Haha my mum coined the phrase when I was 16 and tried one of those dresses on.

Fun thread! I can so relate to Gaylene's comment about bringing these things home, hanging them in closet, dusting them off and then consigning.....and then starting over.

Things that don't work on me include ballet flats, muddy colors, anything that needs to filled out on top like shift dresses, wrap tops, waterfall cardigans, anything drapy and pretty much all EF.

Doesn't stop me from admiring these on others!

As I've hit the big 50 I find I don't like small prints, short skirts or anything twee on myself. Not really drawn to those things any longer. Interesting.

Skirts....it's rare I can get a top that works so most skirts sit in my closet, unworn (unless I add a third piece to hide the ill-fitting top)

Strappy sandals....they just do not stay on my feet. Boo to summer.

Tucked-in anything, and belts. My torso is just too short.

Thin strap sandals for sure I can't wear... bunions. But so pretty!

White Jeans and Poloshirts

Rayeli - I've had a keen dislike for polo shirts (on me) since the 80s. If you ever want to drag down my mood, just put me in one of those. I also had a job for a few years that required me to wear one.

Must think happy thoughts now - puppies, last day of school, cotton candy clouds...

Ok, I'm good.

Dresses, they are hard to fit and I am always too cold to wear one. I don't own any at the moment.

Wide leg trousers (cropped or full length). I rarely sport a heel and with my short legs, a heel is a must to pull off this look.

Ruffles, they just never work on me, I am too sporty.

I love the look and comfort of sack/shift dresses, but they make me look frumpy dumpy. I keep trying, however!

Bendable flats, i.e. any flats other than clogs, due to hallux rigidus. All those beauties I see y'all wear!

Most other shoes, esp. heels and virtually all boots due to fussy, hard to fit feet. But I still try and have an array of two and four hour footwear. (The six and eight hour ones are my various clogs.)

But I'm also thinking of the things I DO wear that some of you have listed:

Chambray shirt and white shirts: I had to try on dozens to find ones that fit in the shoulders and didn't gape at the bust. I had to enlarge and lengthen the darts on the chambray shirt.

Scarves: I have a gazillion. I get cold if I'm wearing anything collarless so I need something on my short neck. I'm returning a zillion I ordered from Nordstrom because the newer ones seem to be bigger and therefore bulkier and take up too must neck and chest real estate on 5' 1" me. I keep trying, however. But I hear you on the fuss factor. I don't want my scarves to turn into bibs, and I'm not particularly neat/careful.

Belts: But they can fight with the aforementioned scarves as well as necklaces but are needed to keep pants from sliding down the pancake butt. And they tend to show wear all too soon.

I keep reminding myself of what I DO have (a waist!) and what I CAN wear (short regular size skirts and dresses) and that my only clothing challenge (other than footwear) will be a MOB dress and MOB shoes -- which will be years and years from now if at all since DD's fellas last two months at most.

I'm drawn to patterns, especially florals. I see other people wear them and look fab but I feel horrible when I try them. This includes stripes.

  • Tunic tops with asymmetrical hemlines frump me out
  • Long sweaters and vests that look fab on everyone else make me look like Maude (For those outside the US...a TV show from the 70s about a gutsy woman of a certain age.)
  • Crisp button ups in any color....I give up. They just sit until I donate them.
  • Bateau necklines. How on earth do people wear these without showing off their bra every moment? I must have narrow shoulders...have simply stopped buying them.
  • Shirts with sleeves that end with a buttoned cuff. I hate constricted wrists and always end up rolling these.
  • Pointy toe shoes

Puppycat - I've seen asymmetrical styles I've liked on others, but I've not dipped my toe in to try on myself. Kind of curious how I would like it. And I'm pretty much with you on giving up on button ups. But I will probably bang my head against the wall a few more times trying.

Colette - I love a pattern, even though I find the stripes tough. I realize my mom has never met a pattern she didn't like, so I must come by that honestly.

Donna - I've got a few scarves, and when I try to style them, I find them too short. Guess we should have swapped ours!

Lisa - I understand about ruffles. I'm not much for them either.

I' m late but I'll play!

Sheath dresses
Crisp white button downs
Fit and flare
Anything with waist definition
Cropped flares
A pixie cut
Scarves
Burberry trenches

Artsy, drapey looks for the top part of my body. As Angie says I don't have the real estate. Mini shoulders and a mini torso.
Long cardigans. See above.
White jeans. Dirt attacks me immediately.
Heels. My feet can't tolerate them.
Shoes in general.
Button up shirts. They don't button up.

The following doesn't work for me:
Sheath dress
Pencil skirt
Skinny jeans
Leggings/tunic outfit
Tucked in tops
Trench coat

  • Arty, drapey looks (I feel like a fraud)
  • RATE (drives me crazy to wear - I like my clothes/grooming to be neat)
  • long cardigans (I feel like I'm wearing a bathrobe)
  • Colors that look awful on me, like mustard and beige

Great question!

Navy blue! All those years of school uniforms ruined it for me.

I really dislike anything remotely nautical for myself. I love stripes (as long as not navy) and love white wide legs or flares but put them together on me----bleh!!!!!

Boxy tops and sweaters look horrible on me but on someone really thing or tall, the look fabulous.I still occasionally find one I like a wear it anyway.

Anything beige, tan, brown, on my top half. I look so washed out and sick.

Mine is not so much a series of garments but a total look. I know several women who dress like this. None of them are butch but their clothes are very masculine and normcore before there was normcore. Man tailored slacks, polo shirts, even baseball caps. All of them are probably in their 70's, all are quite tall and fit and sturdy. At least one of them dates a lot and has a penchant for really super-glam nightclub type wear and looks amazing in that, too. I can do super glam but I can't do the normcore and am totally jealous. They all look extremely self-possessed.

Oh there are so many!
Blue jeans - they have a very restricted season and, where I live and work, don't seem appropriate for so many occasions. Plus I find them uncomfortable. Better left to others.

High heels - I've had several goes over the years at " dressing like a grown-up" meaning wearing heels. I have some expensive heels to show for it stuffed in the darkest corners of my wardrobe. I've often wondered if there is some congenital difference between myself and the rest of female humanity?

Belts - anything stiff on my middle feels like I'm going to suffocate. Unless it's so loose it's hanging down - which defeats the purpose.

Crisp button-down shirts - they always succeed in making me feel suffocating at the same time well as shivery cold: not a pleasant feeling. Even memory of the last time I wore one still brings shivers down my spine, it was that unpleasant.

Oversized Woolen jumpers - itchy, hot and the constant threat of moth holes. But I absolutely love them on others, in a photo.

Late to the party but can't resist:

  • Statement necklaces -- for some reason on me the only statement they make is, "this ain't working". I haven't entirely given up hope though.
  • Shift or sack dresses -- just not right for my curvy shape.
  • Flowy cardigans -- I tend to look like I'm wearing an ill-fitting bathrobe.
  • Tucked in shirts -- look great on others, but dweeby on me. Ditto dress slacks -- they just don't look right for some reason. I think because I have a proportionally long rise.
  • High heels -- there are so many beautiful heels out there, but I do better in sensible shoes with 2" heels or lower. My closet still has some 3"-3.5" holdouts but I have banned myself from buying more (and those don't actually see the light of day).
  • Neutrals like camel, tan, olive, etc. I can do dark brown but not the sophisticated warm neutrals palette, though I love *all* colors.

Kookaburra - it seems like most of your list is due to comfort. I think some people are more sensitive to fabrics and sensations against the skin.

I also notice lots who can't wear some of the tan colors, myself included.

Plus, apparently I'm not the only one who has a hard time making a dress shirt fit.