Someone please tell me some good news - YouLookFab Forum

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Someone please tell me some good news

Janet

(website)

Veteran

You guys, I'm having a rough day and just need to hear some good news.

Belgium trip cancelled, stepson back in the hospital. My BFF's uncle passed away yesterday (the anniversary of my dad's death), and my other BFF's wife is back in the danger zone with her cancer. I really want to hear some good things to bring my spirits back up.

My husband and I were so looking forward to a lovely Christmas away, just the two of us. We've been apart so much this year. And now his son has had another relapse -- it seems he went off his meds, and now he'll be spending Christmas in a hospital ward. Just, damn.

I know everything will be OK, and we'll get through this and make the best of it, but I'm feeling darn low today. I needed to vent a little, so I'm sorry to dump a pity party in here. But if anyone has a good thought or prayer to spare, I'd appreciate it.

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45 replies

Latest reply was from Janet

bridgie

Veteran

I am so very sorry Janet.. Hang in there. There will be a turn around for you.

I am speaking from experience. I am old enough to be your grandmother. My prayers are with you

MsMary

Veteran

Damn! I'm so sorry, Janet! Mental illness is so tragic for everyone involved!

My good news is that I am on the other side of a very tough time and honestly I keep pinching myself to make sure it's all real. Divorce final, fabulous new house nearing completion, DS back in the States and doing well, and even a nice new man to spend a little time with. Such a welcome change from the loneliness and uncertainty that were hanging over my head this time last year! So yes, things do turn around. Big hugs to you, my friend!!

Susie

Veteran

Oh, Janet, that is just too much bad news at one time...I am so sorry. Is it possible to reschedule the Belgium trip, maybe for mid January or so? I know that it always helps me a bit to have something to look forward to during rough patches.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Oh Janet, I'm so sorry. That's a lot to deal with all at once - and it always seems doubly difficult at this time of year when something bad happens. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

My good news is we are having an incredibly mild winter so far. Last year we set a record for the coldest winter in the last 100 years, plus a huge amount of snow. The temperature today is a mere -5 Celcius and we have maybe 4 inches of snow. So much nicer running errands when it's not blowing wind at -40! I realize it could all change and become completely miserable but I'll enjoy it while it lasts

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

(((HUGS)))). I'm so sorry, Janet. A tough emotional day.

This thread is full of heartwarming news - read till the end of it:

http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....ts-and-pup

Can you plan another little getaway with Hubs?

Hug Tippie, Sophie and Sandy, and let them nurture you. Go for a run and treat yourself to a Xmas snack afterwards.

Much love, and hang in there. xo

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I'm so sorry for the abrupt change in plans and do hope your stepson is feeling better very soon. My prayers are with you and your family and friends.

My stories do not compare with the challenge of dealing with someone passing away or getting bad health news, but I still thought I'd share...just as a distraction if nothing else.

I remember one year we went to Key West for a special b-day. It was the first trip in a long time as we own our own business and it's hard to get away. We're at the airport, feeling pretty good about our upcoming time away, and then we get "the call." Our staff members locked themselves out of the office - ALL of them and ALL of their keys inside, with everything running inside, even someone on hold on the darn phone - and they could not find a way in (we had really good security). Apparently one had gone out to "see something" and then everyone trailed after them and the last one closed the door behind themselves and it self locked.

After about an hour of panic at the airport, I realized I had someone with an emergency key that could come and let them in. Whew! Needless to say there was some wine drinking on that flight. It put an uncomfortable damper on the whole trip as we realized that we had no one we could really count on.

There was also a big, very planned Canadian trip that we had to cancel last minute due to a hurricane heading straight towards us and our fear of what would happen if we were away and things got really bad. And then there was the trip to Florida to see family when a key staff member decided to call us just before we leave for the airport to give us his 2 weeks notice...

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Thank you, all, so much. I appreciate the good thoughts, and I am smiling to read your good news.

Bridgie, I know you are right. My husband and I have been very fortunate, not just this year but all in all. We have a wonderful life and have been through a lot together. We've been down a tough road with my stepson before, and I feel tired just thinking of going through this again, but the good thing is that we know what we're dealing with and he's getting quick treatment. He's such a bright, creative, loving person that it's awful to see him "not himself."

Thank you, Mary! I know you've been through so much, and it's been such a kick to see you starting anew with such gusto and style. I'm so glad your son is back too! And what fun that there is a new man in your life as well. Sounds like a wonderful holiday is shaping up for you! That makes me smile -- you deserve it!

