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Refusing to define my style

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I’m so impressed with everyone on YLF who understands their style persona and can actually identify it…Demure Bombshell, UWP, Euro Chic, etc. I’ve been struggling with trying to figure out my style persona to the point where it’s stressing me because I think I’m supposed to know it. But last night I had an epiphany…why do I HAVE to define my style? Maybe some of us (me anyway) don’t have a style yet that is obvious. I feel I’m almost “style schizophrenic” – I like many elements of varying styles and don’t think at this point, I’m ready to define myself in a concrete way. So I’m going to relax, go with the flow and see where my choices lead me…

General

23 replies

Latest reply was from goldenpig

Anonymous

I agree. When I was younger, I experimented with a wide variety of styles. That's the only way to figure out what you feel and look best in. Yes, I made some fashion mistakes, but that's part of the learning process. At some point, you'll probably gravitate to a certain style. Enjoy the journey and don't worry about it.

Ana

(website)

Veteran

I think having and knowing a defined style can be useful. I do have one, but I can't remember it right now, honestly. What I tend to do more often while shopping is just look at an item and think about what I already have that will go with whatever I'm considering buying. Or, if I don't have anything, how I would ideally style the item AND if I'm willing to go to the trouble and expense of picking up those things I would need to make an outfit. I'm sure I probably gravitate to items that have a certain "look," but shopping this way keeps me open to new possibilities. I'm not hemming myself in by only sticking to items that are part of "my defined style," rather, I might choose something that on the surface is part of another style, but wear it in a way that is very "me" (hopefully). It keeps my wardrobe interesting to me.

ironkurtin

Veteran

If having a phrase is useful to you, then go for it. If it isn't, I don't think that's a big deal. I don't know how to describe my own style, but I'm sure someone else could come up with a nice label! Whether that would dictate later purchases, I don't know.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Shannon, OF COURSE you have a style - and it can be described in adjectives! We all have a style that can be described in words. For some people this process of description and aspiration is intuitive, while others need to formalize the process. In order for me to help my clients effectively, we have to formalize the process.

Just by reading the comments on both blog posts yesterday, I am able to understand the styles and the style goals of those forum members more effectively. I am now in a better position to actually help them here - should they seek assistance.

Shannon, you don't need to do these introspective exercises! They are just there if you feel they will help you

Amy

(website)

Veteran

You should absolutely relax and not stress about this. Just for the record, though, I don't see your style as anything remotely schizophrenic. There are common themes through all of your outfits.

You are more dressy than casual (but perhaps that's because we see you in your work outfits)

you like vintage styles

you love jackets

you enjoy black and white and shades of grey

you're polished, not RATE

I could go on...

Vix

Veteran

Enjoy where you are and how you're buying/experimenting!

I'm one of those who gradually came to feel that having a couple of labels was useful and practical, but it's not a mandatory thing -- you shouldn't force it.

As I was kind of floundering with a more or less "modern classic with retro leanings" direction, being able to tag myself as a Contrarian Classicist and Minimalist Magpie (ok, and also as someone with a small side of Persnickety Bohemian) keeps me focused when I am buying/having things made up.

It also helps me combine things in ways that feel like me -- vs a woman wearing a [fill in blank] outfit. I like to feel expressive but not costumed....

[I know making mistakes is part of the process of finding out what one's style is, but I wasn't (and am not) able to afford the time and money to make too many of them. Putting in a LOT -- some might say an excessive! -- amount of analysis up front makes my wallet happy and my closet function better for my needs, but I know others might find it waaaaay too boring and/or constraining!]

mrseccentric

(website)

Veteran

Quoting from Angie's blog post: "Don’t ever feel that you have to box yourself into one persona exactly as it is defined. It’s also perfectly fab to dress in a bohemian style one day, a preppy look the next, and a classic vibe the week after that. This chameleon integrity merely becomes part of your style.

The fashion personas are there to serve as a starting point...Not everyone will do this exercise explicitly. For some it will be completely intuitive."
http://youlookfab.com/2012/01/.....e-persona/

This was the part of Angie's post that i really enjoyed - that it is in no way ManDaTory to have a 'label' for your style! It is one tool among many, and it can be especially useful(and pry essential) in a stylist/client relationship.

Relaxing and exploring sounds like a lot of fun and very sensible at this point in your style journey! Vildy has a very intuitive way that she delves into her style inspirations and expresses them. There are so many ways to go about it, and the fun thing is none are 'required'!

I do agree with Amy that your style is a lot more coherent than you seem to feel....Have Fun!! steph

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Ok ladies - this is much food for thought and I totally thank you for your replies. I really appreciated Amy's breakdown of what she sees in my style. And Angie, I completely understand how in a client/stylist relationship, some introspection and definition is helpful. I actually did complete the "what I'm NOT" blog yesterday, but not the "what I am/want to be" blog...I'm not sure why...might hav to revisit that one.

catgirl

Veteran

Shannon, I felt exactly the same way as you and decided I was Team Eclectic. That gave me the freedom to do what I liked, and in that process I found lots of things that turned out to NOT be me (PB blouse, basic denim jacket, girly shoes). From there I was able to define what my style was NOT. That got me to where I am today - honing down what I enjoy and what works for me. I don't think it's about cnnsistency as much as simply knowing what I'll wear for me, and that is not always easy. I once compared it to playing blackjack - it's a lot easier if I have a basic strategy to guide me.

