YouLookFab Forum » Topic: A long and random post

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: A long and random post https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 21 Apr 2026 18:07:47 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Jaime on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356467 Mon, 01 Apr 2024 01:14:39 +0000 Jaime 2356467@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you Style Fan - and good to hear that it is a local. I am somehow not surprised the situation is better in Montreal . Thank you Sharan! Firecracker (Sharan) on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356456 Sun, 31 Mar 2024 21:16:25 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 2356456@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh, good to hear you had a nice visit with family! Style Fan on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356454 Sun, 31 Mar 2024 20:58:10 +0000 Style Fan 2356454@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Jaime, I am also on Team Enclothed Cognition. I need to feel like my clothes fit me on many levels.   I have been to Florida (St. Augustine, Jacksonville) six times over the last ten years and have been underwhelmed by the B&M offerings.   I have been shopping in Montreal and found the B&M to be wonderful. The footwear is amazing. There is a whole store of Birkenstocks just a block from our apartment! There are leather sneakers of every colour and different styles. I have also had success shopping for other things. Your hair looks fantastic. The YSL sweater is fun. I looked up the information on the AB shoe. They look lovely.     Jaime on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356435 Sun, 31 Mar 2024 00:46:54 +0000 Jaime 2356435@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you so much for your thoughtful responses. avicennia - I like to have both chunky and more refined shoes and am drawn to both. I am also enjoying some extremely low kitten heels after a lifetime of avoiding most heels of any kind. And I very much appreciate your kind thoughts. Sharan - Thank you. It wasn't that the trip was awful - my main purpose was to see family and that was happily fulfilled. But it was surprising to see the retail situation and really thought provoking not to wear my own clothes. kkards - At this point I think I can shop my closet for almost any trend that comes around. Honestly I have always found retail shopping dispiriting - I remember dreading trips to the mall as a kid. All that sameness. I am definitely a treasure hunter at heart, which is why I love thrifting so much. Thank you Vicki. I might post more about enclothed cognition specifically because I think it would be interesting to hear more about everyone's experiences. I wrote more about the bra at the end of my comment above, and would be happy to answer any other questions. And to hear about your experience with Knix.  Vicki on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356399 Fri, 29 Mar 2024 19:09:00 +0000 Vicki 2356399@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Wonderful post, Jaime, and I can see why you’re smiling because all the photos look fantastic. I completely relate to the feel of brick and mortar and found your comments on enclothed cognition fascinating because you experienced it real time. I know I would feel the same way, like an out of body experience and I have to have these “familiars” that make me who I am. Yes, I would be very interested in your information on the bra as I’ve not heard of that brand. I have a Knix bra coming that @MsMary recommended. As I am looking for some comfortable ballet flats with memory foam sole (for a trip) I checked out @gryffin’s Link about the dressy kitten heels you referenced. At this point in my life I really want soft, surrendering shoes with support. Your post was most helpful in many ways. kkards on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356390 Fri, 29 Mar 2024 16:47:31 +0000 kkards 2356390@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Love the coat, cuffs and pointed toes in #1.  So on trend and love that it’s all from thrifted/2nd hand pieces!  argyle sweaters can be so preppie, but with the way your styled it it’s reads so much more hip than preppie, nicely done. <div>And yes, B&M, at least here, is so depressing.  It’s same same everywhere and very little in the way of newness.  </div> Firecracker (Sharan) on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356372 Fri, 29 Mar 2024 04:14:17 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 2356372@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <div>First, the WIWs. You look terrific, as always! I love the coat (and the whole outfit with it--the pointy toed booties are so chic). The argyle sweater and creepers are super fun together (and how neat about the subtle YSL in the argyle design). The outfit with the new shoes and jeans is the crème de la crème in my book, though. Wow! And your haircut tops it off gorgeously.</div><div>What a fascinating post about a rather unsettling travel experience. It sounds as if everything seemed quite surreal. I can only imagine the disconnect of literally wearing someone else's clothes. And to have such dispiriting shopping options. What should have been a fun respite sounds like it was anything but. