Thanks, I am pleased to know I am not imagining that this is pushing of boundaries. I grew up with dogs, working farm dogs,but I have lived with dogs in other situations too. I like dogs and we have considered getting one, but have held off for a few reasons.
My friend is also a relation and a lovely person, but quite unconventional and always looks at things from her perspective. From her side it would be nicer to always bring her dog along, because she worries the dog will be lonely at home. She loves him dearly and he goes to work with her (she is self employed). Her sons also love him - he is well treated.
I do not mind dogs in the home, but I am not keen on them jumping all over my furniture. But one of our cats (the one that has been sick) spends all her time inside at the moment and is very scared of dogs (and not wild about new human visitors either). My other friends in general don't bring their dogs inside, and have never asked. It is a warm climate here, we have a large enough yard with a covered deck - I love walking with my friends and their dogs. Many dogs sleep in their bed or portable kennel outside. Our cats are free to sleep inside or outside and do a mix of the two depending on the weather.
My friend just always tries to bring the dog in - and I have relented on occasion, but on Monday when she was collecting something I said that our cat was scared, and it was her home. She said her dog was more scared of the cat, and wouldn't cause any problems and brought him anyway. I just wondered if I was over reacting a little and knew there was lots of dog owners on the forum here who could give me some guidance.
I can imagine people can have similar feelings when disruptive children visit who jump on their furniture, or who terrify their animals. And these situations can be similar too. And you can't ask people to leave their children outside on the deck or at home alone!!