Hmm, I can see why you might be touchy about any suggestion of helicopter parenting. I agree that that's not exactly what's happening here. You're simply doing your best to help your daughter, who is struggling with the transition to adulthood, and it's perfectly reasonable for a parent to not want their child to suffer.
But therein lies the problem. She is no longer exactly a child. This is the transition to adulthood. The one where you do, at some point, actually have to let go of the reins. I don't know what's going to happen -- I don't know how your daughter will handle the upcoming months -- but just be aware that she might say all the things she knows you want to hear, and then privately ignore you. That might mean not going to the appointments you set up. It's part of the process of, er, taking the reins from your parents (to hammer that metaphor right into the ground). I'm giving this warning because I went through the exact same thing (only throw an eating disorder in there, too) and even though I said all the right things, because I wanted to give the appearance of being a "good girl", inside my head I rebelled. I did NOT want my parents' help. I couldn't quite figure out, at first, what I did want, but I clearly remember that parental involvement felt like unwanted interference.
I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer here. The opposite, in fact. What I'm trying to say is that this too will pass (even though you feel sick with worry at the moment!). I've had a successful, happy life. Friends who describe early adulthood struggles have had similar success. Anxiety is common and manageable. So just hang in there. Your daughter will figure it out. You obviously must do what you can, but with each passing month, you have less influence, and your influence will be tolerated less.