Susie, we talked briefly about that -- we might just rethink the vacation completely. Part of the point was experiencing the holidays in Europe. Maybe a tropical getaway later this winter instead…

Shannon, thank you too for the good thoughts. I know you've been through a tremendous amount lately too. I'm glad you're having more moderate weather for a change! -40 sounds awfully bone-chilling, even for the girl who likes to travel to Antarctica! I hope it lasts for a while.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Angie, thank you for the hugs and thoughts! Hubs is driving home instead of flying, so we get to have the holidays with Sunny as well as Tippi and Sophie, so that's a silver lining in all of this. Too bad I've done ZERO decorating other than the sad little pre-lit tree that finally decided to have half the lights die on it this year. I threw some garlands around it, tucked Christmas cards in it, and called it a day, since we were going to be away for Christmas. I'm afraid the house doesn't look very festive, but oh well.

I have been eating too many cookies that I had left over from last weekend (I made them for my studio open house). A run is definitely in order!

Texstyle, I'm glad your Key West trip didn't get totally waylaid! A little adventure like that just makes it all the sweeter when you escape.

The last time hubs and I went to Europe, our dog Rocky ended up needing spinal surgery -- we thought we were going to have to cancel the rest of our trip and fly home to put him to sleep. We don't have the best luck with our European trips, do we?

Alassë

Veteran

Praying for you.

Karie

(website)

Veteran

Sending hugs and prayers your way! I can share some good news - I had eyelid surgery a week ago (droopy eyelids) and the Dr. says they're healing nicely. Bad news/good news: DH hit a deer (bad news) but DH is fine (very good news).

And a pic to cheer you: Cosmo Edward and I made some homemade treats yesterday. Cosmo knows he has to share them with Santa's reindeer

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Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Oh man, that sucks. I hope your stepson feels better soon and that you guys have a nice Christmas in whatever way you can manage it. Is there anyone else who could help out with your stepson temporarily so you could still go on your trip?

I was actually thinking about posting an OT thread today to ask for advice on dealing with my mother and her desire for a stereotypical Christmas, even though it's just not gonna happen this year. So far since October my mom's been diagnosed w/ breast cancer and had a mastectomy (she's doing great), my uncle (her brother) died after fighting pancreatic cancer, my father-in-law had several small heart attacks and has been diagnosed with coronary artery disease and congestive heart failure, with one stent installed and several more operations to come, and my sister-in-law was diagnosed with a thyroid tumor and had half of her thyroid removed on Tuesday. Not to mention the chronic health issues I've been dealing with that have no end in sight. So while I understand my mom's desire to have us visit and see us all and do all the presents and gifts and things, all I want to do is spend a quiet Christmas at home with my husband and not be flying across the country (not to mention saving up money and my DH's vacation time for when we'll have to go help my FIL with his further hospitalizations).

Boy, that was just a big vent about me, sorry, and not the good news you are looking for. I keep reminding myself that life is what happens while you're making other plans, as the cliche goes, and what matters to me at least is being mindful and aware as things happen, and to be kind to myself and others as much as I can. I splurged on an eggnog latte yesterday and there was a homeless woman in a wheelchair parked along the walkway, and I offered and gave her a bottle of water from my car. Not a big difference in the grand scheme of things but hopefully it helped a little bit.

Peri

Veteran

I'm so sorry! Of all the crappy times to get flattened by circumstance, right when we are "supposed" to be joyful and happy. I think this season actually makes us feel worse when things go wrong.

I have no good advice to add, just some virtual hug and a story that might make you smile a little. Totally true, I'm not making this up.

On vacation in California several years back, my DH and I spent a lot of time at the San Diego Zoo. We went to some of those animal meet and greets and one was on reindeer...where we learned the amazing fact that male reindeer drop their antlers in the Fall. Only female reindeer have antlers in the winter.

Well, think about that. All those pictures of Santa's sleigh...OMG, all of Santa's reindeer are girls! Even Rudolph is a girl!!!

So that's how they get it all done in one night!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

YAY. Sunny is coming for Xmas too. That's a gift in itself.

Janet, it's not too late to decorate. Throw together some more decorations and surprise hubs when he comes home. It will give you a fun little project and take your mind off the sad things. xo

crutcher

Veteran

This, too, shall pass away....

abc

Veteran

Hugs and good thoughts XOXOXO

SW Ann

Veteran

.I don't have any particularly good news to share, but I do agree with Angie--it really takes my mind off things to decorate and make my home look festive even when I don't "feel" it....If you like doing that sort of thing, a couple of hours decorating your home might help you; along with a run, or even a walk with your dogs later....
I'm sorry for your bad news. Bad news is bad anytime, but it really sucks when it changes the things you were looking forward to doing..... However, you have each other, and that is good....

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Throw together some decorations...and order the Whole Foods turkey.

Also -- if you can't go on holiday to Belgium now, at least you can have a night together in a swanky hotel somewhere in town? Or...even a weekend in NYC? (I don't know how long you can be away from stepson safely/ comfortably. But perhaps between Christmas and New Year's?)

I'm so sorry to hear about your stepson, Janet. It's very hard to care for someone who suffers from a mental illness. It sometimes seems that the emergencies never end. And the timing is always so wrong. Big hugs to you!!

