" As you listed, duplication, shopping without a plan, and collecting too many of the same silhouette. I figured out my sticky areas and worked on them so I can stay on track. Hopefully you are getting to that point also."

I've read this post and replies a couple of times now. I didn't think I had anything valuable to add here, and I still really don't, because I have lived and spent like a drunken sailor for most of my life. If I have money , I'll spend it. If I don't, I don't. But all of a sudden , this comment you made, Ms SF, really hit me. This is me too. I have these very same sticky areas and I'm thinking this is a good time and good season to get real for once. Thanks for the extra nudge.

We've prioritized savings for earlier retirement and do automatic withdrawals for those. Whatever is left covers the rest of our expenses, including house, food, medical, clothing. I keep track of our detailed expenses as we go. We don't have a budget, per se, but I have "numbers" based on our past needs/expenditures so I can better plan our savings withdrawals. We live a bit under our earnings, so this works for us. I know every dollar we spend is a trade-off for something now vs. reaching our goal earlier, and that helps me stay focused and work on the clothes in a measured way. But I also stay at home and lead a fairly casual life, so I can be flexible.

SF, YES. Your strategy sounds familiar. I'm sure it's going to all work out fine.

Staysfit-- when calculating household income that percentage is supposed to be split between all family members. I'm the only person in my "household" --- however, my income is low enough that I only have a couple hundred dollars to spend beyond replacements of items that I wear out each year-- a couple of pair of shoes, at least one pair of jeans, several toppers, and at least 10 tops a year (I include gear, loungewear, and bras/undies in my budget and because of my 32DDD bust size even with ebay finds I spend close to $200 a year on bras). I don't have a reserve of largely unused clothing, so I have to spend a certain amount to keep my small wardrobe supplied. When I was working part-time I had no money to spend on expanding my wardrobe, even for special occasion items-- which I didn't own and often had to go without replacements. Increasing my income by even 10k would mean I could easily shop below or at the 5% level and if the SO and I combined incomes we would spend below 4%, especially since he rarely spends more than $500 a year on clothing because he wears a work uniform.

I think you raise a good point, Staysfit, when you describe how setting limits can repel us because it makes the whole process of shopping less emotional. I guess it's up to each of us how we feel about imposing limits on our desires and impulses. If the limits are externally imposed or placed there unwillingly, then we learn to play games to circumvent them like the "girl math" approach.

My decision to limit my buying was entirely MY idea. I just got tired of being self-indulgent. I was lucky enough to not have to worry about how much I spent on my clothes but I found that made it easier to use shopping as an emotional reward for a demanding job. By imposing some discipline on my buying, I actually found I enjoyed my new acquisitions much more. They seemed special and exciting instead of just more stuff to jam into my closet.

My thinking is that numbers--whether they are in dollars, arbitrary numbers, or figures in a spreadsheet--just work as guides to help us exert some self-discipline. Different numbers work for different people. I knew that I could never stick to a certain dollar value per month without resorting to rationalizing or "girl math". After a few months of that, I'd be disgusted with my game-playing and would have chucked the whole artificiality of a set monthly limit. Limiting the number, without setting a dollar value, appealed to me because I could concentrate on the actual items I'd be adding instead of the dollar amounts. That captured my imagination and made me feel happy about each item I ever-so-carefully chose to add to my closet.

Sorry for being so long-winded, but I think you were on to something important when you talked about not wanting to lose the joy in finding things you love to wear. Limiting the number of items actually put the joy back into my wardrobe shopping in a way that an "allowance" could never do. But I know women who feel exactly the opposite--their "allowance" sets them free to spend without guilt. Overconsumption, though, not guilt, was my problem.

I think Gaylene's approach is a really nifty one for anyone with an established and healthy closet. You wouldn't have to limit it to 12 -- that number is arbitrary and it could be 24 or 36 or 6.

It's not so good for someone who is still in the process of building a working closet.

For me, it might work better to limit "shopping experiences" vs. number of items or similar. I prefer to buy in seasonal bursts and ignore shopping for the rest of the year. It might not work for everyone, but it seems to keep my spending to more reasonable limits without making me feel constrained in any way.

Now I can't stay away from this. Gaylene's thoughts really hit me too, in that my problem is now one of not really enjoying most of what I buy because I'm too busy plotting the next thing. When clothing stops become special and exciting, to me it's the sign of a problem that needs addressing. Man oh man do I have a lot to think about .Again, best conversations ever , here.

Maybe the answer is to go back to school. Lol -- but I'm only half joking. I used to have more time to think about purchases, but less so since I'm trying to juggle a full-time university schedule and raising two children. Now I don't have a lot of time to shop, and I tend to savour the few new purchases I make.

I can't seem to stay away from this conversation either!

@LisaP - The sticky areas Staysfit mentions (the ones you relate to) are mine....not sure they are her sticky areas too.

I'm doing the same thing. I buy something with GREAT EXPECTATIONS and tell myself "With this addition, my wardrobe will be oh-so-perfect". But once I get it, I lose interest in it immediately and I am busy plotting my next purchase....the next 'perfect' thing.

