Help needed - I need to build up a basic SAHM wardrobe for my sister ! - YouLookFab Forum

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Help needed - I need to build up a basic SAHM wardrobe for my sister !

Anonymous

Hi

I just thought of a big surprise for my sister. She had twin babies 7 months ago and between the added expenses and the fact that she is always home caring for three kids, she has not had time or money to update her wardrobe. She always thinks she looks awful and that her wardrobe sucks. Not cool:)

I had offered her to come to my apartment and take whatever she wants from my closet. I don't really care what she takes, I have enough stuff for a few ladies, but I thought better to give her new things. Plus my concern is that my clothes might no longer fit her as I went down a size, whereas she still has some baby weight, understandably. My budget for this is about $300 -$400.

Here is a partial list I made. The goal is to give her a few good outfits for where she is home with the kids, along with a couple outfits for date night and an assortment of new tops that could compliment a bunch of jeans and skinnies she is getting from me, for daytime activities.

Here is my list:

Items for staying home days:
3 sweats: From Aeropostale on sale at $18 each
3 tops: GAP tees
1 hoodie: Aero on sale for $22
Stay home tees: A bunch from Aero, at 8 each.

Date Night - Adult time.
2 premium bootcuts - Joe's honey : From me ( Done)
3 Skinnies: GAP from my closet ( Done)
1 Black Skinnies: Need to get
2 A line skirts: I'm making them from a book I bought. These might take a while.
1 black blazer that fits well.
1-2 nice blouses in silk or other "more expensive" fabrication. Dry clean OK.

going out with kids:
Fun tops to go with jeans above (4)
Long cardigans (2)
2 or 3 tees.

Ballet flats:
1 pointy toe
1 round toe

What other things would you suggest? I know that many of you are SAHMs or working moms with small children. I'd love to hear your opinions.

Thank you!!!!

Shopping

20 replies

Latest reply was from

christieanne

Veteran

I think your list works really well! Does she have fashionable sneaker like a Con or something similar? I would switch one pair of flats for that type of shoe for her running around (if she does not have a cute one).
You are a very kind and sweet sister to treat her to this. It can be frustrating to be at home a lot and not feel great about yourself when you manage to get "out there" so this will be appreciated I am sure!

Sarah A

Veteran

This is sooo sweet! What a gift!

I am a SAHM to 17 mo and 3 yr old, personally my advice would be not so much on the sweats (maybe 1 or 2 and substitute another pair good looking jeans) unless she really digs the sweats. This could just be me though, and DH has always been against sweats too so this perhaps gives me a poisoned eye. I find that to get out the door (which is inevitable you need to go out to get milk or something) it is hard enough to get the kids ready much less change clothes yourself so I usually wear a cute T/top and jeans for at home then throw on a scarf/cute shoes/other finishing touch which I pick out in the morning and then place by the door and it works really well. I also would say maybe an easy day dress because a good dress always seems to look so put together and no thought to matching tops and bottoms is nice sometimes. Again, you win bestest sister award for sure!

AJ

Veteran

I will look at your list more thoroughly later, but I just had to chime in and say that this is such a generous and thoughtful thing to do for your sister! I will have to keep this in mind for my sister!

Isabel

Veteran

Zap, I am an SAHM and I am starting my wardrobe from scratch for Spring/Summer, since nothing fits me. I would recommend looking at JCPenney, they have some great stuff right now at great prices. Especially capris and cotton dresses. Are you doing a spring/summer capsule ?

I like walking shorts or capris right below the knee ( I wear these with high boots in the Fall/Winter ). A bathing suit cover up if she takes the kids to the beach and it can double as a light weight tunic off the beach. I also just bought this top in lieu of a graphic T, to wear under blazers or sweaters or with walking shorts. It is super light weight and not see through :

http://www.nyandcompany.com/ny.....Dolman-Top

I like to have a black pair of straight leg or slight boot leg ponte pants. Does she like skirts/dresses ? I am thinking of a maxi dress too.
I LOVE this idea !! You are just wonderful for doing this !

gradfashionista

(website)

Veteran

Bootleg cotton/spandex black yoga pants: easy to move in and wash, but can be dressed up with flats for doing errands.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Well, you know I'm not a SAHM, but your list looks really good! This is such a nice thing to do for your sister - kind of like a reverse baby shower.

