I'm a Spanish woman in her late twenties (ouch) who moved to London, UK about a year ago. Knowing no one, except for a girl I met during an internship in Barcelona -I'm not sure I had ever met her in a non-professional environment before I arrived in London. She also had the whole pack: job, boyfriend, close friends. So, yeah, she's great but didn't offer much company.

One of my best moves here? Joining a writing Meetup. Like-minded individuals writing for two hours in a coffee-shop and socialising afterwards with a drink in their hands. Some of them would stay in the pub for 30-60 minutes, but then some of us would stay for hours, just chatting and making connections. I have actually made one good friend with whom I've gone on photography trips! If you want to get to know new people, just go and do it. It's daunting, I know, but totally worth it.

Thank you the suggestions sound great the photography sound ver appealing. It is beyond time for me to step outside of my comfort zone. I am glad you found friends.

Shy introvert here. For me it's always been difficult to develop true friendships, because most people won't take the time I'd need to open up to them. I'm no social butterfly. I moved three times between ages of six and nineteen, each time knowing absolutely no one in the new place. Luckily I did manage to find a few friends each time and I managed to keep contact with some of them. But it always took some time. I'm also still close to my family, having no family or relationship of my own. (My two brothers and sister are still living at home.)

I know it's difficult, but just go out and do something. Doesn't matter what, anything you enjoy. And sooner or later you'll meet like minded people you would like to hang out with more.

I moved a ton whilst growing up and once married moved 4 times in four years and two of those moves were overseas Tokyo and London.
When I moved to my current neighborhood 11 years ago my SIL lived up the street. She took me to the neighborhood Bunco group' although the game of Bunco is simply rolling a dice and at the end of each round some people stay at the table ( depending who wins) and some move to another table. So throughout the course of the evening you get to meet and talk to everyone. It was a great way of meeting new people and making some new friends. Whilst I only became close to one person in the group I know that it helped me as I was invited to other social events. We don't play as regularly as we once did but now tend to walk to a local restaurant or just meet up for drinks. there is a variation of ages in the group but we all get along pretty well.
I used to be pretty good at making friends but I think having small children was a huge help:)
Have you tried looking for groups held at your local library ? Ours has quite a few, photography, knitting club, political club. reading club and some others. They also have trips to local places of interest. Another place to meet people is at our local Habitat for Humanity organization.
We have had a beach house for the past 3 years and I have found that I do not have friends to socialize with when I am there ( my children don't come much they are older now) and quite frankly its a little boring when I go. I don't get down there often enough for me to try and get something going

I consider myself an introvert, prefering to spend time alone working on my hobbies, but I socialize easily and can speak to anyone and everyone. I will often chat with the people in line at check out, salespeople, etc. i have one friend who knows me pretty well since we had been friends for 45 years, but she lives 3-1/2 hrs away. So we text and talk almost everyday.

What is interesting is that my parents and in-laws had a wide circle of friends who would get together weekly if not more often and were constantly on the phone with each other. But my parents and in-laws and their friends all lived in the same areas/neighborhoods, belonged to the same churches and organizations, and quite frankly, were not all that involved in their children's lives as parents are today. Their children went to the same schools, families vacationed together, attended each other big events as families with no excuses of a sports game, recital, etc. Not so nowadays.

Families today rarely live in the same state, city, neighborhood for 50 to 60 years. Many women with kids work full time, rarely having anytime for anyone but family and kids activities. Everyone is in a rush and can't slow down to make any meaningful friendships.

Since I was a SAHM with my DD lots of moms became my friends since I was the flexible one who could watch their kids on a moments notice, but they did not want anything else from the friendship. When I went back to work part time none of these friends were willing to help out when I needed help. They were more interested in their own agenda.

My DH used to travel all over the world when we first married, so socializing with other couples really did not work for us. When we lived in another state 20 years ago we had a circle of friends (couples) that we socialized with, but since moving to our present location we have not been so lucky and we are ok with that. We have neighbors who have lived here for 50+ years and have the same social life my parents did. Then there are the younger ones who are all wrapped up in their jobs and families.

