Thanks. She did email her Calc prof & was told to keep doing what she's been doing. Well, what she's doing hasn't been working for this class. She talked to an advisor today, who told her that he thinks she may have test anxiety. He urged her to go to the test taking center, where they can talk to her and determine if she needs accommodations such as being given extra time to finish tests and being placed in a room by herself while taking tests so she's not distracted. He also advised her to retake the Chem class over the summer at the community college where the class size is a lot smaller. Lastly, he chose some less challenging classes for her next semester - classes that are still required for her Animal Science major but not overly demanding. As for Calc, it's not required for her major, so she might drop it. It all depends on how it would affect her scholarship. My DH & I are supportive of these suggestions, but we still want to get her in to our Doctor.

I am ad that she has a plan ! And good for you for having her follow up with a doctor. I will keep her in my prayers.

Thankfully, she wants to see our doctor, so I'm not having to coerce her in any way.

I'm sorry you have to wait for an appointment. It's maddening when you need to take the necessary first step and find out if there are any physical causes. I know I'm repeating but please take very good care of yourself and schedule some treats for you.

On the topic of Calculus - it's a subject that demands a very high level of abstract thinking which people don't usually develop until around 18-19. So it's possible your daughter's brain hasn't finished maturing yet and that's part (not all, of course) of the problem with that subject.

Thanks, Elle. My DD will turn 18 in Feb., so maybe taking Calc again next summer is the best option.

I wish we could get in to see the doctor sooner, though! This is the most frustrating part of this whole ordeal.

Just saw this. Praying you get answers soon. You are doing all you can right now, hang in there.

BC, I have been praying everyday for her - just realised I had forgotten to tell you. I do hope you'll get to the bottom of it soon

Thank you. I can feel the great vibes coming from you all, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Our appointment is coming up this week, thank the good Lord. I hope we can get some answers rather quickly, as it's been stressful not knowing exactly what's going on. Once we know what we're dealing with, we should be able to develop strategies to cope.

I can image that must be nerve wracking. I am another ADHDer (female) who was diagnosed in my mid-30's. High drive and intelligence got me a lot of coping skills over the years, but I do so wish I could have had some support and understanding. It is very confusing to feel like you're smart and capable but then to keep failing or repeating behavior (like procrastination, which is what I'm doing right now) that you know isn't in line with your personality. I think this is what gave me anxiety and depression (also undiagnosed). I went on a very low dose of anti-depressants that helped get me out of a hole, but since I was pregnant when diagnosed with ADHD I've never tried medication for it. I have family who are also ADHD (runs in families), and for some of them medication is what allows them to live productive lives. In a way, I'm proud that I developed coping mechanisms, but now I'm working on not becoming overwhelmed with anxiety when I need to use them.

You sound so much like my DD, Jenava. I really hope she gets the right kind of help, and that it won't be too complicated. My head spins just thinking about it.

You are definitely in my prayers. You've gotten a lot of great advice here. I'm glad you are following through with Dr. visits and are very supportive of your daughter. As a teacher, I know first hand how overwhelming all the homework/tests/requirements are for our students. Not only have I seen 2nd graders having meltdowns over test anxiety, but with all the increased pressure from the state, the teachers are having meltdowns too. Things need to change.

Sounds like you're on the right road towards getting your daughter the help she needs.

Sounds like a tough situation. I understand. My daughter has very high anxiety and a quirky neurological profile -- not ADHD but similar symptoms. It's hard watching them suffer without knowing what is going on. She is lucky to be able to confide in you and it's a credit to your good parenting that she sought you out for help. Hang in there. It will get better and she'll learn coping strategies, whatever the cause.

Thanks, everyone. I'll give an update after we see our doctor.

The transition from high school to college is extremely difficult and challenging. My DD is a math major with a physics minor. She started college with 18 credits from taking hs AP courses and while hs teachers like to tell you that AP courses are comparable to college courses my DD says they are not. DD started as a secondary ed/math major and quickly realized by the end of her first semester that teaching is not for her.

Once high school is over, many kids are expected to move away from home and start the journey to make new friends again, while doing laundry, taking care if a dorm room or apartment, going to classes, and trying to avoid the college pressures of drinking ( which despite what colleges tell you us extremely prevalent).

My DD lived with a Community Assistant (a CA is responsible for a wing if the dorm including counselling kids within his/ her capacity) for a dorm for 2 years. In that time my DD saw how difficult it was for many kids to make the transition. They are feeling stresses they have never experienced before, like homesickness, difficult classes, etc. There are kids in campus who have therapy pets who help them deal with stress (one girl even had a therapy iguana). CA even help kids who are having a hard time meet other people who basically take them under their wing, go to meals with them, check on how they are doing in classes and help them get the help they need.

As a mother, I fully understand and can empathize with what you are going through. Your DD is so lucky to have you and that she feels comfortable to confide in you. With your suport she will get through this hurdle. But in a way it is good for her to go through things like this so she learns how to deal with life's stresses. My DD is graduating this Dec after 3 1/2 years. Her stresses now arefinding a job and the possibility if moving away into her own place. She is freaking out, but all I am doing is steering her in the direction she needs to take. She has gone to career seminars and workshops and is feeling more confident.

Again, thinking of you and your DD and know that everything will be just fine.

I agree that learning to deal with life's stresses is part of growing up. What's bothering her most, I think, is that the AP classes didn't prepare her for college as well as they should have. She lives at home with us, as do my two older DDs who are about to graduate. The two older ones are hunting for jobs, but they have matured a lot during their college years and have a lot of advice to give her. What we've all been trying to do is back off and only give advice when she asks for it.

