No more dressy shoes - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Shopping

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

No more dressy shoes

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Ugh, I'm looking through my closet and realizing how little I wear pumps or anything dressy. I've sold or donated a couple of pairs last year, and I'm thinking of selling some more. I think I got caught in a transitional time a few years ago and bought for an imaginary lifestyle. Don't let me buy any more dressy shoes!

Shopping

39 replies

Latest reply was from Penny

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I am right there with you, Janet. I probably wear heels once a month - and I own 6 pairs! Even with flats, I find that I wear the more casually styled ones a lot more often than the ballet flats that are pump-style.

Alassë

Veteran

Well, it's a good realization and I'm glad you're able to sell shoes. How many do you have, and how many would be right for your lifestyle?

viva

Veteran

Um. Yes. In addition to the black DJP pumps I have now decided to keep, I have heeled red sandals that I bought this summer. And wore exactly once. Now, I suppose I could wear them with jeans ... if I were Sarah Jessica Parker from Sex and the City. Or Sofia Vergara on Modern Family.

AArrgh!!!!! No more of these shoe purchases!!!!!

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Another quick thought: a few years ago (5-10?) the 'jeans with pumps' thing was very trendy, and I feel like that looks dated at the moment. My personal tolerance for uncomfortable shoes has also gone down noticeably.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Having just bought a pair that I probably won't wear very often, I am blushing with shame....

In my defence, I really only have one other pair. And one pair of dressy (unworn) boots....

unfrumped

Veteran

I may not collect the same kind of dressy shoes, but I do need to keep reminding self to avoid the imaginary lifestyle (IL) shoe. These go with the IL outfits I should also avoid or minimize.

viva

Veteran

Picture, Suz!!!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Good epiphany. I will keep my beady eye on you.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Laura, yes! I guess I thought a few years ago that I'd do the "jeans with dressier shoes" thing, but that's a) not so practical for me, and b) no longer very current.

I'm glad that it seems I'm not the only one to fall to the seduction of pretty but impractical shoes. Even the Okalas are not getting worn much, and I know others of you like Suz manage to dress them down.

I won't necessarily get rid of all of the ones I have, because i do like most of them and can envision wearing them -- just not as often as I thought when I bought them. Certainly not enough to justify any more purchases of that type.

These days I'm really feeling like slip-on sneakers, oxfords, loafers, and booties are how I will go into fall and winter. Pumps are way on the back burner.

unfrumped

Veteran

Oh, look out for Angie's beady eye! You're on notice.

I think it's fine to have a pair or 2 that actually work for dressy--as relates to viva's keep or toss post. Not even saying they have to be heels of any height--could be some kind of dressy flat or boot that does not work for everyday life.
A great reason for not having too many, I have finally figured out, is that things change--feet, taste, style, oufit partners--and I may need to buy "new" every so often, but only need one or so hanging around at any given time.

deb

Veteran

What do you consider dressy shoes?

Anonymous

Sigh. I'm still guilty of the mid-heel pumps with cropped or rolled jeans combo. I like it for going out. I guess it is kinda dated, isn't it? Crap. I like it and don't find flats sexy enough - not that I'm all about being sexy, but what if I were ??

Sal

Veteran

Yes me too!
I have two pairs of dressy sandals that I love in summer. I do own two pairs of black pumps that get worn a couple of times a year every year. Aside from this I now prefer a more modern or a more casual shoe.

Interesting I had not quite thought it through that jeans and pumps are not such a look any more. You are right of course, and in a way it is a juxtapositional look. Thanks Laura for pointing that out!

Anonymous

I like Deb's question because I don't think dressy is the problem, it's the dressy for your actual lifestyle that's not adjusted correctly. I envision you needing more edgy, unusual sexy dress up shoes, more like lace up suede boots or with fringe or something..

Someone who responded to Angie's question about not liking to dress up said they didn't like to because their hair, face etc. just didn't "go" with dressing up and I thought that was sad because..of course that's not true! It's just the wrong style of dress up!

Elly

Veteran

Ah--- I have one pair of heeled sandals that I wear to summer weddings and graduations and a pair of heeled oxfords that I wear to winter funerals and interviews-- everything else is a heeled chelsea boot. I really do need a closed-toe heeled pump.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Well, I suppose I should clarify. Yes, dressy for one person is everyday for another. Dressy for me is mostly pertaining to pumps. My Rockstuds are dressy (and if someone told me I had to get rid of all but one pair of dressy shoes in my closet, those are the ones that would stay).

