https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 29 Apr 2026 21:06:34 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice/page/2#post-921760 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 17:22:05 +0000 Elly 921760@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Deborah-- Thank you.<br /><br />I just wanted to thank everyone for their support and suggestions. We are doing alright. Monday and Tuesday were very hard days last week, but the service was on Wednesday. It was very short notice again, but turned out to be a very fitting tribute. Although I am still concerned about my SO, he seems to be handling things in a healthy way. I'm going to do&nbsp; my best to be there for our friend's partner, but at the moment she is well taken care of and surrounded by family support. There are several fund-raising efforts in place (because of his medical bills) and I've volunteered&nbsp; my labor. <br /><br />Although far from normal, life is starting to get back into the swing and I guess we are just trying to appreciate how lucky we all are to have each other and by being extra patient and loving. <br /><br />I appreciate all the support. <br /><br /><br /><br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice/page/2#post-920555 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 04:08:04 +0000 Deborah 920555@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Elly, just thinking of you and wondering how you are all doing? https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice/page/2#post-919901 Sun, 28 Apr 2013 10:04:16 +0000 ManidipaM 919901@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm so very sorry to be reading this, Elly.<br /><br />Before I got to your update, I was just thinking that the best thing you might do for your friend (the surviving partner) is to be there for her and her children even more after his passing than right now. <br /><br />A friend of mine lost her partner, then just 23 years old, two years ago. Looking at my friend now, this is what occurs to me:&nbsp;Often, the bereaved fall off people's radar after the first courtesy visits and practical help are over with---but particularly when losing someone so young, or indeed when losing a spouse/partner, times can remain hard and coping alone difficult for a few years after. Youth especially can be too busy living or too inexperienced&nbsp;to wait out the grief of a youthful mourner, I find. So just be there... There is immense comfort in just being able to acknowledge the grief, share the loss and relive the good times with people who new that beloved soul that has passed. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice/page/2#post-915186 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 13:41:55 +0000 biscuitsmom 915186@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm so sorry for your loss.... he sounds like a wonderful person and you were all blessed to have had him in your life... it's never long enough though&nbsp; https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice/page/2#post-915032 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 06:11:02 +0000 Lyn D. 915032@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I just caught-up with your sad story Elly.<br />I am sorry to hear of your loss- gone too soon. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice/page/2#post-914959 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 02:19:20 +0000 Isis 914959@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Elly, just read the update. I am so sorry.&nbsp; <br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice/page/2#post-914593 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 19:36:58 +0000 rachylou 914593@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm so sorry, Elly! <br /><br />I don't know if this will sound weird, nor do I know how to put this, but I feel it's nicer to let people continue to exist in the moment instead of making them think about what will no longer be. I remember one woman I knew, her daughter would sit by her bedside and say, "You're dying, Mommy. How do you feel?"And she'd do it over and over. It was... irritating. I've seen a lot of people do that in not so obvious ways. Every day, all the time, "How do you feel? How do you feel?" I find that the ill and dying appreciate a little break from being a sick person now and again. And their caretakers appreciate a little break from that too. <br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice/page/2#post-914470 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 17:35:51 +0000 texstyle 914470@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Very sorry for your loss - prayers for your strength so that you can be supportive during your own mourning. Maybe you can help to plan a small remembrance celebration to celebrate his life and all the good that he did?&nbsp;&nbsp;I still celebrate my Grandma every year on St. Patrick's Day as it was one of her favorite "holidays" and she died on that day many&nbsp;years ago. I like to think she knows we're celebrating her. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-914294 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 14:44:29 +0000 Laurinda 914294@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So sorry for your loss. <br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-914243 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 13:53:52 +0000 Parsley 914243@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a terrible loss! My deepest sympathy to you all, Elly. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-914142 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 10:15:35 +0000 Deborah 914142@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so sorry for your loss. Elly, thinking of you and your partner. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-914112 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 08:29:50 +0000 Anonymous 914112@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Elly I am so very sorry, ....thinking of you. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-914071 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 05:20:37 +0000 Marley 914071@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am so sorry Elly! https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-914030 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 03:46:28 +0000 Ornella 914030@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So sorry to read this Elly.