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your lovely inspiring self and wardrobe with us. </div> avicennia on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356369 Fri, 29 Mar 2024 03:11:44 +0000 avicennia 2356369@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ The new shoes are stunning in pic #3. I first clicked on the finds link and didn’t quite get “it” until I saw how you styled them. Wow! The shoes really pull the outfit together. I’ve been headed in the opposite shoe direction — chunky, less refined — so it’s good to open my eyes to new look. I also think of you often in these very difficult times. Jaime on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356366 Fri, 29 Mar 2024 02:46:40 +0000 Jaime 2356366@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am delighted so many of you relate to my feelings wearing my sister's clothes. And the funny thing is that I give her so many of her clothes - but of course I pick things that are right for her, not me. (Bra details at the bottom for those that asked.) Suz - Interesting point about enhoused (?) cognition. I really don't like being away from home, but always connected it to other reasons, but the parallel is there. Will contemplate further. Creepers were just big enough for a comfy insole . elpgal - Another interesting point! Wearing clothes that belonged to a past self rather than someone else can also create dissonance. Lots to think about.  Runcarla - I was in SE Florida (Boynton Beach). Florida is so big I am sure things are different in every area. Good you had better luck than me, regardless.  Thank you pirouette! Yes, wearing one's sister's clothes might have even more layers to it than someone else's now that you mention it. Even though I am very close to my sister, there must be some inherent tension from defining our own personalities. April - It is unsettling. Samson with his hair cut off vibe really.  Yes I love the full volume curls too, but it gets chaotic as you know . Dee thank you! I can imagine seeing pictures of yourself in a borrowed jacket would be jarring. Who is that person? RobinF - Right! It is surprising, or maybe not. And thank you! Roberta - it was enlightening. Although I have read about enclothed cognition in the context of work, I have seen less about it as essential to our sense of self. Thank you slim cat! Fun but wearable pieces is my goal! Brooklyn - Ha - Florida is not normal . But a different from of abnormal was a good change. Thank you the coat is vintage of course, Georges Rech in case you want to start a hunt. Suntiger - Yes! I wonder if some uniforms are meant to keep the workers off balance. Thank you Sal. Honestly I go between anger, despair and then crawl back to dissociation a bit too often. phoebe I love that! You should post about one of your experiments. Jonesy - you paint the perfect (and accurate) picture! I am impressed. But don't feel too badly, every evening was happy hour chez my sister and that made up for everything. Bonnie, yes. For me it was both expressing myself, but also being myself, if that makes sense. Angie - Thank you! Although it has been clear from the beginning how much you do to support your clients (and all of us!) psychologically, and I know you are very interested in enclothed cognition. I hadn't quite felt viscerally how much are presentation supports us.  Regarding the bra - I have been wearing Chantelle's underwire t-shirt bra for years (just replacing the exactly same model as needed). But, truthfully, they are out of the house bras for me and I would always switch to something softer at home. I have fairly large breasts, that have seen a lot of breastfeeding and a very big twins pregnancy and I need support. I had read about the Evelyn & Bobbie Defy bra somewhere doing bra research and decided to try. So I was on the border of small and medium so took a medium. The information said that it would take a few days to loosen up and fit perfectly but I found it super comfortable right away. But it doesn't provide the support of my underwire bras. It is better than my home bras but not what I want when I am in public. I am wondering if I had gone with the smaller size the support would have been better. Apart from that it is a slip on, which is not ideal. But, on the other hand, it is truly so comfortable. I would definitely consider ordering another size or model in the future. Hope that helps! Bonnie on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356362 Fri, 29 Mar 2024 00:52:31 +0000 Bonnie 2356362@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Love those AB shoes and the black coat is lovely, too. I've noticed that I don't care to wear other people's clothes, even if they are perfectly fine and fit well. So much of our personality is expressed in our clothing choices, I guess.  Jonesy on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356356 Thu, 28 Mar 2024 23:17:45 +0000 Jonesy 2356356@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Love the coat, the argyle sweater, and the creepers! I think your hair always looks fab. It sounds like your trip was a little weird--underwhelming thrifting is not what you want on a vacation! I can totally relate to the sense of not feeling like yourself when wearing your sister's clothes. When I visit my SO's family, even though I've brought my own clothes, I still don't really feel like myself because I've had to adapt so much to the conditions and expectations that what I end up wearing isn't really me. So I can imagine it was even more intense wearing her clothes, while rummaging around solo in sad thrift shops! phoebe on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356353 Thu, 28 Mar 2024 23:06:11 +0000 phoebe 2356353@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ How annoying that the shopping was a disappointment. It used to be especially fun in Florida because the weather made wearable many styles that would not be in colder temps. I have actually enjoyed wearing things that were "not like me" and experiencing the way other people respond as a sort of social science experiment. Sal on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356352 Thu, 28 Mar 2024 23:05:47 +0000 Sal 2356352@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think of you often Jaime and it must be so challenging right now. I agree that we have got into a position where in person shopping is often quite disappointing. Not always but in between the flagship stores and the true boutique it feels a bit grim. Love your new hair, the creepers and your cool coats. I recall being cold on vacation one year and borrowing clothes from MIL - It was hard. A good reminder why clothing is more than just practical! Suntiger on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356349 Thu, 28 Mar 2024 22:28:48 +0000 Suntiger 2356349@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Big yes to enclothed cognition! I've had to wear uniforms for different jobs, and felt absolutely awful about myself when wearing them :/ Glad you were able to get away for a bit, and yes, hair looked great! Brooklyn on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356348 Thu, 28 Mar 2024 22:04:38 +0000 Brooklyn 2356348@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I’m glad you got to have a holiday and hopefully enjoy some normality. Love your outfits. Particular love for no 1. A bit of envy too. I’d love a mandarin collar coat or jacket. So hard to find. Your hair looks fab in pic 1 but I understand the styling challenges of keeping curls and waves in check, especially with warmer weather coming. The cut looks fab. Angie on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356329 Thu, 28 Mar 2024 17:07:12 +0000 Angie 2356329@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Welcome back Jaime, and hope you had a great trip! Good you could get out and see loved ones :) Welcome to Team Enclothed Cognition! YES! These feelings are very real, and I totally relate. It's why I have a job!  Glad you brought home great haul! Go Team Wear! KILLER hair and white creepers. Lovely bookending too :)  And that sublime coat in #1 loves you right back! slim cat on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356327 Thu, 28 Mar 2024 17:03:45 +0000 slim cat 2356327@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Great pics - love black coat and blue sweater in second picture! You have many fun pieces in your collection! Roberta on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356320 Thu, 28 Mar 2024 15:39:31 +0000 Roberta 2356320@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oooh, the creepers are so good. In the late 80s I had three pairs of Hush Puppies in this style: powder blue, black, and pink. All with contrasting piping and laces. What I wouldn't do to have those shoes back. I can't remember ever HAVING to borrow someone else's clothes. I don't think I ever had a friend who was my size in that sense. Just the thought of it makes my skin itch. Although you never know, how might I have been enlightened by the experience? I have been given several items by a particular friend, that I loved and broadened my perspective on what I could wear. But that's very different from being forced into the wardrobe of another person. RobinF on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356302 Thu, 28 Mar 2024 12:21:54 +0000 RobinF 2356302@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Love that black coat! I can see why it is a favorite. I totally agree with feeling off in someone else's clothes. I haven't had to borrow very often but even the thought of it makes me feel anxious. Interesting! Dee on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356301 Thu, 28 Mar 2024 12:08:37 +0000 Dee 2356301@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I can see why that coat is a favourite, it looks terrific on you. Such a fun sweater and shoe combo in photo#2. Glad you finally found those AB shoes to enjoy, lovely haircut too. Oh I so get the enclothed cognition concept, I was in Seattle recently and had to borrow a spring rain-jacket to wear, and it wasn’t the sort of style of jacket I’d normally wear either. It felt totally off and now I’ve got a bunch of photos of me seeing the sights of Seattle in it lol. I just “gotta be me” I guess and that was so not me. April on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356299 Thu, 28 Mar 2024 11:03:53 +0000 April 2356299@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ 100% with you on "enclothed cognition". Knowing who you are is one thing; knowing you're not dressed like who you are is quite unsettling. Another vote for bra details. And another member of the "too many coats and the need for more" club.  Although I *adore* your hair in photo 1, I am very aware of how tricky it is to keep those curls on the one side when they get long and glad you got a fresh cut.  pirouette on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356294 Thu, 28 Mar 2024 07:56:43 +0000 pirouette 2356294@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ As someone who needs a large variety of coats all year round for our weather in Ireland I never tire of looking at your coats Jamie. This one is lovely especially as it’s black my favourite. I love your haircut you have great hair it always makes you look so stylish. I am the same size as my sister so I often borrow her clothes when I go to France where she lives. I never look as good as her in them and never relax wearing them. Much prefer wearing my own stuff. Carla on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356288 Thu, 28 Mar 2024 05:32:55 +0000 Carla 2356288@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Well, I just came back from Florida (12 day trip).  