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Question about purging

Scarlet

Veteran

Hi YLFers,

I have a question about wardrobe purging. Following the birth of my son, it took about a year and a half until I fit into the most tailored of my old clothing. Shortly thereafter (3 weeks??) I became pregnant again (currently 7 months, nearly 8) so there was very little time to wear my old things. I am trying to do a wardrobe purge at the moment to make more space for the new baby. Also I anticipate a big move soon. I feel conflicted about my old clothes. They have just been taking up space for so long. I am frustrated that I couldn't wear them for so long and anticipate it being a long time again until I could. Should I just let them go and start fresh when the time comes? I know I will miss some things, and it represents a lot of money over the years, but surely I will get over it, and when so much time goes by the cuts are never quite right anymore, are they? What would you do?

ETA: Most of the clothes in question are 6 years old or more.

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19 replies

Latest reply was from Janet

jenanded

Veteran

Lots of exciting times ahead... I would first ask how long you had them before.People often say 5 to 7 years before suits start looking dated so... Perhaps you could keep 1 or 2 of the best so that pqrt of the wardrobe is covered then purge the rest. I find it fairly easy to purge and don't really miss anything. I figure I only wear a relatively few things a lot in reality so that also helps my approach. Love to hear what you decide to do. X

Scarlet

Veteran

Jenanded, thanks for saying exciting and not exhausting Yes, maybe I should try to isolate the best of the best. Also, by tailored I don't mean so much suits as clothing cut close to the body. My ribcage, bust, hips, and tummy took some time to shrink, although I don't think most people would have guessed that depending on how I dressed. I avoided for example anything clingy over the tummy for a long time.

harmonica

Veteran

I hear you on this one! When I first started my style journey I had been through three periods of pregnancy/nursing/body changes/ life style changes. Times of changes can be very frustrating, but is also an opportunity for growth and finding a better (closet) place to be.

Questions to consider s a starting point of the process:

What is the main reason for purging?
Is it the space it occupies?
Do the clothes no longer fit, are they outdated or worn out?
Do they not fit your current and near future life style?
Can you afford building a new wardrobe when time comes?

You could get rid of all pieces that are worn out, outdated, don't have a happiness factor or fit a fantasy life style. Keep the clothes that make you happy, have good quality and longevity, as well as some sentimental pieces.

The clothes that can be passed over to others (Goodwill maybe?) are better off with someone who will wear them than being in a waiting zone for 1-2 years.

Do you feel like you have a consistent style now? That might be a guiding line.

Astrid

Veteran

Scarlet, great to see you post! And congratulations.

I think I'd be ruthless and keep only the best. That way you will have some of your favourite pieces to fall back on when the time comes to rebuild your wardrobe, but you will be able to choose the rest according to fashion and personal taste at that time. If the budget allows for that, of course.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Congratulations on your happy news! I would only keep things like jeans and current favorites. You cannot predict where your tastes and body will be by time you have time to think about fashion again!

Sara L.

Veteran

I would get rid of anything that's dated or worn or you just dont' think you'll wear again due to changing tastes. I would then pack up all the other stuff and get it out of your closet. When you start feeling like that stuff will fit again, you can pull it out and re-evaluate. I purge fairly often and don't usually regret anything, but I'm also a cautious purger and like to make sure I really won't want to wear that item ever again.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Congratulations, Scarlet! And nice to see you!

I would do what the others suggest. Keep a few of the more recent or very classic items and let go of most of the rest.

unfrumped

Veteran

Congratulations!
Mainly I would try to avoid a "frustration purge" just because that's not helpful long-term. Be rested, in a good place mentally (haha easy to say, kiddo may have other plans, but YKWIM). (see some blog posts on YLF'ers who have worked through the Marie Kondo book).
I have been at risk for tossing things out in frustration when instead I'm trying to develop discernment and more skill at routine wardrobe edits, because that will be an ongoing thing--for some it's for pregnancies, for others it's other body changes, career changes, move to new climate. So it's not how many things you get rid of--you could toss them all and that's okay--but see if you can use criteria that will work for you and that you feel good about.
Do the "joy" or happiness test. Is there any type of item that has worked for you time and again --maybe transcend trends--and keep any of those you like. Also things that tend to work when you are 5-10 # this way or that--if it's a classic good quality item, say. ."Best of the bunch" is a great guiding principle, too--nothing ratty or faded. Use bright light! Don't keep things that make you feel guilty.

Overall, it is likely that only a few things will make the cut, and even those might not work when you get back to them, but you will have honed your wardrobe-maintenance skills and that can help with your ongoing new purchases over the coming months and years.

