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YouLookFab Forum » Forum: Off Topic - Recent Posts https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/forum/off-topic Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 11 Apr 2026 14:48:53 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Staysfit on "Do you have house plants?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-house-plants#post-2410236 Sat, 11 Apr 2026 13:35:40 +0000 Staysfit 2410236@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am an outlier here.  I have horrible luck with houseplants.  I have a Monstera that is barely hanging on, three years old. I have it on a window seat after my dog pulled off some leaves and shredded them….they are toxic for dogs. Thankfully she didn’t eat them.  I love Bonsai.  If I add anything it would probably be a Bonsai although I have no idea how to care for them.  The Denver Botanical Gardens has a beautiful collection that I visit whenever I visit my youngest.  I admire everyone here with a green thumb!   Staysfit on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update/page/2#post-2410234 Sat, 11 Apr 2026 13:20:05 +0000 Staysfit 2410234@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ 1. My understanding is HRT can be started any time within 10 years of menopause and before age 60.  Birth control is very different from HRT.  For one, the dose of hormone is much much lower, probably around one tenth as much as much; second, the HRT hormones are typically bio identical, whereas birth control is synthetic.  Finally birth control is known to cause mood issues but HRT is known to improve mood.  I would consult a knowledgeable physician.  Please don’t rule HRT out as it has potential to help a lot of the symptoms with which you currently suffer.   <div> </div><div>2.  Perhaps strangely, cleaning and organizing, culling, sorting and clearing out drawers, shelves, cabinets, storage spaces, seems  helpful when I go through big changes that effect my core  sense of identity (e.g. change in job, not being able to run long distances anymore, children leaving home and empty nest).  I think it helps make mental space for something new to occur.  It’s a bit like Spring Cleaning only what I have found is in the process I somehow pick up on a thread of something that opens a new door.  A concrete example, when my youngest finally left home and I did the “Spring Cleaning”, I came upon an old unfinished knitting project.  I decided to finish it and in the process ended up joining a knitting group that has become a wonderful addition to my social life.  Another time I found some binoculars previously used at sports events and decided to put them to use with a local bird watching group.  After my best friend died, I tried to do a wardrobe clear out and ended up finding YLF.  :-) </div><div> </div> Suntiger on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2410190 Fri, 10 Apr 2026 10:49:54 +0000 Suntiger 2410190@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I had no change of life symptoms except 9 months of chronic fatigue, which could have been caused by extreme stress! One lady I know though, had hot flashes so bad she was sweating in a tank top, in a Freezing office in the middle of winter :( Re other changes: everything is temporary. YOU are not your role. You were always you, and will continue to be. It's just the outside things that change. Your relationship with your grown children is that too, it's just the outside circumstances that change. Not sure if you've read The Untethered Soul, but I recommend! Another thing that's helping me in my own personal transition is the Serenity Prayer (I don't drink but it's applicable to life)! doggeh lover on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2410154 Thu, 09 Apr 2026 18:25:07 +0000 doggeh lover 2410154@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi Helana, good to see you back, sorry you're going thru so much. I was miserable with sweating, needed to change my uniform top half-way through my shift quite often. If your hair is long, get it off your neck as often as you can and also run some very cool (not near freezing cold) water on a paper towel, then wet your whole face include behind your ears, your neck and wrists often, it worked well for me. My husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer in January. He had to get a shot of EDT (estrogen deprivation therapy) to lower testosterone b4 he started his 28 treatments of radiation (mon-fri) for 6 weeks. Dr told him "Welcome to menopause" he's having classic symptoms, ugh! We have fingers and paws crossed for you... Sisi on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2410137 Thu, 09 Apr 2026 14:25:40 +0000 Sisi 2410137@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Helena, I am sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult period but compliments for actively looking for a solution. Good idea to see a therapist. I hope that the suggestions given by our wonderful forum members will help you feel better soon. Wishing you all the best! bella