people noticing - YouLookFab Forum

Category

General

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

people noticing

Adelfa

Veteran

I basically wear two types of lipstick colors: a brownish pink (for warm weather) and a brownish burgundy (for cooler weather). Today to celebrate Fall I applied my lovely figgy Clinique Chubby Stick. It was not new, but I hadn't worn it for a while.

My boss came into my office and did a double take! "Did you change your makeup?" she said in shocked tones. I told her it was the lipstick and she said it looked nice. After she left I rubbed the lipstick off as I was uncomfortable with the attention.

Come to think of it, something similar happened when I changed my blush for Spring and a coworker went on and on about the change. "You don't usually wear such peachy tones, do you?" she said.

I don't want people to notice! I want them to act like I'm just the same as ever! I don't think I ever act shocked when people change their makeup or anything else they're wearing.

What about you? How do you feel about attention given to wardrobe, hair, or makeup changes? Do you wish it would go away or do you enjoy it?

General

19 replies

Latest reply was from bostonsmama

Deb

Veteran

I like it when people are observant and would feel a bit deflated if I made a change that nobody noticed. Enjoy the compliments......they are meant to feed you not make you feel bad.

Lavinia

For me, it depends how I confident I am about the change. If I am not confident enough or feel just a tad self-conscious, I know I would feel just as you did. If I am very confident in my change, then I would take such attention as a compliment.
However, I do have a problem with people who will point out a flaw - e.g. I usually don't have zits but when I get one, certain people will surely point it out.
Also, as I am prone to cold sores, I HATE it when people comment on it.

Gigi

Veteran

When I first started paying attention to my wardrobe, I would get pretty uncomfortable about extra attention. One of my first "just for fun" purchases was a pair of 3.25" heeled leopard print booties, which is nothing I would ever have worn before YLF. I wore these booties to an appointment I had, and the woman I was meeting was astonished (we had met many times before, so she was accustomed to my usual dress, which was still pretty conservative). I could tell she was absolutely shocked, and I felt pretty embarrassed. It was really hard for me to wear my booties after that.

But I kept pushing myself to try new things...pushing the envelope more and more out of my comfort zone...and would you know it, now that fall is coming around and booties are appropriate for the weather again (the incident with the booties happened a year ago), I am more than happy to reach for the leopard booties! It truly doesn't bother me now that I get attention. I realize that it's just because it's not something that people see every day.

My guess is that if your boss explicitly asked you if you had changed your makeup, she was very pleased with the change and truly thought it was good. If I were to run into someone who looked horrible because she had changed her makeup, I would just remain silent about it. Is your boss' personality outgoing? That might explain why she was so vocal about it. Maybe you could keep changing things up in your dress and makeup and hair so that being noticed is no longer uncomfortable but just normal? Sometimes it's just the fact that it's not something we're used to that causes the discomfort. I'll bet you looked fab.

Sal

Veteran

I do know the feeling Adelfa. It can be uncomfortable but I would take it as a compliment, after all she did say you looked nice. I have decided to take anything that could possibly be a compliment as one for my own peace of mind!

Gigi - that is great that you have grown in confidence to wear what you like. Enjoy your leopard print booties, I am sure they look wonderful. It is fun to sometimes wear something a little bit unexpected.

Alexandra

(website)

Veteran

I take it as a compliment and say thank you.

fuzzylogic

Veteran

Hi Adelfa! I would definitely take that as a compliment! And wear that chubby stick again- it obviously suits you!

meibaola

Are you kidding me? Of course I enjoy it! If a change goes unnoticed, I actually urge people to give me feedback B-/

Two examples occurred at work this week:

"Have you noticed I've colored my hair? Isn't it a beautiful shade of dark brown?" "It looks like the same color you always do..." "It's impossible, it's a NEW color, it has just been invented by L'Oréal and it's much more beautiful!!!"

"Have you noticed I've matched my nail polish to my scarf?" "Now that you tell me, that's very pretty!" "And my toe nail polish to my top?" "It's a different color." "My toes are khaki and my top is mud, they're in the same color family, can't you see???"

unfrumped

Veteran

I usually prefer for a comment to be a straight- up compliment than someone going on about change, as that's what I I try to say about other people" you look so nice" -- but we don't control that! And some aspects of makeup for me aren't really supposed to be noticed- like blush- but maybe that's a fantasy.
Haircut comments are common and don't mind attention there.
I agree about just roll with it.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I agree with fuzzylogic, and I feel the same way as unfrumped. But I generally accept these kinds of remarks as compliments.

I can't remember the last time anyone remarked on my makeup, except for maybe here. But I keep my lip color pretty low-key. Right after I started using a new bronzer, my husband told me my skin looked really nice, which is what I'm really going for!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I would feel uncomfortable with that type of comment, too. Like Janet and unfrumped, I'd be fine with it if someone said, "You look great today! Did you change something up or are you just especially rested?" (Or similar). But to have someone comment directly on my makeup would feel really, really weird. I guess because I keep my makeup extremely low-key as a rule.

