https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 10 Apr 2026 21:37:39 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback/page/2#post-1004644 Tue, 13 Aug 2013 03:16:35 +0000 pil 1004644@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Haven't been around much the last couple of days - but I REALLY appreciate the honest and helpful feedback Una is talking about! It is so very helpful when forum members take the time to post and offer suggestions and observations about individual pieces and combinations that would never cross my mind. I'm still fumbling around with my wardrobe and don't feel like I have yet found my style - maybe I'll actually develop one at some point </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback/page/2#post-1003957 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 03:18:22 +0000 annagybe 1003957@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm guilty of having some recent meltdowns over comments. Mostly it was outward and wrongly directed workplace stress. Also I finally stated I didn't think my commuting outfits needed to be perfect or entirely me every time.<br />I have a such a strong style personality that I take many comments with a large grain of salt. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback/page/2#post-1003902 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 02:08:11 +0000 amiable 1003902@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love this kind of feedback (if only because it implies that I have a style - even though I'm not sure what it is)! &nbsp;Like so many others have said - what's said here is almost always said in kindness and with good intentions, and it's really really useful when people can be honest in a kind way. &nbsp;I love that about this forum. &nbsp;</p> <p>And I know I'm one of the less "I have it together" members, BUT, for me, it's so very helpful that people here are willing to put the effort in to help me learn. &nbsp;That's what I'm here for </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback/page/2#post-1003897 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 01:57:06 +0000 Lisa 1003897@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I try to be honest and helpful.&nbsp; If I feel I know the person's style well, I will speak up if I think a potential purchase is not going to work.&nbsp; Other times, I try to suggest an outfit remix, I figure I'm always looking for new ideas, maybe they are too.&nbsp; At the bare minimum I try to pick out what I like about the outfit so the person knows what is working (color, fit etc). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback/page/2#post-1003430 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 04:12:13 +0000 Anonymous 1003430@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Una, I really appreciate members pointing out any and all things I may not be considering. When I posted a K/R of very comfortable quirky black shoes, I needed to be reminded that they weren't really my style. Now I am relieved that they have been returned. One can decide for themselves whether or not to take advice. I tend to get blinded by comfort or a great price and need honest feedback. I think most people on the forum want that or they wouldn't be asking. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback/page/2#post-1003373 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 02:35:58 +0000 rachylou 1003373@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think about this, and like to give "outs" when I comment about something not seeming to be a person's style. On the one hand it's good to leave room to grow and sometimes people need to let the true self show. On the other, for example, I'm personally working on developing more consistency and integrity in my "fashion messaging."</p> <p>I mean, I like to make up outfits because I think they'd be pretty or striking, but they don't always have anything to do with me and my life. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback/page/2#post-1003365 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 02:15:08 +0000 Sona 1003365@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>ok I think his is what I said&nbsp; ( quotes below0and Rae you seemed ok with my comments...phew. I tend to focus my comments more on fit and style rather than style aesthetic. So I dontt really fixate on or remember most of our monikers!</p> <p>"I love both outfits. Let the style shift happen subtly. don't overthink it. you have great style and will ease into your new direction. Let fashion be your therapy- you have a lot going on. just enjoy and let be...... the butterfly will emerge...at her own pace...in whatever new avatar....from UWP to .....unknown as yet. (UAY). "</p> <p>Sorry Una to usurp your thread for&nbsp; a bit. I love suggestions and constructive criticism and also a&nbsp; more general " something seems off but I cannot quite figure out what it is". Nothing is constant. let alone style. pigeon holing someone as UWP or ALGO or whatever stunts growth I think. As Angie says have fun above all. Even if it ain't your regular style, your work out style, you vacation style or whatever. