https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 21 Apr 2026 05:54:16 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-813737 Thu, 10 Jan 2013 05:34:03 +0000 ManidipaM 813737@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Right, so having slept on it, I'm back to try a redefinition of the definition... umm...</p> <p>1. Earthy seems to work best to communicate the groundedness both Suz and Una point out as essential to me, while keeping the eco-conscious aspect alive too.</p> <p>2. Eclectic --- possibly needs to stay as well, as Diana's comment points me to elements in her own (Artistic Eclectic) and also Astrid (Bohemian) and Rachy's (Quirky) preferences that I also aspire to.</p> <p>3. Folksy --- I think Angie's label from the descriptor thread is far more evocative and encompassing than the 'Ethnic' I originally chose (but of course, that's why she's Angie!). So switching over! </p> <p>4. Textural --- also stays for now, though I'm wondering if Eclectic, Earthy and Folksy already have it covered!</p> <p>5. ... --- Not sure how to articulate this last one; suggestions welcome! I think what's missing from the four above is a sense of being a little 'pared down' or 'streamlined' in the everyday. Maybe it's what Rachy sees as 'Sleek'. Or what I'm getting at when I say I'm not quite androgynous but not positively feminine either. Talking about this on Becky's (cobaltblue's) thread reminded me of Caro's reference to a subversive feminine aspect. Yet I feel like this is supposed to be a non-gender-referencing adjective --- anything that actually mentions gender will be coming on too strong! On the other hand, 'subtle' is too airy for me. Is 'Relaxed' what I'm after? (I suspect this is my Kibbe 'Soft Natural' type needing a one-word expression...) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-813033 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 19:01:27 +0000 ManidipaM 813033@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Astrid, that IS interesting! I wonder what ties the three of you together... I need to ponder the Pinterest boards some more. (I do know I used steal off your boards the most, habitually, often without realizing its you and then do a double-take; and now I have started doing this to Rachy!)</p> <p>Becky, I was just reading your thread! And I'm going to comment on there, because some of the thoughts you have are very much what I was thinking this time last year, before I delurked on YLF to help me sort this out... (Angie, may I repeat my thanks for this forum, because it is a BLESSING with a capital B?) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-813024 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 18:54:26 +0000 cobaltblue 813024@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mani, I SO enjoyed reading this, and you've given me a lot of inspiration for exploring my own style. Once you have your definition honed, maybe I can steal at least part of it! I especially enjoyed reading about the earthy/organic/ethnic and whether these can fit into a single category. I share your struggle with the tomboy/androgyny categories.</p> <p>Becky </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-813010 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 18:40:51 +0000 Astrid 813010@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, that is interesting! I think I actually could borrow a lot of Diana's stuff without feeling strange wearing it and love Rachylou's pinterest pins, even if some are a bit too 'edgy' (I'm not sure what to call it?) for me. Maybe that's her quirky side that I'm lacking. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-813004 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 18:35:06 +0000 ManidipaM 813004@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Diana, I wish! I'd certainly LIKE to be an Artistic Eclectic. But I'm not quite that thoroughly sorted stylistically yet, I fear. </p> <p>I think between you, Astrid and Rachylou, much of my *aspirational style* is pretty well covered, though... Which is a good reason for me to at least insist on Eclectic, given the three of you answer to quite distinct descriptors! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-812982 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 18:15:03 +0000 Diana 812982@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hey, I think you might be an Artistic Eclectic like me!</p> <p>(from Angie's original post on the style personas)<br /> The artistic eclectic – you like novelty and selectively choose fashion trends that tickle your fancy, often ignoring key looks that everyone else has latched onto. You may prefer to dress exotically if you are inspired by a particular culture. Your accessories are unconventional (often vintage), and you always find creative ways of matching them with your ensemble." </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-812979 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 18:13:45 +0000 ManidipaM 812979@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Una, yes, I quite like some of the things Fabindia has too -- it's my go-to for kurtas and cheap summer casuals. The quality of tailoring can be a little bizarrely varied, but on the whole, far sturdier construction and a little more amenable to adventure than the average 'salwar shop'. I adore Anokhi too --- especially because unlike Fabindia, I never have issues with shoulder width there. And I like having Indian textiles in non-ethnic garments. Another similar brand is Soma (which is now also my mainstay for saree blouses!), and their vegetable dyes are the most fade-resistant I've found. Kilol is more like a more feminine Fabindia, but also has the odd interesting piece. