Is the way you dress feminine? - YouLookFab Forum

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Is the way you dress feminine?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Scarlet just posted a thread on wanting to dress in more of a feminine way. Good for you, Scarlet

I'm not entirely sure how to answer my own question.

I do wear masculine things and sport very short hair. I'm not voluptuous and wildly curvy and am seldom in high heels. I wear minimal make-up and often surrender my waistline. YET! I always feel feminine. I wear girly accessories. I'm also naturally lady like which makes me feel feminine too. Does that count? I think so. What do you think, and do you think that you dress in a feminine manner?

Dressing

76 replies

Latest reply was from Echo

yardshark

Well...I don't make any effort to dress in a pointedly feminine manner. I am a busty hourglass, so I can't help looking like a woman no matter what I wear...

I love short hair on me (although it's shoulder length at the mo), and I am strongly feminist. (Interestingly enough, my husband appreciates my non-stereotypically feminine qualities.) I wear lots of masculine or unisex things, though I also wear skirts, dresses, and sometimes heels. However, I avoid items that are very dainty or frilly or floral. Because I'm petite I need less precious looks to keep commanding respect rather than come across as a little girl or ingenue.

AJ

Veteran

When I first started wearing my fedora over the summer, I liked it but something always felt a bit off. Then I noticed that I tended to wear a more masculine look the hat. So now I make sure to wear it with feminine frills and my hair down if it's not too hot.

So yes, I do feel more me when I dress more feminine. I like florals, ruffles, lace, curls and color! : )

Maya

Veteran

I am probably "wildly curvy" but I don't think that makes me feel more feminine. It just makes me feel awkward because I do not have a very feminine or sexy personality at all.

Nothing I wear is going to make me look like a boy or a man, so I don't think about femininity when I get dressed. My outfits vary from girly to rugged to androgynous.

I do not like heavy makeup, and I heartily dislike garishly bright lip colors. I know a lot of women say they hate heavy makeup, but by my standards, those women still wear pretty heavy makeup.

taylor

Veteran

I am always cognizant of my femininity when I dress.
I like being girly and their isn't a tom boy bone in my body. I do like menswear on me...an occasional tie, trousers, vest, button up...but always with a feminine vibe. I am not looking for androgyny. I appreciate it on others but not me.
I always dress feminine and that has never changed..

Refugee

Veteran

Whether I'm wearing a more masculine look or something more overtly femine, it's all about how I feel in the outfit. If I feel fab, I feel feminine and enjoy being a girl. Boys don't have all the amazing choices we do. Cue Nancy Kwan . . .

afterism

I am a pear with boobs so I am considered curvy as well. I will always look female.

I wear a lot of dresses but don't feel particularly feminine.

Maybe it's just my modern, post feminism, Gen Y attitude but I associate feminine with soft, young women who dress very romantically.

I am none of those things. I feel womanly not feminine when I know I look good.

Mellllls

Veteran

I think I dress very feminine and my personality is kind of a typical girly-girl. That's just me. Angie, you wear a lot of skirts and dresses. I don't think you can get more feminine than that even if there are other aspects of your look that are not as feminine.

catgirl

Veteran

Although I wear skirts and dresses, I have a bit of a tough-guy complex and don't like really femme-y styles on me. Yardshark, you wrote my post!

Frances

Yes, I think the way I dress is very feminine, though I am not a fan of girly-girly frills like lace or florals or bows and I stick with subtle make-up (mascara is the one thing I will not touch). But you will find me in heels most days and skirts or dresses when I'm in a good place in my life. In general, I like being a woman and looking "feminine," though I am fully aware that everyone will probably have a different definition of "femininity."

Dusty

(website)

I think I do, but probably not traditionally. I just can't do super frilly, lace-y ruffly stuff; I think it looks out of place on me. But....I'm tall, not really curvy (inverted triangle/rectangle), I have big feet, manly hands and my facial features and head are kind of on the large side. So....if I dress too masculinely I end up looking like a dude.

bella

(website)

Veteran

Hello, have you met me? I am sure the answer is a big fat yes.

Queen Mum

Veteran

I've never seen you in a look that didn't look feminine to me Angie.
I think I dress feminine as well. I've never been mistaken for a boy atleast

Marley

Veteran

For me - I think I do dress feminine - even when I am wearing androgynous clothing. I always wear some make-up, have my nails polished, wear jewelry and style my hair. For as long as I can remember, I have been "into" sports and have never been afraid to sweat - I don't think of that as being feminine - but, at the same time, when I participate in sports, I still have my polished nails and my make-up on! I love being a "girl" - but I had a Dad who treated me a LOT like a boy, and I adored him, so I never minded that. I don't wear frills - it doesn't fit my personality - but IMO you don't have to wear frills in order to dress feminine.

Vix

Veteran

At this point in my life, yup. Despite frequently being told I think "more like a man" -- whatever that means, ha!

Queen Mum

Veteran

I honestly can't think of anyone here who doesn't look feminine in the outfits they post. When I think of masculine dressing, the first person to come to my mind is Ellen Degeneres.

Sally

Veteran

It has definitely become way more feminine since being on this site..used to hardly ever dresses now I wear at least 50 % of the time if not more ! I have started wearing things like ballet flats etc. which I consider a more feminine dress to what I used to wear.

Desmo April

(website)

Veteran

I have described myself in the past as a girly tomboy, I don't have a ladylike bone in my body.

I have some aspects of myself that are stereotypically feminine. I love makeup, I actually get ready every morning at a vintage art deco vanity--that's pretty feminine. But it really isn't an aspect of what I wear. I feel both physically and emotionally constrained wearing dresses. I ride a motorcycle to work about three times a week--jeans and boots are pretty much a requirement. The bikes--I have three--aren't usually considered very feminine and that is a huge part of my life.

