What an excellent son you have, Claire! You did well! (and why NOT take the credit...hee hee!)

CC, you DO NOT LOOK FRUMPY. Let's just get that right off the table. I was very surprised to read your age, I thought that you were in your late 30s. You have a fab figure, beautiful skin and eyes and a very flattering haircut.

I do think that some people jump to all kinds of conclusions if women don't dye their hair. I also think that someone women love to "makeover" other women and just feel that they have the right to gush, thinking that you will be grateful. The fact that she straight out asked you your age is ...well, weird. I can't IMAGINE asking a stranger that at all, much less right off the bat.

I would take the compliment from your "boss" as just that. Your outfit, IMO, is quite creative and she is right, not everyone could pull it off - but you did ! Not everyone can jump the Grand Canyon but Evil Kenivel (sp ? ) did and it was still awesome.

BTW - I LOVED Natalie and you look nothing like her.

There's not much I can add after all these insightful comments. I just wanted to say I understand everything you're feeling.

There are people who will give you grief about any choice in life - color or don't color, work or stay home, breast feed or bottle, paper or plastic. All we can do is figure out what works best for us.

You have recently posted some killer, killer outfits. You are that Claire, definitely not a frump!

First let me say that I love your hair and that you have a beautiful youthful face and figure! I admire and really respect women that dont dye their hair. I can see how dressing in the standard classic way can be aging with or without graying hair, so adding the modern edge with colors, shoes, shapes, etc. becomes key. I like Aida's suggestions, some good food for thought there.

As for the shoes, I think I see a pair of Fidjis, #4. Is that right?I have that pair just waiting to be worn and paid big $$$ for them, so you know how I feel about those.

3, I rather like these, but agree that maybe something less classic would help balance things out
4, a big fat yes, keep
5, I can't get a good view of these so am undecided
6, no
7, yes, fun and modern
8, no
9, yes
10, with jeans I think these would be cute

Big hug!

heehee, Claire as soon as i read what your son said, i thought we'd be hearing form YLF mothers with appropriately aged daughters. Thank you Claudia! Frankly, i found myself thinking along the same lines and i don't have any kids at all !!!

First, wow what a lot of smart, nice ladies here. This place continues to blow me away!

Second, i agree with sassing up the 'do. i have a feeling your hair is similar to mine - it tends to want to look very well behaved and you have to make an effort to rough it up! Stylists can 'cut in' some texture, and working in a little wax can give you a great piecey, clumpy look very easily (i like Paul Mitcvhell's Wax Works in the tube - you would need about 1/2 - 3/8 teaspoon in dry hair. it lasts forever). The great thing about 'au courant' hair is that it adds that edge to whatever you wear! I've found it really takes off a lot of 'style pressure'.

Third, i worked for years in customer service and totally understand about wanting to appeal to a broad section of people. Last night i was thinking that it may be helpful for you to identify one or more ladies in your area (or not) who exemplify this type of style. They may be older, younger, different shape, style, etc. But analyzing how they pull off the 'coming across' as stylish and well-dressed to a large part of the community may give you some useful ideas.

Very glad to hear about the pants! Keeping my fingers crossed for you, and give your son a hug from all of us old ladies over here! steph

Oh i forgot! Inspiration ladies if you don't know them already!

Allie at Wardrobe Oxygen has killer classic style, very business appropriate too:
http://www.wardrobeoxygen.com/

Terri at RAGS against the MACHINE is a professor who thrifts everything. She taught me a lot about minimalist style, how establishing a calm background creates the right frame for one perfect accessory:
http://www.ragsagainstthemachine.com/

Have fun! steph

I think it's gross.
THAT. WOMAN. HAS. A. PROBLEM. In fact A. BIG. PROBLEM:
She does not learn YLF!!!

Not only she was rude, but absolutely not understanding STYLE.

Hope you'll not take on heart her incompetency. That's HER PROBLEM. REALLY!

