My Thoughts On Anna's Figure Flattery Thread - YouLookFab Forum

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My Thoughts On Anna's Figure Flattery Thread

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I couldn't comment because I was out of town, so I'm starting this thread so that you know where I strand on the subject. I have posted about this a few times, and these posts cover most of my thoughts:

http://youlookfab.com/2012/03/.....-tradeoff/

http://youlookfab.com/2010/08/.....lattering/

You need to dress in a way that is flattering TO YOU. You have to feel fab in your outfit, and that's the long and short of it. Identify your personal figure flattering priorities and adhere to them.

There is a tradeoff between wearing conventionally flattering outfits and wearing looks that are more fringe.

I think we ALL bat for Team Figure Flattery to a certain extent - otherwise we wouldn't be interested in fashion and style. Anna thinks her harem jeans are attractive (as do I) - otherwise she wouldn't wear them.

There is a HUGE difference between "less flattering" and "unflattering". I believe that stylish looks can be less than flattering - but they are still flattering (or flattering enough to be attractive). For example, I think my jodhpur jeans are less flattering, but still flattering. I would NOT wear them if I thought they were unflattering. I find too tight and too short clothes unflattering. Certain styles of cropped pants unflattering. Too much make-up unflattering. Unintentional sloppy fit unflattering.

Wearing conventionally flattering fits have nothing to do with attracting the opposite sex, or the same sex if you are gay. It's all about how YOU feel in your clothes. If you feel best in conventionally flattering fits - wear them! There is no need to look fringe, quirky, or more edgy just for the sake of it. Style must be authentic. I am not a quirky person. I would look and feel ridiculous in quirky outfits - although they suit others to the tee.

Wearing interesting outfits does not mean that you have to wear less flattering or unflattering outfits. You can totally where a conventionally flattering outfit and look interesting to my eye.

Last but not least - Figure Flattery is in the eye of the beholder. For example, I find surrendered waists, harem styles, dropped crotch points, slouch, baggy fits, extended (sharp) shoulders and low rises very flattering - when the details are right to my eye. I am not one to agonize about the shape of the back pockets on my jeans because they effect the shape of my bottom - because it's not a priority to me.

Okay! Back to having tea with my Papa. I'm scarce on the forum till mid next week.

Dressing

22 replies

Latest reply was from Angie

Anonymous

Brilliant Angie, thank you. Enjoy your Papa and we'll see you next week sometime.

Day Vies

Veteran

I agree that we are all on team figure flattery or else we would not be interested in fashion. Thanks for the post! Enjoy Papa.

Asingh

(website)

Veteran

Angie, I agree with you when you say that wearing interesting outfits does not mean that one has to wear less flattering or unflattering outfits, it simply means one can add interest by adding a piece (or focal point) that one feels comfortable in and can carry off with confidence. I am always partial to outfits that make me feel good when I'm wearing them.

deb

Veteran

Thank you for your thoughts. I agree that figure flattery has nothing to do with attracting the opposite sex.

unfrumped

Veteran

Great summary!

I also have started paying more attention to "overall package flattering" outfits. That the whole is greater than the sum of parts. So that "figure flattering" is the most narrow goal and I do aim for that (well, I am trying to learn more about where the target is, anyway!). And so in one sense every part of an outfit can be individually figure flattering but also there are some parts that are figure flattering if combined in some ways but not others.

So I've noticed that if I pay a bit more attention to how all of the items and proportions fit together, it allows for some more inventiveness and fun, because this overall "look" goes beyond whether an item is perfectly figure-flattering in a conventional sense--the color/pattern/texture/proportion create more style and interest than just what your body is about.

Deborah

Veteran

Angie I am so glad you chimed in here. Figure flattery is indeed in the eye of the beholder and I think it is really important that we remember that and respect others choices. And how boring would it be if we all wore the same thing. Diversity in fashion and style is a wonderful thing.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Brava!!!

Enjoy "Papa time".

Anonymous

Well said!

morethanbeige

Veteran

Thank you for this! I totally agree.

rachylou

Veteran

Mm. Well said, Angie.

The science that conventionally flattering outfits will get you more date requests is pretty darn conclusive. But this should not be taken to mean wearing conventionally flattering outfits means you're on the make or immodest, because it doesn't.

But you know, I wear my teddy bear on my head (the 'spirit hat'). I don't see how I can argue this is not a total distraction from my personal features...

Nicole D

Veteran

I agree with you that the flattering factor of an outfit depends on one's individual taste and goals. But...I think I am at a stage in my style evolution where I need some "rules" and guidelines to try to adhere to, and when I do I tend to be a bit more successful in achieving a comfortable look for myself.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

I've just been thinking about this quote from Sartre:

there is such a truth which is simple, easily attained and within the reach of everybody; it consists in one’s immediate sense of one’s self.

Seems to apply. (-:

His companion, Simone de Beauvoir had some interesting thoughts on feminism which I think are also applicable, although controversial.

ironkurtin

Veteran

I agree with you, Angie. Thanks!

Gaylene

Veteran

OK, at the risk of being slapped on the hand, I'm going to ask a question that I've always wondered about on this forum. Just exactly how can someone respond in a meaningful way when a forum member posts a K/R thread?

