Firecracker- that's an excellent point, we can learn from compliments given to others too. After all, isn't that the great part of being able to be a YLF lemming? I think being a lemming is the ultimate compliment!! Some else's compliments make us copy their choice of clothing proving imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!!
Shevia - yes, giving a compliment is a great, great pleasure!! Even a short sincere one is a true and thoughtful gift!
jackiec - specific compliments are so helpful because you know you've nailed an element. I'm someone who likes to tick off boxes on my list. killer blazer - check, great jeans - check. It make you feel like you are getting a handle on pieces, color, proportion - it just makes getting dressed more managable!!
Suz - so agree. Angie's greatest gift is not just her incrediblely educated eye or her exquisite taste - it's her true sensitivity, kindness, tact and warmth. Many people can have knowledge but not many can convey it in a way that is clear, useful, specific, helpful but never hurtful. By giving input in a positive way - "do you see how that cowl neck opens up your chest and frames your face and helps create a lovely vertical line" vs " you should try a cowl neck because that crew neckline draws attention to your neck in a less than flattering way and accentuates your bust line" same info but one tells you why it looks bad while the other focuses on how the other makes you look good. The first response is focused on showcasing something attractive the second is helpful but now we are trying to camouflage a negative. What if that person never noticed the softening of her neck or thought her chest was lovely in being ample. We've now created a negative where none may have existed or touched on a sensitivity if it had.
Marley - I do think we are thinking the same thing. I completely agree feedback at it's best and critique is meant to change behavior or choice. So you need information the positive and negative - what needs to be reconsidered and reviewed so we can make the best choice, otherwise the information is not as helpful. It's how we choose to frame our negatives. As I said above to Suz - telling someone they might want to raise the hem on their skirt because they have beautiful legs and it will hit them at the most flattering and btw on trend point vs telling them to shorten that skirt because the length is matronly are two ways of conveying the same infomation. I always try to present negative info in a postive way. I waqnt that person to be hearing in ther head "Wow, I have nice legs and that length is really more flattering" which is a lot nicer than hearing you inner self think "I look matronly in this skirt, if I shorten it, hum, will I look less matronly. Maybe all my looks are matronly...." I don't want to feel I create that type of inner monologue for anyone. I personally can do enough of that to myself without any help!!
Beth Ann - confidence brings success. If you can work off one good thing you can often piggy back a lot more good things. Telling people what they do well and then asking for more of that or, now that you've aced that let's try.... Great teaching empowers!!
gardenchick - I love what you said. I want to print it out and read it over and over. Isn't the greatest give when we really take the time to "see" and appreciate each other, in every area!! What a gorgeous insight!!
Neel - that is so sad!! I am so glad that the forum fills a tiny bit of the void being so far from you mum, but I must tell you, you are so stylish and beautiful, if I saw you in line at the supermarket, I would definitely tell you how fabulous you looked!! I try and do that, remember to smile, hold doors, give compliments etc - those little random acts of unexpected kindness - they empower the world!! You deserve tons of them!! Beaming good karma your way!!
crutcher - another beautiful thought. Positive ripples spreading out until the entire lake dances with joy!! Love it!
lyn67 - what a beautiful heart you have. Giving love and praise as a gift. "The cistern contains, the fountain overflows." You make the world a better place and what an example you are to your daughter, you are truly one of the blessed!!
IK - that is exactly what I am talking about. We need to know what we did right, as well as wrong. Specific and detailed positives are crucial to being able to understand what was good so it can be repeated. Areas of improvement are crucial to, but they can always be phrased in a constructive and positive manner. That's exactly it!!

Thanks gryffin! Appreciate your thoughtful response to our responses

I have found that since joining this forum it is much easier to find the positives in the outfits of others, and even to enjoy the natural beauty in the simplest of things around us.
I too now like to give compliments to strangers and friends alike, and would love to see more positivity in the world!
Thanks for the reminder Gryffin

P.S You are an excellent writer, and a great asset to YLF.

Lyn - thank you, that's very sweet of you to say. Maybe it's just getting older Lyn, since I'm mid 50's, but I do feel life mirrors back what we bring to it. Whether we look for beauty, kindness, strife, anger that's what we are going to see. I am the farthest thing from a Pollyanna, but I kind of embrace that although none of us can control circumstances and life we have complete control on how we view them. Reframing negatives has really helped me find the tactical advantages and beauty in many areas of life. I feel sincere compliments are one way we bring that out into the world!!

I think a lot of women are critical of themselves anyways, seeing faults even where there are none. So when others criticize further it may at times just add fuel to the fire.
I really do think compliments have immense power to help people realize their potential. It may push someone to be more confident, take more risks and even just experiment a bit more. Here on YLF I like how positive people are. I must admit I am not so good at complimenting others, I tend to notice flaws first. But after spending some time here on YLF I have learnt to hold those a bit and realised that actually maybe that flaw in other's style is just my perception of how style should be, and I may be thinking narrow. So I do tend to hold expressing negative opinions. But if I love something, I do also push myself to express it - even if it is a simple one liner - YLF!

T- YLF and the forum are very special places. I think this haven of positivity is rare and so empowering! I think it pushes us out of our reference frame and helps us see beauty in everyones style!!

I love to compliment others in all sorts of ways. Sometimes it may be simple....something about the way they are dressed or a great new haircut or shoes. But I am far more likely to compliment others on their efforts, achievements, thoughtfulness, kindness, generosity, integrity, heroics or great behaviours like fostering a handicapped child, caring for an elderly parent, being a great mother or friend, being an outstanding professional or doing something that truly makes a makes a difference in the world. It is the attributes of character that I admire the most and I'm never shy to compliment and tell people that I admire what I've observed.

I agree that compliments are great to get and to give. I am a bit more restrained here sometimes since a couple of people have voiced some concern about being complimented on something they didn't ask about, but I try to judge it based on what I think I know about the person. I typically stick to the outfit unless they mention their new hair, new exercise routine and success, etc. Sometimes I wonder if it's okay to say someone looks tall or in really good shape, etc. It's good to know most people enjoy getting this feedback.