Oh and yes, I have a dog and while it helps with the socialization of both you and pet ( it can also invite some creeps which I avidly avoid), but I cannot find anything in common other than the dog which would make me forge any new friendships. I am happy with the way things are right now.

I'm late to it, but what a great thread - loved reading about everyone's experiences making, keeping or finding new friends. When we moved out to the rural area here full time it seemed like it might be impossible to make friends. I really had to change my expectations of what friends would be I think. Back in Austin it was work type friends with shared interests and ages, though most were raising kids and we were drifting away due to their need to focus on their new families. And truthfully none of them were those "true" friends you'd count on in times of need.

Some of my friends now are considerably older. But I have always had older friends - even as a kid. Most of the younger (mid life age) people out here are weekenders coming with their family (kids or grandkids) and spending their time boating on the lake, watching sports games, hunting, cooking out, or sometimes drinking too much. We haven't really clicked with many of them as far as shared interests. It's funny because when we do try to spend time with people with very different interests, sometimes I feel like they are oblivious to it and it's just us who are not enjoying ourselves.

DH and I have slowly found some friendships in other business owners in the area, as well as some retired business people and such. We both feel the need to have at least some business minded people as friends since it's such a big part of who we are. The chamber out here is kind of a joke however so that's not a great option. We tend to do most of our activity in the daylight hours as driving at night with all the deer on the roads and the curvy, hilly terrain, can be daunting.

I do enjoy spending time alone so I don't crave a huge amount of social interaction, but it's nice to have a few people you can count on for friendly conversation and laughs.

Hehehe ladywone, you're so cute: in reality it would be ComiCon, LOTR and the Walking Dead, but there would be mimosas. I hear you.

I'm reading this thread with interest. I don't have many good suggestions. I don't make women friends easily, although over the years I've found it's because of me, not because of the other women. I just can't make myself interested in the kinds of things the majority of women seem to want to talk about. Honestly, I've tried hanging out with the soccer moms -- I've been on many "girls' night out" type things -- and I don't really fit. Think about it: would you really be happy sitting around sipping wine and talking shopping, children, Costco, and men? Because that's usually what it is.

I do make a good female friend occasionally, though, and I'm very loyal when I do. For me, good friends are hard to find. I can see why it's hard for you. You're interested in more traditionally male things. Having moved about a lot as a kid and working in a male-dominated field doesn't help, either.

How about joining a book club? Or, if it's more up your alley, finding a group of people to play Dungeons and Dragons with. If you're into ComiCon, you might be into that.

Everyone's said it already, but I agree that it is incredibly difficult to make new friends as an adult*. People are busy with work and/or kids and/or partner and the only new people you meet are at work. The only real new friends I've made in the last 15 years since I've been out of college are two women I originally met in a local writers' group. All of us freelance from home so we were all looking for 'colleagues', if you will, and happened to hit it off personally as well. I'm friendly with other women that I know from sewing groups, exercise class, etc., but none of them are people I'd call if I needed help with something.

*pre-retirement age, I should say - my parents seem to make new friends all over the place these days. It's like everyone shifts back out of working/raising kids mode around 60-70 and acts like college students again, taking fun classes and traveling and meeting new people.

Thank you all for chiming in. Such diverse answers and feelings.

I'm late to this thread, but I feel your pain, Ledonna!

I was in your shoes a couple of years ago. I left my husband and found myself in desperate need of some friends with whom to hang out. It took a long time and a lot of trial and error! I joined a church and it was a horrible failure -- I swear, I couldn't get arrested at that joint even though I volunteered and attended services regularly and tried to be friendly to everyone. I struck up an acquaintance with a neighbor at my apartment building but she and I didn't really have anything in common beyond being recently separated. Finally I joined my local Rotary Club and that has been my salvation. They are really "my people" and I have made good friends and even met a nice man with whom I've been keeping company. Meanwhile, the neighbor I mentioned has had great luck meeting people via Meetup groups.

It really is just a matter of trial and error and putting yourself out there. Rotary has been great because there are service projects and you can get to know people while doing the projects. But anything that has to do with something that interests you will work -- for example, my gentleman friend has made a ton of friends via his interest in bike riding. YLF is a great example of that and I count many YLFers among my "real" friends at this point!

Hang in there and don't give up!