Help for a new member! - YouLookFab Forum

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Help for a new member!

Chi-TownLove

Hello, lovely ladies.

I’m sort of new to YLF—this is my first post but I’ve been reading (obsessively!!!) for a couple months now. Eventually, I’d like to start posting my own outfits and getting some advice but right now I have another matter I’m going to beg for help with. I’m getting married in October and can’t for the life of me find a bridesmaid dress that I actually like. I’m hoping you all might be able to help me out, giving me some suggestions or specific links.

First, I’ll tell you about the wedding and what I’m looking for. We are having a destination wedding in VA beach, early Oct. It should be warm enough for a dress but I’m expecting wind so nothing too short. It’s certainly not a formal affair, but I would like everyone to look nice! I want something modern and chic, without looking “weird” because it’s a wedding. Our colors are yellow and green, with some chocolate brown thrown in (calla lilies and lemons and limes for decorations). I don’t care for matchy-matchy so no need for the dress to perfectly match something else. In fact, if I absolutely fall in love with a dress, I don’t even care if it’s green or yellow or whatever. I’m finding many yellow and green dresses, but they are often SCARY colors---colors that I feel with 3 girls standing next to each other it’s going to hurt your eyes. Also, I’m not a fan of shiny or sparkly stuff---a few beads I can do, but no satin dress or anything covered in sequins please. Lastly, I’d prefer to keep it under $150.

I would describe my dress as a greek-style. A family friend is making it (for an unbelievably low price) so I don’t have a complete picture yet but it looks very similar to this (http://www.madonna.pl/en/manuelmota.php?s=19.salem) except I will only have the right strap. The groom is wearing a cream colored linen suit. He’ll have a white shirt and a steel grey shiny tie and handkerchief---he’s European and has a very European style, he put this together himself and I really like it. The groomsmen/ushers will wear khakis and a white button down.

Some ideas that I have had…..One, a light gray sheath with a yellow belt and necklace with chunky white beads and a yellow tie ribbon. The problem with this idea is two-fold, I can’t find any of these pieces and I’m afraid it will clash with the grooms cream colored suit (plus, would this look weird at a wedding? Or with my dress?). Two, a printed dress—less bridesmaidy while toning down yellow—haven’t really found anything that fits the bill here. I just want something different—something creative and chic. HELP!!!!

Before I close this long-winded message, can I just say I really dislike bridesmaid dresses? The style, the material (that stiff shiny stuff!), the cost. It’s just not me or my style. Anyway, thanks a million in advance. Any advice would be appreciated!

Dressing

15 replies

Latest reply was from Chi-TownLove

shiny

Veteran

Wow, that dress is STUNNING.

Have you checked out Jcrew and Ann Taylor yet? Both have affordable bridesmaids' dresses. That would be my first stop!

http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Brows.....smaids.jsp

and

http://www.anntaylor.com/catal.....038;loc=LN

(Also check out their cocktail dresses, particularly since you say you don't like the standard bridesmaid's silouhettes)

Colorwise, with lime and lemon I have been lately wearing:

- navy
- purple/magenta
- fuschia
- turquoise
- red (cranberry and tomato)

And Angie has been pairing these colors with:

- cobalt blue
- tomato red
- fuschia

Click on "Accessories" link on Angie's blog... she recently has posted a bunch of outfits with lime and lemon accents so this might give you some more color inspiration!

I think you could also get away with coral too.

Chris

JCrew has bridesmaid dresses as well - really cute party dresses but could be bridesmaid.
Chocolate brown would be pretty for a fall wedding. Then they could use your other colors in accents - bouquets, jewelry.

I'd also hit the largest dept store you can find just about now (post prom) and look at dresses on salesfloor and avoid bridal shops.
Nordstrom website has a lot of special occasion dresses - tons of colors but here's a blue "grecian" style:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/29.....4&P=2

Let us know what you find - and don't stress too much as I am sure the focus will be on you and fiance and celebrating the occasion

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I have nothing further to add because the lasses have spoken but welcome to the forum! Keep us posted on those frocks.

