Shannon, thank you so much for sharing this very personal story with us, and for alerting us all to the warning signs, often very subtle, that should never be ignored. The more this subject is discussed openly, the better the chance of others receiving the help they need.
You are a wonderful, caring parent, and your son is, indeed, very lucky to have your support.
My best wishes to all of you.

shannon, my heart goes out to you and your family. i can't pretend to understand what you went thru, but i'm inspired by the commitment that you have to your son.

I understand how you feel. My older brother has struggled with addiction issues for many years and it is hard to watch knowing that only he can turn things around.

You and your husband are amazing to be able to deal with this in such a loving and supportive way. I hope your son gets the treatment he needs and is able to learn and grow from the experience.

(((hugs)))

Thank you for sharing this very personal story. Your love and support will mean so much to your son. Yes, the more we talk about mental illness , the more understanding there will be.

I really appreciate sharing this Shannon. Sending hugs to you and your family. My kids are still young but you made me think of importance to discuss this topic openly with them at some point.

What a terrible time for you and the family! but what is important now is that your son is talking openly to you and you are sharing your experience here on the forum. This tells me that both of you are already making great progress. Open discussion is key with mental illness issues. Big hugs to you, Shannon! As a mother of two teenage boys, I can relate how hard it must be for you.
I am always looking for signs of unusual behaviour in both of them and we discuss EVERYTHING openly.

Wow...just...WOW. Thank you all so much for your kindness and support. More meaningful than you know

We've always encouraged everyone in our household to be open and honest - no topic is taboo. Home needs to be the "safe place". Yes, I wish my son had told us sooner that he had a drug problem. But I'm incredibly grateful that he told us at all and when he did. It gave us a starting point to help with his treatment.

Deborah and Diane - I do strongly encourage you to open the discussion with your children when the time is right regarding drugs and mental illness. I shudder to think what could have happened had we not been able to broach the subject and make it ok for our son to tell us the truth.

Rachy - you are very correct - mental is physical also. There's wiring and chemical levels involved.

Suz - I couldn't agree with you more. There is much self medication going on the teenage years sadly. As you recall, our son had been severely bullied in his early adolescent years and it left a tremendous scar regarding his self esteem. No matter how much we tried to "lift him up" he always felt like he wasn't good enough. In his own words, dope made him relax and less anxious about those sorts of feelings. So now part of his ongoing therapy is working through his self esteem problems so that he doesn't feel the need for drugs.

I wanted to say that we also have completely involved our son's best friends in EVERYTHING. As an only child, our son's immediate group of best buds (there are four of them) are extremely important to him. They have hung out with him and at our house for probably 5 years now. In fact, two of them were witness to his psychotic break. When we brought him home from the hospital, we sat at the kitchen table (hubby, me, son and friends) and laid out what had occurred and why. We told the friends that we needed their help in keeping our son "clean" - don't offer anything, don't smoke around him, that sort of thing. We're not their parents and I have no right to ask them not to do things but I do have the right to ask them not to do it in front of my son. Well they made me cry when they all put their hands in the middle with my son's and said "don't worry bud - we got your back". And they have indeed. My son's biggest worry was that he would lose his friends because, as he put it, "I'm crazy and I'm broken". But not at all. For this, I am eternally grateful.

That just made me cry too... Shannon , I am so sorry, my heart really goes out to you. Our children are most precious of all things.
Sending healing thoughts and vibes to your family, and big hugs.
Yes, mental illness should be talked about. It is more and more...
Thanks for sharing this painfull story.

Your son is fortunate to have great parents like you and your DH. His friends sound amazing as well. What great support network he has.

I have two close cousins who suffered from mental illness since their teenage years. Thank you for sharing your stories.

Shannon - this is such a well-written , heartfelt and honest account. I am in awe of how your son's friends responded - putting their friend's needs in front of their own. Remarkable for teenagers, I know. I am no stranger to mental illness either but am still disappointed in the number of people who don't understand what it is, and isn't , and have attached a stigma to it that just isn't valid. Thank god your son has such educated, interested, and energetic parents. Not all kids do.

What an amazing story about his friends -- that made me cry good tears, Shannon. xoxoxo

Thank you so much for sharing your story and the lessons you've learned. I hope that things continue to improve with your son. It's heartwarming to me that he has family and friends that are there to watch his back. I can only hope that my sons will have such good friends to help them out in times of crisis.

It's so wonderful of you to share this with us for our benefit and you are an amazing mom. Thank you.

I'm curious about your description of marijuana as not being harmless *anymore.* I'm trying to parse this: is it because of some kind of genetic engineering of the plant that makes it more powerful or addictive? Not trying to hijack the discussion. It's just really disturbing to think of pot nowadays being capable of so much damage.

