The shame of returns... - YouLookFab Forum

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The shame of returns...

shoppingisfun

(website)

Veteran

I've bought a few things lately that I've realized are not quite "right" for my wardrobe or just were not exactly what I was looking for. As usual, I've kept the tags on, so I can still return them. But, tell me if I'm alone here...

I always feel like kind of a loser when I have to return clothes. Like, "Hello, I'd like to return these...yes, I'm an idiot who doesn't know what looks good on me/fits in my wardrobe/is in style/etc...".

I know it's good to be discerning, but every time I think I'm out of the "return rut" I seem to find my way back. I blame a lot of it on the fact that I do a lot of my shopping online (my size is often not stocked in the stores), but still!

Am I the only one who feels like a it's a personal failure to make a return?

Shopping

36 replies

Latest reply was from MsMary

taylor

Veteran

Everyone returns from time to time, particularly if you shop on line...there is no substitute for trying things on:)
No need to feel bad about it!

Anonymous

Well, considering that I have a total of 5 boxes laying on my kitchen floor, waiting to be taken back to UPS, I would say no! What can you do, sometimes things do not work out!

san

Veteran

I have stopped shopping online because I need to try things on. Sizes very so much and somethings just don't look the same in person as they do online. Even still I do not find it hard to return things when I have tried them on in the store because I get the vibe that the sales clerks are pretty much pressuring a person to take it home and if it doesn't work out return it.

Makrame

Veteran

I actually feel really good when I am returning items (as in, "I know what I want, and this is not it, so you can have it back!"). The only thing I dislike about returns is the time it can take to process returns in some stores and/or waiting in line. For that reason, I often find it the easiest to just get stuff from Nordstrom online - free shipping back with preprinted labels takes very little time.

Anonymous

You are not alone, I hate HATE HATE returning items in person or on line. I look at my order history at nordstoms and it says ....returned, returned, returned. But what are my options. I shop mostly on line and even when I drive some 70 + miles to a real store they never have my size or any selection. What I dislike most is the time involved and sometimes the cost ( though it would cost also the gas to drive too often). But I also find it a little embarrassing.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

I return ALL THE TIME! It is just not enough time and conditions for me in the store to make the right decision. I like something and I think it may work with my closet - I buy it. I bring it home, play with it in my closet with it and see how I feel. If I still feel excited about this purchase the next day I keep it. If not or I have any doubts - back it goes!
I may be a bad girl but I don't feel any guilt about this! It is not like I am trying to return something I have already worn.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I return all the time but have returner's guilt too! Especially when the SA looks at you and asks what's wrong with it.

Lately I've been saying, "It doesn't fit me, that's what's wrong with it." LOL.

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

Honestly, the sales associates probably see so many ill-advised purchases in the course of their day that they'd probably label you as a rare breed of discerning shopper when they saw you making a return. There's no shame whatsoever in taking a sober second look at a garment and deciding that, while it's ok, only the best will do for you.
I don't struggle with returners' guilt, just returners' rage. I hate hate hate going back to stores only to stand in line and walk away with nothing, and don't even get me started on posting international returns back to the states. In that case I'm out of pocket time and money. A big fail all around.

christieanne

Veteran

As someone who has been in retail for more than 25 years (and you wonder why I needed a sanity break?) and in management for 20, I can tell you all not to sweat it. Really, the sales associate/return counter person is not judging.
The only thing that is hard about a return in most shops these days is when the customer does not have a receipt. Even then with most computer systems, the SA needs to match the item with form of payment or a loyalty card (so if you buy with cash - save the receipt) and may need an id.
If you pay attention to a company's return policy and don't expect to have exceptions made to that (which happens A LOT - that is the customer we privately bemoan in the back office) then honestly, it is a simple punch in the reason in computer, and get you back to your day.
Shop away, return away and do not feel the least bit bad returning

Retailers average between 10-15% of total purchases returned depending on the store!
You are so not alone.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

Really interesting to hear a retailer's perspective Christieanne.