on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2410061 Wed, 08 Apr 2026 20:37:51 +0000 bella 2410061@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ A highly activated nervous system means your body is constantly producing cortisol and adrenaline. During perimenopause, our body needs to make up for the decreased reproductive hormones, but if you are under constant stress, this effort is directed to producing cortisol instead. I think you'd benefit from meditation, which was an important part of the synching workshop that I attended, as well. You might want to add this to your arsenal of perimenopause-fighting tools. Helena on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2410045 Wed, 08 Apr 2026 16:51:15 +0000 Helena 2410045@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you all so much xoxox ... I'll explore cycle syncing and Sal I'm with you ... Exercise and breathwork are keeping me going. I had a very interesting therapy appointment where she identified that I have a highly activated nervous system, so we are working on ways of disabling some of the "alarms" that are always going off. I have been skeptical of this sort of information but when we walked through it, given my personality, upbringing, etc it did make a lot of sense. Fingers crossed it is helpful but it feels good just to be trying something and moving forward. Xx RobinF on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2410035 Wed, 08 Apr 2026 13:27:48 +0000 RobinF 2410035@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So sorry to hear you are struggling! When my last kids (daughter moved out early, sons waited a while) moved out, DH and I moved house at the same time. I think it was a lucky thing because decorating and remodeling it gave me something to focus on and I don't have the house that they were raised in to remind me that they aren't here, if that makes sense. You have gotten so much good advice here, I really don't have much to add. Just hugs and assurance that you will adjust and find fun activities to replace the time spent on kids. They will always need you but in different ways . I also find that keeping in touch is so much easier now than it was when I was my kids' age and I love our family phone chats.  Hang in there! bella on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2410025 Wed, 08 Apr 2026 10:19:14 +0000 bella 2410025@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi Helena,  I am sorry to hear about how intensely you are experiencing some symptoms of perimenopause. Like Jasmine, I am furious that women's health is never made a priority and most women have to navigate this stage of life on their own, most of the time without adequate or quality medical assistance, info or technology!  Since you seem open to exploring methods other than HRT, may I humbly suggest cycle synching?  It is a method of adjusting diet, exercise, and lifestyle to accommodate increasing hormone fluctuations. I've done it for about 10 months last year with good results (huge improvement in sleep distortions, good control over weight gain and feeling of bloatedness, increased cycle length, etc), but I somehow fell of the wagon at the beginning of winter. With the arrival of spring and more sunshine, I am trying to get back on track.  You can google it or ask your AI agent. I did participate in a workshop (local, so no references), but there is a lot of info online.  Good luck!  Sal on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2410020 Wed, 08 Apr 2026 03:43:24 +0000 Sal 2410020@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Helena, it is not an easy time.  I am at a somewhat similar age and stage.  It is really hard balancing your needs and role right now with crazy hormones and fluctuating energy.   I am not on HRT but am considering it mostly due to sleep and hot flushes. My sons are 24 and 21 and living in different cities.  I miss them terribly but am grateful they are thriving. In times of stress the following have helped me: - breathing exercises - I am a huge believer in these - regular morning exercise, - a new hobby (for me pickleball) Jon and I have also undertaken a couple of adventurous trips without our kids which we have enjoyed and would not have done in the past. The Cat on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2409988 Tue, 07 Apr 2026 22:20:48 +0000 The Cat 2409988@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am sorry to hear about your menopause/midlife struggle. For some months when I was 52, I exerienced strange mood changes in connection with menopause. I understood that my hormones were out of balance, and chose to try progesterone cream. I soon felt better, and after six months I stopped using it. In addition, strong vitamin B supplements was--and still is--a great help when coping with stress and worries. anchie on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2409972 Tue, 07 Apr 2026 19:29:58 +0000 anchie 2409972@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Helena, I hope that with time I’ll feel more at ease with driving too. What makes me nervous