I thought all my life that I would gray naturally. But now I'm not. Part of the problem, to me, is that I'm graying very slowly, and I don't think the occasional dead white hair against a dark brown base looks very good. Another factor is that I always thought some subtle lighter brown highlights would be less severe against aging skin than plain dark brown. So I do color. But it *is* time consuming and expensive!

There IS a big bias against anyone over 50 in high tech - men and women pretty darn equally (well, not that there are many women). So... There are reasons for sure to colour, besides fashion.

My grandmother had beautiful silver hair, and I remember my mother saying how pretty it was. I vowed then that I would never dye my hair. When a stranger thought I was 20 years older than I was, and the same weekend I saw a photo of me and a photo of someone around my age who had color in their hair, I started having heavy down-lights that colored my hair to my original color. I styled it so that I only needed it done about 4X a year. When my hairdresser said it wouldn't work to continue doing it I stopped going to her and let it grow out. I just trimmed the ends myself. I wish I had gotten the advise that's out there now. After years I've grown it out but it isn't the color I expected/hoped for. I'm torn between coloring it again/getting advise about how to help it look better/getting a different cut. On the one hand I don't spend want to spend the time/money and I'm afraid I won't like the color-I want my dark brown but I don't want a red tint/cast to it. On the other hand I do feel better with color. I just can't imagine growing it out again. My hair grows very slowly.

Viva, your reasoning makes perfect sense. Multi-toned high/low-lights seem the best way to go for your particular hair. I know exactly what you mean about the colouring process giving structure, volume and, of course, more interest to fine hair. Mine is very similar, and although I have let my silvery-grey come through, I sometimes cheat by adding highlights during the winter months just to give the colour a little more impact.
Greying v. not greying is a very subjective and individual decision to make, and there should not be any pressure either way.

Such a personal decision. I agree with your thoughts Viva, and also Rachylou about a bias in high-tech re:older workers. I wish I had the guts to not care about what others think, but I do. I have very dark hair, and the coloring upkeep is time-consuming and expensive. But I have been told I have a young face at 50 and I am pretty sure going grey would negate that. I LOVE Una's hair, but she has an edgy style and can carry it off. I am more classic and even a bit boho at times, so I risk looking matronly or even like an aging hippy. Nothing wrong with either, but not my style goals

Finally, I think it's a bit disingenuous to say we shouldn't care what others think. Most of us wouldn't be posting pictures on a style site if we weren't looking for validation. My humble .02.

Lots of great comments since I last posted!

I have some not-related to $/time/roots reasons for wanting to try going grey now (mid-40s/20+years of dye/~ 40%).

One is that I'm *not* a hair color "experimenter" and so I've always been a brunette. The idea of *not* being a brunette feels really weird, so I want to ease into it while I still have dark in the mix. [I should say I'm easily confused when actors have different hair colors film to film, ha.]

Another is that I've been told "oh you look too young to let the grey show" and because I *felt* really decrepit with health problems, I didn't want another signifier of old. Now that my health is much improved, I'm ready to have the contrast of "older-signal" hair with somewhat "'younger'" face.

It helps that there's a cultural shift underway for grey on all ages, for sure. [Edit -- And I DO think this will impact the workplace ageism.]

Which actually kind of begs the question -- because of all the hair coloring, what age DO people [general] think is appropriate/average for grey/silver/white? Seventy vs 50? I wonder.

And agree with the comment upthread that to most truly young people (under 25) there's pretty much just "old" and "really old" hahaha. They aren't much for nuances that hair coloring provides.

I have so many thoughts on this not sure I even want to write them.
such PCness in all aspects of life nowadays

I'm sorry you don't feel you can share, Chadya. I wish you would but I understand. However, a lot of different feelings and a wide variety of opinions have been shared on this thread. Clearly this is not simple issue.

I am with you, viva, and pretty much for the same reason. Working in HR, I am often recruiting much younger candidates. While looking "experienced" is good, I also want to look relevant.

I actually love gray/silver/white hair. If I were 20 years younger, I would be tempted to dye my hair gray as I think it would look awesome with my wardrobe! But I have no doubt that gray hair would make me look older than my 53 years and I'm not ready for that.

But I do think I will want to go natural at some point (I don't necessarily want to still be a blonde when I am 80.) For several months, I've been wanting my hair color to be more ash toned, hoping that the grays can work more as highlights. And, just last night, I finally got the color I've been wanting! The golden blonde tones are gone and I have deeper, cooler, more ashy tones and I am thrilled with the result.

I wish I didn't have to spend the time and money the upkeep will require but I am willing to do so. I do my own nails so I figure that's keeping my overall "grooming" costs down!