I return a lot of things. I tend to over buy, then see if what I've picked mixes with my current assortment. If it does not, that is a reason to return. Another reason is, "what was I thinking," and then there's the "this flattered me in the store, but looks bad at home" due to inaccurate mirrors.

I've rarely had bad experiences returning things, the only place I did was Barney's. I don't want to go back now.

90% of when I return something to a store I like, I will walk out with something new to replace the money I got back, sometimes spending even more. So the return gets me back in the store.

Louise

Veteran

It was good to a retailer perspective from christeanne. I return *loads* I have a parcel en route from New Look and I know at *least* 2 of the items will be going as I ordered 2 different items in 2 different sizes more than likely it will all go back. I also have £300+ worth of stuff sitting in my M&S online shopping basket. I keep adding to it over a couple of weeks then I can take things out that I change my mind on and add new stuff as its added to the store, I get to save postage this way! Again from past experience I will probably keep at most 2 items, more than likely the whole lot will go back. There used to be a time when I'd be distraught that nothing fit right, now I don't sweat it because I'm more picky.
I look at it the other way, that the shop should see returns as their fault; if the stuff was fantastic you wouldn't be returning it? X

jenanded

Veteran

Thats super interesting Christieanne, but think my behaviours are very like Cocolion's in that things can be so different in store to the reality of me dressing at 7am at my house which is THE litmus test for style, comfort, versatility etc... I am guilty of sometimes going to a different shopping centre to return though... As for mail order... There are some places that I have just stopped shopping from/getting their catalogues etc as they have been consistently bad quality. If its something I already have seen etc and I want that colour in my size, thats a different story. OR if I have 'window-shopped' and decided to think about it over night, then ordering it straight from the site and that reduces the number of return visits which are time consuming!

Irene

Veteran

There's no shame in being picky and demanding. I know nobody except my mom who returns stuff as much as I do. My friends don't understand how I can return things. That's because they settle for less than I do. As simple as that. I've become even pickier than my mom lately and I find nothing wrong with that. I almost always get compliments on fit, style and color, and it's because I try not to settle for less than 'perfect for me'.

Jjsloane

Veteran

I buy. I return. I buy. I return. LOTS. I feel badly if I don't have my receipt, but only attempt those returns at Nordstrom or the Rack so they are quite patient and can look up my card. I do find if I'm not purchasing something else I will make an excuse that DH did not like it, or I hadn't had a chance to try it on when I bought.
I was in retail for awhile too. In stores where you are accountable for your daily sales and all you have are returns that day it can be tough. I get that feeling when I return to WHBM or Loft or BR. The sales people tend to have a certain attitude if you decline to "look around for something else".

Mirp

I'm a returnacholic -- I always make sure I know the rerun policy and put the date in my calender so I do not forget. I'm trying to live in the now -- so unless it is for a special occasion --if I purchase something and do not use in with in 28 days (the standard return period in the UK) back it goes to the store.

I never feel bad; especially with online purchases as you have to try it on for fit. I also think the reason there are so many offers for "free" shipping is because once the item is in the customer's home most of them cannot be bothered to go through the hassle of sending it back -- so they say I'll hive it to my sister/ cousin friend -- etc. I may be less profitable than the average consumer but the retailers are more than happy with me as a customer as they are still making money.

anchie

Veteran

I don't have problem to return things that I ordered on line. It is similar like taking things to a dressing room. You are not obliged to buy everything that you tried on. But I hate returning things in person. Last time I did it SA asked me why I am returning it and did a sniff test on the items. I was mortified and insulted. And it is not like I had the clothes for ages, it was Monday and I have bought them on Saturday (they are closed on Sunday). And I did not ask for money back but got something else instead. I have not returned to that store since.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

The only time I feel bad about a return is when I wait a long time to make it...and the window closes, so I'm stuck with an item I don't love. I have a few things to put on eBay because of this.