right now is that everyone in my DD friend group recently got their licenses, and they’re all driving each other around. I honestly don’t know yet how experienced or careful they are behind the wheel. I just hope and pray for the best. Helena on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2409955 Tue, 07 Apr 2026 17:26:59 +0000 Helena 2409955@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you all so very much! I appreciate you sharing your personal experiences, and all the encouragement. You all are the best xoxox I have a therapy appointment today, so I'm hoping she will start giving me some 'homework' that at least helps me feel a little more like I'm taking control. I do work part-time and am considering whether a move to full-time would make sense when DD moves out in the fall - it's hard to make the math work given DH's job and the amount of home/finances/etc. that I take on given his busy work schedule - but that's a problem that I've scheduled for October, once I've had a month to settle after her move. I do take an SSRI (SNRI maybe?) that helps with mood and hot flashes. I'll keep an open mind about HRT but it's hard to even get an ob/gyn referral without a more tangible problem! They are so busy and in short supply I think. But I will push for it if I need to, my GP is great so there's that at least. Anchie, hugs for our shared life stage! I can say my DD started driving a few months ago and I was an absolute basket case; in fact, I think I posted about it on here to get encouragement! I will say my solution was distraction, distraction, distraction. Once I've given my safety lecture and set the boundaries, and she is off, all I can do is trust that her driving training and good sense will hold her in good stead, and then say a Hail Mary and hope for the best. Worrying was doing nothing but taking a toll so I started fully distracting myself until she got home safely and over time I have more trust that she will be okay. We did also set distance and time parameters, as well as update requirements for safe arrivals and departures; I don't track her location as that's not our thing and she is extremely reliable about keeping me up to date in gratitude for that!) that have gradually relaxed with both our growing confidence. And she's subject to my safety lectures for the rest of her life lol (now that it's spring - cyclists and speeders and playing children, oh my!!) Hang in there xx Thank you all, precious and wise women! x jasmine on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2409903 Tue, 07 Apr 2026 11:37:47 +0000 jasmine 2409903@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <div>Hi Helena. I'm sorry that things are so tough for you right now. I found out I was in perimenopause when I started getting horrendous hot flashes that left me unable to get a decent night's sleep and soaking wet multiple times during the day, often followed by freezing cold flashes. When I began doing some reading prior to going to the doctor to discuss my options, I was shocked to discover that reduced estrogen levels can cause many health issues in addition to hot flashes, and NO-ONE had ever mentioned this to me before. It really makes me angry how women's health has not been treated as a priority and how much unnecessary suffering has been caused as a result. We all need proper information to understand what is going on with our bodies and how to proactively manage our health going forward.</div><div> </div><div>Anyway, I eventually found a great doctor here in Tokyo via the North American Menopause Society website, and am feeling really good these days. I've been on HRT for about 7 years and plan to stay on it for the rest of my life if possible. Through that doctor I also discovered I needed treatment for hypothyroidism, and since getting that under control my mood is hugely improved and I have more energy.</div><div> </div><div>I really encourage you to take a look at the menopause subreddit (<a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Menopause/">https://www.reddit.com/r/Menopause/</a>), particularly its wiki (<a rel="nofollow" href="https://menopausewiki.ca/">https://menopausewiki.ca/</a>), which has a lot of useful information, including info on how to find a menopause practitioner in your area. Unfortunately many doctors are poorly informed on menopause and deny women treatment that could be life-changing, so finding a good doctor is key. </div><div> </div><div>Good luck! I know how difficult this time can be, for so many reasons, and I hope you are feeling better soon! </div> anchie on "What do you have for window treatments?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/what-do-you-have-for-window-treatments#post-2409896 Tue, 07 Apr 2026 07:55:32 +0000 anchie 2409896@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ We live in an apartment and have huge floor to ceiling windows so privacy is very important. We have external metal electric blinds that provide full blackout and privacy but being external they get dirty easily and are pain to clean. We are on the first floor (i think considered second in US - it is not ground floor) so impossible to access from outside. I am already dreading cleaning them this spring. anchie on "Do you have house plants?