YouLookFab Forum » Topic: 12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: 12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check? https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 04 May 2026 12:56:37 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Lisa on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-847717 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 14:43:58 +0000 Lisa 847717@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Gaylene summed it up nicely. For myself, I really struggled to reduce the size of my wardrobe over the past 3 years and I finally feel it is in a better place. I have more outfit combinations than I have days of a season to wear the outfits. I find when I grow bored, I come up with a new outfit combination. That helps me feel my outfits are still "fresh" even when the items are no longer new. Also, I had to impose a few rules on myself. Purchased but unworn in 30 days, back it goes. Unworn in a season, donate bag time. And when I see a tempting item, I force myself to one in and one out. As myw ardrobe has gotten smaller, it's become harder to give up items as there are more of them that I truly do like. catgirl on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-847245 Wed, 13 Feb 2013 00:32:41 +0000 catgirl 847245@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My problem is that the 'wantsies" are cumulative. Thus, I constantly want new things that I see, but not all old unfulfilled wants fall to the wayside as a result. So, although I've "given up" on finding a lot of :"the perfect" items, if they come around unexpectedly (say, slouchy leather pants or navy shoes), they elbow their way into the list. Drat those pushy items! Anonymous on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-847188 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 23:42:53 +0000 Anonymous 847188@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ @Ingunn; your English is simply amazing. You are able to articulate better than some for whom it is their mother tongue! I have loved reading this thread! Gaylene has made some particularly salient points. I'm in my second year with YLF and like last winter, did pretty well curbing my spending (since this it's not my dominant season). However, when Spring rolled around last year, I went absolutely nuts buying second hand clothes. I decided I needed quantity over quality --since it gets so hot here-- but I went overboard. I too would toss words around like "haul" and "score" and phrases like "stock up" like I was preparing to be out in the wilderness for 40 years. In my defense, I was experimenting and I learned a lot, but in the end, I am coming back to what I've known my style was all along (but of course I will need YLF to help me actualize it). I'm not exactly going on a 12 X 12 plan, but my shopping will be slow *waving to Laura* and deliberate this year. I need far fewer clothes than I ever thought, and I'm not desperate for anything. If a special occasion arises, I will enjoy shopping for that. Until then, slow and steady for me. nancylee on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-847164 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 23:29:37 +0000 nancylee 847164@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I agree with so much of the wisdom already shared here. It really is about cultivating an attitude of mindfulness about consumption....which is hard to do in the current culture, and if you absolutely love fashion like we YLFers do. I really hear ya on this dilemma, though, and feel like I'm in the same place as you wardrobe-wise, Rita. After two years on YLF I've stocked my closet with many beautiful and useful things and gotten a better handle on my style..so the items in my closet are mostly all pretty great. STILL, it's so hard to slow down. Like you I had some vague hope for this year to be a year of moderation, but I seem to have my foot stuck on the shopping gas pedal still. I'm justifying some purchases by claiming that I'm "refining" my wardrobe; that is, replacing items that are more in line with my newly formed style descriptor of elegant eclectic. But I'm probably just looking for justification to keep shopping. *sigh* I do know that moderation works for me when I'm trying to change my habits. So, maybe taking some small steps to change your shopping habits (rather than a drastic 12x12 plan) is a better place to start. unfrumped on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-847134 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 23:01:16 +0000 unfrumped 847134@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Gaylene, I like how you distinguished the "good " 1-in 1 out from just mindless tossing to make room for new. (That applies to stuff in our homes as well as wardrobes!). Instead I am looking more at new items and saying, what will you really DO for me that something else isn't already doing, and does it matter? I don't feel so restricted that I can NEVER toss something unless I've really used it up or worn it to death--I actually appreciated your thoughts awhile back on how it's okay to acklowledge that clothing has a shorter life cycle than we might imagine and there is room to acquire a few short-lived items or allow a bit of boredom factor. So I'm finding I can try balancing that better if I invest in