UPDATE: after an almost sleepless night (waking up every hour with pangs of heartache - not just because of the breakup but also b/c of a difficult situation I am going through in my job), I put on my knee high riding boots and went shopping this morning.

I know, I know.

I thought, I have time, and I do need a denim skirt. After carefully perusing all cheaper options + all sales sections in my favorite stores and less favorite too, I finally ended up at Club Monaco where I fell in love with just about the whole store, and took a bunch of things to try with me, including a pencil denim skirt with black leather trims on the pocket - which was on sale to boot.

And walked out of the store much poorer, but with a whole loot of new quality garments that will be most useful: the pencil denim skirt in question, a very cute black wool+leather moto (on sale!), a pair of a-line burgundy culottes, a few cool tops. I think each piece is filling a gaping closet hole. Will take pics.

One may say from reading this that I do have a problem, but, call me in denial, I don't think I do. This was clearly shopping therapy and I felt hungry for stylish me again, a feeling I haven't had in months. I realized trying things out that I must have lost some weight, which must have played a role in my recent fashion funk. (either that or CM clothes are so well cut that one isn't aware of all their littlest bulges in them).

This afternoon, I have been invited by friends to visit their house on the water in a neighboring village, I'll go and it will be good for my mood. I'll make sure to take pics of my new stuff to show you.

Retail therapy for the win!!

Can't wait to see your beautiful new things. I am sure they look fantastic on you.

And I hope you have a lovely visit with your friends!

how wonderful that you feel to urge to be stylish again...another sign of you conquering this cumulative malaise. in the immortal words of the cure "show me, show me, show me how you do that [denim skirt]."

Seriously ( re the guy ) ? I laughed out loud when I read the reason. Then I felt bad for laughing because of how dumbfounded and hurt you are. THEN I thought this is soooooooo petty that it says something about his character and not you. Of course no one has ever broken up with you over the amount of clothes you have ! It is uniquely petty and such a freaking outlier. I know that doesn't make you feel better - but as an outsider looking in , this is so utterly silly and perplexing that it s screams UNPREDICTABLE to me !!!!! I wouldn't want a partner like that. Wow. I can just see him coming home one day, " I want a divorce. I don't like the way you handle uncooked chicken . "

I am so sorry. : (

Isabel, your words are helping me.

Krish, I bought those culottes, too! We will be burgundy culottes twins! Can't wait to get some styling ideas from you!

Yay! Aren't they great? They look like an a-line skirt except one can move their legs with no fear of having some dressing malfunction happening, lol.
I looked in the store, and asked the SA for a top that would match, but there was no real piece made specifically to go with it. I got the gray (chiné) thin turtleneck top but yet have to build outfits. Can't wait to see what you will come up with!
(BTW as an aside - CM's website is most frustrating for Canada residents. When I click on it I am redirected to a "sorry-we-don't-cater-to-your-region" page, preventing me from even viewing the collections. For example I wanted to provide a visual, but can't for this reason).

Ok. When I read your first post, I thought "good riddance." Didn't want to say it though. Then came back around to see your retail therapy spurt. And now I really can shout it GOOD RIDDANCE!!!

Nothing like a little retail therapy to soothe the soul.

I'm sorry for the stress of the situation. It certainly makes us take a step back and have a look at who we are. I think you are a great person.

...and I can't wait to see your haul

I'm so sorry you're going through this, but not sorry you're rid of him. If he'd stayed you'd have ended up owning stock in B&H or its Canadian equivalent.

And what a lame excuse, as MsMary said. In some ways, I'm that guy. Mostly free from stuff, largely unambitious, happy with a job I self-trained for and transitioned into in middle age. (But no debt, and have creative hobbies but don't identify as an artist.) Varying levels of discomfort with BF's more-is-more lifestyle. There are times when I resent the time and energy that go into maintaining some of his hobbies, far more than the time he gets to enjoy them. At times I've said "I love you, but I'd really like to break up with your stuff." I'd like to think that talking about conflicts openly means there's a chance of working through and with them. A chance this guy didn't give himself, and that at age 55.

Oh, and not that you need it but here's an opinion from an opinionated minimalist: your shopping/style expedition and inspiration sounds healthy and refreshing. And your wardrobe size sounds entirely reasonable.

Hugs Krishnidoux.

Jackiec, you crack me up. Thank you for your kind words, you are so sweet.
Amy, thank you for saying this! Especially from a minimalist. It is good to hear/read it.

Lol. That's like the dumbest thing ever. Too many clothes... that's like in the movie, Amadeus, where the king tells Mozart "too many notes."

Haha. Well, maybe you were reaction shopping. On the other hand, a comment like that almost demands you get another skirt ;>

Just saw this, Krishni, so sorry! I think it's completely understandable that you've been dating people from your past. Lately I've had the chance to get together with friends from 35 years ago (several different ones) and it's amazing the comfort level I feel with them. I've even asked myself if it's real comfort or just a misleading perception--not sure.

Too bad about the great sex! I've had several friends with great sex in bad relationships and it seems like such a cheat!

And on a really trivial note, I'm allergic to red wine too, and I regret that it makes me seem like a lightweight! I finally figured out why (with the help of an amazing winemaker in the Carmel Valley)--it's not the wine, it's the oak. So a Pinot Noir or Beaujolais Nouveau that's not oaked causes me fewer problems than a Chardonnay that's heavily oaked! Amazing!

Anyway, I don't think it's ever easy to be broken up with. I know you will do great and we all care about you!

Adelfa, you're onto something here... will investigate! I am sure a non oaked, no sulfates red wine would not be as damageable as the next red table wine from the supermarket, I just never dare trying.

Your words are very soothing to read to me. It's good to see I'm not alone, that this is something that can and does happen, even though I am sorry it happened to you. But to see that you came out of it with wisdom and philosophy makes me feel much better.

I too, wondered many times if the unusual level of comfort and proximity I felt was because nothing had really changed or just a misleading perception... I think it's both: you know and love the person, just as you've loved them back then. But their differences, their struggles didn't disappear. It's disconcerting to see they have not "grown out" of them. I don't mean to be condescending, but sometimes, some pple from the past have not walked the same road and not learn the same valuable lessons.

NEXT!