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Mom stuff

JAileen

Veteran

Okay, soccer mom, mom hair, mom jeans.

I really enjoyed being a mom. As a baby and toddler, my son had a very sunny disposition. When he was older, he developed a great sense of humor. I had teachers of his say, "Did you know, he's really funny!" His perspective on the world was interesting and refreshing, and funny.

I lucked out.

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52 replies

Latest reply was from JAileen

rachylou

Veteran

Dd is very sweet, willing to please. I found everything very interesting. PTA was simply fascinating to me. The city politics, the strangeness of other parents...lol.

Ok, but I fostered a puppy. I got Lilypup as a rescue when she was about 1. She's not a dog that will take harassment, which is kinda what is expected of a good canine citizen. Anyways, I did a good job with Little Hess tho...and found I really didn't like her that much. She just didn't care, you know? Lol.

JAileen

Veteran

Rachy, I know what you mean about PTA. It was a closed club. Fine, if you don't need my help I'm not going to worry about it!

Anonymous

Becoming a mom was the best thing that ever happened to me. And to think I wasn't even sure I wanted to have kids - ugh, so selfish a time that was. Although I hated a lot of the first few years and had brutal postpartum depression, I have the best kid ever and cannot even being to imagine what the heck I would have done with myself had I not had her. For starters, I doubt I'd have become a basketball fanatic I loved doing all the mom things : birthday parties, making Halloween costumes, sewing things for her, and being an involved mom at school (yes, even on that horrid Parent Council). I made lifelong friends through her friends' parents and some of the best times of my life were kid-related. She just turned 20 last week - I can hardly believe it !

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JAileen

Veteran

Lisa, same with me, most of my friends have boys that were my son's friends. I loved making Halloween costumes. Your daughter is darling.

Aziraphale

Veteran

JAileen, I like being a mom, too. In some ways it's harder than I expected, but it's also more rewarding than I had anticipated. I actually wasn't sure how it was going to go -- I wasn't that little girl who played with dollies and dreamed of the day she'd have a real baby to dress up! I had zero experience with small children. But it all works out, doesn't it?

I'm still not a PTA mom, though.

JAileen

Veteran

Aziraphale, I never played with dolls either! The hardest part, after sleep deprivation in the early days, was just worrying all along the way. Not that he gave me any cause, but I worried anyway. Maybe that's why my hair is nearly white.

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

Aziraphale, I was shocked at how much I didn't like mom stuff at first. I did not like giving up my body to another person, 24-7, I did not like giving up my sleep and personal reading time, I did not like reading the same stories over and over every night, &c. I also did not like all the mom politics in school. I was the first person I know who worked from home full time while having a baby, and back then all anyone ever said to me was oh, you're so lucky, you must be able to work in your pajamas. Fast forward almost 17 years and I realize that I just was a better mom to a person who could speak and make herself understood, and I got better with every passing year. Perhaps this is an EQ thing as you suggested in your other post. Anyway my DD is an amazing person and I am glad to have her around full time this summer.

JAileen

Veteran

UmmLila, who could possibly enjoy interrupted sleep? I'm glad you're enjoying your daughter now.

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

Now that I have a teenager, I wonder how my non-parent friends stay humble without a know-it-all kid pointing out everything that's wrong with them.

Seriously though, I really like being a mom and, I have to admit, I get a little defensive when I hear people talk about how they hate when women constantly choose their kids over other opportunities. When an artist prioritizes their craft or a startup owner prioritizes their business, it's looked on as a virtue. When dads prioritize their families, they're heroes. (Seriously, I read a whole article the other day about how Obama has never missed a parent-teacher conference.) So why, when women do it, is it a flaw? My kid is my top priority and he knows that even if I'm not standing around waiting for him (and believe me, I don't just go inert when he's not around), I'll be there when he needs me. I'm proud of that. Being there for him for fifteen years hasn't been putting my life on hold, it's been an important aspect of the life that's been going on this whole time.

BrieN

Veteran

I have loved being a mom; I was definitely better at some ages and stages than others, but I have enjoyed them all. Parenting was a full-time job for me; I had very little good parenting myself as a child, and I really had to work hard to not repeat the patterns that were part of my own childhood.

I agree with Jenn wholeheartedly.

DH and I were just laughing over dinner talking about what interesting humans we've raised.

JAileen

Veteran

Jenn, I had a know it all teen, too. My sympathies. It does get better. My son is 28 and takes a little advice now and then.

Brie, I know! So interesting. My son got a college scholarship based on an essay he did on pornography and the Constitution. I didn't know about it until later..

catgirl

Veteran

Never ever wanted to be a mom, then I suddenly did when it was almost too late and was lucky to have my 12 year old boy. Would have liked a second girl but it didn't happen. I can't imagine life without my son now and feel guilty that I almost deprived my DH who is an AMAZING dad and was willing to sacrifice having kids for me. I'm a mom - doesn't that make all my jeans mom jeans?

catgirl

Veteran

Jenn, what you said needs to be framed on a wall.

