WIW 3/24-26: Mood dressing - YouLookFab Forum

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WIW 3/24-26: Mood dressing

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Saturday I was in a springtime mood so I wore my TJ Maxx floral dress and the AE white denim jacket. Even though it was pouring rain. My toes were chilly in my Ugg wedge sandals.

Sunday I was feeling really low. DH is still mad at me. He says he doesn't trust me. I felt like I should just give up and not care anymore. I felt so bad I thought maybe I should just forget it and dress in the most old and drab clothes that I have from now on. I reverted back to my pre-YLF uniform of REI fleece and Merrell Mocs. I was very comfy but very unfab.

Today I am feeling a little better and more hopeful so I decided not to do an "unfab week" like I had been planning. Because that is just depressing! What better pick me up than the orange Bailey 44 dress? And my orange-red Fossil purse and orange Alexis Bittar pendant. I wore it with the cognac leather jacket and brown Mia lace-up booties.

Sorry I haven't been around much lately. I feel bad that I'm only posting and haven't been responding to other people's threads much, but I'm trying to limit myself to 15 mins of YLF a day. I am still trying to find my balance. I still want to do the things that make me happy, but I can't sacrifice my relationship with DH for it.

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21 replies

Latest reply was from Jem

Kari

Veteran

Natalie, I've been off-and-on sparse with YLF for the last few months, and although I feel bad when I only have time to post but don't have time to reply much, I think the forum members are very kind and understanding; most of us have gone through periods of absence or being very busy in the past. I contribute when I have time; this just happens to be a period of days when I've been able to make some time. While it doesn't give me immediate access to the whole forum, having the RealTime YLF app is helpful so I can quickly check in and reply on the go if that's all I have time for. And as much as we value you as an online friend, your real life relationship with your family should come first.

I spend most of my time on YLF when my boyfriend is also doing something on the computer. He plays videogames, and really doesn't overdo it; his video game time gives me a window to have some alone time for myself, like reading or browsing YLF or Pinterest, and we make time to do things together like cuddle up on the couch to watch a movie.

I forgot you had the orange B44 dress. It's so beautiful on you, and I love it with that luscious jacket.

MsMary

Veteran

So happy you decided not to cut off your nose to spite your face! :p OMG I LOVE the tan leather jacket with the striped dress! FAB!!

I hope you and DH work things out soon. Hugs!!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Ah, Natalie, so sorry you're still feeling a bit blue. But please don't worry that people here will feel miffed with you. We all understand. Real life relationships come first.

And I'm so glad you are dressing for happiness!

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

That Bailey dress is so beautiful on you Natalie and I love how you've styled it here. As Kari has said, everyone on the forum has busy times and times when we just don't have the energy or means to be here as often and it's all understood. We do what we can when we can. Our homes lives are more important.

Luv ya girl - hang in there!

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

#3 is great, really.

crazyone

Veteran

don't worry about us, I agree it's better to spend time on your real life relationship with your husband, though I hope he cools off soon. That said, I think an "unfab week" would be a waste--you've bought all that fab stuff already, and if you revert to wearing your old fleeces, then that money will actually have been wasted. So wear what you have!

ironkurtin

Veteran

DH is STILL angry? Poor Natalie.

You're a jewel, you'll shine no matter what you wear! And don't worry about the Forum. We all wish you the very best!

Sara L.

Veteran

I'm sorry your DH is still mad. I'm almost impressed with his ability to stay mad. I have a short fuse and have a hard time holding a grudge for more than an hour. Outfit #3 is great and I've been known to resort to fleece on the weekends too.

christieanne

Veteran

You have to find a balance and keep focus on your family for sure. But I hope you keep looking great and wearing your incredible wardrobe and being happy about it.
The dress in #3 is so cheerful and fits you so well.

You actually do polar fleece well too (and with our weather I get it) but hope you don't wear that to punish yourself.

Elly

Veteran

Do you have a lot of other "me" time? I know a lot of ladies here that are busy working ladies and busy mothers use YLF for some "me" time. If you feel you can't spend your time on YLF, please make sure to still take your "me" time . . . 15 minutes a day isn't much. . . you work hard and deserve some time to relax and indulge in something you enjoy, for yourself.