Sarah's comment about the sweats got me thinking: what about structured yoga-type pants (the ones that have zippers and actual waistbands and stuff). Stretchy, comfy, but look more like a regular pant in case she needs to run out to the store? Of course I also do not do yoga, so I have no idea how much these cost. Jeggings might work the same way, too.

Remembering this post I read ages ago:
http://cheapjap.com/style/mommy-outfits

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

Hi Zap, I'm not a SAHM but have a similar lifestyle and dress code (very casual and since I live on a ranch, I get dirty). I think you have come up with an excellent list. You have covered many basics! And very kind of you to give her your premium jeans. Here are some other ideas that come to mind:
- Does she like trendy? If so she might have a blast with some colored denim capris plus a loose, cool knit top (instead of a tee). The loose tops have the benefit of hiding imperfections so I love this look! Gap, TJ Maxx have an abundance of these tops.
- Don't forget to hit up a TJ Maxx or Marshalls for max bang for the buck. But of course you have to be picky because there's plenty of cr*p there.
- Footwear can make or break an outfit. IMO that is the one element where people spoil an outfit by wearing overly "sensible" shoes like athletic footwear. I like your suggestion of ballet flats. What about a pair of cage/gladiator heels? They are just as comfy as flats if the heel is under 2" and would be a good date night addition.

Freckles

Veteran

What a sweet gift.

I've never been a big fan of sweats (the elastic waist bothers my stomach) and most sshirts are crew neck which usually come up too high and choke me. This is totally a personal comfort thing though and perhaps they are dreamy comfy for her.

I'm a fan of a pair of lace up shoes instead of one of the ballet flats too. Climbing play structures needs more support in my eye.

I love the idea of nicer blouses for date night but if she's anything like me a trip to the drycleaner just didn't happen during small child years. How about a nicer child friendly top for outings with family...fireworks, friends bbq, carnival, end of year sports team party. I find you want to look nicer but still a bit special and it needs to be washable.

Perhaps a bright tote/purse of some kind, a pair inconsequential studs/hoops and some really lovely shower gel? A cardigan?

Of course I have no idea of your sisters comfort level and lifestyle. Your list could be spot on.

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

I like printed silky polyester blouses because they are easy care and look very polished.

I also got a bunch of these in different colors:
http://www.target.com/p/Cherok.....detaillink
I send them to the cleaner's with my husband's shirts - they cost $1 to dc

I got these shoes for MOTG for spring: http://www.zappos.com/sperry-t.....d-metallic

Skinnies, some great cardigans and/or soft knit blazers are key.

Does she wear dresses? They are a nice option for hot summer days. One piece and you are done.

Inge

(website)

What a fantastic idea, Zapotee. I bet your sis will be over the moon with this thoughtful gift!
I like all the suggestions, and was also going to suggest a dress (with leggings if extra coverage is required) and maybe a denim jacket? A small wedge heel could be great too.
I also like the idea of ponte knit pants with a longer tunic style top instead of sweats.

And a fun scarf can never hurt either;-)

cciele

Veteran

I'd echo the leggings and/or yoga pants suggestions -- would work both for casual going out and staying at home. Some sleeveless/short-sleeve breezy cotton dresses for the summer. Denim cropped jacket. And of course, boots

Anonymous

Thank you so much for all of the responses and feedback. I'm coming back to comment shortly.

K. Period.

Veteran

Wow! What a kind thing to do! I want you to adopt me as a sister.

I have two little ones (4 yrs. and 18 mos.). Just looking over the list, I would suggest fewer things for go out nights and more "I look great" stay home variety. My hubby and I get out for date nights pretty often (compared to our friends). However, that is still probably only a couple of nights out a month. Weekends and evenings are pretty kid intense and there are lot more of them. Even going out often involves kids. I know that I really love being able to wear things that look nice, not necessarily dressy, but hip and fun, AND are easy care so that when the 18-month old wipes her yogurty hands on me, I'm okay with it.

Like some of the others, I'm not a fan of sweats because they make me feel slubby no matter how nice they are. I wear nicer yoga pants or ponte knit pants or even knit tops with leggings. They all feel more dressed to me than sweats. To me, changing into a pair of sweat pants after a day at the office feels relaxing. Wearing them all day feels depressing. With that said, that is just me. If your sister thinks they are heaven, you need to keep them in and ignore us!