One issue with her is time management. For example, her room is a complete mess. Yesterday she told her older sister that she needs to find things to do in her down time so that she doesn't feel like she's wasting time. Her sister asked her about cleaning her room, to which she said that's a great idea. Obvious things like this just don't naturally occur to her I guess. At any rate, here's hoping she'll clean her room!

Please tell your DD not to feel bad that AP classes did not prepare her fully for college. They never are. A lot of top colleges don't allow AP credits for college credits. As someone who was a college professor, I think there are a lot of benefit to retake calculus in college even for those who aced the AP Calculus in high school. They are simply not at the same level.

My DH is a college professor, and he told her not to sign up for the more advanced calc class, but she didn't listen to him. He said the same thing about the chem class she ended up dropping. But Dad doesn't know anything, lol. It was a hard lesson for her to learn.

Update: Our Doctor says it's anxiety and depression. As bad as this is, I'm glad we got help. I have to go pick up some Rx anxiety medicine at the pharmacy, and my DD has been given the names of several counsellors. I'll need to call & verify that they take our insurance before making the first appointment. My DD also has a follow-up appointment with our Doctor..

Anyone familiar with Paxil? That's what our Doctor has prescribed.

I have no personal knowledge of this drug, but do not like what I have read. I just don't like when doctors are quick to prescribe such medications. I can understand people who need medication after all other treatments fail, but it seems that your DD's problems have been short term and so why resort to drugs. There are other anti anxiety meds imo that might be better to use short term.

Happy that your DD will get help dealing with her issues and hope everything gets resolved soon.

She did have an issue 2 years ago that involved counseling but no drugs.

Please continue to pray. It's taking just about as long to get in to see a psychologist as it did to see our family doctor. At least we have excellent insurance coverage and can get her the help she needs without having to pay much, if anything, out of pocket.

Wishing you well--and wanted to share from personal experience that, although some may feel like medication should be a last resort, depending on the individual, sometimes it is necessary to be able to BEGIN to engage and develop the necessary coping skills to handle anxiety or depression. I have shared the example with a patient that-if someone is a smoker develops respiratory distress, yes-we need to work on other habits and get the unhealthy behavior stopped, but we shouldn't hold off on providing oxygen and treating the immediate distress with medications. Folks in distress sometimes need a liferaft before we can teach them to swim. Sometimes in the midst of anxiety and depression, people can't engage because they are overwhelmed-- adjusting their chemistry so that attention can be paid to therapy and the development of new skills and perspectives. Good luck and take care.

Thanks. I trust our family doctor 100% when it comes to meds. She simply doesn't prescribe stuff unless it's necessary; and some meds only for a very short period of time.

As a parent, it's been difficult to know where to start. Sometimes loving someone with all your being isn't enough. My DD needs professional help, and the best thing I can do is make sure she gets it. I'm at a loss about how to talk to her about all this, other than to offer my unconditional love and support. It's just so hard to see her struggle like this.

Hope you get in soon. Had a thought, since I'm a career patient: One of the nice things a mom can do is know more about your meds than you do, look out for side effects for the person - because you can't see yourself. I was given by-the-book propylthiouracil for thyroid and it poisoned my liver. It was my mom who noticed my eyes had yellowed. Your dd will need liver tests + regularly. If you can track all that for her, that's huge... Lol, my mom has since fallen down on this stuff. She now regularly attempts to kill me with avocado.

Re. talking *about* her state of health... One thing I know, it doesn't work to say 'how are you?' or do the sort of analysis, daily life post mortems, one does with girlfriends. My dad would creep me out / frustrate me by asking me how I felt in this supremely amorphous way. There's just no where to go with that. 'Do you feel sick/tired/etc?' is much better. Otherwise, assume I feel like crap and don't be creepy by wanting to feel that too.... Yeah, keep on the watch, no giving of bright ideas, and no 'let's wrap it up and explain it' talks are my take aways... Oh and let the person think about other things; there are other subjects in the world... Anyways, just what I've found hard to take, you know?

Thanks for offering your perspective, Rachylou. I don't see my girls that often, as they are out of the house at school, work, or some activity (gym, etc.). When I do see them, usually at night, I ask them how their day went. I hope that's not bad to ask of someone who is battling anxiety and depression. If it is, then I need to rephrase it somehow.

Our custodian, who is usually very friendly, was here working in the office this morning; and when I asked her how she was doing, she said she wasn't doing well at all. I didn't quite know how to respond, except to say that I hope she gets to feeling better soon. You never know what someone else is going through, and I hate to make anyone feel bad. It's just that whenever anyone asks me how I'm doing, I always say fine even if I'm having some problems. To me, it's just a standard greeting and response type thing. I don't know our custodian well enough to ask her the details, and she might not appreciate it if I did. I just sort of hope that showing concern without probing is enough to let her know someone cares how she is.

Yeah, 'how are you?' is an acknowledged strange greeting. I remember discussing it in one of my human communications classes at school. I personally use 'what's happening?' or 'anything interesting happen today?' Like the French 'ca va?' I find it easier for recipients to deal with, lol.

I will take that to heart and start using your suggested greetings, Rachylou! You have helped me immensely.

BTW, I found out this afternoon (from one of our other custodians that I know quite well) that our custodian lost a family member - died of breast cancer. I am going to pray for her and her family, as I was told that the diseased didn't tell anyone she had breast cancer and her death was not expected.

Oh, I will say a prayer for her as well. I'm sure everyone is at such a loss.

You never know what battles another person is fighting or what trials he/she is going through.