JAileen

Veteran

Una, I'm glad you didn't wait until it was too late. Your son is lucky to have such great parents.

Yes, all your jeans are mom jeans. Mine, too.

RobinF

Veteran

It is interesting being a mom, isn't it? I agree with Jenn, it keeps you humble! I'm lucky to have my three, boy-girl-boy ages 19,23,25. They are great kids but I sure can't boss them around any more. And I guess that is how we raised them, to be independent thinkers. But really I can't imagine how my life would be without them, they keep it fun and interesting.

Summer

Veteran

I have loved being a mum, too, JAileen, and I feel very privileged to have had the opportunity to stay at home with my children during their formative years.
BUT, as a grandmother, I have now been through two phases of nappies, toddler tantrums and teenage sulks, and am now out the other side enjoying my freedom! Now, when I come across a new mum with a screaming baby or truculent tot, I just thank my lucky stars that I'm not the one who has to deal with it!

Anonymous

It's fun hearing from all the moms! I never had kids, so fell into the role of "aunt" for many of my friends' kids. I feel like I got to enjoy the benefits of child rearing without all the sacrifices. It's been fun watching them all grow up and have kids of their own. Moms should get more than one day a year to celebrate them. It's a big, important job; maybe THE most important.

rachylou

Veteran

Ya know, technically, humans are an alloparenting species. It only takes a little bit of time being around a baby before your brain is rewired, did you know? It doesn't take pregnancy. Many more individuals rear the young than the genetic donors. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, the other parents you do carpool duty with, etc. When I was a teen, I had an entourage of younger cousins. DurIng lightning storms, I'd hear my bedroom door creak open and then little kids would start pouring in and climbing on my bed. Not their moms' but Cousin Rachy's. Of course, this was my grandfather's house, occupied by extended family (we're not even talking first cousins here, way beyond that), but whatever. I think of my upbringing, and the hippies had a lot of power over me, lol. My parents weren't hippie, but here I am! Haha!

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Parenting-so glad I did it/am doing it. So wish I had taken better care of myself and included myself in my priority list.

JAileen

Veteran

Robin, it kills me when my son lives overseas or back east, but an independent mature adult is our goal, isn't it?

Summer, I'm definitely over diapers, and I don't even have grandchildren!

Xtabay, a good auntie is worth her weight in gold.

You too, Rachy, whether auntie or cousin, I bet you a lot of fun for the younger ones to be around.

Barbara, we definitely should take care of ourselves. It's like on a plane, we're told to put on our oxygen mask first. (I hope to God I never have to do that!)

rachylou

Veteran

This is OT on OT, but I rather think my small cousins gravitated toward my sternness. We have a family friend who is a child psychologist, and he didn't understand why they wouldn't hang with him. If they were bad, he'd say it's ok and he'd try to relate. I don't think they thought he was up to the job of minding them, lol.

Kate

Veteran

Hah! Your analyst made me laugh out loud, Rachy. Made me realize that as a little kid, I did gravitate toward the stalwart adults in my circle of relatives. Whatever came up, I knew they could cope, and if the creek did rise, I'd be saved!

Kate

Veteran

analysis, I meant analysis, though I could probably use an analyst

JAileen

Veteran

Rachy, Kate, I think kids like steadiness, constancy and dependability. So maybe you both have those qualities. As far as being stern, I think every adult in my family was stern!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Don't hate me for this, but I never wanted to be a mom. I always assumed I would someday, but it wasn't in the cards, and I never had that maternal urge kick in.

However! I am thrilled I got to be a stepmom. I think stepmothers are woefully under-appreciated, and I'm lucky that I got two wonderful, creative, smart, funny, sweet stepsons in the bargain when I married my husband. I wouldn't trade them for anything. I've watched them grow up (they were 6 and 8 when I met them, and they are now 25 and 27), and we've been through a lot. I love them dearly.

JAileen

Veteran

Janet, I never thought I would ever be a mom, or even get married! I'm glad you're having a chance to break all the evil stepmother stereotypes.

Sara L.

Veteran

I enjoy being a mom as well. The funny thing is that I don't like kids. I only like my kids. I never oohed over new babies or played with my nieces/nephews. However, my husband looooves kids so I knew that I was going to have to have them. I wasn't worried about it though because my mom said she never liked kids either, except her own, so I figured I would be the same. I have come to really like babies though, even those that aren't my own. I think I'm the only person I know that enjoys the newborn phase.

JAileen

Veteran

Sara, my husband is great with little kids, too. He's down on the floor putting together Legos with them. I think we like our kids best because we know them better.

Anonymous

I was never into babies at all, but now that it's way too late to have them, I just swoon over them! Every baby I see just seems miraculous and adorable. I don't understand this at all -- I used to run from babies. Maybe I was scared one of them would activate my biological clock! Anyway, thanks for doing what I was too chicken to do. Moms rock and rule.

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