Bear in mind: -You look ABSOLUTELY ROCKIN GORGEOUS with your salt and pepper hair!!! You always dress appropiate, chic, edgy and have a very good taste!
Don't see any frump here at all!!!!!

I absolutely loved your outfit and think what your boss said so well: --really, not everybody can rock a man's tie, like you did so well! AND aditionally I think, not all man's ties do this job-but this one particular is doing it quite special for you. It has a good colour, and weight, I like it is on the wider side. I love the colour scheme and all!

About shoes: I very much love the last 2 ones on you.

(Again: -You'd better sent that woman to join YLF for training half a year, before speaking out loud! :-))

Oh, and just read about your Son's beautiful comment. You know my opinion!!!?
All was worth for that one, for sure!!!! I would die for a similar comment from my DD's(also15:-))....
Keep on doing a good job, Claire.
Btw I also wear skirts with 1"flats a lot. Am I frumpy?

And about hair, want to hear more?
My last colourring was not going so well, I do high and lowlights on a regular basis, but this last one was not worth at all. She left my roots showing in the back a lot...so back I was, to ask to be fixed.
She said: -"no ideea why the colour didn't work....especially that you have so so thin(ning) and only a few hair left...this cannot be fixed...it's your hair "..
Ha???:-(((
You can imagine, I also had a good evening that night...but decided to forgive her:-)

Claire, I just read what your son said. That is the sweetest thing ever! Can't sons just be the best! (most of the time, anyway lol)

I haven't read all of the comments but wanted to add my 2 cents.
You didn't ask for her opinion. She was projecting onto you.
I think you looked fine. Some suggestions might be to add a scarf instead of a tie. Patterned hose.
The GAP always Skinny pants are wonderful! I am going to replacce my black ones this weekend because I have worn them out!

I love the shoes in 4 and 7!

Oh my, I just got to this and skimmed through the thread, but I had to chime in and say a few things:

- First, consider the source. It really sounds like this lady has issues of her own and is projecting a strong urge to look younger on you! It was very telling that she was trying on overtly sexy shoes. At any rate, I really don't understand how people were raised when they pipe up with unrequested advice or criticism. Ugh.

- Second, Claire, I've always admired your hair! You and I are the same age, and I don't even know what percentage of my head is now gray, but I am quite afraid to let it go, so I continue to color it. I think your hair looks great, and I'd let mine go the same way in a heartbeat if I thought I would look as adorable as you do. But I have an unfortunate jawline/jowl issue that I think tends to make me look older than I am (this is why I'm always smiling in pictures), so I'm too self-conscious to let my hair go natural yet. So count me as one who envies how fab and young you look rocking your gray hair!

- Third, it looks like you've gotten some great feedback on the shoes you were looking at, and on your style in general. I think you look great and you're on the right track! Keep it up, and don't let any stranger with an unwanted opinion get you down.

I love 4, 5, 7, and 10! I ADORE the *man-tie* outfit and feel the oxfords are *totally now, totally hip.*

I do think the two-tone and bow flats have a matronly effect on you in combination with the buckled bag. I think I'd do the shoes OR the bag. I think a cross-body saddle-type bag would be de-matronising.

One like this

http://www.target.com/QuickInf....._grid_1_21

but not this

http://www.target.com/QuickInf.....i_grid_1_8

Oh, Claire. I'm so late here. I didn't even think I'd have time to stop by the forum at all tonight. But I must say, I'm glad I did, because reading this thread has been a gift. First, your heartbreaking (and hilarious) story. Next, the incredible (and deserved) outpouring of intelligent and loving support and advice. Then the words of your brilliant and loveable son. WOW!

What is left to say? Everyone has already said it better.

But for what it is worth, I LOVE your hair colour. LOVE it. It is perfect for you in every way and you are an inspiration for me. I really, really want to let my hair go natural but so far hairdressers have been chiding me not to do it. Obviously, I've given in, but it won't be long until I join your ranks, in part due to your shining example.

I do think you could experiment with a cut; it might be just the change you are looking for. But then again, I'm clearly biased, LOL!