One more reason I love stores like Nordstrom who have generous return policies!

missvee

Veteran

I have no problem returning things because I often buy without trying on first. I just tell the SA that the garments don't fit or don't suit me. One thing though, I return them within a couple of days of purchasing so that they can get back in the store's inventory as soon as possible.

citygirldc

(website)

Veteran

I don't have a problem with returning items at all especially if I find something better than before, or if the item doesn't look like it did when trying on at the store.

Isabel

Veteran

YES !!! I feel that way too when it is more than a couple of things. In fact, I have avoided returning to the store on a couple of occasions and returned by mail, though it costs more. I have 4 things that I am going to return to Macy's today which I have been avoiding. They always ask why, and I feel as if I am insulting them when I say, " I just didn't like them....."

Jewell

Veteran

I never feel guilty about returning items that don't fit well, aren't a good match for my style, have disappointing quality, or fit into the "like but don't love" category. Occasionally I've returned something because I found it at a better price from the same retailer or a different one. I sometimes feel a small twinge of guilt when I do this. I hate having to return anything that I've removed tags from. I feel like the sales people are thinking, "She wore it, and now she wants to give it back." When I worked in retail, women would come in with things they'd worn for months wanting to return them. I thought that was so tacky and gave the impression that they were desperate for money to spend. I used to be an impulsive shopper, and that made me a habitual returner. I've gotten so much better since joining YLF : )

Amy

(website)

Veteran

I return things a lot, often after I've tried them on in the store. Sometimes, you just need to put them on at home, pair them with things you already own and move about them a bit to get a real sense of whether or not they will work for you. I used to feel embarrassed about this, but now I just try to keep in mind that it's part of a process that works for me and helps me make informed rather than impulsive decisions.

My previous wardrobe, built more out of impulse, did not make me happy. The more thoughtful one I'm creating now does make me happy.

Mrs Moo

I worked in clothes retail when I was younger and was usually the person manning the returns desk! I can tell you from experience that I never minded those individuals genuinely returning items that didn't fit/didn't look right or they changed their mind about.

What I did mind, *a lot* were the cheeky so and so's that would buy a dress, outfit or shoes, wear it for a night out and bring it back later in the week stinking of perfume and quite clearly worn and try to pass it off as "It didn't fit". It might surprise you to find out this happened a lot! So unless you're doing this - and I highly doubt you are - I think you have no worries and please don't feel guilty! :0)

D'Ellen

Veteran

Returning is so much better than regretting.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

One of my friend told me (as a badge of honour) that she never returned 1 thing. EVER. Either she must be loaded or has a HUGE closet of yucky things, because she dresses nicely

taylor

Veteran

I will add after working at Ann Taylor for 5 yrs. The serial ~buy the dress, wear to the wedding , return the dress~ customer can be incredibly annoying, and there is plenty of that going around , sale associates see this too:)

Mander

(website)

Veteran

It would never even occur to me to feel ashamed about a genuine return. Obviously I wouldn't do the thing where you wear it for a special occasion and then try to bring it back (one reason why a lot of formal wear has a tag that says you can't return it without the tag), but there are many legitimate reasons to bring something back. Deciding that it doesn't really work with your wardrobe is one of them.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I always end up stuck behind the lady who is whining that her special occasion dress was only worn once so why can't she return it.

I feel bad for the SA.

velvetychocolate

Veteran

I have a problem with this...but its not what you think. I have a ton of stuff I've bought that I didn't bother to return. This isn't good. There are a lot of things in my closet that still have the tags on, unworn.

I must stick to "Team Store" from here on out, and I need to be a bit more careful of just buying stuff because I feel like I 'need' something. My wardrobe is still a bit of a disaster, part and parcel of losing a bunch of weight and still not quite finished the process yet - so I end up buying something on an 'as needed' basis. For instance, I'll need a pair of dress pants or a dress for an event and end up snapping something up in a big hurry because I need it the next day or the day after that.

I don't like returning things and I feel guilty about it. Because of this, I have a bunch of stuff in my closet that I've never actually worn, still hanging there, new.

Not feeling very good about this.

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