This incident aside (although I don't think you did anything wrong, I can get why he was hurt, but it sounds like what I would call a communication issue, not an actual conscious betrayal), if it was me i would really find it important to get to the bottom of why shopping and caring about fashion, style, and how you look bother's DH so much. Neglecting kids, agreed upon responsibilities, budget constraints based on need or long-term agreed upon goals (saving for X), or time spent together is one thing (that everyone can get caught up in, especially when we've been neglecting ourselves and then get excited), but using grooming time, "me" time (even setting aside MORE me time if you really didn't have any before), and time that wasn't previously being used for something highly productive or something done together or as a family is another. It doesn't sound like you really have a lot of current hobbies or me-time, and I can't imagine mommy forums count unless you spend all your time there getting support, rather than ideas. No man I know would count a support group or forum for daddies as their hobby or me time. Honestly, I think women tend to sacrifice alot, and men can get used to that-- even wonderful husbands. I'm a very accommodating person, but I've had to point out how hurtful it can be when someone tells you don't deserve time or money that you have or they spend or that what you enjoy or value isn't worth their respect because they don't agree or understand it or make it a priority in their own lives. I'd investigate WHAT is really making him disapproving . . . or what he is afraid of.

I love the orange and camel on you and in particular admire your Fossil bag . . . I really was drawn to it when I saw it in person, but it isn't practical for me so I admire it from afar.

Debbie

Veteran

Natalie I am so sorry your husband is still upset. It has to be stressful. Hang In there you look stunning.

Tanya

Veteran

Love both #1 and #3. You look stunning in orange.

Meredith1953

Veteran

Dear Natalie,
Your most unfab week would equal my most wildly dreamed of fab week. Yes DH is still mad and it will take time to change that. You deciding to decide to descend into frumpy ville would just be wrong and both you and he know that. Just give it time......All will be well...but a word of advice... my hubs gives me the evil eye if he thinks I am spending too much time talking online and not to him... maybe your hubby is the same?

AJ

Veteran

I'm so sorry that there is still tension between you and your husband. As others have said, hang in there, but do still shop your closet and have fun with fashion.

Don't worry about posting and running. You've contributed plenty in the past and we understand that family is more important. Hugs!

AJ

Veteran

Oh, forgot to mention that number 3 is FAB. Luv the accessories especially. : )

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Sorry there is still a rift over shopping. I have not exactly devulged my latest buys to my BF, but I haven't hidden them, either. He got the package off the doorstep (the ink blue dress) and handed it to me, but I did not open it until later to try on alone. I told him I shoe shopped with the girls after we saw a movie, but did not say I'd brought some home.
I'm not sure if I'm feeling sneaky or that it's such trivial amounts that it's not worth bringing up.

Sorry, back to you!! I love the orange dress on you and am glad you didn't purposefully do an unfab week. And from the SYC perspective, I would suggest maybe a couple months to reprove your trust but then a limited SYB thereafter. Although you did revamp much of your wardrobe in a few short months, your fashion interest is still so fresh and new to you that I think cold turkey is too hard to manage. Maybe x items a month limit or xxx dollars budgeted? I found this worked for me last year.

ManidipaM

Veteran

I had to echo what Meredith says, but I also want to agree with what others have said about *not* donning sackcloth and ashes. That's not going to make for a sane conversation or a great relationship dynamic, and I don't know about you, but I always feel more capable of problem solving when I'm not feeling (or dressing, same thing for me sometimes) apologetic and sorry for myself (often translates to needy).

All that said, we DO understand it's been rough going and I don't think you need to apologize to the forum at least. We all have our busy and burdened days/weeks/ months even. Suz and Kari know exactly what that's about, first hand, and am betting Mochi and Lyn and Mander do too. You're not alone in this, even if you aren't on here. Chin up, GP!

You and Bailey look absolutely smashing, by the way! Stop-you-in-the-street smashing.

Anonymous

Is it hard to be on YLF and not want to buy more clothes? If that's the case, do what you have to do. It can be a tempattion, I know. I hope the air clears with hubby soon and you two find a happy compromise. It's not realistic not to spend *any* more money on clothes infefinitely, so maybe you can work out a small budget of mad money for each of you while you reach whatever financial goal you have at the moment?

Your outfits look great, but I'm sending you big hugs because the look on your face says it all. <<<<<HUGS>>>>>>

fashionista

Veteran

Hugs from me Goldenpig, hope everything be fine very quick, and loved every outfit of yours even that unfab outfit that you mentioned you look beautiful. And that dress in #1 is so nice.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

You look great in your drab wear too!

Sometimes the littlest things can get magnified when people are under stress. Maybe relieving some stress would be helpful - a really fun evening or something...?

If you and DH haven't had many disagreements, then maybe this is just one of those times when you are both learning more about each other's feelings. It's not so unusual for people to do that with each other. Time usually makes the little disagreement seem even smaller.

Smile and try to ignore self-doubts - and just do your best to be the good person you know you are!

Jem

Veteran

Sorry you are felling sad. I'm glad you decided to still look fab on most of the days! You look great in both 1 and 3!