Thistle

Veteran

I have been on the same rollar coaster as you're on I just had my second baby a few months ago, and we are now done family planning. However, we started this journey back in 2010.

I packed it all up and decided I would go through it when we were done. I have purged anything that looks worn, or feels dated (being packed away for 5 years means everything is at least 5 years old!) Some of it still doesn't fit, so I put it back away. So hard to judge if I'll wear it again or not if it doesn't fit. If it doesn;t fit this time next year, it's all gone.

If you have no place to store it, I say let it go. From experience, only about 10% of what I packed away has come back out and into rotation. I either didn't like it, my tastes had changed, or it fit differently on a post-baby body.

Thistle

Veteran

Oh, and anything dry clean only and fussy liek that was purged as well. No time for that with 2 small children.

Alassë

Veteran

Nice to see you; congratulations! I'll chime in from the other side (similar pregnancy spacing), but just so you know my style tends toward classic.

It sounds like you are tired of clothes not fitting and in need of space. Those are valid frustrations, but not reasons for dumping your regular-size clothing. You need an out-of-sight storage system (getting rid of items that are worn out/don't spark joy wouldn't hurt, either).

I know it's annoying when you have perfectly good clothes that you haven't been able to wear for 1-2 years due to closer-fitting torso/not suitable for nursing/etc., and then right when your body is back, the cycle restarts. I would encourage you to get your clothes out of sight - you can't wear them for a while anyway - and wait the year and a half it will take after baby #2 to evaluate your clothes. You may be thrilled to fit into old favorites after a few years' break; at worst, you'll have something to wear while you shop for an updated wardrobe.

Inge

(website)

I echo Suz and others. And just wanted to say: big congratulations!!-)
It's wonderful to see you post, Scarlet!

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

Scarlet, I was thinking about you a few days ago. I was missing you on the forum. My heart is happy knowing you are fine and you have another baby on the way!

My solution is to pick 10 of your most-loved pieces and keep them. They would be either the most timeless, highest quality, or the most unusual (therefore making them timeless). Get rid of the rest. You deserve a brand new wardrobe after going through two pregnancies.

Scarlet

Veteran

Thank you for the warm welcome back, everybody. My "free" time has been severely limited in the last two years.

One problem is that I can only store things in my wardrobe in our small apartment because our storage space is so limited. If I had an attic or something I would probably just get the stuff out of sight and deal with it later on.

It's hard because most the clothes are really nice things, and things I loved at one time, although it's impossible to say how I will feel about them in a year or two. Also I am concerned that in a year or two I will be living on a tighter budget and I am not sure what kind of a job I will have.

I am thinking however to go through the things again with a more ruthless hand. Maybe if I get some more time on the forum I can ask about particular items or put them on the exchange.

Unfrumped, "frustration purge" is exactly what I am afraid of doing. Well put.

Thistle and Alassë, it's great to hear from people who have been through the same thing. I have to say that I am so very rotund right now that holding up my old things is like looking at doll clothes, where I ask myself, "Did this ever really fit?"

CocoLion, interesting strategy--I could choose a number or a set amount of space as a limit. That might help clarify my feelings about the clothes. I tend to think no matter my budget at the time, after all this time I will probably be happy to start mostly fresh.

harmonica

Veteran

I like CocoLion suggestion. You could also think in terms of capsules.

Glory

Veteran

Congrats! Honestly I would find it difficult to purge with your busy schedule. And it is fairly difficult to assess when things are not fitting quite right at the moment. Is it possible to put that task aside or do you need the space? If you must do it, I would weed out by seeing what still appeals to you from form and colour but not fit.

trekkiegirl

Veteran

Having been through two pregnancies as well, I would advise against keeping much, if you can afford to replace it later. In addition to the items potentially becoming outdated, the second pregnancy often alters the body more drastically than the first and you may find that nothing fits the same, thereby necessitating a complete wardrobe overhaul. Even if you end up at the same weight as you were pre-pregnancy things have a way of shifting lol
I think with your limited storage space, it would be best to keep a few key items and donate or consign the rest. Congrats and good luck!!

gradfashionista

(website)

Veteran

Congratulations! I agree with other comments about keeping the best. You could make a note of everything--brand, model and size--so that if you really missed something, you'd know what to look for on ebay or tradesy. I've read in some bio context that the body changes in a different way after the second pregnancy when compared to the first. More fat from the hips and thighs can be lost, and shifts slightly toward the midriff. I'm not sure how often this plays out, it's something to keep in mind.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

You've already received good advice, but I just wanted to say hello and congratulations! It's great to see you again.