What to wear to a funeral

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Dawn

(website)

Active Member

Hi all!

Sorry I haven't been on the forum that much recently. Between final year and falling ill with a nasty cold last week, it's been a hectic few weeks.

One of my classmate's mum passed away yesterday and to show our support, a few of my friends and I are attending the funeral. However I have never attended a funeral before so I am unsure of what to wear. Is all-black the norm for funerals?

Thanks!

17 years ago

Dressing

7 replies

Latest reply was from yublocka

Louise

Veteran

I think unless you're told otherwise i'd err on the side of caution and go for black or very dark ie charcoal, navy blue x

17 years ago

Anonymous

To show respect it's best to wear dark neutrals but black isn't necessary. My funeral outfit that still needs was a navy pin stripe suit that I wore with a white or pale blue blouse. If you will be going to the burial in the cemetery, you may want to put some flats in the car to change into. The ground can be uneven and soft to walk on.
Even if it's hot, wear something with some sleeve or cover up with a pashmina in a church. Noone will throw you out, but it's repectful.

17 years ago

Becky

Veteran

Good advice. Norms vary from region to region, but darker neutrals or muted earth tones and understated style tend to be a safe bet.

17 years ago

Rosie

Veteran

I'm sorry to hear about your friend's mother. It's thoughtful of you to be attending. I actually went to a funeral yesterday and saw very little variety - most people wore black with the occasional navy. The light colors were mostly men's shirts under their suits. I wore a black wrap dress with a black shirt underneath for coverage, but I'm sure a light or dark neutral would have worked, as well. I also chose to wore nylons (hose) because I was not sure about exposing my legs. This ended up being a great choice because it kept me warmer. For me, erring on the side of covered up and dark made me feel comfortable and respectful. Joy's point about shoes is very good if you are going to the burial.

Also, keep in mind any particular cultural traditions there might be (there may not be any in this instance.) I was one of three Caucasians at an all-Chinese funeral so I made sure to ask my friend beforehand if there was anything I should be aware of. If you don't feel comfortable asking or if your friend is quite distraught and you do not want to bother her, look around online to see if there is any information.

17 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

My condolences. And I hope you feel better soon, Dawn.

You don’t need to wear black from head to toe. Just steer away from wearing anything cheerful and glitzy. Dress a little more conservatively, but dress up. This is about showing respect. No jeans if you can manage that.

17 years ago

Dawn

(website)

Active Member

Thanks for your help everyone. It's a Catholic funeral and I am aware of most traditions within it as I was educated in a Catholic school.

I think I'll wear a black dress, my grey wool coat as it's been cold here for the last week and flat shoes.

17 years ago

yublocka

(website)

Veteran

tassajara you've probably already attended the funeral by now, so I hope it went well for your friend and the rest of the family. I agree that dark(ish) neutrals are perfectly as passable as black at a funeral.

Weirdly today I was wearing a dark purple dress that I first wore to my cousins funeral last year. I can't help but think of that day every time I wear this dress now. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but just something to keep in mind when choosing what to wear. Anyway I may be rambling and overthinking things now, sorry!

17 years ago

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