Thanks!
The idea is not only to find a seamstress, I think, but a good one. It took me years.
fashiontern and Isabel, you are right, personal life changes happened and I think it's worth sharing since you both can noticed the difference.
In 2013, I still lived with - but was technically separated from - my ex, who, despite many other qualities, had a very bad habit of yelling at me for no reason. Actually, now, yes, I can admit it was verbal abuse, plain and simple. Well, this is what daily verbal abuse for years will do to someone, and it shows in the appearance too, don't be fooled. I had become like frozen, detached, very passive. I had found a way to send my son to study in a different city just to avoid submitting him to the daily yelling and belittling.
But I found the strength in me to leave. It was extremely difficult and scary because my ex was well-off and had a prestigious status in the government, while I was facing living on very low wages with zero job security, and move out to a poor neighborhood. It meant leaving a house to go live in a tiny apartment that I wouldn't know if I could pay for from one term to the next. It meant praying for my car not to break down in the snow, and giving up my beauty regimen at an age when wrinkles start appearing. It meant letting my hair grow because it's cheaper to keep up. etc, etc. I didn't even realize back then I was entitled to help. But still, I leapt.
The second jeans picture is taken 3 years later, in the apartment's kitchen, by my (then 19yr) son. I am happy, I am starting to regain control over my life. I am starting to beleive again this is my life! The minute I left, I felt better. Yes, it was very scary and I did experience set backs at work. The walls of my new abodes were not new-freshly painted, with the occasional bug crawling on them; I had to sell my Mercedez to get a cheaper car, yes, I had to start shopping at Winners and space out my beauty appointments. And during this time I could never go on a vacation, let alone take one. But never did I feel a horrible pinch, never did I regret, never would I go back! I am happier now. I remember when I did my first food shopping trip alone and had forgotten something: and _nobody_screamed_ at_me!
I realized the extent of the damage when I started dating seriously a new guy and realized what the previous relationship's dynamics had done to me: I would crouch in alarm for no reason, I never expressed what I wanted, I tended to tip-toe around the other person... all these behaviors are destructive, but the worse was my passivity. My previous abusive relationship had made me too passive and it was hindering my capacity at being a full, complete partner in my new relationship. Luckily my new man is very perceptive, loving and ready to work with me, and I can put those days behind. What you see on the "after" pictures is a woman who is not yelled at every day.
I am sorry for my long comment and for opening up on such a sensitive issue here. I realize other women are also in the midst of similar - or not - personal battles and it's painful and difficult. What I did might not be within reach for some, and that is extremely difficult and painful to even just imagine.