What to wear to meet the parents?

Hi! I lurked on YLF a lot about a year ago, but then grad school happened...so for all intents and purposes, I am new here.

I thought I would reenter YLF world with a question inspired by a real-life situation of mine and by one of Angie's posts from a little while back, advice about dressing for a date. (http://youlookfab.com/2011/05/.....on-a-date/) Now fast forward, it's gone really well and gotten serious, and it's time to meet your significant other's family (and hope none of them is Robert DeNiro.) What to wear? Obviously a lot of the advice for first dates applies here too...I think proper grooming should be a no-brainer, as well as dressing modestly.

But what about the "being yourself" part? If your style is artsy and flamboyant, I agree that there's no need to tone it down for your date...but what about for his/her ultra-preppy parents (for example)? I definitely feel that to a certain extent it is only considerate to be sensitive to others' cultural norms re dressing (like, if SO comes from a disadvantaged background, I probably shouldn't waltz into the family's house wearing Prada...not my situation, haha) but I'm not totally sure to what extent.

My own situation is a bit more complicated because I am not just meeting my SO's parents, I am visiting them in Mexico for a week! I am also worried that I might be judged more by what I wear because we do not have a common language (I'm learning Spanish, but not there yet...) and because, from what SO has said and a brief meeting with his parents several years ago, they take personal appearance very seriously.

I'm sure I'll be requesting more specific advice from you fab folk very soon. But for now I was just curious to hear about your own experiences meeting the parents, being the parents, or both, or any other advice!

Thanks!!

12 years ago

Freckles

Veteran

I think you've already got it down. Good grooming, dressing modestly and no Prada. I don't believe the language barrier would make them more critical. I'm sure they, like almost anyone, have a varied personality and appreciate learning more about others.

If they're overly critical nothing you do would be right. Relax and enjoy yourself.

(Mother of a 19 yr old son)

(website)

You might look into latin culture a bit when addressing this subject. I remember when traveling to Guatemala and Belize as a young lady I got a 'pass' as an American for certain things that I'm now sure are uncool for a proper latin american woman. At the time, I didn't think much about it but for instance, there were no local females in the bars, ever. And even Mexican TV shows the dichotomy of the whore and Madonna thing, with the telenovelas. I'd err on the side of conservative if they are a traditional Mexican family. Have fun!!

Any chance he has a sister or cousin who could coach you? It sounds like this isn't just a meet-the-parents, but a cultural-appropriateness question. I remember Angie did a post on a client who is a Latina reporter-- I wonder if there might be something useful for you in that.

I might guess that attire will be a little more formal (I'd probably skip jeans), and I'd make sure I did the little things (like polishing shoes).

mgshakes

Active Member

Great advice...thank you all! Di, really good call, I don't know why I didn't think to ask his sister earlier. I'll see if I can find that post of Angie's.

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