And, Angie, your statement "There is a HUGE difference between 'less flattering' and 'unflattering'." has really muddied these waters for me. You give examples of things that you personally find unflattering, but, as you've pointed out before, others in the fashion world do not necessarily hold the same aesthetic perceptions. So where are the benchmarks that we can use as our standards for saying to someone "this is less flattering but OK", while telling another person "that is unflattering and NOT OK". If even fashion experts can't agree on a basic benchmark of what is "flattering", how does the average person discern DEGREES of flattery?

What does make sense to me is your statement that "it's all about how YOU feel in your clothes.". If a person likes what's reflected back in the mirror or camera, and the outfit makes him or her feel confident and happy, then it's flattering, at least according to that person's standards--and, ultimately, maybe that's the only definition of "flattering" with which we can work?

So, if I comment on a K/R, should it be "how do YOU feel in this item?" Anything else would just be a variation of "I, personally would (or wouldn't) choose to wear that"--which really seems to be quite a meaningless statement to someone who wouldn't know me on if they passed me by on the street.

ironkurtin

Veteran

Just a side note - I personally am livid whenever anyone assumes that I dress to attract men. I don't. I totally follow Angie's guidelines on how the item makes me feel.

Gaylene, I agree that asking how someone feels in an item is important. However, details I may or may not see may affect how I feel in that item. That to me is what a K/R is. The person is wondering how to feel in the item.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Unfrumped, I like the way you said that - the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Style IS a package deal.

High five, Dana!

Rachy, I'm not arguing with you about the teddy hat :). And of course reseach will show those results! Conventionally flattering outfits are just that for very good reason.

Gaylene, I think that you might be trying to apply an exact set of scientific principles to what is a very inexact science. Style is art. Very sbjective art :). There is a subjective benchmark at best. And a K/R post can be very helpful to those who are after a series of opinions on an item - either because they are unsure, or because they are interested in the reaction that the item will provoke. It is up to them to filter the comments and take the ones to heart that they hold in high regard. With this in mind, it really doesn't matter whether the person giving the feedback can discern between flattering or unflattering. It's an opinion - and what counts is how the reciever of the feedback chooses to process the information.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I think Angie has said it extremely well and I agree with what she has said wholeheartedly. I understand your point Gaylene, but I think when posting a K/R the original poster is often trying to validate their own opinion or identify something that is bothering them. I find that when people articulate a feeling I already have I readily agree and also the reverse.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Testify! Outfits as art FTW. I love that figure flattery is so subjective and that everyone has a different idea of what is flattering. I think that part of what an outfit says to the world is that you find it flattering in some way.

In response to Gaylene, in my experience, every honest opinion is useful in a K/R post. The poster may ultimately go against the tide of the forum responses, but it is still useful to weigh the outside opinions against internal feelings about the item.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Angie, I really like what you said about needing to ensure the outfit feels right to you. A lot of times, for me, it literally comes down to that -- some FEELING -- rather than the look of it, per se...although of course the look of it does probably influence how I feel. Not sure if that makes any sense. I know it would to Michelle, because she has to go on feeling most of all. And look how often she gets it dead right. She knows her own style and can tell by a description and the feel of the combination of items on her body whether she is in her style ballpark. That is remarkable.

Sometimes I think that if each of us honed in on that felt sense more often, we really would see the triumph of individual style.

Gaylene, I hear what you are saying and it's a good question. But I see K/R threads as a bit like what writers or artists do when we solicit critiques of our work. It's valuable to hear a range of responses, to filter these (as Angie said) and then decide how we want to respond. We may take the advice given or we may not...but typically we come away of a stronger sense of our own aesthetic goals.

And sometimes others see things that our own eyes miss. We're counting on that, when we consult the forum. We're also sometimes curious about whether others see us as we see ourselves -- can we stretch to wear this or that formerly (to us) off-limits style? Can we look good in that colour? Which formal look is better for us (if we usually wear casual) or which casual look more natural? And so on.

Angie, enjoy your time with your papa!

Deborah

Veteran

In response to Gaylene's thoughts re comments in K/R posts, I feel that many of you know me (my style preferences, and lifestyle) quite well now so I think you are equipped to make a reasonable assessment of of a garment I might be considering. You help keep me on the straight and narrow and not go off on a tangent that isn't me;). K/R posts are really valuable and I trust that comments are made based on what you know about me and my wardrobe as opposed to what you like and might wear yourself.

citygirldc

(website)

Veteran

I agree with Suz. I have outfits that are figure flattering and look good on but I don't "feel" the outfit on that particular day, then it won't matter what I wear. I never wear outfits for the opposite sex. In fact, I get more compliments from women then men anyway.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Thanks so much for your thoughts ladies, and for chiming in on the K/R question for Gaylene. All important points

Rae, like you, I think that if you are interested in fashion and style - you absolutely think that what you are wearing is flattering to the world in some way.

Suz, I'm always addressing the "feeling factor" (how you feel wearing a certain outfit or look) with clients when we put together their wardrobes. It's vitally important and you make perfect sense.