As for your encounter with Madam Beret...what can I say except writing well is the best revenge? There's a fine story here, and YOU are the one to write it!

You know...you may worry about dressing "too classic." And I get that...I really do. But Claire, inside and out, you are a CLASS ACT. Some people may not get that, but wow, they have to be really obtuse to miss it!

I will have to go back again to look at the shoe photos. For now, let me just say that I sure wish I could come to Last Chance with you if they have $300 shoes on sale for $30!!!!!! I wouldn't care WHAT they looked like. (Well...within reason. No hooker shoes for me.)

I'm a bit behind on reading here - but wanted to say that I love your hair colour just as it is. Never mind that woman in the store - I think Janet's right in that the woman in the store has issues herself and somehow projecting that onto other people - she's not confident in her own style and perhaps feeling weird about looking younger or older or what have you - never mind all that.

Meanwhile, I also wanted to tell you that you do the Parisian Chic look like no one else I've ever seen, and I *love* that look on you. I think that it's a very, very good idea to go and try the GAP Really Skinny pants as others have suggested, and perhaps a lot of the hassle and struggle with what to wear on your volunteering days will go away. The Really Skinny pants are a lot like skinny jeans, but they function as a work pant or something close to a dress pant, but because of the style - you will be able to wear them in all the ways you love wearing your skinny jeans that look *so* fabulous on you. No more hassles with skirt lengths, what shoes to wear with what skirts or what have you.

Later, as the weather gets warmer, you might want to try skirts again, because they'll be cooler to wear than any skinny jeans or pants, but the good news is that you might not have to fuss quite as much with hose or layers in terms of sweaters and toppers, etc. Save the skirts for hot weather, and get some 'skinny' work pants for now. These skinny pants will work just as well for casual outfits when you're not at DFS too, so it's not going to be a case of buying special items just for volunteering - I think they'll fit in beautifully with your style and you'll be able to wear them for all kinds of other occasions (other than DFS) as well.

Loved what your son said - and he's right.

No more stressing about appropriate skirts for DFS - you look amazing in skinny jeans, and it's just a matter of getting some skinny "work appropriate" pants that look just like skinny jeans but are in a different fabric. That way, you'll be able to be true to your style and look/feel comfortable when you're volunteering.

Big hugs Claire! Do not worry at all about that rude woman. I would not take fashion advice from someone wearing a beret and hooker shoes either. Your son is so wise and caring--you raised him right!

I think your outfit is super cute and not frumpy at all! I love your hair color and it suits you really well. I wonder if you give off more of a conservative vibe to others because both your hair and your clothes are both pretty classic? What about a Suz-style pixie cut? Or more of an angled bob? That might add just the right amount of edginess to complement the preppiness. Can't wait to see you in the Real Skinny pants! And can you wear your white pants to work? You look so great in those!

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Oh, I had to come back. My computer rebooted itself doing some sort of upgrade thingy...

Anyways, I had to say Beret Lady really made me laugh. You know, Claire, you have an aura of authority - like you are in command of some big ticket items and some children. For people like Beret Lady, through faulty but very human logic, that reads as age. But poise like this is something a person SHOULD WANT.

I'm late in responding but I have to say that I love your hair, both color and style. I could see you adding some edge to it, nothing extreme, but I also really like the classic style (sorry, fellow bob wearer, I'm biased).

I have a similar problem with skirts, I really prefer flats so I have to be careful. I've found that even a small wedge heel makes a big difference in the way it looks. Otherwise with flat-flats a skirt just above the knee helps balance out the proportion.

Your outfit certainly isn't frumpy!! I love the tie and the lady was clearly just a bit off her rocker.

Claire, I have an 18 yo daughter. . .cute, and w/o a boyfriend. . .

I'm very late to this Claire, but I just wanted to say some things - I've never seen you look frumpy, I absolutely ADORE your hair - because you have a youthful face and figure, it looks so distinctive and unusual, your son is amazing (obviously, that comes from you, right?!) and Beret Lady was projecting her insecurities onto you.