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback/page/2#post-1003359 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 02:08:23 +0000 rae 1003359@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Deb, I actually meant the opposite. I have always found it confusing and less constructive to get a comment saying something, is not UWP... Because at that point so much gets lost in translation of these made up terms. There is no universal UWP or 00noir definition after all. I DO find it really helpful If someone who knows me says it does not look like me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback/page/2#post-1003358 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 02:06:57 +0000 Sona 1003358@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oops. I've been on vacation this whole week. just saw this thread. I may have tried to sound funny somewhere Rae and tried to come up with a new moniker&nbsp; for you albeit&nbsp; in a lighter vein.<br />I think the problem with print as opposed t voice is that a lot of what we are trying to 'say' can come off sounding different than our primary intention. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback/page/2#post-1003356 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 02:00:05 +0000 Suz 1003356@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It doesn't bother me if someone says this. It's up to me to weigh it and decide what importance I'll give to that thought. I find it useful information. Sometimes it's a valuable reminder that will help prevent me from going off the rails. Sometimes it's just a reflection of that person's particular bias about me or the style aspirations I've named. And sometimes it's a clue that my style is evolving. I might not have seen the signs yet -- this person does.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback/page/2#post-1003348 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 01:25:23 +0000 nancylee 1003348@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I like this kind of feedback. &nbsp;If a fellow YLFer knows my style well enough to examine a new piece and determine if it's my style or not, I feel like I'm getting advice from a trusted friend. &nbsp;And if the new piece is a departure from my style, this kind of feedback can lead me to think&nbsp;about whether this is a potential style misstep...or maybe a new direction I'm headed.</p> <p>No worries here! &nbsp;"It doesn't seem like your style" is welcome advice in my book, Una. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback/page/2#post-1003288 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 23:42:42 +0000 ManidipaM 1003288@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I actually find such comments helpful and even bolstering, even if (or especially if) it comes as a blindsider. Even though my first reaction may be defensive, I appreciate the help in the end.</p> <p>It means I may not be communicating my style goals well or not realising them. Both can be improved.</p> <p>It also means someone has taken time to try to put themselves in my (very differently sized) shoes, with whatever degree of success. And often also means they have been watching me long enough to get somewhat of a handle on my preferences! This warms the cockles of my heart.</p> <p>Keep on keeping on, Una, please. (Everyone else too.)</p> <p>Gaylene and Marley, you know, I thought that too---then decided it wasn't such a bad thing as it reassures those feeling shy or sensitive or beleaguered that we *care*. Many of us need that from time to time, from strangers and nit just friends and family. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback#post-1003282 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 23:24:47 +0000 ironkurtin 1003282@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You know, I think a polite and well-phrased response is also nice to get from the poster, as well as from postees - especially if someone else inadvertently treads on toes.&nbsp; Everyone in this forum is well-meaning, so if we assume positive intent we probably can't go wrong. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback#post-1003280 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 23:23:58 +0000 Caro in Oz 1003280@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Like a lot of other members I don't see the point (for me) if I don't get honest answers. Praise is nice but growth is why I'm here.</p> <p>I usually qualify <b>my </b>responses with imo or I think - because it is my opinion &amp; the other person always has the choice to accept or reject it :)</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback#post-1003276 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 23:10:17 +0000 Marley 1003276@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I was thinking the same thing that Gaylene said - seems like there&nbsp;has been&nbsp;a lot of energy being put into feedback content/intent lately.&nbsp; In light of several threads over the last couple of weeks, I have made a mental note to myself as to what kind/type of feedback I can freely give to certain members.&nbsp; Its not really all that&nbsp;easy though&nbsp;- and I'm sure that I'll mess up and put foot in mouth at times - but, that's just the way it seems to be with some of the members right now.&nbsp; I really try to pay attention to what someone says/asks in their WIW posts - and not go any further in my response than what they have asked for.&nbsp; Of course, those members that I have met in person, and consequently feel as though I "know" them a little better, I feel freer to perhaps go a little further in my comments - but even then, I've learned that I need to be careful.&nbsp; People who post WIWs are really putting themselves out there - its a pretty vulnerable&nbsp;position to be in&nbsp;- so, I am in no way criticizing their feelings or requests - they have every right to be specific about what kind of feedback they are wanting/needing.&nbsp;&nbsp; I just hope that they make that clear in each one of their posts - because I'm not going to be able to remember it otherwise!