Mary's post about cleaning out her parents home and moving them into assisted living has really hit home. My parents never downsized, but had my brother as their caregiver so he took charge of their finances even after their death and that really simplified things for me as we were co-executors.

My IL's situation on the other hand is another thing. My MIL died unexpectedly last month and left us with a huge mess. While she and my FIL went to an estate planner and set up a trust, it really did not make things easier for us. (Make a note that estate planners charge a lot of money for their services and do not necessarily make things easier. I would recommend hiring an estate lawyer who knows the laws inside and out in the state of the decedent).

It is not that their finances are complicated, it is just that they did not consolidate their accounts as they go older. This translates into about 10 institutions with numerous accounts. A couple of these institutions are not in state either. At least the accounts have up to date beneficiaries listed and remember beneficiaries listed on your accounts trumps what is in your will. A trust will help reduce the chance that your estate will be subject to probate but does not necessarily guarantee that it won't.

So instead of going into all the minute details, let me just recommend a few things you can do and make your parents do before it is too late.

1. Consolidate your accounts to as few financial institutions as possible.
2. Keep your beneficiaries up to date. Realize that you cannot designate a beneficiary on any stocks you own so you either need to transfer it into a joint account or an account with a TOD (transfer on death beneficiary) and DO NOT keep the stock certificate. Send it back so that the brokerage firm will convert it into plan shares or you will pay to have a new certificate issued if the old one cannot be found.
3. Make sure your parents tell you where all the important documents are and that you inform your children of yours.
4. Clean out the clutter in your home so downsizing doesn't become a chore. Take advantage of those "free shredding", "e-recycling" events.
5. If there is anything at all that you want from your parents' estate or anything you want to leave to your kids either give it away now or make sure you specify who gets what in the will so there are no arguments or feuds later on.
6. Know the inheritance laws in your state and make select the right person as executor of the estate or at least ask the person ahead of time if they want to take on the task. There are no guarantees that the executor won't rip you off so get a detailed accounting of all transactions.
7. Make sure your final wishes are made known in writing as to what you want or do not want in a funeral including what you want on your headstone. Funerals are not cheap so if you want a big event make sure you have enough funds to cover it. My MIL's funeral was over $15 thousand and that does not include the burial plot or the headstone.
8. Set up a POA (Power of Attorney) ahead of time with someone you deeply trust so that decisions can be made if you or a loved on is incapacitated. There are different kind of POA (medical, financial) and it is not easy to get one last minute when it is truly needed.

If anyone has any more advice to give from their own experiences, please do so. I know this is something we all rarely think about until it is time. But you and your kids will be grateful for all the pre-planning and forethought when the time comes and will reduce the immense stress.