I absolutely support you, and by no means do I feel there's an order of how things go - you are likely miles "ahead" of me in this whole journey. You're absolutely right not to box yourself in too early if you're not there - just be prepared to assess along the way and eliminate what you don't like!

(You definitely have a style, because I can think of looks that would NOT seem like you to me at all. That doesn't mean you have to define it!)

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Ooohhhhh Una - I'd be very interested in hearing what looks you would NOT think of as me. Sometimes I think we don't see ourselves the way others see us.

catgirl

Veteran

Okay, I can't see you in any flowy boho skirts (think Mo's lounge looks), or a matchy conservative suit, or shredded jeans. I think that says you are more polished than RATE, but not classic. Don't see you in anything ruffly or with poufy shoulders or ultra-fitted. Don't see you in femme heels or pastels or anything too cute, like ditzy florals, or larger florals for that matter like the one Angie posted today.

That's a start - and if I'm off, let me know!

Anonymous

Yes, that's what's great about having the objective viewpoints we get here, Shannon!

I can't seem to come up with a catchy individual name for my style persona. Modern classic seems to fit the best. I'm going to wait till the end of the year to see if anything more specific emerges. I feel like I need to do it backwards because I might pick something, realize it's not quite what I want and be changing every month!

I think it's a good idea to relax and extablish a kind of "baseline" and then go from there. You're really doing great. Your hard work and effort are very apparant!

rae

(website)

Veteran

Off the top of my head, Shannon, things that your style is not (as I perceive it):

twee
fringe
aggressive (metal/punk/goth)
masculine
frilly
saccharine
hipster

But as others have said, these exercises are here to help us - not pressure us. I wanted to define my style, because too many influences left me feeling scattered - and turned my buying indescriminate. I wanted to focus. You don't seem to have that problem, so if it ain't broke, don't fix it!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Echoing Una and Amy here! I see lots of consistency in your style, whether you want to name it or not!

Actually, the acronym that Una made up for me might equally apply to you: ART (arty, retro, tailored). It's an interesting and somewhat unexpected combo; maybe that's where the feeling of schizophrenia comes in, LOL!

I love this acronym, though I'm not sure it perfectly describes my aspirational style, any more than "Euro-chic" describes it. Both express something important, however, and are guidelines I can keep in mind as I shop.

mrseccentric

(website)

Veteran

hmmmm.....Shannon, i am wondering if you might enjoy doing a little exercise which just occurred to me. All of the "Team X or Team Y" posts are listed in a handy archive page here:
http://youlookfab.com/category/team-x-team-y/

it might be fun for you to just print it out, and go down the list circling your team right off the top of your head. Since you are interested in people's feedback on how they see your style, you might get something out of it. And it should be pretty easy! (btw, i can't believe i missed the last one - thong, briefs or boyshorts. Gotta go support my team!) steph

Sylvie

Veteran

I feel that so long as there are some things you won't wear and some things you won't, so long as there are outfits that are "you" and one's that aren't, you have some sort of style. It may not be easy to categorize, define or describe but it's there.

I am struggling with defining my style, so I haven't commented on the blog posts yet. (Just erased a bunch of navel gazing). I think if we aren't ready to define our styles quite yet, just working on figuring out what we like and don't like and generally upping our game is a good first step. Eventually it will coalesce into some sort of style statement.

catgirl

Veteran

Suz, feel free to ditch my acronym, or add a C ("CART" = Changing Arty Retro Tailored)! I think it's helpful to know how people see us so we can decide if evolution is needed... I love where your style is going and definitely see a new edge to it. EAT? Edgy Arty Tailored?

Suz

(website)

Veteran

LOL, Una! I LOVE it: EAT. (Which is what I do most of the time anyway...)

Earlier this afternoon I wondered if it might be URT (urban, retro, tailored). But I like yours better, because the E can also stand for Euro-chic!!

You have a genius both for SEEING other people's styles and for naming those styles in an original way!

catgirl

Veteran

To be fair, it could also be ATE or TEA.

And you're the one with the style - it's like having a knack for naming works of art, as opposed to actually creating them.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

TEA...what I'm drinking!!

Tea might be better because I think I put the tailored first.

And thank you for the compliment!

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Shannon, I love your style and you do have one even if you can't/don't want to define it! To me, your style seems feminine, dressy, structured, retro, and a bit whimsical (like the fish pumps). I feel like my style kind of parallels yours in a way.

As for Steph's suggestion to look at the Team X Team Y challenges, I posted a challenge listing Angie's team challenges and adding a bunch of mine, here:
http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....-challenge
You may want to take a look at the questions!

stringy

Veteran

I was going to make the same suggestion as MrsEccentric - have a look at the Team lists and see if anything emerges from that.

Call it 'eclectic' rather than using a negative word, too, it might affect how you feel about it

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Suz, how about TRUE--tailored, retro, urban & edgy (or Euro)? It sounds better than URT!