Maya

Veteran

Funny, judging by Kim's comment I think we're all envisioning something different.

When I think of "feminine" I think of things that straight men stereotypically like or that send out biological cues about one's reproductive status (I'm not sure how to say this more delicately): sexy secretary looks with heels and pencil skirts that cling to the bum, fitted blouses, long "done" hair, red lipstick. This is the kind of femininity that makes me cringe a bit. It's not that it doesn't look fab, I just can't get past the messages it sends...intentionally or not.

But others see feminine as anything frilly, lacey, or ruffled. This is the kind of femininity I do like. I guess I like girly femininity as opposed to womanly femininity.

And Kim sees femininity as anything that a man wouldn't wear

Melissa

Well, huh. This was a head scratcher for me. As it turns out, "masculine" and "feminine" are apparently meaningless words for me in terms of clothes. I tried hard to evaluate outfits and think in those terms and just couldn't make myself do it. I really do not associate specific types of clothes with genders. I always feel like a woman, because that's what I am. I don't feel less feminine if I'm wearing stereotypically masculine clothing.

That said, when I wear clothes that are really form fitting and/or curve hugging, I often feel more on display specifically as a woman, and I have mixed feelings about that.

taylor

Veteran

2 different things I think.
Dressing feminine...we are all female...dressing sexual...we are not all trying to convey overt sexuality. Very different dressing to me.

Although I dress feminine I am definitely NOT trying to capture a man's attention. I am female, no hiding that..dressing in a sexual way to send men a signal...NOPE.!

I agree with Maya about certain messages being sent and that makes me cringe a bit too!

Anonymous

I will wear tomboyish clothes, but I don't feel unfeminine in them. I think they can actually accentuate femininity sometimes since the contrast calls attention to it.

marianna

Veteran

I've never thought about this! I think I dress very feminine, act very feminine, etc. I don't believe anything about my appearance conveys an element of masculinity. It's not intentional, just the way I'm wired.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I don't strive for femininity - I don't shun it, I just don't find it a particularly useful way to think about things. I am female, and I don't dress to hide that, so in that sense I'm feminine. But femininity and masculinity are social constructs anyway - some actual biological sex characteristics and some totally arbitrary social rules mixed up in a bowl and served to us as "this is the way things have always been," which is totally untrue from a cultural or historical standpoint.

I don't particularly like super-girly things - ruffles and lace, or overt sexiness. I just don't think it fits with my personality and the way I prefer to present myself. But I generally don't think less of other women who prefer that mode. I suppose I do judge people who are over-the-top sexual in their presentation in an everyday situation.

I dig masculine and androgynous style, to look at, even though it doesn't really suit my body type and lifestyle so I don't really wear it myself.

(Boy, I'm contrary tonight.)

Lena

I'm not sure what to answer frankly.

I vacillate a lot in terms of style. But I will always feel feminine because of my bone structure and build. I don't think that's Angie's question, though.

I'm watching this show called Ru Paul's Drag Race. So lately I've been thinking about features like bone structure and body type that make someone look feminine.

P.S. Taylor brought up a good point about dressing "sexually". As for me, it simply doesn't go with my personality.

RandomThoughts (Andrea)

Veteran

QM, your post made me laugh. I HAVE been mistaken for a boy. Granted, it was over 20 years ago, I had my head shaved and I probably weighed 115lb soaking wet but left quite an impression. In that I'm constantly certain that I look boyish or butch, though it didn't induce me to modify my style.

I don't think I dress in a particularly feminine way in general. I love military looks and such. However due to my small size I don't think I look masculine and I try to wear makeup and make sure my hair is styled nicely whenever possible. I also love to wear heels or nifty shoes. I also attempt to show off my figure when I can. Once in a while I try to add ruffles or lace, just to stretch my boundaries as those things do not come naturally to me. I'm also making an effort toward bohemian looks as I do love them.

I was whinging to my business partner the other day that I was worried maybe my short hair made me look too masculine and maybe I should grow it out. She told me to stop being dumb.

Deb

A challenging question - mulling it over ... I think femininity has less to do with an outfit or physical appearance, and more to do with inherent personality/behavior/attitude.

Following this through, I believe it supports Angie's remarks on how she always feels feminine, even when dressed in a less *traditionally* feminine style. It comes from within. And what we feel within has a way of instinctively informing many aspects of our behavior and thereby the signals we project to the world. It's a sort of aura - for lack of a better term.

Could anyone be more feminine than Audrey Hepburn? Even dressed in pants and a shirt, short hair and with her slender "boyish" figure, she's as girly as they come. Staying within the same era, take Jayne Mansfield. Touted and positioned as a sex goddess, in my opinion there was nothing feminine about her. Despite her hair and figure, her provocative outfits and movie roles, she was not a feminine woman. She exuded sexuality - but not femininity.

Anyhooo, all this rambling in the wee hours is by way of saying: although femininity may be enhanced by one's external appearance, I believe it is an elusive quality that comes from within.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

RT, you remind me - I was mistaken for a boy several times when I was a kid - my mom made me keep my hair short, and I was always tall for my age. As soon as she would let me, I grew out my hair long - then I realized it was a pain, and cut it all off again!

RandomThoughts (Andrea)

Veteran

Dare I admit I was 17 at the time?

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Ha! After puberty, I wasn't apt to be mistaken for a boy, but I have a short slim friend who definitely still is on occasion. I still get "can I help you sir, I mean ma'am" comments from servers who have just looked out of the corner of their eye and all they saw was the short hair.

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