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-812962 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 17:54:45 +0000 catgirl 812962@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It is hard to get tailors to veer from their own style ideas. I could never get a sari blouse made that didn't cut off the circulation in my upper arms. Thanks for elucidating and I will continue to ponder on your behalf. I found some FabIndia creations to be pretty in line with what I like (simple lines and easy textured fabrics), but haven't perused many other stores like that. Also a huge fan of Anokhi. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-812948 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 17:46:05 +0000 ManidipaM 812948@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>And 'grounded' I clearly must be! :-o</p> <p>Una, the funny thing is I just. don't. get. along. with any tailor I've met so far, and I steer well clear to save myself frustration --- too many ruined fabrics lie in unsalvageable swathes in my past. I also find it hard to get most tailors (the ones I can afford at least) to understand what I want as I describe a non-traditional cut --- I have *such* a time with saree blouses because I prefer them with darts and not in the usual 'katori cut', IYKWIM ::smh::</p> <p>I'll confess straightaway, though, that a large part of my style dilemma and the gulf between what I want to wear and what I actually wear stems from poor shopping skills. I got too used to doing hardly any shopping in my younger years, because my dad would sew most of my clothes (with the exception of pants, T-shirts and outerwear coats/jackets) right up until I moved out of my hometown. So yeah, life would be way easier with sewing skills or access to a good but affordable tailor with actual shared vocabulary. But I don't see myself having the patience or time to track one down and absorb the mistakes along the way at this particular stage of life. I think I'd better learn to shop instead. Especially as I lack my dad's sewing skills... :-(</p> <p>And funny you should mention churidars, too --- I love having those churis at my ankles! I never wore them in my younger days because something about the shape of my knock-knees would make them either rip or bag just there; but ever since jersey and lycra blends appeared, I've been loving those far more than salwars. I still like the odd salwar with shorter tunics, as I'm not comfy outlining my thighs in lighter weight fabrics; but on the whole, churidars with stretch are the first preference. </p> <p>I had a very long, very dull staid beige phase just before I found YLF. ::shudder:: Never again! I'll readily take that turquoise and hot pink Rajasthani mirrored creation off your hands, thanks! :-p </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-812907 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 17:18:58 +0000 catgirl 812907@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Really thorough analysis, Mani! I'm especially curious about the Indian clothes. I've always felt more at home in churidars, whether they are in style or not - the scrunch and textural heft give me a more grounded feeling (like boots!) than regular salwar styles. Also I avoid certain necklines (sweetheart, mockneck) and puffed or gathered sleeves. Then I always get into confusing conversations about colors (i.e. what I call pastel is what the tailor calls bright, what I call bright is what the tailor calls dark), because a turquoise and pink Rajastani style mirrored creation makes me feel all twitchy, but nor do I want the dull staid beiges my aunts feel I should wear.</p> <p>Given that you can have clothes tailored with relative ease, have you had many things made to suit your style specs in the vein of what you're thinking?</p> <p>ETA: I posted without reading the other comments, and am stunned to see others using the word "grounded"! We are onto something. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-812760 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 15:17:00 +0000 Tina.b 812760@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Manidipa, your interpretation is such a thorough and wonderful assessment of your style. These different elements work together quite harmoniously, but give you a lot of freedom to express your individuality through your choices. Loved reading this, so interesting! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-812743 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 14:56:44 +0000 ManidipaM 812743@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mochi, that stuff is brilliant! Now you've got me craving a pop-top belt to go with the (non-existent) bottle-spun pants! :-D</p> <p>Suz, that is a very, very good point about needing to be 'grounded' --- it's interesting that I find it hardest to shop for shoes I like (after eliminating all those that don't work with fussy feet or for practical reasons). Grounding, indeed! And it might explain why I don't fight other stereotypically feminine elements as strongly as accessories --- floral patterns, pastels, even a judicious bit of lace are fine by me. So what I'm looking for is some kind of heft... of the sleeker sort? </p> <p>It's odd that a short, rectangular, rounded woman should want to add heft --- at least going by conventional 'rules' of figure flattery. But it does instinctively feel right for me to add a certain amount of stubbiness or chunkiness somewhere, or I feel... cast adrift. Maybe it is about echoing proportions as much as eschewing the too airy. </p> <p>And indeed, Earthy could well represent that aspect as well. Freeing up a fifth sign... wonder what I could make of that now? Many, many thanks for playing sounding board and fellow sign-painter! :-p Have to love a writer's facility with words when it comes to defining the intangible! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-812705 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 14:35:16 +0000 Suz 812705@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>These descriptors seem exceptionally accurate to me, reflective of your actual style and inspirational for you going forward. I can see Caro's point (you could fold the three E's into organic) but I'm not sure it would help you all that much in the picking of items. </p> <p>As for "Tomboy" I can see both its attraction and its problems for you. Maybe "grounded" (which also seems to fit naturally with organic) is another way of thinking about it. There *is* something deeply grounded in your physical presence (evidenced by the pics) and in your character (judging from your writing) and your style MUST reflect that -- anything too airy and feminine and TOO floaty will deny it. Although - now that I think of it, "earthy" encapsulates this idea very well in itself, though to me, "eco" does not. (Eco is good, just doesn't capture that idea). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-812677 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 14:00:18 +0000 Mochi 812677@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This merits a much better response than I'm going to give you here, but right now I'm rushing....this is as usual so well-thought out and expressed and I love your thoughts. Just thought I'd throw you this link, for fun....I saw one of their bags in person and it was amazing...</p> <p><a href="http://www.escamastudio.com/products.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.escamastudio.com/products.html</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-812598 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 09:39:18 +0000 ManidipaM 812598@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Excellent reminder re Westwood! Thanks, Caro! In fact, as I was saying above, I don't think I'm necessarily after androgyny (hence the suspicion attached to the 'tomboy' tag) --- yet Vivienne Westwood's version of even the feminine is often sorta, uh... subversive? I like that attitude!</p> <p>About the organic label, do you think it would be as readily and generally understood to include ethnic inspiration or the 3 Rs without further explanation, though? I can readily see it standing in for 'earthy' or 'natural' certainly. And if it worked, I'd have room to squeeze in another descriptor (more hectic fun!)... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-812595 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 09:28:38 +0000 Caro in Oz 812595@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Love where you are going with this - I think things will really start to gel for you.<br /> Just some thoughts -<br /> Could earthy/eco/ethnic fit under organic? As in natural fabrics &amp; dyes more movement either from pattern or the shape of the garment.<br /> I think you can do androgynous whatever your shape - think Vivienne Westwood as opposed to Annie Lennox (I'm showing my age here).<br /> Sleek can also be the masculine element - the cut of a tuxedo &amp; black patent leather shoes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-812587 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 09:03:45 +0000 ManidipaM 812587@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rachy, that's a very interesting observation for me --- thank you! I've never managed to think of myself as sleek before --- I'm going to have to figure out how to keep that in place when I'm going with multiple patterns and textures. I do like the idea of effortless and streamlined, which possibly (hopefully?) heads a little sleekwards in practice!</p> <p>Natalie, thank you! And give me a hint as to your preferred flavours... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-812586 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 08:50:39 +0000 rachylou 812586@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think your words are accurate. I find, though, you have a very sleek thread that ties it all together into something modern.</p> <p>Also, I agree about shoes and sarees. A hard match. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-812581 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 08:24:04 +0000 goldenpig 812581@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Manidipa, I am in awe of your introspective abilities--great insights and I agree with your choices! Your outfits are always so multi-dimensional and rich in patterns, colors, textures. So glad you have figured out your style--I love it!</p> <p>Oh, and I'd love some cake... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-stab-at-self-definition-long-winded-better-boil-the-teapot#post-812578 Wed, 09 Jan 2013 08:11:17 +0000 ManidipaM 812578@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Angie's year-in-retrospect thread (<a href="http://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/post-your-own-favourite-outfits-of-2012-here" rel="nofollow">http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....