less "depth" and duplication and even a smaller range of types of silhouettes--then I have room to try new things continually but more thoughtfully and on a smaller scale (in total numbers and less frequently). Ingunn on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-847108 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 22:43:15 +0000 Ingunn 847108@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I appreciate so much how you articulate this, Gaylene, like you also did in my own thread on this topic a few days ago. This is what I hope to get better at. It's not about the number, it is about getting better at appreciating what I have, and stop the overspending. I think one in, one out only work if you pair it with an understanding of that enough IS enough. Ah, it is difficult to express my exact thoughts on this matter in English, but I hope you understand my meaning. fern on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-847098 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 22:34:45 +0000 fern 847098@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I love it, Gaylene. Exactly! A friend of mine once realized when she was out with her son, and he said, "Oh, Mommy, look at that! I love that!" that he didn't necessarily want to buy it (ha- really, want her to buy it), but he wanted her to acknowledge & share in its awesomeness. Most of the time if she said, yes, look at that cool part, and shared his excitement, that was enough for him. That's how I feel about shopping - my needs are few, but the supply of cool things is infinite. I just try to acknowledge how much I like something & recognize that, yes, there is another thing of beauty in the world. If it really fits my goals, it can go on my list. If I keep thinking about it, it can stay on my list. My needs and my list say I can buy one new pair of (summer) shoes in the Spring quarter - so for now I have 3 or 4 pairs hanging out in my idea file, but I'm waiting to really try them & buy a pair in April or May. ironkurtin on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-847093 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 22:26:41 +0000 ironkurtin 847093@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Gaylene, I am printing what you said out and memorizing it. Nice!!! Gaylene on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-847072 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 21:47:04 +0000 Gaylene 847072@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ It's hard to practice restraint--whether you are talking food, clothes, or whatever it is you are desiring at the time. I think others have said it well--12x12 is not the goal; the goal is to change a behavioral response when you see something that you like. In my case, I could always justify WHY I ought to buy something that excited my senses or fit me perfectly. The problem was that too many items just sat in my closet after I was over the first flush of excitement because they lost their luster as soon as something new came along. Purging was part of the problem; it made me feel good and gave me a justification for buying newer and "better" items. Purging wiped the slate clean so I could start over knowing this time I'd get it right. I kept asking myself these question when I was faced with wanting something: (1) Do I need to buy everything that fits me perfectly or looks good on me? Why not let someone else enjoy the item if I already have what I need? Hoarding and being greedy are not attractive qualities. (2) What makes this the "perfect" item? Perfection is rarely found in man or nature, so why is it so common in clothes--or shoes--or handbags--or whatever it is that I'm trying to justify? (3) How many of ___ does one woman really NEED? See "hoarding and greed" above and add a dose of "glut". (4) If I wasn't willing to pay full price, why is the item so desirable now that it is 50% off? And those metaphors--"pouncing", "grabbing", "stalking"... Really, is that a logical way to create a functional wardrobe, or do those terms describe an aggressive, visceral, "look-at-what-I-won" approach to accumulating stuff? (5) Does boredom reside in an item or is it in me? This question really hit home; if I'm bored, or restless, or unhappy, I'm a prime candidate for retail therapy. Will acquiring more stuff fix whatever is bothering me? Or do I want to buy thoughtfully and carefully so that I get maximum pleasure from the item for a long time, or, conversely, feel calm and in control when I decide to forgo that particular purchase. We live in a society that encourages consumption and, for most of us, it seems natural to have what we want. But discipline has its rewards as well--a healthier body and a better attitude towards accumulating material goods. At least that's how I chose to look at it when I was tempted to grab my credit card to haul home the newest shiny bauble. Caro in Oz on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-847058 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 21:18:32 +0000 Caro in Oz 847058@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Unfrumped brings all the considerations together; I don't think it is just about a number rather it's about our attitude. I believe we all lie somewhere on a newness line. Some people are happy with lots of inexpensive stuff that they wear a few times