What an incredible thread. So moving and deeply personal.
Both of my parents passed away when I was in my very early 20s.
Like you Janet, I had to make the decision to remove my mother from life support. That is a very difficult job to have. I agonized over it but felt it was the right decision for her, just not for me.
Since my parents have been gone for such a long time (I am 54) there are only a few mementos that I have of them. From my mother I really have nothing more than a few photos. I have taken one of them when she was in her mid twenties and framed it. It sits on my piano. I love seeing her dressed in a lovely frock, smiling.
From my father, I have several photos and somehow I have a love letter he wrote to my mother. How fabulous!
For some reason I have not other items. The only possible thing I could wish for is information. How did they meet? What were their parents like? Family keepsakes are the memories that are built in the day to day life. They are forgotten from generation to generation. If you have some stories and memories consider writing them down for future generations. If a small memento can be saved with the story of why it is sentimental, that would be wonderful.

This is a beautiful thread. I come from a tradition that believes in getting rid of a person's belongings shortly after they pass away. Donating clothes, furniture, books, etc. to charity, or people in need is seen as a great act of charity, a kind of good deed that will earn the deceased merit in the afterlife in the eye of creator. So by tackling this really huge, emotional issue, you are not doing it just for your sake, but for the your loved one, who passed away. It is a duty to be completed for those who remain in order to honor the soul of the person who passed. Maybe this way of thinking would give you some courage and strength to tackle the issue. I just wanted to put it out there as a different perspective.

I was gone for a little while and so am late to this thread, but I wanted to add that it is VERY difficult to let go of things when one hasn't fully worked through the emotional toll of losing the people. We moved into the house my DH grew up in, and it was filled with things when we moved in - the furniture, clothing in the closets, pots and pans - literally everything he had grown up with. I tried to make room for "us" in the house, but DH lost his mum when he was 16, and to be honest, I am still not sure he has fully dealt with it. He didn't want to get rid of or even move anything. He wanted to keep canned goods in a drawer because that's what his mum did.

I realized that it was holding us back and it was holding him back, and we started one room at a time. When we had children several years later, it was much easier to completely clear out a room, refinish the floor, paint the walls and make it "new". Periodically, I would suggest we "redecorate" a room, which was simply an excuse to get rid of stuff. But it helped to be creating something new in his mind instead of just getting rid of the old. It has been a long process.

I am sentimental about very specific items, but not in the grand scheme of most things. There is a very short list of things I want when my mum passes (my dad passed many years ago), and because we talk openly about things (and have made all the arrangements for when she dies), she knows what they are and has them set aside - along with all the important documents - in a locked box in the bank to which both she and I have a key.

But I had the advantage of working through a lot of my emotions and feelings about her passing when we made all the arrangements and when she put my name on all the relevant things to make sorting things easier when she dies. It was a difficult process for me to go through, and while I will be devastated when she dies, all the legal arrangements being done will make things easier. Losing a parent suddenly makes things much, MUCH more difficult to process - both emotionally and physically.

My only advice is not to rush. If you are unsure about anything, keep it a while longer. If you haven't thought about it in a year, then pass it on. But don't get gung-ho about purging and then regret letting something go.

I have only skimmed all of this, and it may be too late, but taking a picture of things before you pass them on is a wonderful way to keep the memory but not the physical item.

I just wanted to pop back in and say thank you again to all of you. I have read and reread the responses, and it means a lot to see what you all have to say. Clearly, this is a challenge for many people. I feel like I've tackled another phase of the project, but it will continue. I'm going to chat with my oldest niece (who is in the area and can actually look at some of this stuff) about some of the things I'm holding on to, to see if she wants any of it. Not only is she "next in line" for these kinds of family mementos, but she's also a psychologist, so she knows what's going on from that perspective as well. And I suspect that looking through some of these things might be therapeutic and interesting for her as well. She was not able to be here for her grandmother's final days, or for the time when her mom and I cleaned out my childhood home, but I knew she has many memories there as well.