Try asking your sister how much time she spends in each of the categories you've identified (totally brilliant of you, by the way) and take the wardrobe cues from that. I'd bet you could move one of the "date night" skirts to daytime with kids, go for inexpensive for the date night black jacket, drop a pair of the sweats, and add a daytime jacket (jean or leather), a pair of sandals and a pair of boots.

You totally deserve tons of acknowledgment too for the other thing you are adding to this all: the effort of putting it all together. I bet that after you are done with this, she tells you the best thing of all is that she doesn't have to think about what to wear, she can just reach into her closet and go. That gift of the time to think it out is really amazing. You totally rock!

(BTW, leather is surprisingly awesome for a MOTG because it cleans up with baby wipes. )

Anonymous

Hi all,

Wow, what a ton of amazing suggestions. Thank you SO MUCH! You are the best:)

I am building a spring / summer capsule but attempting to buy pieces that could be winterized or layered.

About the sweats, these will be actually a step up from the PJ pants and ripped old summer knits she is wearing around the house. However, I can see why we need to get her out of the slump, so I will keep an eye for cool leggings or yoga pants.

About shoes, getting a pair of lace up anything sounds like such a great idea. She promised me to look at her closet this week and make a "need" list of sorts, especially for shoes. Her feet grew so half of her shoes don't fit. I love the Sperry TS idea, as well as the Cons. I I think the Sperry's are more of her taste.

After taking a second look, I can see how the list got biased by my personal style goals. Yes, I agree that I need to beef up the weekend with the kiddos aspect.

About dresses: I wish she would give them a shot. She hates them but hey, I can add one. She will have a chance to return anything she does not like anyway.

Thank you for calling me a good sister. I only have a brother and a sister and we stick for each other like bandits.

And shoot.... How could I have forgotten a scarf!!!! and I would love to get a colored capri. How fun!

.... and I totally forgot about "on the spot" washing ability. Silk is out.

I am doing a first round of shopping tomorrow. Please keep the suggestions coming

Sarah A

Veteran

i second the jackets mentioned above... the jean jacket (summer) and leather jacket (winter) have gotten a lot of wear lately in my closet and make a nice finishing touch to an outfit.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Wow. That is so nice of you. Instead of addressing the clothes I will address your sister's situation, because I was there 7 years ago. Twins are so unbelievably exhausting, much more so than a single child (and even more so if you have another child already). Anyway, for the first two years after my girls were born I felt awful about myself. I think exhaustion had a lot to do with that, but twin pregnancy also can ravage your body. The best thing you can do for her on top of this project (which is wonderful - I really got into YLF trying to rebuild my self esteem after my twins), is help her get some rest if she is exhausted. And tell her it does get easier. Do you hear me projecting here?

Elly

Veteran

Really generous and great!

I agree with other's suggestions on fewer going out clothes and more kid-friendly but good looking things and nicer stuff to stay at home in. Also, if your sister used to wear heels and went up a size and hasn't replaced her pumps or sexy going out heels, it might be a good idea to make her feel great for date night even when your only paring them with 1 or 2 looks.

First, is nursing a consideration?

Second, is there a bit of self-pressure or motivation from your sis to get the baby weight off or back into pre-pregnancy shape/stuff? If so, it may be good to start smaller with only a few things (obvious enough so she has some great things to wear and perk her up, but maybe she doesn't need 6 pair of jeans and several skirts, esp. if you think she is going to wear the sweats mostly at home). I think I'd feel grateful for the in-between things, but would feel wasteful spending a ton of cash on new stuff that I hope to only wear for a few more months. If she is in that kind of mindset, maybe it would be better to start small and then say you'd like to do some more once her bodies finished "settling in" to what is likely to be a reasonable weight or shape. That way if she looses it great, if not- it still applies, but she doesn't feel like she has a whole new wardrobe but only for a tiny bit of her life and is going to have to start again from scratch when she gets to her "real" weight-- probably with less than she's recieving from you. It might not apply to your sis though, and I can imagine with twins it may be way down on the list.

Tanya

Veteran

You are really a wonderful sister Zapotee! What a sweet thing to do!

What I would suggest is maybe an affordable simple dress that she can dress up for date nights etc? And for summers running around, maybe a pair of denim clamdiggers/shorts, with a loose tunic and sandals (like Angie's yesterday formula). Finally, a cure cross-body nag would leave her hands free when out and about with children..

Freckles

Veteran

Zapotee how did your sister's wardrobe turn out?

Anonymous

The project was put on hold because she want to lose the baby weight first. Thanks for asking.