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/do-you-have-house-plants#post-2409893 Tue, 07 Apr 2026 06:26:28 +0000 anchie 2409893@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I don’t have a green thumb and I have killed more houseplants than I want to admit. My good friend is the opposite, and when she moved to Toronto 18 months ago, she left me bunch of her plants that she was not able to take with her across continents. I am trying hard not to kill them, they are still alive and even my cat is cooperating. I am now feeling motivated to start with gardening in my small garden in our second home, and would appreciate advice and help from more experienced gardeners here. anchie on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2409891 Tue, 07 Apr 2026 05:56:49 +0000 anchie 2409891@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh, Helena, I fully sympathize, I am in the same boat. My youngest is also leaving for university this fall and I don’t even want to think about it yet, I know I will have hard time dealing with it. And she has also started driving around with her friends that just got driving licences, and I can’t relax. I started having very difficult menopause symptoms last year - irritability, mood swings, anxiety, weight gain, brain fog and terrible hot flashes accompanied with dizziness and heart palpitations, they were waking me up every hour during the night, so I was not able to sleep for months. My gynecologist was against HRT, telling me that menopause is just normal part of aging and I should manage it with diet and exercise. Finally last November she agreed to put me on the lowest dose of estrogen gel and progesterone pill, just for a 6 months to tide me over until full menopause (I still have periods). It was life changing, within a week all my symptoms were gone and I started feeling like my old self again. I am going to fight her to stay on HRT as long as possible when I go for 6 months check up next month, and will change doctor if needed. Jenni NZ on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2409890 Tue, 07 Apr 2026 04:59:18 +0000 Jenni NZ 2409890@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Well I was in the cohort that HRT was thought to be possibly dangerous to, as that study (WHI) came out 2002 and I went through menopause 2007 when I was 46. So I didn’t take HRT. As a Dr I was influenced by the study although tried not to stop women’s HRT too quickly as it made them feel bad to do so. But my mood became very affected by the hormonal changes and an SSRI antidepressant really helped my anxiety which was the worst part of the mental health issues. I have tried 3 different ones (paroxetine, fluoxetine, citalopram) but liked citalopram the best. I also had therapy, twice, once in 2009 for a time and once in 2012 for a time when there was also work stress. The therapist drew me an amazing diagram about my cycle of thinking related to my perfectionism. A good side effect was that SSRI meds can help hot flushes (we call them that, I think you might call them hot flashes). I think as mothers our role keeps changing as they age and I feel for me losing control over what happened to them (especially who they fall in love with and where they decide to settle) was difficult as I am something of a control freak! With a side of OCD, how many other Fabbers do you know who track their wears for nearly 10 years like me! But I have got way better with the lack of control over their lives over the years and feel my relationship with my own children is better than I had with my very critical mother. So I think there are options for medication whether HRT or not, and the therapy should help. A book by Brene Brown called “The Woman in the Mirror” I think was quite useful to me, and another Christian based book by Cloud and Townsend (?) called “Boundaries”. Even though I was also losing my faith at the time (2008, terrible church bullying) my Christian heritage made me able to still get a lot out of that book. Hugs to you. avicennia on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2409889 Tue, 07 Apr 2026 04:01:54 +0000 avicennia 2409889@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So many good thoughts here. I also have found a dose of progesterone (HRT) to be very helpful. I’m a bit on the older mum side: so still have a young teen at home. As they have become more independent I’m enjoying the freedom to do things on my own. Perhaps you have old interests you might pick up again? *All this talk of HRT brings to mind the BBC program Riot Women. Suz on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2409883 Tue, 07 Apr 2026 03:21:25 +0000 Suz 2409883@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Helena, I'm so sorry you are going through a tough time with all of this. It's really good that you've found a therapist. That's a smart place to start.  