https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 27 Apr 2026 19:22:27 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/3#post-1137032 Sun, 12 Jan 2014 21:55:45 +0000 lyn* 1137032@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Tee hee, it's okay ... things are still going ok </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1136969 Sun, 12 Jan 2014 20:54:39 +0000 Marley 1136969@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ahhh that's such good news! Sorry I've been so slow in responding - I've been back<br /> In the Midwest the past 3+ weeks (still there) and so my "normal" schedule is totally turned upside down.) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1116429 Tue, 17 Dec 2013 17:29:12 +0000 E 1116429@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yay Lyn! So glad things worked out!&nbsp;(Sorry it took me awhile to get back to this; I always forget about this section.) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1114886 Sun, 15 Dec 2013 18:54:03 +0000 lyn* 1114886@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>O-o; yeah.... hmm, I think the "it's different with someone you like" really rings true. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1114637 Sun, 15 Dec 2013 07:42:39 +0000 Adelfa 1114637@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Coming on this thread late... that really was fast I'm impressed with you that you would be that vulnerable and ask for help. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1114428 Sun, 15 Dec 2013 01:58:40 +0000 Echo 1114428@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hurray! I am so happy for you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1114356 Sun, 15 Dec 2013 00:34:39 +0000 lyn* 1114356@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>AJ, it sure wasn't my first ... but I guess you have to kiss a few (slimy) frogs first? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1113816 Sat, 14 Dec 2013 08:15:30 +0000 AJ 1113816@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh your first kiss!&nbsp; I'm so glad is was with someone special!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1113159 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 18:15:55 +0000 rachylou 1113159@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lol. Good for you </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1113041 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 16:31:49 +0000 Anonymous 1113041@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hooray! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1113036 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 16:26:47 +0000 ironkurtin 1113036@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OH GOOD!&nbsp; Onward and upward! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1112971 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 15:18:04 +0000 Alassë 1112971@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Cheering for you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1112902 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 14:18:08 +0000 Janet 1112902@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yay! I'm grinning for you right now. I bet you are too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1112822 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 09:42:22 +0000 ManidipaM 1112822@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>:-D </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1112784 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 07:02:49 +0000 goldenpig 1112784@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yay! Great news! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1112775 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 06:52:00 +0000 Jeanie 1112775@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ahh, good news! &nbsp;He must be the right person for you. &nbsp;Good feelings of connection can always trump fear. &nbsp;Yay! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1112771 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 06:42:40 +0000 anne 1112771@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fast work!!!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1112767 Fri, 13 Dec 2013 06:36:07 +0000 lyn* 1112767@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, thank you all for your lovely advice and suggestions.</p> <p>Let's just say we went out tonight ... and the problem is solved. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1111908 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 15:08:17 +0000 Alassë 1111908@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've been thinking about how to respond for a while now.... I was raised to not have casual physical contact with guys, so in my mind I translated "wait" to "wrong". However, when I was serious about marrying my future husband, I began to get interested in said contact, despite my previous attitude. Take it slowly, but I think when you love someone you will eventually desire that physical contact with them that speaks of affection. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1111746 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 11:31:15 +0000 ManidipaM 1111746@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Erm. I am slightly lost in the memory department these days. But I hope I wasn't imagining the article that suggested some evidence that exchanging saliva actually helped determine attraction to a different gene pool to minimise inbreeding.</p> <p>That apart, despite being an early bloomer, I still think kissing open-mouthed is rather icky. After 14 years with a wet kisser. It may be an Asian thing like Rachy said. Or it may be a 'some people' thing. </p> <p>The thing to do is discuss honestly. With boy as well as self.</p> <p>It may not prove insurmountable. Like drinking red wine on occasion with your friend who likes it though you prefer white. Or sharing a McBurger though you usually eat organic.</p> <p>Or it may prove some needs are critical to your relationship happiness. Only way to know is to try a few times. Upbringing issues notwithstanding. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1111698 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 08:17:38 +0000 rachylou 1111698@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I saw a therapist, when I was being radiated. He put it out there that people think about engaging in sex in confessional booths and perhaps I'd had such a thought. I was pretty shocked and ended our sessions. That was the first I'd heard of that, haha.