https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 29 Apr 2026 02:37:10 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-984752 Fri, 19 Jul 2013 08:12:57 +0000 lyn67 984752@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I will paste and copy here the same answer like on one of your other threads here.<br />"Thus I see all my deffects very clear I had no choice other than still love and celebrate my body as it is/was all the way during my life, but am/was/ often afraid whether other people have more competent eyes, so their perception of me may not be that gentle and forgiving as I would like me to believe.. if that makes sense".<br />Just venting:-)) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-970841 Thu, 04 Jul 2013 19:31:40 +0000 TraceyLiz65 970841@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think there really are two types of women ,, those who build themselves up by tearing others down and those who are secure and kind to themselves and revel in building up others! &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-970341 Thu, 04 Jul 2013 01:41:04 +0000 Aziraphale 970341@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it's a case of a twentysomething behaving like an insensitive twit, as many twentysomethings are wont to do. &nbsp;:-)</p> <p>She'll grow up. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-967741 Sun, 30 Jun 2013 19:20:00 +0000 tarzy 967741@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Criticizing your own perfectly fine body for perceived body flaws? Society has a lot to do with that.<br />Criticizing someone else - out loud? That's a mean girl. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-966943 Sat, 29 Jun 2013 06:03:39 +0000 Scarlet 966943@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>First of all I can't imagine saying something like that about anyone to anyone. It just seems so mean. I also work with many twenty somethings, and they say the darnedest things sometimes. The other day one gal was talking about a friend of hers who drinks so heavily he has become chronically ill and has bad liver values. I said, wow, that already, when he is still so young. He must REALLY drink a lot. She was like, well he is not so young; he is over thirty! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-966885 Sat, 29 Jun 2013 02:10:21 +0000 annagybe 966885@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It kind of reminds me&nbsp;of a time I was bowling with a group of friends. I admit that I'm a crap bowler. There was a woman with a group of guys in the next lane. This was when cigar smoking became the super cool thing to do in the 90's. So there was this chick smoking a cigar with her boys, and get this...making fun of my bowling. Seriously!?!? Don't you have have better things to do? I could use other language but this a G rated site. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-966617 Fri, 28 Jun 2013 18:06:17 +0000 rae 966617@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I remember thinking similar things when I was younger... maybe 15 or so. Just wondering why people would let themselves get to the point where they weren't thin anymore... Oh, how I laugh at myself now. I think you are right that this girl will have a revelation one day when her metabolism slows and her body changes. You just don't understand what people are up against sometimes when you are that young... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-966356 Fri, 28 Jun 2013 13:07:44 +0000 Anonymous 966356@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, I have always been of the opinion that since I am not a swimsuit model, I can give three craps about how anyone thinks I look in a swimsuit, but that's me Who cares? I think this one is not worth the analysis. People are just catty at any age group.<br /> I am also fortunate that in my group, no one is checking on anyone's body parts. This one sounds like the good old ole member checking at the guys locker ( Sorry if TMI) Ack, not worth a second thought IMO. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-966328 Fri, 28 Jun 2013 11:50:38 +0000 Eliza 966328@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>At any age, about almost any topic,&nbsp;&nbsp;commenting negatively about the people you are spending the day with is just plain rude (unless one feels they&nbsp;have to speak up about some higher ethical issue)&nbsp;. &nbsp;Now, there will always be those who walk a bit taller once they have put someone else down. &nbsp;As a rule, I don't choose to spend much time with them.&nbsp;</p> <p>Of course, being in your twenties is a different perspective than one has later in life, but it isn't too young to be aware of other people's feelings and what really matters most. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-966214 Fri, 28 Jun 2013 05:10:04 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 966214@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree that some people are just judgmental throughout their lives. But, I do think I was more critical in certain ways when I was a teenager and early 20-something that I no longer am anymore. Maybe it's getting a little bit more perspective, or realizing what a large percentage of things in life I truly can't control that made me a bit more compassionate with both myself and others. </p> <p>I was never skinny or pretty when I was younger so I didn't have the body judgment thing in the traditional way, but I know women who were skinny and lovely when they were young and then life happened as it does and suddenly they realize that it isn't always a matter of willpower; sometimes other things get in the way, either with weight or other health issues or activity level or whatever. Once it's happened to you it's a lot easier to empathize with other people, and maybe to prioritize other aspects of personality and character higher. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-966123 Fri, 28 Jun 2013 03:03:20 +0000 Thistle 966123@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Some girls are just mean, whatever their age, whatever their shape. Perhaps they will move beyond it, perhaps not. I have met truly kind 18 year olds and mean 50 year olds. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-966091 Fri, 28 Jun 2013 02:37:06 +0000 catgirl 966091@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Not that it's about thin and fat, but there's a magnet at my local coffee shop that I love: it says "I wish I was as thin as I was when I thought I was fat."&nbsp;&nbsp; With youth, it's partly insecurity and partly arrogance! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-966035 Fri, 28 Jun 2013 01:13:03 +0000 MovingFashionForward 966035@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Speaking as a 49 year old, I really don't think this is a matter of age. I remember overhearing some extremely catty remarks about me when I was 20, and the catty women were 40ish. Some people are mean-spirited whatever age they are. Others are kind whatever age they are, however 'perfect' or 'imperfect' they look.