Here are photos of the shoes I have that are "dressy" for me. Granted, some can be dressed down (the kitten heels, the blue wedges, the Okalas...), and some, like the two old pairs of sky-high black shoes in photo 3, are really impractical, only specific occasion shoes. In fact, I suspect the platform pair are now looking dated.

This post has 4 photos. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

Anonymous

I wear heeled sandals all summer long, almost every day, to run errands and go to work. But I returned a pair of closed toe pumps because they were too dressy.
It's a fine line.

ETA: What a lovely selection of dressy heels. Yes, I'd call them dressy.

Colette

Veteran

Well I missed the memo, pumps and jeans are out? I love this look.

So what are you supposed to wear, when you want to dress up your jeans, dressier booties?

deb

Veteran

The blue wedges would look cute with cropped pants or culottes. In fact all except those in #3 would look good and are on the pinboard I created for cropped pants.

https://www.pinterest.com/djm9/cropped-pants/

Anonymous

Shoot. Now I'm quite sure I need a pair of Rockstuds.

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

I keep not allowing myself to get the rockstuds, because I think they will have jumped the shark by the time I do. Yet they still look good to me, and they continue appearing in stores.

tulle

Veteran

But--and this is probably my uneasy conscience needing reassurance--don't you think that there are still a few occasions when only dressy shoes will do? For a summery party recently, I found that the chunky-heeled sandals I'd planned to wear just didn't look right with my delicate dress, and I was relieved to find a pair of pointy-toed heels in the back of my closet that seemed to strike a better balance. If I'd given those away . . . I'll admit that I very rarely wear heels, and never really mastered the rolled-jeans-&-pumps look anyway, but having a small collection of dressy options still feels reasonable.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Dressy for me IS the Okalas. That's all I have, plus one patent pump.

I don't really dress the Okalas down a lot, Janet. Usually when I wear them in a more casual situation it's just at home. I feel a bit weird in them dressed down out on the street. That has a lot to do with my streets which are very bumpy and rough -- I always worry about the narrow heels on the kinds of sidewalks I frequent.

For Viva, a pic of the new Okalas. I also have the pony hair.

Sam Edelman Women's Okala Dress Pump

View Info

Top Pick

9

Suz

(website)

Veteran

And P.S. Janet -- I LOVE your dressy shoes!!

Anonymous

Yay!! Me too!! And I am so happy with my decision. My feet thank. My back thanks me. My soul thanks me.

Just a note: I still have two pair (both black) in my wardrobe. I am keeping them for special dressy events that don't involve a lot of standing or walking. WHEN I find a suitable dressy replacement, they will both be donated. I am actively seeking replacements.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Tulle, I agree! That's why I keep the ones I keep. Those patent sandals in #1 are positively ancient but somehow don't look dated to me. I have an occasion about once a year when nothing else seems right but those shoes do. In fact, I wore them with flare jeans, my watercolor print Tahari silk tank, and my long black BCBG jacket to my art opening a couple of months ago. After five hours on my feet, they were killing me, but that's unusual that I would be standing that much in them.

Those tiger print kitten heels in #4 are actually really comfortable and they look nice peeking out of bootcut jeans. I'll make an effort to wear them this fall, for sure.

To be clear, I am not really planning to get rid of the shoes in the photos (unless you all see something that really looks like it needs to go ;-)), I'm just saying that they definitely take up some room in the closet and I'm not allowed to buy anything else that one of those pairs of shoes would suffice for.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

I made the same decision a few years ago Janet. I have a few pairs of sandals with heels that I wear with skirts and dresses to work in summer but wouldn't call them dressy since they are taupe/nude and have wood toned heels. I have one pair of black patent SW heels that I wear on NYE if we go out and to Tony's Xmas party. I paid a fair bit for them two or three years ago thinking they were timeless and now realize they don't look timeless to me and I have worn them 3-5 times max. *sigh*

Sal

Veteran

I love the collection but can see that you have a lot of bases covered, with no need for more. Better to put the money into the areas where you have a hole.

None look dated to me, in the most part dressy shoes are slower to date than casual ones. And I love the black patent sandals in pic 1, just a lovely elegant sandal.

viva

Veteran

Oh, Janet, what ARE those fabulous creatures in pic #3??? The first pair, with the chain sort of cross straps? Dying over here.... I would buy those. And have nowhere to wear them.

12