Chi-TownLove

Thank you Shiny and Chris!
I have checked Jcrew and Ann Taylor---although I realized it's been awhile since I checked AT so I went back today.
I did find this:
http://www.anntaylor.com/catal.....ory=Misses
which I do like. I think it fits with beach and grecian....although it's so hard to tell if the yellow is "scary" (I'm going to call and see if there's a store nearby that carries that particular dress). There are many other dresses I like on Jcrew, but I either feel like they are too businessy or too beachy-casual (they lack the chic, modern look). Am I making any sense?
As for the colors you listed, Shiny, I definitely want to look for some Turquoise options. For my sister's sake, I need to avoid a tomato red (she hates how she looks in it) and I don't think I want fuschia (funny because I am more than happy to wear it...).
One of my concerns, especially with grays, navys, browns etc. is that with the sand, sky and water as the background, they will get "lost". This would apply to the dress you posted also Chris---although I like the style, will that color be okay? Do you think that I NEED a brighter, saturated color?
I'll keep you all updated AND I promise not to stress out too much. So far this wedding stuff has been relatively non-stressful. This dress is the first thing I struggled with. I think that make me (and my fiance!!!) very lucky!
Fairly soon I'll try to take a day to hit the biggest Nordstrom I can find. Until then, ladies please keep the suggestions coming. THANKS a million!

shiny

Veteran

Hmm, given the beach and the autumn factor, I am thinking cobalt would be absolutely awesome..... realizing however you may have to settle if you want a specific, grecian style:

http://youlookfab.com/2009/05/.....nic-dress/

Not this dress- wrong fabrication - but see how great that color looks with lime and lemon?

I have a cobalt coat (Jcrew) I wore all fall and winter and I am crazy about this color. Angie is brilliant to wear it with lime and lemon for warmer months. Such a versatile color - if you found it in a wearable sheath style, your birdesmaids' would thank you.

Steph

Veteran

I have a few thoughts on this. But first, you said you hate bridesmaid dresses and it just isn't your style. Have you thought about not having matching bridesmaid dresses at all? What if you gave your bridesmaids guidelines, like telling them you wanted something in yellow (or green, or turquoise), gave them a length, and maybe a few other pointers, like nothing shiny. Then ask them to just let you know before they purchase, so you can have a final veto if the dress would be really out of place with what the other bridesmaids chose. That way they can choose something in their price range and that is flattering to them. Your wedding photos would still have consistency--I have seen this done before and it looks really nice. Personally, I think this is a much more modern approach than putting your closest friends/family in matching dresses.

If you don't like that idea, I do think that the Ann Taylor dress you chose is quite pretty. I know you mentioned the J. Crew ones are a little too business-y or too beach casual. I recently wore this dress as a bridesmaid, and wouldn't classify it as either too business-y or too casual: http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Brows...../96454.jsp All of the bridesmaids got a lot of compliments on the dress, and I have already worn mine again.

I would also look at Nordstrom, Bloomingdales and BCBG. They have a lot of really cute dresses that look more like cocktail dresses and less like bridesmaid dresses.

Chi-TownLove

Thanks Angie also--I promise I wasn't skipping you earlier, we must have been writing at the same time!
Steph--I also like the idea of different dresses. And, I wish the ladies for whom I have been a bridesmaid would have gone this route! Unfortunately, I don't think my bridesmaids would appreciate it. My sister more or less hates shopping and my best friend has a 2 month old and her husband is in Iraq until Oct--she might break down in tears if I suggested she had to find her own dress! BUT, that doesn't mean I can't choose more than one dress myself, right?
I'm thinking I might have given the impression that I'm specifically looking for a grecian style dress. Although I wouldn't mind one, that's not really a priority for me. Am I wrong? Should my dress "match" the style of their dress?