That's the main Reason for all the duplication and too much choice in one category. I focused on summer dresses in the beginning of summer and added in bulk. Not a very wise move...should've spaced them out, because I wear some more than others. I did the same for bootcut jeans, sandals, crossover drape tops and some more things. Now I have the Problem of Plenty and want wish my choices were simpler!

Anyways - a set budget will mean I will HAVE TO prioritize my spending. I can't keep 'hunting' for amazing stuff....got to start WEARING the amazing stuff I have!

Like Gaylene, my reasoning for wanting discipline is 'over consumption' and not guilt. I really want to enjoy my purchases more, not jam more stuff into my cupboards.

@Gaylene -- May I ask what your set number for every month/year is? I am beginning to see the appeal of your method. But how did you decide that 'X' number of items per month or year would be reasonable? What's the math for that?

PS: I'm exceptionally good at 'girl math' too. No point kidding myself or pretending that I'm going to stick to 'budgets' if I see something I really fancy.

Staysfit, back to answer your question about using the separate account to pay off the Nordstrom card. I think that might be a good solution for some to deal with the funds being "in play" while items are being returned. Others might struggle with meeting budget if it was left open. But I think budgeting like Angie does, setting aside extra since NAS is an annual event, makes sense. You had an incredibly disciplined NAS, so this may be an excellent solution for you!

I have been reading this thread as it develops and thinking about it. I used to shop recreationally - if I had nothing else to do I would go shopping. I often spent a lot of money on clothes that I neither needed nor really wanted. I usually didn't figure out I didn't particularly want something until after I had worn the item once.

Last year, I took a hiatus from shopping. I made a conscious decision to not shop for at least a few months. I have found that the shopping bug has been minimized. I equate it to going cold turkey to quit smoking. I am also giving more thought to what I need and am using pinterest to identify outfits that I would like to wear and identifying common pieces that I need. For this fall/winter, the only real needs I have identified are a pair or two of boots and a grey knit dress. If I focus on the items that I need/want and don't buy others, I don't need to worry about the budget as it is in check.

I love analogies so here goes. Consider it like your diet. If you eat whatever you feel the urge to eat, you likely need to keep track of your caloric intake. If you choose foods from the healthier options and include primarily fruits and veggies with lean protein, you likely don't need to count calories because you are making good choices. The fruits and veggies are the pieces you need to create outfits and looks you want to achieve.

Oh, people are so organised! Really interesting thread SF and all
I'm not organised - I have no idea what i spend in a year - but I do tend to be quite disciplined, so I don't overspend.
My only regular outgoing is my hair - not quite fashion, but crucial to feeling groomed and good for work.
I tend to shop around my birthday in July and Christmas - this is when I drop most of the money, as my hubby gives me quite a generous gift allowance!
I do very occasionaly shop when I'm upset - shopping as therapy - but luckily I am pretty happy in general, so maybe once or twice a year at most.
The rest of the time I try not to go shopping too often, and this seems to me to work pretty well. Not perpetually "looking" is key for me. I haven't had a lot of luck with online shopping - Australia is way behind the US in this - so this tempts me less than bricks and mortar. Though if I am at the shops for another item and something catches my eye that i really love, I'm happy to buy it. I work hard, and don't want to deprive myself!
When I write this down, it seems shambolic, but it seems to work for me okay and I never feel like I spend too much on clothes.

Having a budget is great. I had to sit down and develop a realistic budget. I say realistic because what I thought I "should" spend on clothing was not even close to what I actually spent. When I adjusted the budget, everything made sense. Stress and guilt melted away.

Impulsive buying is a bit harder and it can be an issue for me. I identified those times when I was most likely to be influenced by impulsive shopping. My biggest triggers are boredom, the idea that I "deserve" a reward, and wanting something new that will magically transform my life. You can guess that "rewards" and "magical garments" were not my most sensible purchases. But I did learn from my mistakes.

I recognize when each of these circumstances is triggered. My solution is distraction. I distract myself and the desire to mindlessly shop usually disappears. However, distraction does not work 100 percent of the time. When it doesn't work, I do shop. I try to shop with a plan in hand. I rarely buy myself "rewards" any more. I now understand that no single garment is going to magically transform my life. This enables me to admire those pieces in the store; I don't feel the need to bring them home with me anymore though.

Again, not always fool proof, but nothing in life is. I work within my boundaries as best I can.

I am reading everyone's input with much interest. I have to get ready for work but my mother mentioned something that interfered with her adherence to a budget and I thought it was interesting. She said she has spent more money since she purchased a tablet and carries it with her. She trolls the Internet and shops when she has down time. I suspect shopping to relieve boredom is a more frequent problem because of the Internet! My mother is 76. I wonder about the statistics?

What is this budget thing you speak of?

No, in all seriousness, it says something about me that I was avoiding even clicking on this discussion, but I'm glad I did. The idea of budgeting has been rattling around in my brain ever since my husband and I have been confronting the reality that our income stream is changing. I've had quite a bit of fun building my closet (and rebuilding it) over the last five years, but I've also had some cringeworthy moments realizing I've spent a lot on some things that I ended up not loving much past the point when I acquired them. That's a problem.