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback#post-1003252 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 22:07:44 +0000 Beth Ann 1003252@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Una:&nbsp; I think all of us have different feedback personas.&nbsp; I appreciate hearing from you because your style is so different that I know you'll see with a fresh perspective ---which I value.&nbsp; I like your straightforward, but polite manner.&nbsp; It's not necessary, or desirable for everyone to have the same commenting style.</p> <p>I think the more freedom their is on the forum, the more we look to respect and integrate constructive criticism while still feeling good about our own perspectives.&nbsp; I want people to help we grow and develop my style sense!</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback#post-1003249 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 22:03:04 +0000 Deborah 1003249@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Una, I can only speak for myself, but I post with a desire for genuine, constructive comments. When I comment, I try to be honest, constructive and see past my personal likes and dislikes </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback#post-1003246 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 21:57:12 +0000 Gaylene 1003246@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Is it just me, or are there more and more of these threads these days where someone is apologizing for a comment that inadvertently hit a nerve with another forum member? </p> <p>The rule of the YLF forum has always been that comments must be phrased in polite, respectful way. That I totally endorse. But asking each other to take note of individual sensitivities when expressing an opinion seems a bit of a stretch because, in actual fact, we don't <i>really</i> know each other. Reading comments and looking at pictures is not the same as actually spending time with a person in real life.</p> <p>An opinion, is just that, an opinion. Maybe mentally inserting the words <b><i>I think</i></b> before a comment is a better way to interpret the intent of the commenter because it reduces the statement effect of "this doesn't look good". Another person's opinion doesn't need to affect your view unless you choose to adopt that person's perspective. Because, heaven knows, I'd have drunk hemlock if I took all the comments students have made about me over the past thirty years as statements of fact about who (and what) I am as a human being </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback#post-1003239 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 21:40:06 +0000 ironkurtin 1003239@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I always find that an interesting comment because it shows the mental image others have of me.&nbsp; Now, it may not be a CORRECT mental image, but it's always interesting feedback.</p> <p>Also, as you know, I find it relatively easy to ignore comments.&nbsp; : ) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback#post-1003238 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 21:40:03 +0000 shedev 1003238@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think the specific feedback is much more helpful than when&nbsp;we are just trying to be nice. I do try to&nbsp;keep&nbsp;my feedback&nbsp;within the context of the persons aspirational or actual style. It took me a long time to learn to appreciate the things that I have a poison eye for on others and see past&nbsp;my personal taste.<br />If I don't ask for specific feedback, I don't really feel like I should complain when I don't like the feedback I get. I try to remember that some know me better than others and that those with much more refined styles may not love my faded distressed jeans as much as I do. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback#post-1003222 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 21:03:33 +0000 deb 1003222@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rae, I think I posted something about an outfit not looking like 'you' and I am sorry if I offended you. I did not mean it that way and I should have said something more along the lines of not look UMP. Again, I am very sorry. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback#post-1003218 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 20:49:00 +0000 Parsley 1003218@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it's perfectly appropriate to say "That doesn't seem like your style to me" or comments of that sort. And especially if we've said something like "I want my style to go in a more minimalist direction" and then post a really ALGO floral and stripe number or some such, I would expect people here to ask about how that fits in where we see out&nbsp;style going.</p> <p>It would be so boring here if everybody just said things like "That's so fabulous- you look great in purple!" and never gave more feedback than that. The advantage of getting to know people's styles and personalities is that we're able to tell them honestly when something seems appropriate or not.&nbsp;</p> <p>For me personally, I'm confident enough that differences of opinion don't shake me, and I WANT constructive criticism. I can always&nbsp;ignore it if I feel it's not on target.