I do like the cobalt blue idea--and that was solidfied after seeing your example of Angie, Shiny.
I found this one on AT:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/30.....0&P=2
Not super beachy, but I think it could work. I think it would be beautiful with some calla lilies and maybe a yellow necklace?

We have not committed to a lot of color anywhere so far. The only thing other than the lemons and limes (they will be sliced and in a caraffe with water and maybe in a bowel here or there) and a table runner my mom is making out of a light/bright batik material (so it has a wide range of greens). I think it would look really great with the cobalt blue! Since we will be eating on the deck, there probably won't be too much more for decorations---some x-mas white lights and candles.
Again, THANKS a lot. I really appreciate it!

Steffi

I just wanted to say the cobalt blue is gorgeous and will look smashing with those other colors. I also like Steph's idea of the bridesmaid dresses not matching. I think that would be so refreshing and lovely. I am actually going to an outdoor wedding in a few weeks and the bridesmaids are wearing different dresses...I think that is fabulous. Good luck my dear and don't be afraid to experiment with color!!

shiny

Veteran

Chi, that dress is very pretty but it's made of jeresy, so I think that is too casual for a wedding?

How do you feel about stretch satin? Is that too bridesmaidy? I personally like it because the stretch is forgiving on lumpy bodies like mine. Hee hee. Chiffon would also be nice if you don't like the shiny factor.

Here are some stretch satin options - googling "calvin klein" because these dresses are all over right now, I've seen them at TJ Maxx, Macy's, and here you go, on Overstock:

http://www.overstock.com/Cloth.....u=11981058

http://www.overstock.com/Cloth....._iid=33969

I actually own this exact dress - it's a very flattering cut and comfortable:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/30.....erralID=NA

If you don't mind stretch satin try googling Maggie London and Donna Ricco, another two that are in a nice price range and that I find are cut flattering.

Alternatively you could go with something in a chiffon, which would be floaty and complement your dress. I don't personally wear chiffon dresses because I find I need more structure but I'm guessing your bridesmaids are younger than I am! Here are some chiffon ideas:

Ooh, this is pretty - and can't beat the price:
http://www.overstock.com/Cloth.....oduct.html

This is not cobalt but I love the neckline - and it's grecian inspired, don't you think?
http://www.overstock.com/Cloth.....oduct.html

Not sure about the length of this one, but I love the halter:
http://www.overstock.com/Cloth.....oduct.html

Here's another possibility:
http://www.overstock.com/Cloth.....oduct.html

What body types are your bridesmaids? Do they have nice shoulders? Would they like something strappy or even strapless?

This one has a pattern that would totally work - unfortunately it's about to sell out:
http://www.overstock.com/Cloth.....oduct.html

This could be fun:
http://www.overstock.com/Cloth.....oduct.html

This is more expensive, and it's lemon instead of blue, but it reminds me of your dress and the length is more beachy:
http://www.overstock.com/Cloth.....oduct.html

WOW! I can't believe what great deals overstock has on bridesmaids dresses!

Debora

Veteran

Great options, Shiny! I wore the first dress (the satin Calvin Klein) in black to a gala last year and then passed it down to my daughter since we are the same size. I bought it at Nordies but since then I have seen it in several stores in so many beautiful colors. I'm pretty sure I have seen it in colbalt. I've also seen it in a cotton version.

I also love the cobalt dress that Shiny wore. I remember seeing the post on the forum and she looked amazing in it. It's a very flattering dress.

The chiffon dresses are lovely, also, and they would complement your dress as Shiny pointed out.

Good luck and best wishes to you, chi! I hope you find the perfect dress. The girls here are full of great ideas!

Debora

Veteran

Chi,
Here's the stretch satin Calvin Klein that Shiny mentioned in cobalt. This is the one I wore but mine was in black:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/30.....erralID=NA

And here's another Calvin Klein satin sheath with a sweet-heart neckline:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/30.....erralID=NA

Here's another idea. If you like the idea of cobalt and separate dresses, how about something like the two dresses above and Shiny's dress?