So many comments about bristling against arbitrary number limits resonated with me. I know myself well enough to know that I'll find a dollar amount restrictive and I'll want to rebel, but a quantity based approach could be much more effective for me. Thank you for that idea, Gaylene. I believe I'll be much more satisfied and effective if I concentrate on limiting the number of items I buy rather than stick to a dollar amount per month or per quarter.

Truth is, I've never had a set clothing budget in my life. Not even as a student or a young professional when I was making very little money. I always did fine with the money management adage I grew up with: when you get paid, you 1) pay your bills, 2) save some, and 3) spend some if you have some left. That worked really well when I had a steady paycheck, and even when I made the change to freelance work with a much more changeable income stream, I adapted pretty well. If I didn't have it, I didn't spend it. There was one period of time in my late 20s when I racked up some credit card debt, but it freaked me out and I tightened up until it was paid off.

I am an emotional and impulsive shopper. Shopping is a weakness for me. I have a lot of emotional stuff tied up in shopping -- my mom did too. She did it to stave off boredom, loneliness or depression, and I tend to shop more when I'm flirting around the edges of depression myself. I'm nodding along with Sterling's comments about distraction. The good thing is that I usually recognize this pretty quickly now and I can often stop myself or correct any expensive mistakes (I no longer buy from places with a "no returns" policy unless it is an absolute slam-dunk item).

So, I doubt that a dollar amount is the right answer for me, at this stage at least. But I'm going to give some very serious thought to how to implement an item-based shopping plan. Even one-in, one-out is not really enough to discipline me, because I can justify a purchase with the knowledge that i'll go home and find something I can get rid of easily enough.

Thanks for the amazing discussion, ladies. Sorry to write so much here, but I guess I'm sharing my ponderings and ramblings in case they resonate with anyone else here who has been avoiding the topic like I have.

I am going to add a new thought here after reading some of these posts. When I was considering what to do about budget and managing my closet, my DD quickly suggested that I use both a monetary limit plus an item number limit.

I bristled at the item number limit much as others are perturbed at idea of a monetary limit; however, I see great cleverness to the item number strategy as well. My daughter knows that simply placing an item number limit on me will not limit my spending. I am a high ticket item shopper, and I do not pay attention to cost. I never have, and may not have done if not for the budget limit agreed upon between myself and my DH. My DD was suggesting the use of both as a means of keeping my wardrobe size from ballooning while also reducing overall expenses over time.

I am still considering the item number limit and whether I should impose this or not. I have however gone forward with the budget agreement. I opened a new bank account tied it to a debit card and will be separately tracking my clothing expenses using this account. As a family, we are using budgeting software to look at how we spend all of our money, so I am looking at everything, not only clothes. We have set some new goals and hopefully the creation of a budget will help.

This brings me to Janet's comments above. What she says is interesting in that it's very similar to what I was told by my parents. Pay bills first, save some, then If any is left its okay to spend. Once income reaches a certain point however, the save some, part becomes more complicated with retirement savings, college savings, vacation savings, emergency savings, home repair savings, etc. Spending also becomes more complicated with children especially when one is away in college. The need for detailed budgeting comes into play.

If you know where the money is going, and you set new goals, then you can easily decide if you can meet those goals by shifting funds from one location to another and by staying within the budgeted guidelines. In my case this is exactly what is happening. If I stick to the budget, my entire family gets a reward!

Maneera, I wish I could say that my set number was developed according to a rigorous, well-thought-out mathematical formula, but the reality was it was number plucked out of the blue! I stood in front of my closet, looked at everything that was in there, and thought that 12 new items ought to be enough.

I really don't think the actual number means much in the grand scheme of things. After all, no one was going to come after me if I exceeded it. What I really wanted was a reasonable (to me) number that would make me pause before I slapped down my credit card.

I actually see this issue of "budgeting" from two perspectives. One is the monetary issue and the other is over buying. The monetary issue really wasn't a problem for me--I always had sufficient funds in my bank accounts to cover the cost of whatever I wanted to buy.

My problem was, if I saw something I liked, I'd find a way to convince myself the piece belonged in my closet. I did try to be a conscious, ethical shopper but taking inventory of my closet made me realize I just didn't need that many clothes to be well dressed. Too much choice was making me crave more, not less.

The real turning point came when I decided to drastically downsize my closet in preparation for a move to a condo in another city. I've so pleased with my smaller, but very functional, closet. The functional aspect came through loud and clear when I realized only a very small part of my former closet were 10s in terms of fit, flattery, and style; the rest of my wardrobe consisted of second-string duplicates, so-so experiments, lemming buys, emotional purchases, imaginary lifestyle clothes, items for occasions that never existed in my life, designer/label goggle buys, and "if one is good, why not buy 2 or 3 in different colors for variety" purchases.

For me, the number is just a fast and easy way to avoid those bad shopping decisions. I still make the occasional mistake, and I still buy with my heart, but thinking really hard before buying helps me figure out if the item will still give me the same surge of pleasure a few months from now.