DH and I were very specific about the stores we visited and had very specific lists.  DH scored a couple of the exact brand of golf shirt he loves, and was able to get fun colours (orange! lilac!) that you don’t really see in the limited selection we have at home’.   <div> </div><div>I couldn’t find what I wanted from JCrew.  I enjoyed the Nordstrom Rack.  I zeroed in on dresses at the one thrift store I visited, and had success.  I would have liked to explore shops more, especially thrift, but had other folks to consider, and a long list of places to go and things to see!  I didn’t get a real feel for where B&M is, but the (outdoor) malls we visited were busy.  I was thinking Florida would be a good place to shop for the upcoming S/S season and that I would be unlikely to find wool and cashmere sweaters! :-D Note: the $2.50 chambray dress looks great after washing and is now in the-to-be-ironed pile. </div> elpgal on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356286 Thu, 28 Mar 2024 05:19:42 +0000 elpgal 2356286@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I would love to hear more about the bra. I feel absolutely terrible and out of sorts when I wear clothes I loved in the past and saved. It’s not the fit or the outdatedness because some of the pieces ate ‘timeless’ but just a pervasive sense of nostalgia and weirdness . Suz on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356283 Thu, 28 Mar 2024 04:22:06 +0000 Suz 2356283@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Well, you look fab. I was loving the uncut hair until I saw the cut hair, which I loved even more! It always feels great to get it freshly cut, right?  That coat is fab. And the new sweater is fun, and so are the shoes! Are they comfy?  Enclothed cognition: I haven't had exactly this experience, no -- although I do always feel odd when borrowing someone else's jacket or whatever, as I had to do on my recent trip to Vancouver, for a hike. I do know what you mean, though, because times when we have had long-term rentals of furnished places -- I've always been fine with it for a short period, but after a couple of weeks I start feeling anxious and less than "at home" and usually have to do something to redecorate the place to make it feel more mine but even then, it doesn't feel like "my" space and that always leaves me a bit ill at ease. Even if I love the place, as I loved the first Vancouver house we rented, 20 years ago.  Jaime on "A long and random post" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-long-and-random-post#post-2356279 Thu, 28 Mar 2024 03:14:15 +0000 Jaime 2356279@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <div>I went to Florida about 6 weeks ago for a quick trip to see family. I have been back for over a month, but I have had a very hard time dealing with various realities and could not focus my mind on the experience.</div><div>So I will try bullet points .</div><div>Retail brick and mortar sales look dismal. Everything is so readily available online (and so quickly!) that it seems that only supermarkets are fully stocked. (Of course this very local and specific.)</div><div>Thrifting - I had a lot of time to thrift and it was extremely underwhelming. All my interesting purchases were made online on Poshmark, TheRealReal and Depop prior to my arriving. </div><div>Enclothed cognition - Due to the nature of the trip (me travelling solo and my sister working most days) I knew I would have a lot of time to thrift. Thus I under packed and ended up having to borrow some tops from my sister until I got sorted. Not wearing things that felt me had a devastating effect on my self image! I literally did not feel like me. I was surprised how powerful this was for me. I would be curious to know if anyone else has had an experience like this. I am still processing it. </div><div>Haul What I took home (apart from cooking utensils for DH and various toiletries for me and DDs):</div><div>Everlane shortie jeans, Allison Bornstein shoes - I have been eyeballing these since they came out a couple of years ago, and then gryffin <a rel="nofollow" href="https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/psa-jack-erwin-allison">https://youlookfab.com/welookf.....in-allison</a> recommended them, and it has taken this long for them to show up on the second hand market (a good sign btw), and a Defy bra from Evelyn & Bobbie (retail). If anyone is interested in the bra, let me know and I will say more. Also a lip color that I love! This has been a years long quest for me. I really don't have any photos to share from the trip but will add a couple of old and new thrift store selfies. #1 Sorry about the spotty mirror but this is my last coat selfie of the year and it is one of my favorite coats (among many).  #2 Two other fun finds - Underground creepers (!) and a vintage YSL men's sweater in argyle (if you look closely the white is the YSL logo). #3 Just yesterday, wearing my Everlane jeans and AB shoes. And after a well needed haircut . Thanks for looking! All comments, questions and wise cracks welcome. </div><div></div>