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/30.....erralID=NA.

Three separate dresses but in the same color and fabric. Also, three very different looks from the back.

I just went back and reread your original post that you didn't care for satin so these may not work for you. I did feel that my stretch satin dress wasn't overly formal when I wore it. That's why I gave it to my daughter to use as a cocktail dress when I was done with it.

Just a few more options to confuse you if you are still thinking along the cobalt line!

Debora

Veteran

Me again!

By the way, VA beach is lovely in October! My parents went there for their honeymoon in October of 1950. They stayed at the historic Cavalier Hotel.

My husband and I celebrated our own September anniversary there several years ago. The weather was perfect!

Chi-TownLove

Sorry I am so slow getting back this time! Crazy busy the past couple of days.
Thanks a million for the continuing suggestions. After all the examples provided (wow, shiny and debora! Awesome!), I was totally sold on the cobalt idea. BUT, I don't think my fiance is quite there. His concern is that although it will look fabulous with yellow and lime, it won't pop on the beach with the ocean, sky, and sand while he thinks a yellow will. I can sort of see his point and I want his to love the look also so I think I need to continue the search. BUT, for my birthday, my mom would like to buy me a dress for our rehersal dinner. I think I might get a cobalt dress myself! I think it's something I'll be able to wear again and again.
I went back to the AT dress I posted and actually was going to order one to test it out. But, they are out of the sizes I need...so that option is also gone.
Shiny, you mentioned that you thought the jersey dress might not be dressy enough for wedding--and now I think you are right. The stretch satin doesn't look that shiny to me...so maybe I'll be okay with that. I'm sure I'ver seen it many times but I'm going to look around and try to find some examples in the store. Debora, you said you didn't think it was overly formal--do you mean it was as shiny as traditional satin? It seems like it wouldn't be.
Lastly, Debora---so glad to read your last comment!!! I've been to Nags Head during early Oct and it was fabulous but I've gotten a lot of "Oh, are you sure you want to do this outside in October??? Won't it be too cold?". I'm trusting the average temps are accurate on weather.com but I'm still glad to hear from someone whose been there during that time period.
I guess I'm basically I'm still looking....probably for something that might pop more....although I'm definitely going to keep the above option in mind...any continued help is greatly appreaciated. THANKS!!!

Debora

Veteran

Hi Chi!

Sorry, I wasn't all that clear. What I meant was that my stretch satin dress wasn't as stiff and shiny as the satin you sometimes see in bridesmaid dresses. It's less formal. I know you mentioned that you really disliked traditional bridesmaid dresses. I was thinking that the stretch satin dresses could be worn again as cocktail dresses after the wedding. I gave mine to my daughter when I was finished with it because she lives in NYC and often has cocktail parties or dressy events she has to attend and I thought she would get more use out of it. And, of course, there are many, many other fabric options out there.

What about the original Ann Taylor Lydia dress that you were considering? Did you ever get to see it in person? It looks lovely.

I think your fiance has brought up a valid point. There are several ladies on this forum who are amazing with colors and can help give you advice on great color combinations. I know you'll find the perfect colors and perfect dresses and your day will be wonderful!

I've also been to Nag's Head in early October for Columbus Day weekend and had beautiful weather. We were able to be on the beach in our bathing suits. VA beach is only an hour and a half away and I think the weather is not all that much different between the two places. I love VA beach! It's got such a beautiful, wide beach and a wonderful boardwalk. It'll be perfect!!!

Good luck!

Chi-TownLove

So when I first tried to order the AT dress in the correct size and color it wasn't available. I've been "stalking" the AT site for days now and finally got a couple yesterday. I don't think they will arrive until next week. So, we'll see then.

For now, I'm taking a little break from dress looking. I'm spending too much time on it at the moment. I'm going to wait and see the AT dress and then go from there. I will keep you updated for sure!

Thanks for your all help Debora and excellent feedback!