-2012-here</a>) made me look harder at what I liked --- and looked like --- last year.</p> <p>And responding to today's UWP thread, I felt myself groping in the dark for a sense of my own style again. Much of last year, I told myself to be patient: it would make sense in the end, surely? But contrasting myself to UWP actually helped clarify --- just a little --- what IS my actual (as opposed to fantasy/aspirational) attitude.</p> <p>I'm not 100% there yet, but I thought I'd take a stab at identifying key elements I'm attracted to and take it from there. Those of you who've seen my older outfits, feel free to weigh in for or against these descriptors! </p> <p>I'm attempting Angie's five-adjective definition, per Caro's suggestion in another thread. Not all of these appear at once in my outfits, or even at all. But they do, I think, inform the choices I'm happiest with --- and I want to embody them better in future.</p> <p>1. Eco/Earthy --- How's that for an abstract start?! And I wondered for a while whether this is really a subset of Ethnic (see 3 below). But seriously, even in a classic button-down shirt, I'll often choose the one with wooden or pearl buttons over the plastic one, all things being equal. I like natural materials, and not just because they suit me from a tactile perspective (another possible point of confusion due to my sensitive skin) --- I like knowing they are ORGANIC (even if traditionally grown), biodegradable, in a sense both timeless and evanescent. I also have a weakness for recycled/reclaimed materials --- I was so sad they didn't have the pants made from plastic bottles in my size and I've been craving this clutch crafted out of a Tropicana juice pack!</p> <p>2. Eclectic? --- I'm not sure if this is the most descriptive, um, description. I'd love another, more specific label if someone can see one. Essentially, this represents the whimsical as well as the unexpected and unique: The owl pendant hiding a watch between its wings, worn with the tweed skirt and Chinoiserie-inspired jacket. The one-of-a-kind garment that defies a name (is it a shirt or a jacket or a cardigan? skirt or dress or smock? slingback or mary janes or gladiator?). The juxtaposition of casual and dressy or of traditional Indian and modern Western (something Angie suggested for me when I first started posting). The wedding band with the stone dangling off instead of fixed. Even the piling up of elements in excess (five different prints, all different buttons in the same garment, embroidery-on-applique-on-patchwork...).</p> <p>3. Ethnic --- One of the easier ones. Given my own cultural background, 'ethnic' often means 'Indian'; but not always. Sometimes it can mean Cambodian inspiration or basketry from Botswana. But I generally like having an element around me with a specific cultural provenance. This can extend to nostalgic or old-fashioned jewellery or a modern rendition of a traditional craft (many Indian textiles and handicrafts are amenable to this). I'm often drawn to 'heritage' patterns --- Liberty florals and tweeds, paisleys and plaids, ikat and batik, kimono prints...</p> <p>4. Textural --- Easiest one so far. Not just tactile, I also love visual texture and texture in motion (which means hectic patterns sometimes, a delight in false plains, moving folds and drapes that change in the wearing...). Depth and dimension are what I'm looking for. I like not having too many elements in an outfit. When busiest or warmest, I will eschew all accessories. Yet if my garments are too flat, simple and solid, I feel like a paper doll --- lacking dimension. There are people who look great in solid dark-washed jeans, white T-shirt, red ballet flats and yellow bag; but unless there was interesting texture in at least one or two of those, I'd feel less than confident in that outfit, even if I admire it from afar and even if I look fine in the mirror.</p> <p>5. Tomboy?? --- This is the toughest one. I'm still grappling with the idea of this. I'm not sure if it is exactly tomboy-ish that I mean. But this is a tendency I've suppressed for a long time, so I'm taking my time teasing it out in the open. I'm no longer comfortable being entirely conventionally feminine or ladylike in the way I dress or present myself. I often *feel* 'too pretty', even if it looks right, when I wear a pair of ballet flats or pumps with a skirt or dress. I crave boots, or oxfords, or gladiators --- something less feminine, something more masculine or at least gender neutral, a 'stubbier' shoe. The same thing happens with Indian tunics, where I feel 'too girly' if I wear the traditional 3-piece set the conventional way (scarf across shoulders, very minimal thong-style footwear) --- I feel better if I can change my shoes to a more substantial, less ladylike style, even if it is just a more gender-neutral style of Indian slipper; with the scarf worn one-shouldered or across the neck as a man might, or simply left off; if there is a collar or other masculine styling incorporated in the tunic. A floral shirt feels better with a more neutral pair of straight-leg pants or jeans than the conventionally-more-feminine coloured skinnies. I'm still struggling to find a shoe that feels 'right' with a saree, and consequently rarely wear sarees, much as I love them! (Maybe I should try slipper flats.) On the other hand, I'm not really aiming for androgynous (think my body shape militates against that!) so much as juxtaposition or neutrality.</p> <p>Thanks for reading, if you had the patience! I'll remember to bake you a tea cake, or Indian scones if you prefer, next time you drop in </p>