Gigi

Veteran

Prayers coming your way!

Dimity

I know you already appreciate the wonderful things in life that you have, like having a loving relationship, a home, being warm, food, clean water. When I'm in a funk, I like to actively think of all these things and be grateful for them. I try to remember all of the wonderful opportunities that I have. The simple fact that I was born in a safe democracy where women have equal rights and that I have never had to wonder where my next meal is coming from puts me in a happier place than the vast majority of the world's population. I so appreciate the position of privilege and the comfortable life that I have in the world scheme. I wasn't born in a slum and have to pick through garbage to make a living, and I don't have to watch my children die from dirty water or malnutrition. It puts the downer situations in perspective for me.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

So sorry Janet. Big hugs to you & wishing your step son a speedy recovery. We've had health scares with family & friends this year too - my BFF is also dealing with breast cancer & I feel so powerless!

Our good news is we are spending Christmas with our grandson - there is nothing like the enthusiasm of a 5 yo to make life seem worthwhile. Grandchildren are the next best thing to puppies

Anonymous

Oh, no. I'm sorry Janet ((hugs)). Things will turn around sometime for you and hubs. Meantime I think you need to plan some treats for you and DH, like meals out, a night in a hotel, trip to the cinema etc. Maybe book yourself a facial or manicure too?

Meanwhile, here's a Christmas cartoon to give you a chuckle.

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Debora

Veteran

Oh, Janet! I'm so sorry to hear that your vacation had to be canceled. I really do hope you will be able to reschedule a getaway for later this winter. I had the same thought as Suz and Diane, perhaps you could treat yourself to a night in a nice hotel.

Here's a little dog video to put a smile on your face. Pure joy.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=b82OrghTguM

Your stepson will be in my thoughts. Wishing him all the best.

JenA

Veteran

Janet,
I'm so sorry to hear that you have to cancel your trip. I hope your step-son has a fast recovery. I am sending you a big hug!!!

My good news is that my brother's job situation has worked out and he now has a great opportunity in Baltimore. He's going down to MD soon and commuting from our childhood home in Potomac until he moves his family at the end of the school year. They've lived in the area before, so they are excited to return.

I think planning a warm weather trip in the middle of the winter is such a great idea. We are not really beach people but visiting Florida in either February or March has always been such a great way to get a short break from the cold.

I wish I lived closer to help you decorate! What a great excuse to go to Home Goods and get all those fun things that you really don't need. Kohls has the cutest table cloths, napkins and dish towels.

Big Hug!
Jen

Anonymous

Shoot - that's a horrible finish to the week, and I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Honestly, doesn't it seem that these things happen in bunches, just like you are experiencing? I've come to think over the years that there is often some cosmic reason for pulling us back home, for not getting us on that flight, whatever it may be.....I'm not getting all spiritual and weird here, but maybe staying put and just being with those who seem to need you right now is what you are supposed to be doing. I know, I know, I'd rather be off in Europe too ....but - as others suggest: ope a bottle of wine, put on some Christmas music, get out some decorations, light a fire, and be glad you're still in one piece I hope your stepson gets his situation under control - I know all about those issues in my own family. Hang in there - we 're right here with you.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

It is particularly difficult when family are ill over the holidays. Hang in there Janet. You have lots of fab trips in your future.

I am having my parents and son over for Xmas dinner and am really looking forward to it. I am making a prime rib roast instead of turkey because we enjoy it more. My son won a really good promotion and is doing really well. As Shannon said, our weather is great. All good stuff.

Deborah

Veteran

Janet I was only thinking if your step son last week:). I am so sorry to hear of your challenges.

While not touching me personally, we have had an awful week in Australia with a siege in the heart of Sydney and a terrible tragedy in Cairns yesterday. If anything the challenges and the stresses of life give good cause to remember the positives. I will be praying for you and your family, and your friends and believing that much positive and much blessings will be the end result.

columbine(erin)

Veteran

Hugs, Janet. I hope your stepson gets through this crisis safely and that you all do have happy holidays!

Style Fan

Veteran

I am so sorry to hear about your news Janet. Mental illness is so difficult. We have our share in our families (DH and I).

I don't have any amazing good news but DH and I will be married for 10 years on the 28th. I am not someone who gets caught up in birthdays and other dates but it sounds like cause for celebration. Double digits!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Thank you, everyone. I am in a bit of a rush right now, but I want you to know how much I appreciate all the stories, words of support, commiseration, and encouragement. Hubs is on his way home, stepson #1 was a huge help in dealing with the situation with his brother, and stepson #2 is in a safe place getting the help he needs. We'll get through this. I could rant about their mother's lack of help and interest in this whole thing, but that does no good.

I'm off to make the best of this day that I can. Hugs to you all. Thank you!

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