</p> <p>Sarah </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-965988 Thu, 27 Jun 2013 23:52:24 +0000 Caro in Oz 965988@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is so topical in Australia at the moment. I find it hard to deal with the cult of tearing women to pieces because of their&nbsp;physical characteristics. Some women never grow out of this competitive attitude. It's as if they think - if&nbsp;she's fat or whatever&nbsp;then it makes me look/feel better -&nbsp;I know some who still do it at 60. On one level it's sad on another level we really need change things.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-965978 Thu, 27 Jun 2013 23:39:17 +0000 ironkurtin 965978@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>With age comes maturity.&nbsp; Youth is wasted on the young. Etc.</p> <p>We've all said things that in hindsight - whether a week or years later - were uninformed or superficial. If this gal says this sort of stuff a lot, then yeah, doesn't reflect well on her.&nbsp; If it was just a case of toes hitting tonsils, I'd forgive her.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-965920 Thu, 27 Jun 2013 21:43:32 +0000 Suz 965920@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What Tex, Janet, Glory, said . It seems it's a bit of both. Age <b>and </b>character.</p> <p>And Kim is right -- there is a real pleasure in passing the age where people expect you to be perfect! Or where you imagine they are expecting it. Or passing the age where you care what people think!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-965811 Thu, 27 Jun 2013 18:56:33 +0000 Glory 965811@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh that makes &nbsp;me kind of sad on a few levels. Friends saying hurtful things about friends, women etc. I hope she can sort out that negative speak in her own head and learn how to be a supportive and kind person.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-965767 Thu, 27 Jun 2013 18:21:18 +0000 Janet 965767@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with texstyle. In the "Mean Girls" age, it's sad to hear women tearing each other down.&nbsp;</p> <p>So in answer to your question, I think the answer is both.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-965760 Thu, 27 Jun 2013 18:08:55 +0000 texstyle 965760@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Speaking loud enough for you to hear about one of the "friends" that were invited does say something about that person's character -- to me at least. So, I don't think it's only an age thing. Sure, she will learn that bodies change, but will she ever learn that it's selfish and inappropriate to be negatively critical of a supposed friend, esp. &nbsp;in the presence of other friends? </p> <p>It's not always what you say but how you say it.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-965738 Thu, 27 Jun 2013 17:40:37 +0000 cciele 965738@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it's a mix of both, Mo. Some people will always have a catty nature. But we are all products of our upbringing and the messages that we're bombarded with. It's unfortunate about the images young women are surrounded with, what they think of as fat, and how their own insecurities are projected on others. Body acceptance comes with maturity, I think. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-965735 Thu, 27 Jun 2013 17:35:34 +0000 Kim 965735@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>20 somethings are pretty insecure (as a generalization) and therefore are often a pretty critical bunch (not all, but most, I know I was.)&nbsp; As we age we begin to see the beauty in the body that has birthed babies, run marathons, held dying peoples hands and generally lived and loved.&nbsp; </p> <p>I hope that we demand less of our looks and more of inner self, and we have the lumps and bumps to prove it.</p> <p>I love being 50 something and not having to hold myself to that elusive standard that is out there for those poor girls (internet, airbrushed models bodies as the holy grail.)&nbsp; I love my lumps and bumps and wrinkles. They tell the story of my life.&nbsp; Why would I want to change that?</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-965733 Thu, 27 Jun 2013 17:34:25 +0000 rachylou 965733@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That's an interesting question, Mo. Maturity and comfort in one's own skin or character and personality? There's also a further possible complication to consider, that one might need character and personality to mature and become comfortable in one's own skin. I'll have to really think about it.</p> <p>My off-the-cuff reaction is that we all get the strangest thoughts about what is and what isn't. It's completely by accident, mostly our fault, and we don't even begin to guess at how off we are. The brain tunes in and out at random times, and the things we think are all quite spotty. People write about this from time to time, but my favourite example is from the radio program, <i>This American Life.</i> This guy, when he's 5, hears about the Nielson TV ratings. And as a 5 year old, he thinks a 5-year-old's thought - "Huh! A bunch of people name Nielson rating TV shows." Ok, so but the thing is, he doesn't question - nor ever has occasion to question - this thought until he's 30. Whereupon he's sitting in the lunchroom with his co-workers, when he off-handedly comments, "Isn't it weird they got all these Nielsons to rate TV shows?" and everyone looks at him like he's a dope. 'Cuz he is.</p> <p>Anyways, I'm thinking this girl's "fat" is the equivalent of this guy's "Nielson TV ratings." The question is, at what exact point did she misidentify what fat-looking is? Is she perhaps mistaking curvature for fat? And is there anything that will get her to snap out of it?</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-day-at-the-beach---impressions-on-body-image-by-age#post-965687 Thu, 27 Jun 2013 16:39:52 +0000 Mo 965687@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I went to the beach yesterday with some friends after our work meeting yesterday. &nbsp;Five of us girls, from 24 to 43 (me). &nbsp;An interesting thing, my BF told me later he overheard one of the 20 somethings commenting on how fat one of the 30 somethings looked in her swimsuit. &nbsp;Now, yes, she may have a bit of a belly, and is working on it, but none of us is what anyone would call fat. &nbsp;<br />On the contrary, I remember seeing my two 30 something friends with a little jiggle here or there and felt comforted in the fact that we as women, and especially as we get older, or have children, do not in fact look like supermodels, nor should we berate ourselves or each other&nbsp;for not looking like one! &nbsp;In fact, as waitresses, all of us run around a lot every day and lead fairly physical lives. (as an aside, the older girls rode their bikes to the beach, the young ones drove there)<br />I also remembered how my own body looked in my early 20's vs. now in my early 40's. &nbsp;I can't help but think this catty young gal has some changes in store she can't imagine at this point in her life lol. &nbsp;So, my take was, "yay, we are all just human after all!", while hers was a negative view. &nbsp;We were both looking at the same bodies, but from our different perspectives.&nbsp;&nbsp;<br />So, I wonder if this is a question of maturity and comfort in growing into one's own skin, or is it more a question of one's character and general personality? &nbsp;&nbsp; </p>