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback#post-1003206 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 20:28:57 +0000 Janet 1003206@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This thread brings to mind when I posted the patterned kitten heels -- <a href="http://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/arent-these-pretty" rel="nofollow">http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....ese-pretty</a> -- which at first glance might not seem to be "my" style. I really appreciated that everyone chimed in and mentioned how they could see those shoes working with my style, but I also would have appreciated it no less if someone had said, "yeah, those are pretty, but do you really see them working for you?" These kind of questions just keep me honest and make me take a more critical look at items, rather than just act on my initial, "Oooh, pretty!" reaction. I will still make my own decision as I don't follow advice blindly, but it's always good to have constructive, thoughtful feedback, and this YLF group is marvelous for that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback#post-1003200 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 20:13:34 +0000 rae 1003200@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Following up from my reply on your pm, I am again sorry for my part in raising this question. For me, there is a difference in saying "x isn't you" versus "x isn't UWP/00noir/modern eclectic/etc." Because as you said, you do know me very well... But monikers in my mind are pretty personal. It wasn't even your comment that made me so confused... You basically said that x looked like the usual and not an evolution. It was.more confusing to have external forces trying to redefine my own moniker. I hope that makes sense and that it didn't rub everyone the wrong way. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback#post-1003174 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 19:44:20 +0000 Diana 1003174@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it's helpful and I value the feedback! Of course, maybe if I'm trying to branch out or try something new, I might not heed your advice... But I still like to know what you think! Basically, feedback is just that, feedback; it's up to the poster whether or not to heed your advice.<br /> Honestly, if I really love something and know I will keep it I probably wouldn't bother to do a k/r post anyway (unless it's something SUPER IMPORTANT like wedding dresses), so if I'm posting a k/r I just assume its clear I want feedback. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback#post-1003169 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 19:36:57 +0000 Gaylene 1003169@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OK, maybe I shouldn't even comment on this thread because I haven't yet posted pictures but I'm going to venture into these waters because I'm transitioning into retirement mode and I'm thinking I'm going to need the forum's assistance in the future.</p> <p>If, and when, I did post a picture, I can't think it would be very useful if forum members started censoring their opinions. Everything is subjective--even a supposedly "objective" comment like "you look good in purple". As others have pointed out, first and foremost we ought to wear what makes us happy, even if it's not to the particular taste of another person. Commenting that "this doesn't seem to fit your style direction" is just as valid, and useful, a comment as "you look great", or "maybe try a more fitted top with that skirt". It's the <b>range</b> of opinions that helps us make better decisions. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback#post-1003163 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 19:27:31 +0000 TraceyLiz65 1003163@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think posting that can be helpful and if it wasn't what someone was looking for, then hopefully they will just take it with a grain of salt and recognize that any and all comments come from the individual's own perspective. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback#post-1003161 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 19:25:34 +0000 biscuitsmom 1003161@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think that is one of the things that really sets this group apart, is that the members can kindly let their honest opinions be known. I would truly miss that... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback#post-1003160 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 19:24:59 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 1003160@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree that all types of constructive feedback are helpful. I think it's up to the poster to clarify if they don't want certain types of feedback, or say, "I'm really just looking for tips on fit" or something like that. And also to take the feedback and do what they will with it. If something were deemed by others to be a little out of my usual style zone, I would want to know. Perhaps it would signal a subtle shift in my direction or a side of my style that I hadn't shown here, rather than indicating that the item wasn't for me. It's all useful stuff to know. </p> <p>It's kind of like getting feedback on anything--a piece of writing, artwork, a performance, a draft proposal--posting WIWs is not all that different. There's a delicate balance in giving and receiving feedback, but as long as we're keeping the spirit helpful and supportive, it should all work. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-general-question-on-feedback#post-1003136 Sat, 10 Aug 2013 18:51:47 +0000 CocoLion 1003136@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh gosh, I wouldn't find YLF very useful if I didn't get the kindly worded but honest feedback I have come to depend on! &nbsp;I love posting K/Rs because no one is afraid to say, "you can do better!" </p>