Great thread. Having grown up in a home with a very very neat freak mother we were trained to take off our shoes and then march to the sink to wash our hands (she was really ahead of her time on that one).
Consequently, I have always had this anxiety about people tracking mud and dirt into my house. I yell at the boys constantly, of course!
For parties, if it is really bad out, I just put a throw rug at the door - if there are kids, they are all instructed to remove their shoes immediately. The adults generally are considerate and check, and wipe. Occasionally people ask if they should remove their shoes. But, I would never ask adults to remove their shoes unless I could see soggy mud or snow covering them.
I don't mind the dirt on the tile, wood or laminate which is easy enough to clean after a party, but I do very much mind it on carpet.
Just last night a new friend came over for a glass of wine and, without asking, she removed her fashionable boots and put on a pair of comfy sandals she had brought with her in a little bag - I thought it was interesting.
I think it is all about consideration, it just is common sense to check your shoes when you enter a home and if they are muddy remove or ask for a paper towel to clean them off.
I do remember that "Sex in the City" episode!

My Mum was Eurasian, and we grew up removing shoes in our home too. I understand the cultural norm.

Greg and I wear slippers or socks at home, but put on shoes when we have guests. I guess my gripe is that I don't want to be expected to remove my shoes in another home unless I've brought my slippers with me. I do not like to go barefoot or wear socks in other people's homes. And having to remove your shoes at a fancy bash in someone's home makes little sense to me. There are ways to work around that when the weather is bad as I mentioned in an earlier comment on this thread.

Feelings will differ here, and we have to find a way that works for us. In Seattle there are both shoe removing homes and shoe homes. Sometimes I ask the host if I should remove my shoes and sometimes I don't.

I'm actually with Angie on this one, even though I remove my shoes in my own home and it is generally expected to do so in other people's. Often, my footwear is an integral part of the outfit, so I don't really want to take them off. On the other hand, I don't want to track the dirt and wet onto someone's nice carpets. The only real solution is to bring an extra pair of dry shoes. People are fine if you change your shoes for a party. For more informal hanging out inside people's homes, I just take off my shoes and sit there in my socks.

I have to weigh in on the minority here. I agree with gryffin as a pet owner, I can't really in good conscience ask guests to remove their shoes. I do agree that it is polite to make sure that your feet are clean from any mud, snow, sand, or anything yucky, before entering someone's home. If I am going to a close friends home for a comfy evening then I will probably pad around in my socks--just because it's comfortable and I feel able to do so. Same goes if I have friends over to my house. They are welcome to take off their shoes but only for their comfort, not because of any house rules that I have. Stuff is stuff and I'm not going to sweat it. . One of the most uncomfortable evenings I ever spent involved a hostess (that I knew very well) following people around in her home cleaning up after them. Cleaning "scuff" marks off her linoleum in the kitchen and any spot she could find from her white carpet in the den. Very awkward, to say the least. We never accepted another invite to their home. I want people to remember a visit to my home as pleasant and enjoyable. Not worrying about their feet, shoes or what ever. IMHO a relaxing evening shouldn't be that difficult.

I totally agree with Angela. IMO, people are always more important than stuff and I would not put my floors above someone's comfort. I also agree that the shoes are an important part of the outfit so I would hate to have to remove them!

That said, I understand that cultural practices are an important consideration. If I was asked to remove my shoes I certainly would do. I'm just glad it's not the norm here.

I don't have anything novel to say. I live in the snow belt. I have hardwood floors and so do my neighbors and friends. Outdoor shoes get removed upon entry and some form of indoor foot cover is substituted.

This is of course a guideline, and if someone is unprepared, or uncomfortable, we forego this and allow the outdoor shoes to remain. My floors are easy to clean, and eventually will need to be refinished no matter what I do so I don't get too crazy. I have a 60 pound dog. He does more damage to the floors in a day than a few weekend guests with snow boots covered with a residue of salt and sand.

Oh, the same works when I go to friends homes, I definitely take off my shoes. I carry warm and fun socks to wear.

Thank you for all the replies! After more than a decade in the US (mostly in places where taking one's shoes off are the norm), I have accepted the practice and I do embrace it at home because it makes it so much easier to clean. Especially after having a child, it also feels much more sanitary! And I don't mind the shoe removal in the everyday. But what throws me off, as many of you pointed out, is when the occasion is fancy. Because the shoe often anchors the fancy outfit... and it looks funny to be all dressed up and in bare feet or stockings!

I love the suggestion of foldable slippers, thanks to all of you who recommended!

I live in Canada and we get a lot of snow. We have a dog who loves to be outside. We also have wood floors. People remove their wet boots in the winter or when it is wet. If they go to remove their footwear in the summer I tell them they don't need to because our dog doesn't. I clean the floors often (sometimes daily). Very few people bring shoes or slippers. Not sure why.

When I was in my twenties (many years ago) I was at a party and removed my very beautiful and expensive boots. When I went to leave my boots were gone.

Style Fan, that's so sad!... (And like the Sex and the City episode some of you remembered.) Do you think it was a guest or a passerby? And did the host do something about it?

This is such a great topic as we've been invited back to a house that requires shoe removal for a holiday party next week. The first time we attended a party at her house I was taken by surprise when I was asked to remove my beautiful, new shoes that made my outfit. I didn't have socks on, so the hostess handed me a pair of cashmere socks (which were yummy on my feet!) and my pants dragged across her "clean" floors all night. She has wood floors. So do I, but I also have Rhodesian Ridgeback dogs who can't take their nails off, so I live with the scratches and I don't sweat the small stuff.

I will pack some ballet slippers in my purse this year and wear cigarette length pants.

I can certainly understand being expected to take off wet,snowy shoes or boots but would want to replace them with something else. I feel undressed and way too casual without my shoes in someone's home, unless of course, it is family or close friends. I know there are different cultural norms but it seems we need to respect our guests feelings of comfort.

Well, for sure, you have to take off your muddy boots... but actually going shoeless... have to admit that has always bothered me. Between my mother's admonitions about going barefoot and disease, and then working in the food industry... it *like* not an option.

(and p.s., boy there are a lot of people whose houses I would not eat dinner at, after watching them clean at the bakery... hehe)

rachylou, you piqued my curiosity! I'm both a germaphobe and also fascinated by all things food. I want to hear more... and also... I probably don't!