the most important part of the forum--and all that positivity comes with a darker side if people feel slighted when their WIWs don't engender as many "wows" as the next person's.</p> <p>Not hurting others' feelings is important, but I find it unnerving the more I have to censor my thoughts regarding whose style inspired me to try something different, or where I shopped, or any number of like topics. I'd also stop commenting altogether if I thought that, by leaving a comment for one person, I'd have offended a bunch of others. It's nice to acknowledge and celebrate each other, but not when it becomes a duty.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/about-naming-your-ylf-style-icons#post-982924 Wed, 17 Jul 2013 18:44:35 +0000 Anonymous 982924@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think there are a lot of things that are getting convoluted here. I don't think the issue is about self esteem, keeping tabs on who gets responses to what, or trying to come up with rationalizations as to why a member's style is more memorable or whatnot. I think the issue here is one of diplomacy and concern for everyone's emotions on this topic. </p> <p>The reality is that most of us do spend significant time and money working on our individual styles. We are all passionate about fashion, and as with all passions, things can get personal.</p> <p>I am not going to discount the feelings of someone, who gets sensitive about not receiving responses, nor will I discount the thought process of someone, who is genuinely asking about why there is a perceived lack of identification with her style. People react differently to things.</p> <p>As a side note: Am I counting responses? No. Am I losing sleep over any of this? No. Is someone else receiving praise cramping my style or invalidating me? No. Do I have a odometer here measuring who gets what compliment? Pleaseee. However, there is a degree of vulnerability that goes with a WIW, that can only be experienced when you actually post them. As such, since I only have control to my reactions to certain things, I am not going to put myself out there posting WIWs, when I might be going through a vulnerable state. As I said, I am not that evolved. </p> <p>Plus, this is not the first time when members get a little distaste on those "best of YLF" threads. So, if we know that bothers people, why do it? </p>