<br /><br />And Una. You are in my thoughts a lot.<br /><br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-914003 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 03:02:54 +0000 Sveta 914003@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hugs from me too, Elle, I am so sorry! https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-913966 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 02:30:39 +0000 Sarah A 913966@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am so sorry Elly. More hugs....<br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-913922 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 01:56:01 +0000 Suz 913922@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hugs, Elly. This is a hard time.&nbsp; https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-913820 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 00:28:58 +0000 Kristin L 913820@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am so sorry Elly. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-913774 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 23:25:28 +0000 Caro in Oz 913774@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So sorry Elly. My thoughts are with you. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-913744 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 22:48:14 +0000 Transcona Shannon 913744@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Elly - I just read your update. I am so, so incredibly sorry.&nbsp; https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-913687 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 21:32:13 +0000 Elly 913687@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ He passed early this morning, very unexpectedly.&nbsp; Just a few hours before we'd gotten a call that he was home from the hospital and wanted some time to settle in before they got flooded with visitors. <br /><br />I'm taking care of my partner as much as he will let me. <br /><br /><br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-913582 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 18:23:21 +0000 catgirl 913582@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh, Elly, I'm SO sorry.&nbsp; As you may know, I'm dealing with a very similar situation right now.&nbsp; My BF's husband has maybe a day to live at this point due to liver cancer.&nbsp; He's on home hospice.&nbsp; He's completely delirious and hasn't eaten for two weeks.&nbsp; She told me he was asking for me yesterday, and it broke my heart.<br /><br />You can do a lot for them, if they ask.&nbsp; Let them direct you.&nbsp;&nbsp;Help with mundane things - shopping for food, providing meals, running errands.&nbsp; Take the kids to play at the park or museum, as they are too young to really get the situation and help in any way.&nbsp; I helped my friends set up a group email and google calendar for visitors, so people could see when private times were blocked out.&nbsp; I also acted as a gatekeeper (at their request) to coordinate visits and communicate information to family and friends outside the state.&nbsp; I took their teenage kids on walks to vent, and helped sort through photo albums for pictures to scan.&nbsp; I picked up medications and sat with the husband so he could have someone with him while my friend took a break to shower or write emails.<br /><br />I don't know what else to tell you - it is a hard, heartbreaking road and remember she will need support after he is gone, too... just being there will help. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-913536 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 16:56:16 +0000 Echo 913536@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh, I am so sorry. What a painful experience for everyone involved, and to happen to someone so young is just devastating. My heart goes out to you and his family (especially the children). I hope everyone has the opportunity to spend time with him and at the very least say what needs to be said. Cold comfort in a situation like this, though. *hugs* https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-913522 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 16:24:35 +0000 nancylee 913522@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh, Elly. &nbsp;This hurts my heart. &nbsp;Sending you and your friend lots of love. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-913409 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 12:50:29 +0000 Diana 913409@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, Elly. (((hugs))). This is such sad news, and I'm so sorry it had to happen to such a wonderful person. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-913369 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 09:53:57 +0000 Mander 913369@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ What awful news.&nbsp; I'm so sorry for you, and him, and his family and friends.<br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-913324 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 04:28:59 +0000 bj1111 913324@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm so glad that he was in your life. People pass thru our lives. Only a few make such a profound impact.</p> <p>I hope you are able to spend as much time with him as possible during this transition. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-913314 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 03:47:04 +0000 Suz 913314@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm so, so sorry, Elly. This is very sad news, and no wonder you are feeling at loose ends.&nbsp;It is very hard to lose someone&nbsp;we care about, and especially hard when the person is young. As Janet says, just your presence is probably the most important thing you can give. Wishing you strength in this painful time.&nbsp; https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-913228 Sun, 21 Apr 2013 01:31:25 +0000 velvetychocolate 913228@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Just wanted to say I'm sending along all kinds of prayers and good thoughts for your friend and<i> </i>you too. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/38-year-old-friend-in-hospice#post-913086 Sat, 20 Apr 2013 19:11:47 +0000 Isabel 913086@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am so sorry. &nbsp;These are truly moments of helplessness.&nbsp;