Like Peri and a few others here, I was not allowed HRT because my mother had breast cancer and I am part of the cohort that was denied  for that reason, and now I believe I'm past the window. So no advice from me on that, but I will say I know of others it has helped.  You're facing the loss of a vital life role (or at least a major change in the role) and don't forget, it is not so long ago that you also lost your own mother. That's a lot to process.  I believe you are still working, right? Work does provide some of the daily structure. But maybe it doesn't provide the same sense of meaning that caring for the kids has provided. As judy said, they will still need you! Just differently. But it can be hard to recognize that in your bones. There's a hole in your world.  You'll find your way out of this slump, I'm sure. Hoping some glimpses of joy begin to return to you very soon.  Angie on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2409877 Tue, 07 Apr 2026 02:14:31 +0000 Angie 2409877@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Helena, sending hugs and good spirits your way. I can only imagine how tricky empty nesting can be. A myriad of emotions, on top of menopause! And another endorsement for HRT. I am on the smallest possible dose - 2 years now - and it's life changing. Indigoprint on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2409874 Tue, 07 Apr 2026 01:14:56 +0000 Indigoprint 2409874@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ What you are feeling is so real. Kids leaving home is a major life change along with what your body is experiencing . HRT therapy has helped me more than I can say. Time helps too, big transitions take time to sort out and establish new routines. It's a good time to indulge in yourself since your kids require less attention from you. Irina on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2409867 Mon, 06 Apr 2026 23:00:13 +0000 Irina 2409867@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Helena, hugs! I so feel for you! <div>I remember the time when we became empty nesters. We felt proud of our son becoming an adult and moving on with his life. At the same time, I also felt kind of abandoned. Which was not the case, we are very close but it was definitely an adjustment.  <div>As for HRT, it helped me tremendously with hot flashes and especially with my anxiety (it got really difficult in my first years of menopause). I’ve been doing it for 10 years and thought I would be taken it forever. But I started having serious issues last year and I’m in a process of decreasing the dosage and hopefully will be able to stop this year. There are some anxiety medications that also help with hot flashes. They unfortunately didn’t work for me but it’s definitely worth trying. </div></div> SarahD8 on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2409861 Mon, 06 Apr 2026 22:01:24 +0000 SarahD8 2409861@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Helena I'm so sorry that you're struggling with all this. A possibly funny thought that came to mind: One of the most wholesome trends apparently going around among the young 'uns right now is the idea of a personal curriculum -- where you basically design a course of study for yourself on some topic you are interested in. <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJ0TOXd48c8&t=461s">This short YouTube video</a> explains it pretty well I think. I wonder if experimenting with something like that could be a fun, low-stakes way to harness your organizational skills (which I know are strong!) to start exploring what interests you and lend some structure to the chauffer-duty-less days. The way she describes it there is really no need for a long-term commitment to any of it...just giving things a try and seeing what, if anything, sparks. I am another for whom HRT (which I never thought I would use, I am the daughter of a breast cancer survivor) has been very helpful indeed. Happy to discuss more but you've already gotten lots of feedback on this topic and don't want to be a pusher lol. JAileen on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2409853 Mon, 06 Apr 2026 20:12:36 +0000 JAileen 2409853@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I’m so sorry you are going through this.  We only had one kid, and during his last couple of years of high school, while he was stretching his wings, he was extremely obnoxious and I was glad to shove him out the nest!  Now, years later, he is lovely again.  The suggestions for therapy and hormones are very good.  I hope they work. judy on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2409852 Mon, 06 Apr 2026 18:54:11 +0000 judy 2409852@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I know what you mean about hormones, Helena.  I was prescribed, just a few years ago in my late 60's, a bit of estrogen cream for vaginal prolapse issues.  But even that small amount of estrogen made me so grumpy and probably as you say, anxious.  It made made me actually grateful not to have those hormones any more, which I think caused me quite a bit of issues in my younger life.  