</p> <p>However, I should think he was doing his job correctly and I got what I was supposed to get out of it all. It was just that, while I don't think validation is therapy, I'm just too Catholic for that. That's one thing you have to validate - and know about - to be my therapist. But I appreciate the sting he delivered. I was in a bubble. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1111682 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 06:53:17 +0000 Marley 1111682@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hey Lyn - sounds like you've got things sorted, so I'll just keep my mouth shut for the time being.&nbsp; Two questions I have though - is - what kind of therapy are you referring to that the other resident&nbsp; has a monopoly on?&nbsp; and, why can't you see any person that you want for therapy?&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1111676 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 06:39:01 +0000 TraceyLiz65 1111676@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Our upbringing can definitely have a great hold on us and I hope that you will try finding a more qualified therapist to help undo that programming as physical intimacy is such an important part of relationships. &nbsp;Glad to hear you have discussed this with your guy and that he is taking it slow with you! &nbsp;</p> <p>I didn't have any issues like this from my childhood, in fact my parents use to smooch in the hallway all the time and we would giggle about it. &nbsp;I did however have a weird first relationship where he had hang ups that "good girls" didn't do certain things or behave certain ways. &nbsp;After breaking it off with him I had a short term relationship with a guy who was much freer who totally cured me, but would have been too much fo a long term thing... My husband greatly benefitted from that second relationship which cured me! &nbsp;</p> <p>It is a personal journey and we all have to feel our way around it and see what works for us, I hope you can approach this with some humor and curiosity!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1111613 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 04:44:12 +0000 E 1111613@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>*hugs* I have 2 friends who are asexual; they enjoy the romance of relationships but don't care for the physical aspects beyond hugging/snuggling. Have you read up on asexuality at all? If not I'd recommend doing so! I didn't know of its existence before I met my friends, so in case it's new to you too. :)</p> <p>That's wonderful that the guy you're with was supportive and not pushing you, and that you feel comfortable talking about it with him. What a horrid therapist, I'm glad you fired him. He should lose his license over something like that, in my not-so-humble opinion.</p> <p>Other than mouth/mouth kissing, mouth/neck kissing involves a lot of erogenous feeling too, and doesn't require exchanging spit. Your neck washes clean pretty easily. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1111586 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 04:21:56 +0000 rachylou 1111586@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ariadne, no? How fascinating.</p> <p>I am of two minds about the legitimacy of such tactics. On the one hand certain things are indeed sacred in my book. On the other, people really do get stuck like a broken record. The mind does work like that, does have habits. And the habits are tenacious.</p> <p>But I will say that I've never yet met a therapist who could tell me what well-adjusted is. They have always sidestepped and said something like, *as long as whatever isn't interfering with your life.* </p> <p>Psychiatrists and psychologists being different... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1111496 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 03:17:19 +0000 Carla 1111496@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think the whole kissing thing is some sort of primal way of sensing the world...as in babies usually come at you mouth first, and everything goes into the mouth while they are exploring the world (slobbery things babies!) until they sort themselves out. </p> <p>Gotta say, I'm a fan! (Of kissing!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1111411 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 01:53:25 +0000 Gigi 1111411@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lyn, I come from a family like yours, and no, your reaction to kissing&nbsp;is not weird at all&nbsp;for someone with a nontouch type of upbringing.&nbsp;</p> <p>I don't have any advice other than to commiserate with you and to pat you on the back for firing that therapist! The client-therapist relationship needs to be a safe one where you can bare all, and this response on the part of the therapist shows that it was not a safe relationship for you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1111364 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 01:26:34 +0000 Kristin L 1111364@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I like the suggestions about trying other areas. And go at your pace! There's nothing worse than feeling like someone is pushing you to do things you're not comfortable with.&nbsp;I was a late bloomer as well and it took me a while to get use to kissing and things like that.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1111347 Thu, 12 Dec 2013 01:15:41 +0000 lyn* 1111347@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks everyone for being so supportive!&nbsp;</p> <p>I promptly fired the therapist after he said that - and I am not comfortable looking for another one right now, because one of the other residents in my years is very interested in this type of therapy and has a monopoly on any of the cases that comes through (although I'm pretty sure I can ask not to be on her case load - because that's just weird).&nbsp;</p> <p>We had a really long talk about it, and he was very supportive. We are happy to snuggle and do jigsaw puzzles, until I get more comfortable with having someone in my personal space - so I'm pretty happy with that! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-strange-question-about-boys/page/2#post-1111209 Wed, 11 Dec 2013 21:56:08 +0000 RoseandJoan 1111209@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lyn, I would just like to point out that the mere fact you are talking about this now shows your depth of feeling for the boy. If he was simply a fling then why bother? </p> <p>I do have a friend who shares very similar views&nbsp;on sexual intimacy, she had an eating disorder through most of her twenties and believes her&nbsp;reactions are tied to her ongoing&nbsp;negative body image. Despite having these hurdles to overcome J has been married for around 7 years and is a Mum to three children. </p>