Shannon I am simply overwhelmed at your generosity in sharing this story. Yes, the more we talk about it the more we help to remove the stigma from mental illness and to recognize the signs of drug problems. Thank you and warmest wishes for your family. You are all amazing.

It's genetic engineering as in selective breeding that's created the super strong varieties. But there have always been people who have especially bad reactions.

Mochi: This might help clear up some of the changes in marijuana strength: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/ma.....ests-find/

Shannon: How wonderful that your son has a tribe of friends to support and walk through this with!

Oh Shannon you are doing a wonderful thing in sharing. As someone who has a child with a mental illness/addiction problem. It has been hard for me to share. You are doing the right things and your son is a lucky young man.

I will sent you a PM this weekend. Lots of hugs!

Wow Shannon, your son has some wonderful friends around him. I love that you included them and you have actually allowed them to take a level of responsibility which can only be a good thing.

I really appreciate your post.

You are an amazing family. And what an amazing group of friends.

Thanks, Beth Ann and rachylou.

Sorry for getting back to this so late - crazy busy at work these days.

Part of the issue with marijuana these days (according to the psychiatrist) is that the THC component is far more potent than in the 70's and 80's. It is now grown and genetically modified to be as strong as possible, grow larger, products buds earlier so that it can get out on the street quicker.

And unfortunately much of what the kids buy these days has been laced with other drugs so that at times, it is no longer "clean".

Rachy is right though that there are people who have bad reactions no matter what. The psychiatrist also told us that if there is a family history of mental illness (in my family, a maternal aunt who is schizophrenic) you already have a predisposition and the marijuana can bring that problem to light.

I openly talk about mental illness to remove the stigma.

My Mother committed suicide at age 41. I was 15. She did not get the help that was needed back then. I also suffered from the dark hole of depression at age 43. Thankfully, with the help of a wonderful pdoc, I am in remission due to medications that I plan to be on for the rest of my life.

I am an advocate for medication but I noticed the younger generation would rather self-medicate with alcohol & illegal drugs. I've watched both of my adult daughters struggle but refuse to consider medication & get angry with me for suggesting it.

Thank you for sharing your story. We all benefit from it. Hugs.

Thank you for sharing Shannon , I know from personal experience how difficult it is to deal and share this kind of experience.
DS is very lucky to have you both, doing exactly what you need to be doing at this moment.
I also hope that you yourself have some kind of emotional support besides your husband. Of course YLF is always here and we can talk by PM if you want to, but when a loved one is involved everything becomes a million times more complicated to deal with.
Big big hugs for you.

Oh, Shannon:
Thank you for sharing with us.

Big virtual hugs, if you want them, for everything you've been through.

Mental illness is brutal, especially, as you said, because it's so freakin' hard to get help for it.

I've seen firsthand the impacts untreated, or poorly treated mental illness that starts in adolescence has 10 and 20 years on. It's heartbreaking.

So, I'm glad your son has good help now and such supportive parents.

It sounds like you're all facing this together, and being open to talking about it is such a big part of that!

Your reply

Shannon thank you for sharing this. You are brave and strong and wise. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Shannon, it has taken me awhile to get my thoughts together to post them here. My experience here in California dealing with mental illness has been positive. Insurance companies had to treat mental illness the same as any other illness starting in the 1990's which has lead to better care and help. Your son is lucky to have parents as open as you and your husband. It is so hard for some individuals not to blame the person with the condition for causing them pain. I do not believe they would blame the person with mental illness if they had cancer instead. In my mind they are the same as the ill person has no control over either condition. I understand the anger loved ones feel but do not think these folks should withhold love or any other retaliatory actions against the ill person. This is a positive part of putting mental illness discussions out there, a better understanding of the condition. And maybe a better way to help the ill person. Including his friends in the discussion will not only help your son but also these boys. The knowledge they gain from you they will take with them and be able to use the rest of their lives. Thank you so much for spreading the word and educating others about this condition.

Late here, but acknowledging the situation is a huge step.
Plus having the support of his friends is great.
I wish you the best on this difficult path.

Thank you for sharing, Shannon. My younger brother died in March of this year, at 47, from liver and kidney failure. He was an an alcoholic with multiple mental illnesses. Because these were diagnosed when he was an adult, we as his family were never able to ensure he had treatment or even to know what his diagnosis was at any given moment. The roots of these problems were not in marijuana use, but they certainly went back to his high school years. Had my parents more information, or had there been less stigma around mental illness, or later on, were mentally ill adults in the US not given free rein to refuse any and all medical treatment at will, he might be with us today. I am glad you are able to help your son when he needs it most.

I'm late too but I'm so glad for you that your son is doing better and that you are making it through such a hard time with grace and courage. Thanks for the trust you've shown in sharing this story.

Thank you for sharing, Shannon. Your son is lucky that he has the support of an amazing family and great friends.