I thought I should start a new thread to report what is, as you can see, a very major development.

It probably sounds like a negative one on the surface, but that in no way reflects what took place this morning. He found the letter, took an hour or so to process and think, and then initiated the most engaging, productive and honest conversation we've had for several years. We both felt closer to each other at the end of it than we have since long before our troubles began.

We acknowledged our fears and emotional hangups. We discussed the diverging paths our lives have taken. And we mutually agreed that there isn't anything that can be done to save the romantic relationship. Any potential actions have been tried before without success, and we both realize that, as a couple, we've come to the end of the road.

That doesn't mean that our underlying friendship and respect for one another is compromised, though. At the moment it's not in the least. Since we've been living as roommates anyway for the past long while, we've decided not to rush the process of finding new homes etc. We'll perge accumulated junk from here and take the time to find living situations that work for us both, then leave when the time is right.

I felt hhorribly sad through the first half of our conversation, and I have no doubt I'll be swamped with waves of grief over the next long while, but on the whole I feel a great sense of relief. I took a major step towards reclaiming my self-respect, since my avoidance of this issue made me feel like a coward and a fraud. Getting back on good terms with myself will be my top priority in the coming weeks and months, I think, though I realize that my initial reaction may well give way to something more nuanced and complicated.

Once again, I cannot thank you ladies enough for the love and support you've shown me. Some of you have been offering words of wisdom on this issue for a couple of years, others just weighed in on my most recent thread, but in every case your thoughts and insights gave me more comfort than you realize.

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