I would like to ask a question here that may not come out right and may upset some people. Also, I'm not being flippant. Here goes:

From the many conversations here on YLF and post and comments on various blogs, I've gathered that plus-sized women want clothing manufacturers to make fashionable clothes in larger sizes. There seems to be a lot of anger and frustration involved. Frustration with the situation and anger at the manufacturers. To me, it seems like the women take their large size as a given and want the other party to change their behavior (make larger clothes). This is rather unproductive. Wouldn't it be more productive to change one's own behavior and figure out what made the woman fat to start with offending food or habit can be eliminated? (Please also see edit at the end of this post.)

I'm not saying this is easy, but it it doable. It takes an elimination diet to figure it out so there's a bit of work involved. It's not always the number of calories, sometimes (maybe often) it's the food. For example, wheat and wheat products for me. After a fasting day, I would normally see a 1/2 lb. drop on the scale the next day (baseline test). But if I eat a small piece of wheat bread or a bit of wheat pasta on an otherwise fasting day, the scale shows 1 to 1.5 lb gain the next day and it takes four to five days for it to go away fully. It also adds a 1/2" to my waist measurement for that length of time. (I did this several times just to confirm it wasn't a fluke, but after that I eliminated wheat from my diet). It may be the same way for others or it may be other foods that trigger this type of response in the body.

Anyway, this is not about judging or blaming or body-shaming. I'm wondering what it is that makes people expend energy on unproductive behaviors (trying to get the other party to change) instead of productive behaviors (changing self). Is it psychological? Societal? Multi-faceted? Is there a solution? (And should there be one?)

ETA: Yikes, this seems to be heading in the wrong direction, just as I feared. I didn't mean to imply plus-sized women should diet to lose weight. I used it as an example of changing one's own behavior. Other examples would be learning to sew own clothes or hiring a dressmaker to create what's missing in the marketplace. (I'm not sure I'm making this any better.)