Probably could have done more to add other hormones to balance it all, but I just didn't have it in me.  It does seem like you are grieving a life you loved...and did so well!  Children do still need us, though the form changes.  They only have one mum! The emptiness that can be felt in the absence of so much former activity and caretaking can be really disorienting.  I feel like this kind of shift takes some time to recalibrate our nervous system.  Good for you for seeking a therapist to help.   I've noticed that our minds can be happy about something...in your case, your children's new activities...but our bodies can feel something different.  My sister was really happy about her son's wedding when it happened a few years ago, but she also went into a depression in the nine months leading up to it that she didn't understand until much later when she realized at some level she was sad to let him go and wasn't really facing that. She did get over it...or maybe through it, but she said it was very challenging.  All this to say, we all need help with life changes! Peri on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2409846 Mon, 06 Apr 2026 17:27:41 +0000 Peri 2409846@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Please check out the podcast "UnPaused" by Dr Mary Claire Haver. She is one of the many active medical professionals in the "new" conversation about peri-menopause and menopause. From your post, I think you will feel like she is talking about your life.  Unfortunately for me, I was in the generation done totally dirty by the WHI study. I was on HRT right after menopause but then the study got all that sensational press and we were all basically yanked off of it. My Dr at the time, since retired, tried to convince me to stay on and even said "in 10-15 years we are going to be finding that study has done women a huge disservice". He was downright prophetic. My current Dr is up on newer research and had no issues prescribing me HRT even at 65 and 15 years post meno. Unfortunately though, I am  past the best window and all I can hope for with it now is to slow down the onset of health problems that likely could have been so much more effectively treated if all the mistakes in that study had been better understood. I am getting some life help from the HRT at least...sleeping well for the first time in 15 years and I have stopped feeling so freaking hot all the time. I was past the flashes, but my inner thermostat was just permanently turned to burning. I feel so much better now, but I also know that if I hadn't been caught in that WHI study mess I could actually be better.  Not really meaning to push hormones, I know it's a personal decision. I just wish I had been able to have today's more considered information back when I most needed it instead of hitting menopause right at the time of such a majorly flawed and media twisted study. So give UnPaused a listen. At the very least, it will make you feel not alone.  Helena on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2409842 Mon, 06 Apr 2026 16:50:55 +0000 Helena 2409842@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you ladies ... Judy, yes you nailed it. It's not just the 'role' change, it's literally the day to day compass being gone - I'm so used to orienting myself around busy kids, which I loved! Now I have a free day and I feel completely lost in terms of anything fulfilling I know 'this too shall pass' but it's really been more difficult that I anticipated. Thanks everyone for the thoughts around hormones ... I'm of two minds; part of me wants to push for it, part of me is worried about messing around and potentially destabilizing myself further, as happened with birth control for me (it really messed with my anxiety levels, which my doctor said was impossible, but that's what I experienced). Anyways, I mostly just really appreciate the support ... you are a wonderful group. Thank you all xoxo slim cat on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2409835 Mon, 06 Apr 2026 16:02:35 +0000 slim cat 2409835@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Happy Easter!  Just sharing my journey with menopause - HRT was life saver for me ( I did 5 years - wish I could do more but lost medical insurance and could not afford it for full price ). Good doctor is vital in this  situation - some are very reluctant to prescribe HRT and not willing to talk about it at all. Being able to talk and share the struggle - is still relevant today even though my mood swings and heat flashes are very diminished now. Other things - simple but helpful is being outside ( parks, nature ), finding little distractions ( mine is anime - lol ), travel/change of place. Hugs, stay hopeful. Debbie on "A little life update" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/a-little-life-update#post-2409834 Mon, 06 Apr 2026 15:54:05 +0000 Debbie 2409834@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am so sorry you are going through this. Explore options both HRT and not. The best advice I can give you is to find a therapist. I cannot tell you how valuable it has been to me.