In this season of giving thanks, I wanted to take a moment to remember my best friend and beautiful cat, Chase, who crossed Rainbow Bridge on November 5, 2016. He will always have my deepest love and gratitude. I am resurfacing from my ground of grief and I am so grateful for having had his loving company for so long. As one friend said, not everyone understands the bond between a person and their pet. I know many of you do.

I was grieving, sad and feeling very raw with pain. My cat, Chase's, health deteriorated quickly and by Saturday, Nov. 5, he was gone. We had just returned from Las Vegas. It all happened so quickly and I have waves of huge sadness. But, I am having better days now.

One amazing thing that has been happening is that I have been finding heart-shaped rocks for about one year and this has been very comforting as I saw Chase in decline. In fact, November 14, 2015, is when I found my first heart-shaped rock (dark pink one, third one on the right). I was at a mindfulness retreat at the UCI campus and it was the day after the Bataclan concert hall massacre in Paris. Since then, I have found a few more in many different locations, or, rather, they have found me. (Photo 2)

Then, one other time, I thought to myself, “how does this happen.” I went outside to look at one of my heart-shaped rocks and there was my beloved, best friend, Chase's, discarded fur above it (from what, our cleaning lady)? It was a nice surprise, anyway, or as one of my dear friends said, "a loving gift from trickster Chase!” and another said, “Wee angel texts to let you know you're loved.” I'll go with that. (Photo 3)

Then, when I was out doing an errand for my mother, I looked down on the sidewalk and smiled at the heart-shaped smashed gum! (Photo 4)

Even finding a heart-shaped food crumb by his bed prompted me to write a haiku, because writing is a form of healing and processing for me. (Photo 5)

Finally, another funny thing happened today and it did feel like a wee angel text from Chase or another loving gift from trickster Chase, and either I'm completely open to these happenings and seeing more than others would believe or people may think I'm nuts seeing this, at all, but, it truly is happening. Here goes: I decided to look at one of my folding calendars today and decided to look at November 5, Chases's death day and read what it said. On the "other side" of the spiral-bound calendar was March 12, Chase's birthday. Wonderful coincidence? A happy hello and happy Thanksgiving? I'll take it. Then, moments later, Mike was removing the autumn wreath, from the front door, and replacing it with a holiday wreath, and he came in with a little piece of white-gray fur that was attached to the wreath being removed. Not one for giving credence to happy coincidences, Mike seemed convinced that it, too, was Chase's. To have it happen right after I discovered the attached calendar dates made this moment even more powerful. (Photo 6)

So, thank you for letting me share all of this with you. Some of you knew my cat, Chase, and knew how close we were. The warmth and love of YLF is a steady and sustaining source of kindness and support.

Here is what I wrote on that day Chase crossed Rainbow Bridge:

I knew this day would come and yet I'm not really prepared for it. But, on we go. The birds are singing; the planes roar overhead and the day is here.
Today, at 12:45 PM, my beloved cat, Chase, is making his passage along Rainbow Bridge. His tiny, little body is ready to let go. Last night, I was aware that it would be the last time I would say good night to Chase.
I'll miss my serene and steady companion in life and remember all of his wonderful virtues. Chase taught me how to get up each day, even on his last. He let me feel his softness for as long as I wanted.
At 18-1/2, he had a long and wonderful life, but, as we know, numbers don't matter. Chase was a wise teacher and life guide and he showed me "the way" over and over again.

To Chase: Yes, our bodies may wear out, but our love doesn't. Yes, I'm sad and bereft, and I'm so grateful you came into my life. I love you, Chase. Thank you, for showing me the way. May love carry us on.