before they move on & some people buy a few really good pieces a season to add to what they have, then there is everyone else:) I think we just need to find what works for our personalities, budgets & lifestyle. I think you are on the right track - you know you only need 10 outfits a month so it would be wise to make sure that the sweaters & jeans you buy are ones you will be happy to wear all season. Thistle on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-847048 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 21:09:37 +0000 Thistle 847048@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am still so early in my style journey, and working so hard to de-frump, that I just don't feel like I have the discipline. I am hoping I can join this team in a year or two! Mo on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-847029 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 20:18:38 +0000 Mo 847029@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Jayne, I do want more than is on my list! I put back, begrudgingly, a bright purple mixed media short sleeve top and a black twisted front shell with zipper back a couple weeks ago. I could easily see use for both items, but . . . as it is, I haven't worn even 1/4 of the tops I have already in my closet yet this year. I have the added twist of readjusting to my major life changes every year or two. From out of work in FL to wearing a uniform and living in snow. It definitely complicates things. I need to step back and see that, really, I am only wearing outfits 10 days or so a month now. So, much as I still want pretty new things, and current styles, I also have to tell myself that just one or two voluminous sweaters or looser jeans will be plenty for me for the year modgrl on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-847016 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 19:42:10 +0000 modgrl 847016@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Mo I like the idea of acquiring things over time so that there isn't a big gap, and you don't have a glut of one style over another.... I do get carried away with things I like though. It's hard not to want to get duplicates of things I know work well for me. Elizabeth, I am trying to stick to less is more but it is very hard to be disciplined! Especially when I like everything in the stores now. jayne on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-847013 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 19:37:52 +0000 jayne 847013@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think you expressed it all Unfrumped...a combination of disciplines with a purpose. the 12 x 12 should not be a purpose of its own..but based on something you want to achieve. jayne on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-847009 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 19:34:49 +0000 jayne 847009@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I like one in one out but does it assume that the one out isn't just an bad unworn unloved item, but something you are now ready to donate after maybe loving it before. Through my purges I have actually tossed over 100 things in the last 2-3 years and I don't want 100 back. I think I am just hitting now the right number of clothes for a season...wearing them all but not so often that I bore of them, about once every 3 weeks for the toppers and every week for the bottoms. I considered the 12 by 12 but I just don't feel I am at the point of having total control on the spring summer wardrobe to be so limited. I am total agreement with Mo, buy fewer buy better. My current rule is to have a list of real holes where I am looking for the Perfect item (not an ok one) and another dream list of a few things I would love to own if the perfect item came along. These I can buy from no matter when the item magically appears. But actually together they are just about 12 items Then for the items that come out of no where (like lime jeans this year)...I give myself a breather from first sighting, to purchase to find ways I might style it with what I have. I am not able to do that in the store, my "want want" overrules all logic and memory! Doing 12 by 12 would require real discipline, one in one out is discipline also. Mo, do you want more than the 12 you actually buy? Or has the want faded with the increase in discipline? unfrumped on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-846986 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 19:09:02 +0000 unfrumped 846986@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think 12 x 12 can be a really good construct, but it's only a construct. It's a form of discipline to help achieve a goal. You still have to do some kind of review of where you are and where you're going to see what kind of a construct is best for you. This includes your personality and how you respond to reward, patience, waiting, and fashion itself--all very Meyers-Briggs! For example: -- I need fewer indifidual clothing items over a given time period, but it's immaterial whether its 12 or 16 per year, or how to count a necklace or cami vs. a coat. --I would like better quality, but I don't actually have to be determined to spend more money, I need to keep finding my value sweet spot. Also, I will have to use different shopping methods to find some specific better quality items , because I am just not running into them in my local stores (or, quality in my styles and fit). --A 1 in-1 out (at least--maybe 2 out in some cases) seems to be useful to me, because I am finding I don't wear as many things as I thought and I end up wanting to replace more often than I thought I would. But it's not a moral decision, it's practical. So of course I don't have to do 1 out at all, but then after awhile I will have to do 10 out! --I want to stay mostly within my own closet, but I have lots of empty closet space in the house--I'm not trying to have a small carbon footprint, I just get confused and forget what I have or it's too much trouble, when it's elsewhere, and don't wear it, or I buy something too similar. --I need to SYB in the general sense--stay within some comfortable/reasonable $$ amount for me--but SYB is not enough of a construct, because using my budget alone I can still make poor choices, and buy things I don't need or won't use, buy poor fit or quality. So overall I need "more discipline" but if I can use several constructs and not just one, I am more likely to have a better wardrobe. If a single construct is more likely to be successful, then by all means use what works. That is why I think Angie's PPP is so useful--it very simply incorporates several forms of wardrobe discipline. Aziraphale on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-846949 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 18:35:13 +0000 Aziraphale 846949@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Ah, the wantsies. I know what you mean. I'm on a level with Mo. I'm on a "less is more" kick at the moment, where I'm wearing the same stuff a lot, and there are few things I want to buy. Unfortunately, those few things are expensive things. So I'm saving and waiting. :-) What if you try the one-in-one-out thing that Angie does? You can buy yourself that new pair of jeans, but you have to toss an old pair. Or you could get the wedges, but you need to pass on another pair of shoes. rachylou on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-846948 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 18:35:06 +0000 rachylou 846948@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'd like to know too. My problem is, I see something in a store and think "Oh, you could do this or that with this piece." I don't imagine things for what I already own... which I guess I should try doing. Plus, I'm always wanting to "refresh." Ingunn on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-846947 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 18:34:50 +0000 Ingunn 846947@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm in that boat, too! I try to keep the numbers under control, but I still need replacements, and I *want* a great deal. What to do? Maybe I'm not that content and ready for 12X12 yet after all? I guess my wardrobe is in pretty good shape, and I don't need that many new items, really. But there are holes in my wardrobe that are not imaginary, and they should be filled. Mo is very wise in suggesting the slow, steady cycle instead of bursts of shopping more scarcely. I have no answers, but you have my sympathy. Mo on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-846938 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 18:24:19 +0000 Mo 846938@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My desire for better finally outweighed my wanting of this that and the other 'right now'. Also, I realized how few times I repeat outfits already. I truly do not 'need' much more. sure, I still want it. But I know I can't have my good stuff and all the wantsies, too. That said, I may be one sweater over my monthly alottment if I keep what's coming. I'm okay with that. My sweaters are all so old and short they do not play well with pants ;) Another thought, buying moderate amounts regularly will hopefully help eliminate the need to overhaul every few years when we shop in big bursts. Your overall wardrobe dates less quickly when you only got 2 or 3 of that 'in' style for the past season and then get 2 or 3 newer trendy replacements this year. Instead of 9 or 10 of them every 3 or 4 years! lyn* on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-846934 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 18:14:14 +0000 lyn* 846934@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think they have self control I sure don't have :| modgrl on "12x12'ers, how do you keep it in check?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/12x12ers-how-do-you-keep-it-in-check#post-846929 Tue, 12 Feb 2013 18:10:29 +0000 modgrl 846929@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Last year I thought about doing 12x12 but I was really not ready for it. I was still in the throws of a major wardrobe overhaul after not shopping for many years. Now I'm pretty satisfied with my wardrobe but I'm still finding that I have the wantsees... I'm finding that I can make an excuse for almost anything... my jeans are worn out, and I'm not feeling bootcuts anymore. Does that count as a replacement? I found the boots I've been eyeing for years at a big discount. Is it time to pounce? Nude wedges are my favorite kind of shoe, and they actually come in my size for once! I feel like I've been doing worse so far this year now that I've set myself an imaginary guideline! ACK!