I don't mind if someone comments on a new article of clothing. Or even on my hair. Makeup feels more...personal.

Anonymous

I'm with Suz on this one. I feel the only people that should make comments on appearance (especially makeup) are your really close friends. It's just too personal , and inappropriate for the workplace, especially from a superior. My close friends and I will comment favourably if someone has a lipstick on that we all love, but that's about it.

Gigi - I can totally relate to your boot experience and feeling totally self conscious all day as a result. We've all been there - and I hate those days myself. Confidence shattering for sure.

Interesing topic!

shiny

Veteran

Real conversation a few months back with my hairdresser:

"Um, what's going on with your lipstick today?"
"It's supposed to be a nude shade. I was feeling it lately, since my highlights have toned down so much."
"Um... no. This shade doesn't flatter you at all. It's washing you out. It's too orange."
"You think?"
"YES!! Now where is that bright fuchsia lipstick you were wearing at your last appointment? I much prefer that. Brightens up your whole face. Do you have it in your bag? Go check. Put that on. Now. That's it. I like it better. See? Isn't that better?"

She can get away with it because she's my hairdresser.

As for coworkers noticing stuff, I work with a lot of extroverted, social women and we are all always going on about this or that, complimenting each other's shoes and tops and bags and etc.

Is it possible your boss was worried you had changed your makeup because you were interviewing on the sly? Was the makeup change the equivalent of wearing an interview suit to work? Just a thought, because if I had a valued employee that usually wore little to no makeup or subtle makeup and then showed up one day with a major difference (full face paint), I might worry just that. Especially because every time I've decided to look for a new job, I deliberately hit the MAC counter and get a makeover.

Adelfa

Veteran

No time to respond individually but I appreciate your responses so much! My reaction gives me a clue to where I am style-wise. When I first started ylf I got a lot of attention, not all of it 100% positive. But I was thrilled with what was happening and I didn't mind at all.

Now I'm in a period where my style is less experimental, and I've gotten back to feeling more like I want to fly under the radar. And no, I wasn't completely confident when I put the lipstick on! I thought it looked good, but I'm never sure others will agree when I wear a darker lipstick. And makeup does feel more personal to me after a lifetime of skin problems.

Thanks for the wise and therapeutic answers!

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

She probably simply wanted to say something nice to you and that was what she noticed because it was a little different and she felt it looked good. I say put your lipstick back on and smile knowing it looks great!

Marlene

Veteran

I think in general, people are a little jarred when someone they see regularly makes a visual change. Some are vocal about it...some remain silent. When I get those comments that I'm not sure about (Was that a compliment? Or not? WHAT WAS THAT????) then I will usually respond with something like "Yep! Time to make the seasonal switch-up now that it's fall" Or whatever my strategy was. That seems to put the burden of the comment back on them.

N-Marie

Veteran

Yes, I'm not a fan of people noticing my makeup, mostly because I try to make my makeup look as natural as possible. So if someone notices it, I feel like I've overdone it.
I would also feel the same way if someone made a comment on an item that was a "wildcard" for me- something new that is outside my comfort zone, one that I'm still trying to figure out how to style. But that's just my personality- I'm not very keen on standing out, honestly.
It's actually a really interesting question, because at this point in my own style evolution (which went along the lines of "clueless about what is flattering" to "approaching an understanding of how to flatter my shape and dress in a classic fashion"), I'm now thinking about how to push the edge of the envelope a bit, and that means adopting styles that are a bit ahead of the mainstream, or that are quirky enough to garner attention. Not sure I've figured how to resolve the contradiction between wanting to look stylish but not wanting to stand out too much.

Peri

Veteran

I'm sure the comments could have been phrased better but I would take them as compliments. And I would wonder, if people are so aware of what I "usually" do that they are surprised by change, if maybe I was in a rut. Like if I change so seldom that it is an event, maybe I was overdue for a change?

rabbit

Veteran

I'm kind of a split personality on this. On the one hand, I'm not sure how I'd feel about someone commenting on the details of my makeup as it's usually supposed to be subtle (and it's my face), but if it was a friend and I was doing a bold lip, I'd take it as a compliment.

On the other hand, post YLF I fairly often get comments from strangers complimenting a bolder item of clothing, and not just people I'm interacting with, but someone walking by me on the street or in a parking lot or grocery store, so I'm not blending into the background so much at times and I'm okay with that. A big part of my choices are about having fun, so I enjoy that other people have fun with them too.

bostonsmama

Lipstick is such a hard one. I hate wearing color on the lips, but I'm getting to that age where it prevents the pallor if death from postpartum sleepless nights from showing through. Sometimes comments like that (when not followed by "and I like it on you!") Are straight up intimidation by your style. Other times it's a veiled compliment, but that seems strange. I say do it again! Wear it attention and all!